The Healer
by miZaru667
Summary: Jaycee's always been different. When she's accepted into Hogwarts she knows that's all about to change. But is it? Jaycee's years at Hogwarts are full of obstacles she never anticipated. Including a frustrating boy by the name of Sirus Black...
1. The Beginning

Ch 1 The Beginning _September_

"Goodbye Emily" I whispered to the little girl whose arms were clasped around my middle. My mother had already left the station to return to my father, who'd waited in the car. I didn't mind though. Emily was the only person in my family I wanted to say goodbye to anyway. I pried her small hands apart and placed them by her sides. She pouted so I gave her one last kiss on the forehead and a smile. I love my little sister to the ends of the earth, but nothing on the planet of earth will cause me to miss my first day of my first year at Hogwarts' School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"Buh bye Jaycee" she grinned with all her might and waved, trying to disguise the tears that were quickly forming in her dark brown eyes.

I didn't want to be late. But I'm not heartless. I dropped my bags and picked her up by her waist. She shrieked with delight as I spun her 'round and 'round. Her long dark blond locks stung as they hit me in the face.

"I'll be back really, really soon!" I said patting her fringe back into place.

"You promise?" She buried her head in my shoulder. I felt my sleeve grow damp.

"You won't even know I'm gone." I placed her on the ground, told her to go back to mummy and that I'd her super soon. She sniffed and wiped her nose and turned around.

I felt my own eyes start to burn and bit my lip as I watched her tiny form dragging her feet toward the exit. She'll be alright, I told myself. She's not like me.

V V V V V V

The red train was gleaming and magnificent. All around parents were hustling and bustling trying to get their kids on in time, girls were squealing as they caught a glimpse of each other after have being separated for two months, boys were laughing and slapping on another on the back as they told of their summer stories, little siblings were whining, and tired looking teachers on duty herded the students towards the coaches.

Wide-eyed, and in a daze, I drifted towards the nearest coach. It was all a bit too much to take. I had to keep telling myself it was real. And happening. I was finally free. I was finally around people just like me. 11 years of wondering why I was so different. They didn't want me to go. They said there was no way they were paying to make me weirder. My parents that is. I managed to convince them though. It took weeks, but they were happy to have me out of the house. I was glad. Here, I was normal. I smiled, then, catching a glimpse of myself in a dark window, faltered. Staring straight back was a pair of eerily golden eyes. Freaky. That's what my father calls them. I'm a freak. My eyes are freaky. What happened to them that one time was freaky. That's all I'll ever be. A freak. Even here would I still be a little... different?

A boy with long, shaggy dark hair nearly bowled me over as he accidentally ran into me. Suddenly startled after being lost in thought, I jumped and instinctively lashed out, hitting him in the eye.

"What the hell was that for?" He angrily spat, rubbing his eye from on the ground.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry! It was an accident! I didn't mean to!" I held out my hand to help him up. He surveyed my outstretched hand, narrowed his gray eyes, pushed himself up off the ground and deftly walked away. I awkwardly ran my hand through my tousled, short, dark blond, hair. My fringe tickled the tops of my eye lids as it fell back into place. Good one, Jaycee. Already making enemies. Though I did think he was a little rude.

The train let out an enormous noise and I quickly dropped my bags off and scrambled to get up the steps onto the coach. All the compartments were already filled, so I had to walk all the way to back to find one with room. There were two girls sitting there already, whispering to each other.

"Can I sit here?" I smiled politely.

The one with long fire-y hair frowned and the other sighed.

"Uhhh... well... we were sort of..." the second girl started, shifting in her seat.

"No." Her redhead friend cut her off. She turned her back on continued the conversation. "So do you know what he said next? He goes, go out with me and I'll never tease him again. Can you believe that! I was like; uhh I'll go out with you when hell freezes over!"

"What did you say then, Lil?" Her friend asked, intrigued.

I rolled my eyes and left the compartment with a slam of the door. Along the corridor I saw a boy with sandy blond hair surrounded by three other boys. I approached them to ask if I could maybe hang out with them, but soon realized the three bigger boys were clearly not wanted by this other one. Three on one? What were the odds on the sandy blond one?

"Hey!" I shouted from halfway down the corridor. The three turned around. The boy with the shoulder length white hair leered at me. The other two were big and stocky, and by the looks of it, exceedingly stupid.

"Leave him alone! What'd he ever do to you lot?" I walked toward them trying to make myself look as tough as possible. Tweedledum and tweedledumber snickered as the first boy raised an eyebrow. He turned back to the smaller boy.

"Look Lupin, you have a rescuer. Someone to protect you from us big scawee bullies" he mocked. I frowned. How dare he. I'm a threat. I can be threatening. I pulled out the wand I had been carrying around for the past month and polishing each night with reverence.

"Ohh noo. Rescuer has her wand" he said in a baby voice.

I squeezed my eyes shut and pointed my wand, praying to anyone listening that this worked. "Petrificus Totalus!"

I opened one eye, then seeing it was safe, the other. I puffed out my chest with pride. The first boy was frozen on the ground and his two sidekicks nowhere to be seen. The endless reading of those spell books hadn't been for nothing! The sandy haired boy tentatively stood up, wide eyed.

"Where'd you learn to do that?" He breathed, staring at my victim.

"I read a lot over the holidays." I simply stated.

"Mine don't work that well."

"Oh... well... I practiced a lot too. I used to torture the neighbour's cats for fun before anyway."

He chuckled. "Remus Lupin."

"Jaycee Aigleigh" I nodded.

After a bit of an awkward silence he crinkled his eyebrows and said, "I've never seen gold eyes before."

"Uhh..." What was I meant to say to something like that?

"Oh! They're pretty" he quickly continued.

"Thanks," I laughed, "Pretty different, that's what they are. My family says they're 'freaky.'"

"Your family's nuts. I think they're awesome." He smiled. "Want to go find a compartment?"

"Sure." I replied happily.

"Firs' yers! Firs' yers! All firs' yers!" The biggest man I had ever seen in my entire life blundered by gathering all the first years behind him.

Remus looked at me. "That's us, we better follow him."

I agreed and we headed off in pursuit of our classmates. Among the group were the two girls who had brushed me off earlier, the three boys I had beaten, the horrible boy I had accidentally punched, a pretty girl with dark brown hair and startlingly blue eyes, a boy with messy brown hair and glasses, another blond boy, plump, with watery eyes and a red face, and a curly haired blonde who smiled a lot. We walked towards the lake while Remus filled me in on the houses of Hogwarts.

"Gyffindor's the best obviously" I stated, brandishing his wand. "For the brave of heart!"

I looked at my slightly shaking hands. That wouldn't be the house for me that was for sure.

"Really," he continued jogging to keep up with the giant man, "any house is better than Slytherin. That's where all the dark wizards and witches end up. Ravenclaw is for the smart people... that wouldn't be too bad, that house" he mused, "and they say Hufflepuff is for the very loyal, but I think that's where they put the ones that aren't smart, brave, or evil. There's some kind of test they put you through to determine the house..."

Test? Oh my Gosh. No one had warned me about a test. My hands were now definitely shaking.

"Mary McDonald" I heard a voice behind us. It was the smiley honey haired girl.

"Jaycee Aigleigh" I replied and shook her hand.

"Remus Lupin" Remus grinned.

"I'm so nervous for the sorting, aren't you? My older brother said that we had to battle a dragon! Can you believe it! I think he was lying though... he does that often." She amicably chattered to us. She seemed really nice. Remus opened his mouth to reply, but the giant cut us off.

"Four t' a boat. Dun shove like a pack've 'ippogriffs now" What on earth was an Ippogriff? I looked at the fleet of small boats floating gently on the shimmering lake. I wondered if it was too late to turn around.

Faintly, I followed Mary, Remus and another girl who said her name was Brianne Bell into one of the creaky wooden boats which immediately began moving towards what I assumed would the castle, itself. It was very serene on the boats. Everyone was utterly silent, respecting the beauty of the lake... until...

SPLASH!

"JAMES! I AM GOING TO-" _gurgle_..._cough "_KILL YOU! AHH SOMETHING'S GOT MY LEG!" It was the boy I had punched in the face. I noted to myself that he had one shiner of a black eye. For a reflex, that was pretty good. The boy called James was laughing hysterically. He pulled his friend back into the boat and flinched, expecting revenge, only it never came.

Because everyone had suddenly stopped giggling and were staring wide eyed and open mouthed at the magnificent castle before them.

I had never seen something so beautiful before. There were turrets and towers, stained glass windows, and archways. It was exquisite. All thoughts of turning back abandoned me and I sat in awe for the rest of the boat ride. I was here. For the next 7 years this was home. I sat up straight and grinned widely as the boats hit the shore, grabbing Remus' arm in excitement. I couldn't wait for the adventure to start.

**Thanks for reading :) You know... if you did. Then again, if you've gotten this far chances are you've read the whole thing. Anyway! I really want to upload all my prewritten chapters already, but I'm just going to have to restrain myself so I was thinking weekly updates. Review pleaaase! That would make me reaally happy XD**


	2. The Sorting

Ch 2 The Sorting _September_

I stood nervously beside Remus and Mary, shuffling from one foot to the other. Looking around I noticed everyone must have been feeling the same, even James and the boy I had met first were looking a bit subdued. There had been stories of fighting trolls and dragons, of having to display a difficult spell, and the most ridiculous of all, wearing a talking hat.

A woman with brown hair tied in a severe knot at the back of her head, beady eyes and a pointed witches' hat strode through the gigantic doors in front of us into the hallway we were standing in. Everyone craned their necks to get a view into the Great Hall, but to no avail.

"Welcome first years." She smiled briefly, and her stern face melted, "I am Professor McGonagall, head of Gryffindor house and professor of transfiguration. Today marks the beginning of 7 years of magical education. Entering the hall, you will be sorted into houses according to an esteemed judge. Your house will be like your family. Achievements will earn you points, while misdemeanours will lose you points. The house with the most points at the end of the year wins the House Cup." She checked her watch. "I believe they are ready for you. Enter in single file line please."

We jostled into a wonky line and slowly walked through the doors.

If I had thought the castle was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, the great hall had proven me very, very wrong. The ceiling was black with stars scattered across identical to the constellations outside. I heard the redheaded girl on the train whisper to her friend that the ceiling was an exact replica of the sky outside. There were candles dimly lit suspended in mid air and four long tables covered with empty plates. Hundreds of pairs of eyes were staring directly at us. I felt my cheeks grow warm. In front of me, Remus' ears had turned a startlingly bright red. At the front of the hall, in front of another table for the professors, was a stool with a tattered and patched up old witch hat on top. Next to that stood an old man with long white hair and a longer white beard. He wore gold half moon glasses, and I could see his blue eyes twinkle as he watched us walk in.

"That's professor Dumbledore." Remus whispered.

"Another year! Welcome new faces, and welcome back to our old ones. Before we tuck in to another delectable feast, we will begin the sorting. First years if you would please come up as your name is called, sit on the stool and place this hat on your head. But first..." He turned to the hat.

We all waiting with bated breath. Then something amazing happened. A rip in the hat opened like a mouth and it began to sing.

_Welcome all to a new year_

_Filled with lessons, friendships_

_Falls and fears_

_But first it's time to see _

_Where you will fit_

_On this ever growing family tree_

_Our four founders started out_

_Joined in love with_

_Not a single doubt_

_They taught together_

_United and strong_

_Hogwarts would surely last forever_

_But discord and distress_

_Penetrated our wall_

_Not long after, I will confess_

_Brave Gryffindor _

_Only wished for the courageous students_

_To walk through the door_

_Clever Ravenclaw disagreed_

_Only those with aptitude for smarts_

_Were what the school did need_

_Sly Slytherin said only those_

_As cunning as he and pure of blood_

_Were who they should've chose_

_Kind Hufflepuff took anyone _

_Who wanted to learn her magic_

_No account for smarts, bravery, or cun_

_So the four houses were created_

_But soon outside forces may threaten these halls_

_And our divided school may soon become ill-fated_

_It's my job nonetheless to see_

_How you shall be divided_

_On the Hogwarts family tree_

After a few silent moments the whole hall burst into applause. All the first years were looking at each other nervously. Outside forces? Ill-fated? What was that supposed to mean?

"Ackerly, Andrew" McGonagall read from a long scroll.

A short, skinny, black haired boy approached the stool. He gave the hat a sideways glance before placing it on his head.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" The hat called. Ackerly hurried to the table of cheering Hufflepuffs.

"Aiglee, Jaycee" My hands were sweaty and my stomach was turning somersaults. Remus quickly squeezed my hand for luck as I left the line and approached the stool.

I picked up the hat and dropped it on my head.

"Ohhh... very tricky, this one." A soft voice inside my head muttered. "Potential, yes, lots of potential. Very clever, cunning, and lots of courage I see. But... what's this? Something... different? I've seen this only once before. You will amount to greatness, my dear. However... I see Ravenclaw in you. Rowena reincarnated. But no... " I gulped. "I think, yes I very much think..."

"GRYFFINDOR!" The hat suddenly called out. A wave of relief washed over me as I hurried to the scarlet and gold table.

"Black, Sirius." It was that boy again. The one from before the train. His eye had subsided a little in the cold lake water, I supposed. He swaggered up to the stool and confidently placed the hat on his head. No sooner had it touched his hair it screamed:

"GRYFFINDOR!" The hall was absolutely silent. The Gryffindors were wide eyed and the Slytherins had gaping mouths. The awkward silence lasted only for a few moments until Potter cheered loudly leading the rest of the school in a whooping applause.

I listened as Evans Lily, Macdonald Mary, Lupin Remus, Pettigrew Peter (the blond fat boy), Potter James, and Prewett Alice were also sorted into Gryffindor. Avery, Nott, and Malfoy, the three bullies on the train were sorted into Slytherin.

"Now that we are all sorted, let the feast... begin!" Dumbledore waved his arms and the most mouth-watering food appeared in front of us. I immediately dug in to the delicacies in front of me. Remus, to the left of me, was chatting to James and Sirius opposite him. Mary McDonald was on my right nattering away in my ear. But I wasn't listening. I had never been so happy in my life. Finally escaping my home, where I was too different to be part of the family, was a feeling indescribable.

After the feast the Gryffindor prefects, Molly Prewett and Arthur Weasley led us up to the Gryffindor tower. I wondered if Molly was a relative of Alice. They didn't look very similar. Alice had dark hair and olive skin where Molly had flaming red hair and pale, freckled skin.

"The password is 'Devil's Snare.'" Arthur Weasley stated and we watched the portrait of a fat woman in front of us swing open to reveal a round, cosy looking common room. There were two staircases winding up to the dormitories.

"Girls, you dorms are up there," Molly Prewett gestured to the left staircase, "You'll find all your bags already in your room." All we girls scurried up the stairs to see our bedroom. I heard Arthur Weasley show the boys up their staircase and warn them that if they tried to get up our staircase it would turn into a slide. Black and Potter groaned loudly causing me to roll my eyes.

Lily, Alice, Mary and I stepped into the round room with four four-poster beds flung with thick, red, down covers. I found my bags and pulled out my pyjamas. Drawing the curtains around me I quickly changed and pulled the covers up to my ears. I heard the others making noises as they got ready for bed. Lily and Alice had said nothing to me or Mary. They were whispering together and shushing one another. I didn't think I was going to like them much.

When I closed my eyes pictures of lakes and starry nights swam across my vision. I thought about home. I wondered how little Emily was doing without me. That was the only bad part about this place. I didn't get to see her. It's alright, I consoled myself. I'll write to her tomorrow. I turned on my side and soon fell into a fretful sleep, where golden eyes haunted my dreams.


	3. The Saviour

Ch 3 The Saviour _November_

I awoke to the sound of shrieking. Sitting up, hair dishevelled, eyes still stuck together with sleep, I pulled apart the curtains around my bed.

"What is it?" Mary mumbled groggily. I rubbed my eyes and looked over towards Lily's bed where an enormous tawny owl was pecking at her hair. We had now been here for three months, and I was settling in quite well. Remus and I were inseparable and I was firm friends with Mary too. Defence Against the Dark arts was my absolute favourite subject. I soon learned I was far ahead of the rest of the class in defensive spells and learning new ones took a try or two, unlike most who took sometimes five of six times to get it right. Professor Elmwood was surprised by how quickly I was picked up spells, but had given me some extension 2nd and 3rd year work. Transfiguration, too, was relatively simple and once I had grasped the basic fundamentals it came with ease. I didn't know how I was doing so well. I put it down to a lot of background reading.

"GET IT OFF ME!" She screamed, whacking out violently at the owl.

"HEY!" I jumped out of bed. "That's MY owl! Leave him alone! He's just never seen red hair before, that's all." I went to rescue Lily from my owl, Mouse. I had bought him for Emily for her birthday so she could send me letters during school. There was a letter attached to his leg. I smiled and Lily scowled and stalked to the bathroom to fix her hair. Mouse was a bit... impaired, let's just say. A backwards owl, hence the name 'Mouse.' Even in three months, he still hadn't been able to pick up the fact that letters were delivered at breakfast.

"You should keep that thing locked up." She called. Not a bad idea, but like I was going to tell her that.

"Mouse isn't a _thing_." I said icily. "And if you're so pathetic maybe you should be locked up." Mouse ruffled his feathers to dislodge the light dusting of snow on his wings and nibbled on my finger as I slid the letter off his leg.

_Deer Jaycee,_

_I miss u. Wen r u cuming home? Mummy gived me a bike tooday. It is blu. Thats uor favorit culler! _

_Love from_

_Emily xxxxxoooo_

She had drawn a picture of her bike on the back of the paper. I smiled and folded the letter and placed it in the drawer next to my bed. Soon Emily, very soon. Mouse flew out of the window to the owlery and I pulled on the black robes crumpled next to my bed. The others weren't ready yet, but I wanted to get down to breakfast. I was hungry!

Singing softly to myself I skipped down the staircase and saw Remus at the bottom with his dorm mates James, Black and Peter. I quite liked James and Peter, but I couldn't stand Black. I mostly hung out with the four of them because apart from Mary the girls in my dorm were a bunch of cows, but I still could hardly tolerate that arrogant, annoying, insufferable toerag.

"Hey Remus, James, Peter" I gave each of them a quick hug before turning to glare at Black.

"What?" He demanded. "No hug for me, goldeyes?" He stuck out his tongue.

"Nope." I walked toward the door pulling Remus with me in my haste to get to food. "And DON'T call me gold eyes." I narrowed my eyes.

"Whatever you say, goldy." He smirked. "Lead on. I need FOOD!"

I growled under my breath.

V V V V V V

Lily, Alice and Mary came down not long after. Somehow, somewhere, Mary had befriended the two. I wasn't surprised. Everyone in the year liked Mary. Apart from a few of the Slytherins, but they didn't like anyone. Seeing me and Remus she led Lily and Alice over to where we were sitting with James, Peter and... that thing. We always sat together even though the majority of us disliked each other. It just sort of happened that way. Habit, I guess.

"Morning guys" she smiled brightly sitting next to Remus, who was patiently explaining my Potions homework to me. "Oh good. We're doing potions. Reckon you can do mine as well, Remy?"

He groaned, "bloody hell, you two, do you EVER listen in class? You're almost as bad as Sirius!"

Sirius, mouth stuffed with food, looked up. "Duhminersderchefme?" Everyone burst out laughing. Even I had to admit, it was pretty funny.

"That's disgusting, Sirius." Alice delicately stated when we were done laughing.

He carefully finished his mouthful and deliberately swallowed. "I said: Do mine ears deceive me?"

"Why?" Remus asked.

"I heard YOU tell HER she was almost better than ME at not listening." He scolded. "But we all know that NO ONE on the very planet we stand on, and quite possibly the very universe we live in, is better at not listening than me." He nodded.

"I reckon James could give you a run for your money, Black" I mumbled, seeing James in an almost trance. We watched as he pulled himself together and confronted the cause.

"Lily Evans." He stated with relish. "Go out with me?" His face was lit up with hope.

She rolled her eyes. "Never, Potter. You're so..."

"Stunningly handsome, astonishingly clever, and even rather humorous." He cut her off. Black chuckled at his best friend's failure.

"Arrogant."

"Hey mate!" He called from the other side, "That makes two of us!" He leaned across the table to give James a high five. He weakly returned it, looking a bit put out.

Black continued, "Goldy, here,"

"MY NAME IS JAYCEE!"

"Never passes an opportunity to remind me of my arrogance" he ignored my outburst.

I frowned, "you arrogant berk."

"See?" He pointed to me and nodded at James.

"You don't even deny it." I mumbled under my breath so only Remus could hear me. He snickered appreciatively.

Alice and Lily stood up. "Well," Alice said, "We're going to head off to class. There's only so much one can take of you lot this early in the morning." They linked arms and exited the great hall.

"Good." Peter muttered. "No one wanted you here anyway." This comment led to a round of high fives making Peter blush bright red. I had the feeling he probably wouldn't be friends with the three if he wasn't their dorm mate.

Potions isn't one of my favourite classes. By the end of a lesson, I've usually succeeded in melting a cauldron, blowing something up, or burning my partner's eyebrows off, which is a little unfortunate for poor Mary. Then again, she's not much better than I am. Slughorn must've put the two of us together to limit disasters in each group.

We have potions with the Slytherins, so of course the four boys, mainly James and Black, use the time shooting fireworks into cauldrons, messing with ingredients, and ultimately wreaking havoc. But Slughorn remains oblivious. He adores the two. They could probably get away with murder in his class. Lily and Remus are in the same boat. So is a Slytherin with long, greasy, black hair and a hooked nose called Severus who seems to be friends with Lily? They're partners for potions, leaving Alice to partner up with her cousin, Gwegnog Prewett.

"Today, class, we will be concocting the Cure for Boils. The ingredients and method," Slughorn strode to the blackboard and with one sweeping gesture to the board the ingredients list appeared, "Are on the board. You will have one lesson and I expect a sample vial of your completed potion each."

Mary and I looked at each other daring the other to say what we were both thinking.

"I'll prep the snake fangs, nettles, and porcupine quills" I grinned in feigned innocence.

"Oh that's so much to do though. Why don't I do those three? And then you can do the flobberworm mucus and the stewed slugs." She sweetly smiled back.

"Enough of this," I said, "I'll do the slugs nettles and quills. You do the mucus and fangs. They take longer" We nodded and headed off to the ingredients cupboard.

See, Mary and I had a method for potions class. We would prep all our ingredients first, dividing them in half once finished and then do the actual potion. We're usually the first two done if we can make it through a lesson without blowing something up. And that is a very rare occurrence.

60 sweaty minutes later our potions were done, in vials, and on Slughorn's desk. After congratulating ourselves for not killing anyone we joined up with the others and headed off to our very first flying lesson of the term.

I had been looking forward to this lesson, since we had first arrived at Hogwarts. And now, halfway through the semester, I was about to fly a broom. I wasn't the only one excited about today. James literally hadn't stopped talking about for it the past three months. We had gotten nothing but heroic stories about James zooming around on his dad's broom, saving defenceless muggles from certain death and the likes.

Mary had shared her finest moments on a broom with the rest of us as well. Black, despite coming from a family as "pure" as you could get -he honestly hadn't stopped complaining about what an awful family he came from and how everyone was judging him and blah blah blah- had never been on a broom. It was a sport deemed "unfit" in his parents' eyes. This didn't stop him from endless bragging about how good he was sure to be.

We stood in the crisp December air, watching our breath ascend and pulling our cloaks tighter around our bodies as we waiting for our teacher, _late_, to show up. I couldn't help but take a moment to appreciate how simply mystical the grounds looked covered in snow and the great lake frozen over with ice. My thoughtfulness was rudely interrupted by a wet, hard snowball to the side of the face.

"BLACK!" Merlin could he not remain calm for even a moment? Was it his chief goal in life to annoy me? Was he really that immature? But of course I had to retaliate. I packed some snow together and aimed at his air-filled, self-important head. Next thing I knew, I was surrounded by a flurry of snowballs coming from all direction as everyone joined in. I saw a line of brooms set out on a patch of grass where the snow had been melted behind us and ran over to grab one for a shield, but a shrill whistle sounded and we all hurriedly shuffled into a line, next to the broom of our choice. Madam Hooch had finally arrived. She paced back and forth in front of us.

"I will put that highly childish behaviour down to nerves," she smiled, her eyes crinkling, "When I blow my whistle, you will hold you dominant hand over your broom and confidently say 'UP!'" She gave a scrutinizing look as if sizing us up. "Brooms," she said, "can sense fear. If you are too weak in your command, you will get no response. Let's try it out." She blew her whistle and around me I heard my fellow Gryffindors and the Ravenclaws we had the class with shout, with varying degrees of confidence, UP.

James and Black proudly held their brooms. Everyone else was not doing so well. I look at my broom and narrowed my eyes, daring it to defy me.

"Up." I said firmly. It immediately sprung to my hand and I felt a kind of connection to it. It was strange, like when I had first held my wand.

"STOP!" Madam Hooch yelled. Brooms that had not obeyed were picked up manually, the offenders looking very bashful.

"Now that we all have our brooms," she glared at Peter, who had not picked his off the ground. After a moment he realized this comment was directed at him and clumsily picked his up too. "You will mount you broom like so and rise two or three, TWO OR THREE, feet into the air. Do not attempt to steer and then SLOWLY return to the ground." She demonstrated.

I flung my leg over my broom and felt it rise as if listening to my thoughts rather than grip. I looked at the tail, it was a Shooting Star. They were supposed to be really good. Not in the same league as the Nimbus 1000 of course, that being the latest and very fastest of all, but still good.

On the broom I felt a sense of security and freedom. I wanted to go higher. But despondently returned to the ground and dismounted. Not everyone had been so lucky. Lily was currently 20 feet in the air and still rising. She was white as a sheet and her knuckles were whiter still. She didn't utter a word, just silently mouthed desperate pleas for help. Madam Hooch was scolding James for disobeying her "direct orders" of not moving forward so hadn't yet noticed Lily's distress.

"Umm... Madam Hooch?" Alice pointed to Lily, but the teacher was issuing James with a detention.

Conveniently forgetting that I had never been on a broom before today and that the logical thing to do would be to just tell the teacher again I hopped back on my Shooting Star, oh so eager to feel that free and secure again, and pulled upwards.

The broom rose higher and higher and it grew steadily colder and colder. I had never felt better! I could see everything! The snap frozen air whipped through my already ruffled short hair blowing it into my eyes, but I could still sense where I was going. It was the most amazing feeling. I could hear Madam Hooch demanding I return to the ground immediately but "the wind was too loud to really hear properly." I reached Lily's level and grabbed the back of her broom. She lurched and screamed. My stomach dropped and suddenly I realized just how stupid I had been. What if we fell? Carefully, so carefully, I inched downwards, urging Lily to not let go. She nodded dumbly. A few heart-stopping minutes later we were both safely on the ground.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, AIGLEIGH?" Madam Hooch was red faced and spitting with rage.

"YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN BOTH OF YOU KILLED! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME!"

I looked at my feet, "I'm sorry, I didn't think properly." I mumbled to my shoes.

"DARN RIGHT YOU DIDN'T! You are suspended from flying for the next 3 lessons!"

What? NO! "Yes Madam Hooch."

I hung back and dragged my feet through the snow, taking my time to Herbology, on the other side of the gardens. Why did I have to go and do something like that? What good did it do? All because I wanted a few moments more in the air. And now I wouldn't be able to fly for 3 weeks!

"Um... Jaycee?" I heard Lily behind me.

Surprised, I replied, "Uh yeah?"

She must have sensed my astonishment because she giggled uncertainly.

"Look," she began, ". Thanks for helping me." She smiled tentatively.

It took me a while to decipher what she had just said but when I had I gave her the brightest smile I had and a big hug.

"It's not a big deal!" I gave her a friendly punch on the arm, "You weren't even that bad. I've seen worse, trust me." We continued on our way to Herbology, me with more of a spring in my step, glad that my act of stupidity had at least had one benefit. And as we were talking, I realized what a great sense of humour Lily had although she could be a bit girly and to be honest, a bit pathetic, at times. We were going to be good friends, I could just tell.

**Thanks so much to GreyHaru! It really made my day getting your reviews :) Also thanks to everyone who favorited/alerted/read. I hope you guys are liking it. As you can see I don't seem to be able to stick to weekly updates haha. I'll just do my best to post as soon as possible (most likely 3 days at the very very most until I run out of prewrittens, but don't worry, I have every intention of finishing this fanfic)**


	4. The Project

Ch 4 The Project _December_

"No."

"No Miss Aigleigh?"

"No. No. No. No. NO" My voice raised slightly with each 'no' until I was practically screeching. But this was an emergency.

"Please, professor, if Aigleigh doesn't want to partner up with me, I assure you I don't mind finding someone else. Really." He looked a little hopeful.

"Thank you for you... consideration... Mr. Black, but I think it would do you a world of good to be separated from James. And Miss Aigleigh, I think you would do well to learn, _I_ am teaching the lesson, not you, therefore _I_ pick the partnerships." McGonagall's eyes bore into mine, making me feel about two inches tall.

I scowled and grabbed a mouse from the cage at the front, our assignment.

Minutes previously, we had been told of a weeklong project where we were to, first, create a design for our mouse, research an assortment of transfiguration spells we would need, then, using the spells we had researched we had to "redesign" our mouse. At the end of the week we would be tested on how creative our mouse was and how many new spells we had used. But we had to do it with an assigned partner.

And I was with Sirius Black. So I was going to fail. Plus, I couldn't stand him, and by the sound of it I wasn't his favourite person either. Oh and this was our FINAL week before holidays. I mean, how cruel can you get?

I plonked myself down next to him and flung the mouse on the table.

"Here." I spat.

"Why so happy?" Black spat back, glowering at our mouse.

"Let's just get this done please." I grabbed some parchment and a quill.

"I want it to have red stripes." He snatched my parchment and quill and drew a bad drawing of a mouse; it looked a bit like a pig with a very long tail. Then he scribbled stripes over the back of the monstrosity.

"What is that supposed to be? And stripes? Really? Are we five?" I rolled my eyes and scrunched the parchment into a ball.

"OI! That was a work of art! And stripes are cool... everyone knows that"

"Merlin."

By the end of the lesson we had something on the page. We would be making the whiskers fluorescent, the ears would glow in the dark, the eyes would be that the mouse looked permanently hypnotized, and Black had persisted with his red stripes. We got our design approved by McGonagall, who was checking to make sure none of our spells would cause any grief to our mouse, and I walked off with Mary, he walked off with James.

I had survived the first day of what was going to be the most infuriating week of my life.

V V V V V V V V V V V

"BLACK! Would you _mind_ taking that quill off your lip and do some actual work for a change!" I slammed _A Beginner's Guide to Animal Transfiguration _shut. Black was balancing on the back legs of his chair with a quill precariously hovering on his top lip. He gave me a bored look, removed the quill and grabbed the first book on the table he could reach.

Opening to a random page, he stated blankly, "Spell for fluorescence 'aduro colosis.' Happy?" He banged the book back onto the table and resumed his previous position.

That was SO not fair. I had been looking for that spell for ages. The exact spell I needed was on the first page of the first book he picked. What are the odds! I was getting more and more frustrated as the evening progressed.

"Thanks..." I muttered. "Big help."

"It damn well was a big help! Just because you couldn't find the spell and I found it first try!" He pulled himself upright and scowled across the table.

"This isn't MY PROJECT! Put some actual effort or we are going to fail! Why do you think McGonagall assigned it for TWO? Because it's too hard for ONE!" I pushed my chair out and stood up with my hands on the table edge.

"Merlin's pant, calm down Aigleigh! You act like failing would be the end of the world!" He was standing now too.

"DO YOU WANT TO FAIL?"

"DO YOU WANT TO DIE FROM THE ENTRAIL-EXPELLING CURSE?"

"UHHHHH... NOT BLOODY PARTICULARLY!"

"EXACTLY! BUT IT WOULDN'T BE THE END OF THE WORLD!"

"YOU ARE SUCH AN ARROGANT, STUCK-UP, UNFEELING, BLACK! YOU'RE NO DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF YOUR SELF IMPORTANT FAMILY!"

"YOU'RE A GOLD-EYED, KNOW-IT-ALL, FREAK! YOU ARE THE MOST ABNORMAL PERSON I HAVE EVER HAD THE DISPLEASURE OF SPEAKING TO!"

"I'm not a freak. And I'm not abnormal." I spoke in a low, slightly shaky voice, hoarse from yelling. I was shocked by how well he could hone in on my biggest insecurities.

"I'm not unfeeling and I'm nothing like them." His voice was a bit shaky too. I was even more shocked realizing that I, too, knew the last thing he wanted to hear from anyone.

I looked around and realized the whole common room was looking at us. The 5th and 7th years, with intense disgust, as they were studying for O.W.L.s and N.E. preps. Blushing, upon this realization, I placed my parchment away and stacked my books.

"I'm going to bed." I grabbed the stack and stalked towards the girls' dormitory. For some reason, all I wanted to do was curl up into bed and cry. I couldn't help glancing back as I climbed the stairs. He was still standing, staring into the table with intensity even Dumbledore's piercing stare couldn't match. I wanted to both stab him with a knife and apologize for being so callous.

V V V V V V V V V V

The next few days we didn't speak at all. And I would have been quite happy with that arrangement if not for the fact that we had a project due in less than two days. The day before it was due I pulled him aside on the way back from Potions.

"Ok. I hate you, you hate me-" I began.

"Good job. Have a gold star." He cut in sarcastically.

"Would you please listen to me for ONE SECOND!" I pulled at my hair, at the end of my wits.

He crossed his arms, granting me a minute of silence. I breathed in slowly.

"As I was saying. I hate you. You hate me. We hate each other. BUT we do have an assignment due, the last time I checked, tomorrow. I don't particularly want to fail, and I very much doubt you do either. I know it wouldn't be "the end of the world" to fail, but it wouldn't be that bad passing either. So... can we please just finish this thing and then it would honestly make my year if you stopped talking to me again." Phew. That was a mouthful.

He looked away. "Fine, whatever. We'll go to the library at lunch and catch up on work. Plus," here he smirked, "you can't start a yelling match in the library."

**Kind of a short chapter... I knoooow. So I thought I'd put both of these up together. Thanks again for reading etc :) I really really do love reviews so pleeeeeeaaaaaaaase could you click that 'review' button? You know you want to :D**


	5. The Holiday Spirit

Ch 5 The Holiday Spirit _December_

I stood on the Muggle side of the barrier of Platform 9 ¾, hugging my roommates like there was no tomorrow. We were going home for Christmas and I sure was going to miss them. In the past few weeks Lily and I become a lot closer. She could still be a moody cow at times, but she was getting better. Alice too, had become warmer once Lily had broken ranks. Mary was still my best girl friend, where Remus would always be my absolute best friend.

"Never let go, Jack!" Lily shrieked.

"I won't, Rose!" I yelled back. We laughed together, leaving the others, purebloods, in utter confusion. I extricated myself from their grip and explained what _Titanic_ was.

"Sounds a bit stupid to me," Alice drily put.

"YES!" I fist pumped the air. "_Finally_ someone else who can't stand all that romantic, good looking blond guy meets better looking girl love story rubbish!" I engulfed her in a thankful hug.

"What's this about good looking blonde guys?" Remus, dramatically whipping his hair out of his eyes, chimed into our conversation.

"REMUS!" I ran up to him and choked him in my eagerness to say hello. He had sat with the other boys on the train, and I, point blank, refused to sit anywhere near Sirius Black.

"JAAAACEE!" He replied with enthusiasm, giving me an equally choking bear hug.

"I'm going to miss you, you nutter," I fake sniffed.

"Oh Jaycee! Woe is me! What will I do without my beloved friend" He pretended to wipe a tear.

"Write?" We said at the same time then laughed.

"Every day if you want, Rem."

"I don't think I'm ready for that kind of commitment, Jace." He frowned.

"Oh. I see. I suppose... we're just going to... have to..." I broke down into fake sobs, "end it! If... that's the way you feel!"

"I knew this was coming for a while." He said seriously.

Laughing, we hugged again, this time less murderously and more friendly.

"BYE ALL!" I shouted to Mary, Lily, Alice, and Remus on my way to the car park. They sent me kisses, goodbyes and promises to write.

Still smiling, I approached our well-polished, black, Lotus Elite- the pride and joy of my father. In the back seat I could see Emily fumbling with the car door. I ran as fast as I could. She managed to get it open and ran towards me. I started to hum Chariots of Fire loudly as I ran and she joined in. We collided with an almighty crash in the middle of the car park, laughing until tears ran down our cheeks. I twirled her in the air like I had when we said goodbye.

"I MISSED you so much, Em!" I squeezed her tightly in my arms, walking towards the car.

"I missed you more." She mumbled, head buried in my shoulder again.

"As IF!" I tickled the backs of her knees with my free hand and she squealed loudly.

When we got to the car I safely strapped her into her seat and hopped in the other side, immediately more subdued. Our cheerful mood vanished as fast as lightning.

I could see my father's stern face in the rear-view mirror, and my mother's nervous one next to him.

"There was absolutely no need to make such a spectacle of yourself, girl." He started the car, glaring at me in the mirror.

"Hello to you too, dad." I whispered under my breath. Emily placed her small hand in mine. We sat like that, in absolute silence for the duration of the trip.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V

"Home sweet home" I sighed, sitting on my window seat. A long time ago, I must have been only four or five, I decided what I needed most of all was a seat to sit on next to the window. I love my window. It reaches from the ceiling to the floor and sticks out of the house, giving my room an almost pentagon shape. I had found a large, flat trunk to place right in front of it, covered in blankets, quilts, duvets, and all the pillows I could get my hands on. I could see all of England from there, I used to think. Only now, after a semester at Hogwarts, do I realize how limited my sight had really been.

I heard the door softly open, muffled by the carpet. It was Mum. She had tears in her eyes. Looking behind her, she closed the door and opened her arms. I felt so desperately hollow inside whenever I looked at her. It was an awful feeling. I felt both angry that she couldn't stand up to my father, and terrible that she was so frightened of him she wouldn't even tell him that, actually, she did care about me.

I swallowed my emotions and embraced her tightly. But it just felt so... fake. I didn't even know this woman. Where was she when I ever needed her? When I was "dumped" by my primary school best friend? Whenever my father shouted? When Emily had fallen from the tree in the back garden and I was the only one around? Three years ago. It was the most terrifying day of my life. It was then my eyes had glowed with golden light for the first time. I was so scared. But somehow, instinctively, I had known what to do. I saved Emily's life that day. The light from my eyes had closed her wounds in mere seconds. Where was my mother when I, keeled over from exhaustion, was mercilessly yelled at for doing something my father could not understand. Something worse than usual. It was that awful time that he hit me. Where was she then? Cowering in a corner. Afraid. Too afraid to defy him. Too afraid to hold me and tell me everything would be alright. It wasn't fair. Why should I have to be there for her whenever she wanted me?

But I had long ago learned that life's not fair. It's easier for everyone to just grin and bear it.

I heard her breath heavily as I let her go. She placed a cold hand on my cheek.

"You've changed so much." She whispered and left me alone again.

I thought about this. I supposed I had changed a little. Last time she saw me I was a puny 11 year old. Now I was 12. I looked at the lines marking my grown on the back of the door and saw that I had grown a whopping 2 inches in only 6 months. And I was starting to "develop" a little. I guess I was growing. She was just going to have to get used to that. I sure was going to change a lot in the next 6 and a half years. Too bad for her if she was missing out. It's not like she seemed all that interested in my first 11 years.

I thought about that time three years ago. I had always been different. Even as a newborn, born with bright gold eyes, rather than deep blue like all the other babies. At 3 I was terrified of water and managed to drain the community pool when my parents first decided to give me swimming lessons. At 5 I had levitated my mother's special chocolate cake over to my father's head. From then on weird things happened on a weekly basis.

But when I was 8. When I produced that light from my eyes. I began to realize I wasn't just a freak... I was special. My "powers" weren't bad. They were good. They saved the person I loved most in the world from certain death. But using the light had drained me of all the energy I possessed. I used it three more times between then and starting Hogwarts. I didn't like using it and I still don't. I'm terrified that if I use it for a little too long I may drain away all the energy I possess in my body.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V V

Christmas was an uptight event. I felt as if I were holding my breath the entire night. Friends and family came from all over to celebrate the holiday at the annual Christmas party my parents held. A night of being told I had "grown" and how "pretty" I was becoming. That I looked "just like my mother" and asked "what did you get for Christmas?"

Like I was going to tell them I got a toy sneakoscope and wizard's chess set from Remus, a locket where the picture inside magically faded between 10 of Mary and me from, guess who... Mary, and a box of Chocolate Frogs from Lily and Alice. Yeah right.

After an excruciating dinner, I excused myself and Emily, claiming we needed to get ready for bed as it was already 8:30. Wow... so late... but anything to escape another few hours of my father's glares, daring me to put one toe out of line.

I told Emily to change into her pyjamas, and then come to my room so I could teach her Wizard's Chess.

"It's just like normal chess," I patiently explained, "only the pieces can talk and move by themselves."

"I like this one." She picked up one of the pawns, who struggled to rejoin his army. "I'm going to call him, Harrison."

"Harrison? Call him Harry. That's _my_ favourite boy's name."

"Ok," she readily agreed, "You are now, Harry!" She told the pawn. He didn't look too pleased.

Once she got tired, I pulled her up onto my bed, tucked myself under the covers next to her and told her all about Hogwarts. I didn't stop talking until I heard her breathing become steady and slow. I kissed her forehead and snuggled next to her.

All in all, we spent a much quieter, more loving, Christmas night than we would've if we had stayed downstairs.

**This is so exciting! People are actually reading my story! I can hardly believe it! But please oh please oh please tell me what you think. I'd really love to here from you. All reviews are welcome. I don't care if you only say "uggawugga" or something :P**


	6. The Meeting

Ch 6 The Meeting _February_

It was the second month of being back at school during breakfast when I received my first scroll, tied with a red ribbon. The ceiling was overcast, gray and gloomy, usual weather for February. I was sitting in the usual spot with the usual people. Remus wasn't there though. He was sick again. In fact, he was sick so much, we all joked that he must have bubble-boy disease.

The usual swarm of owls swooping into the great hall, greeted with the usual sounds of excitement as kids received letters or gifts from home.

"YES!" James shouted, glancing sideways at Lily to make sure she had noticed him. Lily, however, was far too engrossed in reading the Daily Prophet with Alice to pay much attention to "Putrid Potter" as she affectionately called him.

"What, mate?" Black leaned across the table, dragging his sleeve through his runny egg. I huffed with disgust. Mary rolled her eyes. Peter delicately removed the plate from under the offending sleeve.

"Oh, nothing really, just my Mum sending a letter telling me Dad bought TICKETS TO NEXT YEAR'S WORLD CUP!" He clapped excitedly and Black joined in.

"NO WAY!"

"YES WAY! WE'RE GOING TO THE CUP! PETE, GET A LITTLE MORE EXCITED THAN THAT!"

"I AM excited!"

"GOOOOOD!"

I looked at Mary.

"Boys and their Quidditch" She stated with impatience.

"Tell me about it. I don't get what's so great about the game anyway" I shrugged.

This comment led to a barrage of explanations to why Quidditch is _the_ single most amazing game to ever exist. Their onslaught was interrupted by a large, black owl swooping down beside me with a neatly rolled scroll tied to its leg.

"What's this about?" I wondered aloud.

"I know what that is." Lily breathed. "It's a message from Dumbledore."

"Why's Goldy getting messages from Dumbledore? Secret love affair, hmm?" Black scoffed.

"Shut up, Black, just because I'm not having a secret love affair with you." This had the desired effect of Black scowling at me and then actually being quiet for a change.

I unrolled the small piece of parchment.

"What does it say?" Alice leaned across Lily to read.

_Miss Aigleigh, _

_I apologize for taking so long to send this, but it is of the utmost importance you come to my office this evening at 8 o'clock sharp. _

_Prof. Dumbledore_

_PS I have a slight obsession with skittles_

"He has a slight obsession with skittles?" Mary looked perplexed.

"Who has a slight obsession with skittles?" Peter asked.

"Goldy's lover"

"Jaycee has a boyfriend?"

"No Peter."

Peter looked very confused.

"Why does he want to see you?" Lily asked.

"Who wants to see her?" James looked directly at Lily.

"Dumbledore! Weren't you listening?" Alice exasperatedly said.

"Why did he say that about the skittles?" Mary prodded again.

"I don't know!" I said, slightly frustrated with all these questions. I shoved the letter in my robe pocket and stabbed my sausage. Why _did_ Dumbledore want to see me? I don't think I've done anything wrong. Maybe he heard about the broom incident from last term! But why would he bring it up now? Maybe something happened to Emily! Oh Merlin, please no. And why on earth did he mention skittles? The head never failed to bemuse me.

All this pondering was turning me off my breakfast.

"I'm going to go visit Remus." I stated.

V V V V V V V V V V V V

Madam Pomfrey reluctantly let me in for "five minutes only!" It was nice and quiet in the hospital wing. Somehow my panicked thoughts never managed to penetrate the walls of this place. I wonder if that was some kind of magic, or just the serene atmosphere.

I saw a lump in the bed by the corner.

"Rem? That you?"

The lump mumbled something incomprehensible. I peeked under the blankets to make sure it was actually him and sat down on the chair by the bed. He looked a bit peaky, definitely pale.

"Hey Jace" his cracked lips stretched into a smile.

"Hey Remus. You feeling any better? Usually it's just a 24 hour bug, right?"

"You could... say that."

"Well what is it then?"

"A 24 hour bug... probably."

"Hmmm... Why do I get the feeling there's something you aren't telling me?" I narrowed my eyes and he looked a little guilty.

"Look Jace, I'll be fine in a couple of days, honest. Don't be late to class for me, ok?"

I sighed. "Ok. I'll come back tonight."

"Uhh... you d-don't have t-to do that. Really." He stammered.

I raised my hands in defence, "Whoa whoa, alright. Don't get your knickers in a twist. I won't. But I am bloody well coming back in the morning, do you hear me?"

He smiled, relieved, "Ok, see you tomorrow, Jace"

"See ya, Remy"

Madam Pomfrey bustled in, shooing me with her hands.

"You've had _ten_ minutes now! Get to class. This boy needs rest!"

"I was just going," I nodded towards the door.

I slowly walked to History of Magic, taking my sweet time. With every step further away from the hospital wing, I grew more and more anxious and worried. My thoughts were stampeding around in my head, fit to bust. Why was Remus lying to me? Why didn't he want me to visit tonight? What had happened that Dumbledore needed to see me? What was going on?

I decided that tomorrow I was going to march straight up to Remus and DEMAND an answer. And I told myself that it was pointless worrying about Dumbledore, I would know by tonight anyway.

Feeling a little calmer, I entered the History of Magic classroom, interrupting our only ghost teacher, Professor Binns, in mid sentence. Apparently he had died in his sleep one night in the teachers' lounge and got up like usual, but now a ghost, to continue teaching. I glanced around the room. Lily was furiously scribbling notes in the brief pause of Binns' non-stop flow of information, Alice was staring, bored out of her mind, at a lighting fixture, Mary was practicing her origami, something she had just learned in Muggle Studies and was obsessed with, James, Black and Peter were playing exploding snap at the back of the room and apart from a few very studious Hufflepuffs, there was not much activity from that side of the room either.

Binns blinked, as if he were coming out of a trance. He looked around, slightly confused. I don't think he realized he was teaching half the time.

"Yes Miss... Aggle?" He questioned.

"Aigleigh. Sorry I was late, I was seeing my friend at the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey told me it didn't matter that I was a bit late because I had to help her prep the skele-grow." I crossed my fingers behind my back.

"Alright Miss Aglee, find a seat and try to catch up what you've missed. Now the Goblin rebellion of 1397 was led by Bogrode the Brave and his..."

I hurried to my seat next to Mary. "Hey, what'd I miss?"

"Nothing. Really. Nothing at all." She looked at the ceiling and sighed deeply.

I buried my face in my arms. Maybe I'd be able to get a bit of sleep...

V V V V V V V V V V V

At 8pm sharp I stood outside the head's office. There were two gargoyles blocking the entrance.

"Um... Hi... I'm Jaycee Aigleigh. Did Dumbledore tell you I was coming?"

"Password." One of them said in a raspy voice.

"Uh he didn't tell me there was a password?"

"Password."

I knitted my eyebrows. What could the password be? After a few moments of thought, my face cleared. Of course!

"Skittles." I said confidently.

The gargoyles moved aside to reveal a winding stairway. Once I reached the top I knocked loudly on the polished oak door.

"Come in" I heard from inside. I wiped my sweaty hands on my robes and turned the golden doorknob.

"Good evening, Jaycee. Why don't you take a seat." Dumbledore smiled, his glasses twinkled in the light.

"Good evening, Professor." I sat on one of the chairs in front of his desk. The circular room was filled with pictures of all the previous heads of Hogwarts, moving of course. I still hadn't gotten used to that. There were silver instruments glittering and humming on every shelf, a marble basin filled with what may have been either gas or liquid, and the patched up sorting hat sitting in pride of place above the mahogany desk. The Hogwarts crest was engraved on the wall behind the desk.

"I'm sure you are wondering why I've called you in." Dumbledore began.

"I uh..."

"No no. Let me talk first. Then you can talk to your heart's content."

I nodded, pretending to zip my mouth shut.

"Jaycee. I didn't want to burden you with this information just yet. I have been arguing with myself for the whole time you've been at school. However, I have finally decided that it is your right to know and that understanding now will help you in the future. All I can say is I am sorry for not telling you sooner." He bowed his head.

I was starting to freak out a little.

"I'm sure you've already begun to realize you are not like your other classmates. To begin with, your golden eyes."

The second he said this, I knew exactly where this conversation was going. I was finally going to find out what happed that day three years ago.

"You also may have noticed how easily spells and incantations come to you. Professor Elmwood informs me you have already begun to work on nonverbal spells?"

I nodded again, blushing slightly.

"Very impressive, Jaycee. Very impressive indeed." He smiled. "You are far ahead of the rest of your class in spells, definitely. Especially in... defensive magic. Have you noticed that? Now I saw by your expression that you knew exactly to what I was referring when I mentioned your eyes." He looked at me questioningly.

"Yes Professor Dumbledore, you see..." I bit my lip, not particularly wanting to continue.

"Go on" He urged, "It is of the utmost importance I hear everything you know."

I sighed. "Well, it happened three years ago, when my little sister fell out of a tree and broke her neck." I told him everything. From when I first heard her scream, to when my eyes started to glow and light shone from them. A light that healed her when it touched her wounds. And I told him how weak I had felt when I was done. He nodded every now and then, narrowing his eyes with intrigue.

"Has this ever happened since?"

"Yes. Three other times. Once when my f-... someone hurt my mother, once when an old lady was hit by a car in a hit and run, and once when I fell down the stairs."

"You are very special, Jaycee. You are what is called a Vigorater."

"A what?" I exclaimed.

"Vigoraters are very rare and most usually are born into pure blood families. The only other I have ever heard of was Rowena Ravenclaw. She is known for her golden eyes. Not many people are aware that she was not really a witch at all."

"Wait." My voice rose slightly. "Not really a witch? WHAT is that supposed to mean?"

Dumbledore looked slightly aggrieved. "Shhh Jaycee, calm yourself... The ministry declared Vigoraters as 'half-breeds' many centuries ago."

"So I'm not... human?" My heart sank. I wasn't human. I was... Merlin knows what.

"Jaycee, I don't believe what the ministry declares is human or not human accurate. It's what you do that makes you human. So no, according to the wizarding world, you are not human, I am so sorry. But to me and to you and to everyone who knows you, you are very human."

I felt tears spring to my eyes. "What does this mean? Can I ever get a job? Will I ever have a family?"

"Of course, dear." His blue eyes alight with sympathy. "The only reason the ministry put your kind on the 'half-breed' list was because they were afraid."

"Afraid? Shouldn't they be over the moon about something that can heal anything they need healed?"

He closed his eyes. "You have already told me that using this light makes you feel weak. This is because you are transforming your very life-force, your energy or soul, into a healing light. Use it for too long and you will drain everything you have away, and fall asleep."

This is exactly what I had feared.

"That's not all though. You are channelling your energy into someone else's body. A little at a time, the soul can handle. But this is deep magic and too much of another's soul with cause the brain to... shut down, as such. The soul cannot handle too much of another's soul. This is why the ministry is afraid of Vigoraters. Because they are under the impression you could be moulded into a brain-killing weapon." He said the last part through clenched teeth.

I didn't hear a word he said. I felt a small part of me die. The last normal part of me.

We sat in silence for a few moments.

"Oh my, it is getting late." Dumbledore looked at his watch which had something like 12 hands and stars floating around the edge. "You'd better be on your way or McGonagall will be after my blood."

"Good night, professor," I weakly smiled, heading for the door.

"Do not be surprised if I call you up here in the near future. We have a lot to discuss, Jaycee. But for now... Sleep well." He was smiling, but there was something in his eyes that I couldn't quite fathom.

Walking back to the dorms, I caught sight of myself in a mirror mounted on a hallway wall. What was I? Was this a gift? Was it a curse? Piercing gold eyes. Eyes that weren't human.

**Just for anyone who doesn't know, bubble boy disease is SCID, when the immune system is so weak pretty much everything makes you sick. Thanks SO much to the people who reviewed! I was soooooo happy when I got them. However, more would be nice too :D Also, over 300 hits! WOW! I can hardly believe it! Thanks guys! **

**Rosie: I was always interested in Healers too, but you probably guessed that lol. Thanks for telling me about the amateur thing :) I'll work on it. But thanks for the review and I'm glad you liked it **

**rogue4ever: Thanks so much! 3**

**GreyHaru: I love you! You always review! It makes me a very happy fanfic writer XD **


	7. The Special One

**Disclaimer: (I always forget to do this. Let's just say this'll be a disclaimer for the whole thing.) Though I love Harry Potter with my whole heart and despite my wildest dreams I have never and will never own it. :'(**

Ch 7 The Special One _June_

Weeks turned to months. Meetings with Dumbledore persisted. He wanted to help me 'understand' what I was and what I could do. I didn't want to know. Each meeting made me feel worse. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw were both favourites to win the Quidditch cup. Remus was in and out of the Hospital Wing. James fell more and more "in love" with Lily as the months persisted. Black was just as annoying as usual. Malfoy and co had taken to hexing me whenever they could, I was wary around corners. Lessons grew more and more intense as exams grew near. Homework loads grew too. But it was like I wasn't even there. I flew through my revision and homework. I knew my grades were steadily dropping because I wasn't even trying. I just... didn't care anymore. I wasn't human. Nothing I could do would make me human. I was a half-breed. A feared one too.

Mary knew something was up, but Dumbledore advised me not to tell _anyone_, just in case. I told her I was feeling "under the weather." But I had been telling her that for months. I didn't smile much. Or talk to anyone besides Remus and Mary. Sometimes Lily. She was a good person to be around because she didn't ask questions. She just sat there. Not like Remus' silences. He was the same. He never asked questions and sat quietly. But it was almost as if he was waiting for me to start talking. Like if he sat quietly for long enough I would tell him what was wrong. Lily just got on with whatever she was doing. And Mary asked an endless stream of questions. But after a few months, I found they had stopped bothering to question me as I slipped further and further away.

It was Black actually, who finally managed to get me on track again.

V V V V V V V V V V

"Hey Goldy, what's cooking?" He sat opposite me at the table in the common room. I flinched when he called me that.

"Go away, Black." My voice cracked. He put his feet on the table.

"Oh I see how it is. You think being miserable is going to make whatever's bugging you go away. Hmm?" He was really starting to get on my nerves.

"Damn it, shut up." I hit the table with so much force I sent my quill flying.

"I don't think I want to though." He frowned when I didn't reply. Tears were quickly forming in my eyes and I was not about to give him the satisfaction of letting him see them. He huffed and continued speaking.

"Nothing's the end of the world you know. What doesn't kill ya only makes ya stronger. You just have to move the hell on..." He paused. "I guess you're different though. The whole world's allowed to stop whenever something goes wrong in the life of Jaycee Aigleigh."

"I'm allowed to be miserable if I want to, Black."

"Yeah... whatever. Enough is enough. Get over yourself, Goldy. You're not that special. Plus you're no fun to annoy when you don't say anything back." With that he got up and headed over to James, Remus and Peter who had just walked down the boys' staircase.

I was fuming. Who the hell did he think he was? That's the problem. I _am_ special. I don't want to be. I wish I could be normal for a change, but I can't do anything about it.

The longer I sat, though, the less mad I became. Red anger bleached to calm white.

Maybe he was right? Who the hell did I think _I_ was? Moping around like I'm the only one with issues. The more I thought about it, the more I wondered why anyone was still even making an effort. I wasn't that special. Black was... right. I though how strange those three words sounded together. But I guess he was.

I looked towards the group, sitting in the chairs by the fire. They wouldn't care I wasn't human according to the ministry. It wasn't going to change anything about who I was. Just what I was called.

I took a deep breath and walked over to them.

"Hey guys" I smiled. "Mind if I join you?" They froze for a few awkward seconds, not sure if this was really happening. Mary broke the tension. I could always count on her.

"JACE!" She ran up to me and gave me a bone-crushing hug.

"Does this mean you're back?" Remus asked with a hopeful expression.

"Yeah... someone knocked some sense into me."I glanced at Black who was grinning evilly.

"Now that you're normal again... well... as normal as _you_ can be..." he started. I pulled a tongue. "Expect me to be more annoying than ever. We have a lot to catch up on" I really did hate that boy. Especially now that he had actually helped me.

Peter grinned. "We missed you, Jaycee."

"Yeah... sorry... I was a being dumb."

"Dumb... the understatement of the century..." James said under his breath. I decided not to react to that one. It was true. I had wasted a good few months... for what?

"Will we ever get to know what it was about?" Alice enquired. I looked down. _No_ I thought.

"Maybe one day."

Lily smiled and squeezed my hand as I sat on the couch next to her. I squeezed hers back. That one small gesture of friendship brought it all back to earth for me for good. These people were my friends and cared about me. Not what some stupid ministry said about me.

V V V V V V V V V V V

"I'm not ready!"

"You'll be fine..."

"No. I. Won't."

"Hunny, have you SEEN your grades?"

"You're even better than me and that's something. Actually you know what something would be?"

"Do I want to know?"

"Going out with me" James grinned. Lily tutted.

"I am HAVING a crisis here. Try not to be you for a little while."

Alice, Mary, James and I had spent the past 30 minutes prepping Lily for the DADA practical. She studied the most and hardest of all of us, yet was the most concerned.

Professor Elmwood called us in one at a time. He got to my name and I couldn't help but gulp. I hadn't listened in class at all for the past semester and Dumbledore was going to be so disappointed if I failed.

"Right. Aigleigh, this is going to be blindingly simple for you. Please cast a shield charm and attempt to block my jelly legs jinx."

I did as was told and preformed such a strong shield charm I caused the professor to stumble slightly.

"Very good. Very good. Now, to the best of your abilities, remove the wand of this dummy."

Before he finished speaking the dummy's wand was in my hand. A grin spread across his face.

"Excellent." We did a few more basic defensive spells. It was really, quite boring.

"Right. I shouldn't be telling you this, but for a guaranteed 'O' let's see you cast a nonverbal of your choice."

Finally, something good! I mustered up my strength and thought with all my might _flipendo!_

Professor Elmwood flew backwards and landed on the pile of cushions in the corner of the room used to practice "stupefy" with.

He got up surprised, brushing himself off, and clapped. "Fantastic! That was amazing! Excellent work, Aigleigh you may go. Send in Black will you, I believe he's next."

It was a sense of relief being done with exams. Tomorrow was the end of year feast and then I would be returning home. Alice had invited Lily, Mary and me over to stay for the last week. I couldn't wait.

On my way out of the classroom, I tried to resist a smug smile, but found it impossible. I believed I had just achieved an 'O' in the last exam of the year.

**Not one of my better ones, I know :/ Thanks for reading even though. Please leave a review! *hopeful expession***

**HorcruxesandHallows: Thanks for reading and reviewing XD Hmm... that's a little awkies for me lol. Oh well, thanks for letting me know :) Haha my friends and I do that too! **

**GreyHaru: Thanks for another lovely review :D **


	8. The Growing Up of Emily

Ch 8 The Growing up of Emily _August_

It was hot. It had been raining all holidays and for the first time it was a hot, sticky summer day. So I took this chance to get out of our big, constricting house and walked down to the park with Emily.

The second we got there Emily shot off to play on the swings. I was secretly wishing I could have a go too, but in a week I would be a second year. So instead I sat on the bench near the large lake in the middle of the grassy area, reminiscing about the Great Lake at Hogwarts. Alice had sent a letter yesterday reminding me that all of us girls were heading over to hers tomorrow. I felt a bit bad about leaving Emily a week earlier than planned, but I hated living with my parents. Anytime away was perfectly fine with me.

"JAYCEE!" Emily hollered from the playground. "COME PUSH ME!" I left my bench and headed over to her with a smile. Tomorrow I was leaving for another 6 months. I wanted to spend the last few hours with my favourite family member.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V

"Got everything?" Emily sat on my bed swinging her legs.

"I think so?" I gave the room one last check to make sure I had everything I'd need.

She hopped off the bed and hugged me around the waist. "Have fun and come back!"

"Hmmm..." I pretended to ponder, "Nah don't think I'm going to come back." I chuckled, showing her I was just joking.

"Don't kid. One day you might not." She said seriously. I tilted my head to the side. She was wise for her years.

"JAYCEE there's a girl here for you!" My father yelled from the top of the stairs.

Emily grabbed my hand and we walked down together.

"Bye hun" I kissed the top of her head. I looked past my father's hard expression to my mother, peering from behind the kitchen door. She waved and quickly disappeared behind it. I sighed. Bye Mum. See you in December.

Alice stood brightly by the front door.

"Ready to go?" She grinned.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I lugged my bags over and we pulled them down the front steps together.

"Bye Em," I waved. She gave me a sad smile and scurried up the stairs. One day I was going to come home and she was going to be all grown up.

"Lily and Mary are already at mine. Dad thought it would be best if we got you the muggle way. We didn't want to scare off your family." Alice nattered, oblivious.

"Yeah that was probably a good idea actually" I said darkly. We loaded the bags in her parents' car and set on our way to Alice's.

"Hello, I'm Quentin, Alice's dad. Nice to meet you, Jaycee. Alice and the girls have told me a lot about you" He smiled warmly from the front seat.

"Hi Mr. Prewett, nice to meet you too." I replied politely. He seemed really friendly. I was thinking I was going to like staying at Alice's for the week.

V V V V V V V V V V V

"JAYCEE!" Lily and Mary raced out of the door of Alice's tiny home.

"HEY GUYS!" I yelled from the top of the driveway, leaning out the window. Alice's dad chuckled.

"Do you two want to get out here?" He said. We were out faster than a lightning bolt. Alice's garden was huge, though her house was much smaller. There were all sorts of strange things growing in the garden that I had never seen before. Since we had driven out from the middle of the city to pretty much the middle of nowhere, it was now edging on 7. A sure sign that the summer was over were the orange sunrays reflected off Alice's roof. A final show of light for the day.

I was engulfed in a group hug. Drowning in love my teeth started chattering.

"Are you cold?" Mary asked, concerned.

"Huh?" Lily said, "It's like 19 degrees!"

"I'm fine guys, honestly." I replied as we all headed down the drive to the front door.

Standing there was a smiling woman who looked identical to Alice and wearing an apron.

"You must be Jaycee" She shook my hand."I sure hope you're a little quieter than the other three." She winked at me. I couldn't help but grin.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Mu-uu-m." Her mother playfully hit her over the head with a dishtowel tucked into her apron.

"Oh come on, Mrs. Prewett. Me? Loud? You have to be joking!" Lily complained. Alice's mum smiled and shook her head.

"Jaycee you and the other three can put your bags up in Alice's room and then we'll be eating. Is that alright with you?"

"Sounds perfect" I couldn't stop smiling. I already loved Alice's parents.

"Come on, Jace!" Alice bounded up the stairs, Lily and Mary hot on her heels.

We rushed down the corridor to the door at the end.

"Welcome," Alice opened the door to her room slowly, "to my room" Mary winked suggestively. Lily hit her around the head.

"OI! You think you're tougher than me, Evans?" Mary ran through into Alice's room and hopped on her double bed.

"I'm definitely tougher than you!" Lily grabbed one of Mary's skinny ankles causing her to fall on top of the redhead.

"OW!" Lily howled. "MACDONALD! I'm going to get you!" She hopped up and chased Mary back down the stairs.

"You can put your stuff here" Alice pointed to the end of the bed. I dumped my bags and we ran down the stairs after the other two.

"I smell ROAST!" Alice yelled excitedly, sliding down the banister.

Lily and Mary were setting the big table next to the kitchen. Mrs. Prewett was bustling around passing things to Mr. Prewett, huffing and puffing affectionately when he looked confused to why he was holding a vegetable strainer.

I was already happier here than I had been in a long time.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V

We had been shopping for second year supplies all morning and Mrs. Prewett decided that we deserved a break. On the way to Florean Fortescue's, I noticed the four boys across the road, gazing longingly into Quality Quidditch Supply's shop window.

"Hey mate, it's your one true love." I heard Sirius' voice from all the way across the road.

"WHERE?" James, panic-stricken, awoke from his daze and attempted to smooth down his unruly hair.

"Right here," I dragged a very disgruntled Lily across to them.

"Jace, don't you dare..." She growled.

"HERE SHE IS, JAMES!" I crowed watching his eyes light up upon seeing her.

Mary and Alice were giggling behind us.

"Hey Remus, James, Peter" I grinned at the three. "Hello Black..."

"HI GOLDY!" He squeezed the air out of my lungs.

"LET- ME- GO!" I managed to get out. He released me, finally.

"NEVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!" I yelled. He just smirked. I wanted to punch him.

"Lily. Here are the reasons why going out with me would benefit you. One, I am unbelievably handsome," he winked, "Two I am-"

"Potter, just shut up." Lily shook her head with disbelief. She turned to me. "And you thought **I **was bad last year!"

"Lily, dahhhhling" I drawled. "You were neeevvehhhh that bad"

Peter looked at me like I was something that should belong in a mental institution.

"So where are your parents?" Mary looking around asked.

"My dad's up at Ollivander's having a chat. They're good friends, he claims. We took a break from getting our stuff to come look at the new, super fast broom that's just come out." Remus excitedly turned back to the display window.

"It's a Nimbus 1500!" Sirius pointed to a sleek silver broom in the shop window. "Fastest broom ever according to Quidditch Herald. The Wilbourne Wasps put in an order for 15 of these babies just last week. They're the new favourites to win the cup and..."

"When you talk about Quidditch... all I hear is _blah blah blah blah_" I interrupted his excited babble. The girls giggled.

"We will convert you yet!" James shook his fist at me.

"Well..." Alice looked at her mother, waiting patiently on the other side of the street. "We'd better get going. Nice seeing you though."

We exchanged goodbyes and rejoined Alice's mother.

"They seemed nice." She said to her daughter. "And nice looking too"

"MUM!" Alice gasped. We all doubled over laughing.

We discussed the coming beginning of term over glorious ice-creams scooped high. Lily had drawn up a study planner at the beginning of the holidays and suggested all of us stick by it, religiously. I told her that there was no way, for the love of Merlin's left boot, that I would ever follow a study plan. She told me I was going to fail.

**Again, I know, not the best, but I had to get through the summer. The next two are kind of short so I'll be uploading them together. What do you guys think? Are they too short? Should I make the chapters longer? Reeeeviiiiewwwww :) Even when I'm having an awful day getting a review makes me so very happy :)**


	9. The Warning

Ch 9 The Warning _September_

After a long ride on my favourite red train I settled down at the Gryffindor table with my friends... and Black. There was no escaping his presence.

"JAMES! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Lily scolded.

"But, Petal!" James pleaded.

"NO!" James was hit with a jet of water, courtesy of Lily. Yes, it was good to be back.

The cacophony of voices sounded in my ears. Laughter echoed through the hall.

Dumbledore stood at the front of the hall and cleared his throat. At once silence reverberated from the walls.

"Thank you." He smiled softly. "Let us begin the sorting."

The hat opened its mouth and began to sing. It was a tune quite similar to last year's only the warning of danger to the castle seemed much nearer than merely "an outside force."

"Does it sing a different song every year?" Peter whispered loudly.

"SHHHH" We all shushed him apart from Mary, who nodded and then placed a finger to her lips.

The little first years were quickly sorted into houses. I clapped loudly as we received 8 new Gryffindors.

"Thank you. Before we begin the feast I would like to say a few words. If you value your life, I encourage you to listen carefully."

This comment led to an outbreak of concerned mumbling.

"Is he being serious?" Alice whispered to Lily. She shrugged her shoulders.

"The school has recently planted a Whomping Willow near the greenhouses. I implore you to avoid this tree at all costs. Now on a lighter note, I would like to welcome two new teachers to the staff this year. Unfortunately Professor Elmwood, our Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, was involved in an accident over the holidays and Professor Uwick will be taking over. Also our Muggle studies professor has retired after a 50 year old career. Professor Burbage has taken the position. Let us welcome these new members to our staff."

We all applauded politely.

"Now. I believe it is time to begin our feast." The plates filled themselves with the same delicious food I remembered from last year.

I had watched Remus, sitting opposite me, throughout Dumbledore's warning. He was looking into his lap, biting his lip. I rapped on the table in front of him until he looked up and raised an eyebrow at him.

"What's up, buttercup?" I asked.

"Nothing? Why?" He piled his plate with potato salad and chicken.

"No reason... you looked kinda... interesting."

"I looked... interesting?"

"Yeah... never mind." I narrowed my eyes. There was definitely something he wasn't telling me.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V

The next day I woke up with a smile from ear to ear plastered on my face. I was back at Hogwarts, where I belonged.

"MARY, LILY, ALICE! GET UP! YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE!" I jumped on Mary's bed until she woke up.

"Jaycee? What are you doing?" She sat up and put her hand to her head. "Owww... head rush."

"COME ON! Move your lazy bums!"

"For the love of Merlin, Jaycee..." Alice rolled over in her bed. Lily growled at me from across the room.

"Fine. Geez. I'll go by myself." I put my nose in the air and stalked out of the dorms.

I heard Mary say, "Should we tell her she's in her pyjamas?"

And then Alice reply, "Nah..."

I looked down and saw that, indeed, I was in my track pants and XL Nirvana t-shirt. I quickly returned to my dorm.

"Thanks guys. Good to know what great friends I have." I stuck out my tongue and pulled on one of the black robes lying around the floor.

"Hey, I think that's my robe!" Mary complained.

"Meh... you can have it back tonight"

I bounded down the stairs and up to the boys room.

"REMUS! GET UP!" I yelled from outside the door. I heard mumbled conversation from inside the room.

"How'd she get up here?"

"I dunno... I guess girls can get up our staircase?"

"That's not fair!"

"I'm going to go see what she wants... JUST A MINUTE, JACE!"

After a few seconds a groggy Remus appeared at the door. His usually neat hair was standing up and his eyes were a bit squinty.

"COME ON REM! Breakfast!"

"Jaycee..."

I grabbed his arm. "We are _going_ to be late."

"You can't be late to breakfast..."

"You can MISS breakfast though. COME ON."

"FINE. Just give me a minute to change." He shut the door with a bang. While I waited I hummed and tapped my fingers against the wall, ignoring the strange looks I was getting from other boys coming down for breakfast. Remus and the others FINALLY were ready.

"Ok Jace... Let's go..." He looked severely annoyed.

"I LOVE YOU REM!" I dramatically kissed him on the cheek and he rolled his eyes.

We headed down to the great hall for breakfast. Sirius was poking me in the side the whole way until I finally turned to face him and warned, "If you touch me ONE MORE TIME I will give you another black eye. I will. I'm serious."

"No you aren't!" He said.

"Uhh... yeah I am..."

"Mate, shut up while you can. I reckon she's pretty serious." James interceded.

"I'm pretty serious, she isn't."

"Black you are actually doing my head it!"

"You're ugly Jaycee. I'm pretty Sirius."

Remus, James, and Peter, finally getting it, cracked up. I just gave him a withering look.

"Hey guys." Bertram Austin, a Hufflepuff in our year, called from behind me and ran to catch up with us.

"Hey Bertram." I turned around to face him and smiled.

"Professor Sprout told me to tell as many people as I could find that we're in Greenhouse 3 today."

"Thanks, we'll tell anyone we see." Remus said.

"Cool... see you then." He ran off to join his friends.

James gave Sirius a look that we all knew very well. Suddenly I didn't particularly want to go to Herbology anymore.

"Finally we can use the-"

"And they'll-"

"But we'll need-"

"I have some spare."

"Ok... well we'll have to make sure-"

"I have it under-"

I grabbed James by his collar. "What exactly are you going to be using?" Remus sighed and looked at his shoe as if to say, 'here we go again.'

"Oh come on Aigleigh, don't spoil the surprise!" Sirius moaned. I glared at him and he was very quickly reduced to silence.

"James?"

"Uhh... well... just don't touch the bubutobers after about 10 minutes of the start of the lesson..."

"She can touch them... I don't mind..." Sirius muttered under his breath.

V V V V V V V V V V

BANG! Marlene McKinnon looked, surprised, down at the bubutobers she had accidentally brushed up against. The pus had exploded on contact and great red boils were springing up all over her face.

Sirius nudged James. They, unsuccessfully, tried to suppress their giggles.

Professor Sprout removed her smudged glasses and cleaned them on her robe, succeeding in making them even dirtier.

"What in the name of Merlin?" She cocked her head to the side and furrowed her eyebrows.

I must admit, the sight of the two of them, both frozen in surprise, staring at an exploded bubotuber was enough to set me off, too.

"I suppose... Miss McKinnon, you'd better go to the hospital wing. I am so sorry. I've never seen a bubotober react that way to touch. Maybe you have a skin disease?" The professor grabbed Marlene's hand with interest.

Marlene looked highly insulted. "I don't have a skin disease professor."

"Of course not... of course not." She mumbled. "Well, off you go then. I'll inquire further into this... extraordinary predicament." She said the last part looking directly at James, Black and I. The only three laughing openly. I think she had put two and two together.

Once Marlene was escorted to the Hospital Wing by her friend Professor Sprout said, "Aigleigh, Black, Potter. Detention." James looked guiltily at me. My mouth dropped open.

"But professor-" I started.

"No BUTS Aigleigh."

"But professor-" Sirius tried.

"No Black. Detention for all three of you... next week it'll have to be. Next Saturday at 8."

I glared at the two boys for the rest of the lesson. When it was over Mary, Lily and Alice joined me as I stalked to DADA.

"You pulled a prank and didn't tell us?" Alice looked hurt.

"And with them!" Lily did too.

"IT WASN'T ME." I exclaimed. "I knew about it and laughed because her face was..." I started giggling again. "Oh- it was just so... funny!"

"And now you have detention." Mary smirked.

"Shut up Mary..." I remembered my predicament.

We entered the DADA room, wondering who our new teacher would be.

The room was dark. Creepy. There was a thin, tall man hunched over the desk at the front of the room. When he looked up, I could see his face was thin too, and sunken.

"Good morning class." His smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "Sit wherever you like."

Remus nodded at me. We had decided that the next class we got to choose seats, we'd sit together because we didn't seem to see much of each other at the moment. I didn't want to sit near the front, so we joined the mad scramble for the back. Unfortunately, on account of Remus' need to keep the rest of the world happy, we ended up with a front row seat.

"Now that we are all seated and... happy. Let's begin. I am Professor Uwick. Dumbledore informed me that you are quite up to scratch with defensive spells. Am I correct?"

We nodded in unison.

"Excellent." He hissed. "But I believe you are quite far behind in magical creatures?"

Again, we nodded.

"We will begin the term with hinkypunks, redcaps and less dangerous creatures and next term shall progress to dangerous creatures such as chimaeras and dragons. Third term will be on werewolves, a personal... passion... of mine. Fourth term will be a summary of all other half-breeds." I gulped upon hearing this. I hoped Vigoraters were rare enough that we skipped over them. The second he mentioned the gold eyes, it would all be over for me. I saw Remus' eyes narrow to slits and grip his chair with anger. I wonder what had set him off. I'd never seen Remus angry before.

"Please turn to page 25 of your books. The Hinkypunk."

**GreyHaru, Helmi, and Girl-With-No-Namex: I love love love you for reviewing! Thanks :)**

**I'm uploading chapter 10 too cause it's only like 1000 words and sort of fits with this one. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO! Review, to those of you who don't :P **


	10. The Detention

Ch 10 The Detention _September- one week later_

It was with great frustration that I made my way down to the greenhouses, where we were to meet Professor Sprout for our detention.

"This is ALL your fault." I mumbled to the boys as we stood in the greenhouse.

"Righto. Let's have you three repotting these devil's snares. Make sure you smoke them with this so they won't grab you." She handed us a short, flat rectangle and pointed to a pile of fertilizer and pots in the corner.

"Um... how does this work?" James was holding the "smoker" with a look of severe distrust.

"Just... wave it around a bit. It's harmless to humans. I'll be back at 10." She picked up her marking papers and shut the door behind her.

James was still looking wary of the 'smoker.' I rolled my eyes and grabbed it from him. I waved it over the first Devils' Snare and a green smoke settled on the leaves.

"Touch it, Black." I said.

"Why ME?"

"Because I said so."

He cautiously poked it with his index finger. Nothing happened. I pulled it out of its pot. James had caught on and had filled a new pot with fertilizer. I stuck the plant in the pot and handed it to Sirius who put it on the counter by the window. We did the first few this way, but that got too boring for the boys after a while. I heard them whispering and giggling. I tentatively handed Sirius the next plant, well aware they were up to something. He smiled and took it from me. Then, suddenly, from behind, James dumped a bag of fertilizer over my head. I spun around, angrily.

"POTTER!" I shook my shirt and hair. "LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

The two were laughing fit to bust.

"See how you like it." I grabbed some soil and stuffed it down his shirt.

"HEY!" James yelled and threw some back at me. I gathered some up from the ground and chucked it at his head, he ducked and it hit Sirius instead.

"OI!"

"You were in on it too!"

Sirius grabbed a bag and fired fistful after fistful of fertilizer. I couldn't see, but managed to make my way over to where the two were now both rapid firing the stuff at me. We spent about 20 minutes just throwing dirt around. Then Sirius snuck up behind me and rubbed it directly into my hair. My reflexes were like lightning as I whipped around and tackled him to the ground

"THIS STUFF WILL NEVER COME OUT OF MY HAIR!" I yelled into his ear.

"OWWW!" He rubbed some dirt off the floor into my face. I pursed my lips and rubbed some back in his. He laughed. I looked around the greenhouse and saw the state the place was in and couldn't help laughing too. I rolled off him and we both sat up. James joined us on the floor.

"Merlin Sirius, look what you've done!" I expected him to deny all charges to starting this war, but instead he just blinked. James blinked too.

"What?" I was confused.

"You called me Sirius?"

"Oh... yeah... I guess I did." It was my turn to blink in shock. I realized I had been thinking about him as Sirius for a while now. I gaped, realizing I didn't really hate him so much anymore. In fact... I didn't really hate him at all.

He grinned. "Doesn't mean I'm going to stop calling you, Goldy." I shoved him hard and he fell back onto the ground. James stood up.

"Guys... this is lovely and all, but it's 9:30. We have half an hour to repot 20 Devils' Snares."

Sirius' eyes widened. And my mouth fell open. We were dead.

"We're dead." James voiced my thoughts.

"Not if we work as fast as... as... uhh... something fast!" Was Sirius' intelligent comment.

I grabbed the smoker and smoked all 20 plants in one go. "Let's all pot. We can move them over when we're done." I looked at the walls and floor of the greenhouse. "Actually, you two pot. I'll clean up the greenhouse."

Professor Sprout arrived at exactly 10. We were exhausted, sweaty, and covered in dirt, but satisfied with how quickly we had finished everything.

"Very good. Very good. My fourth years are going to be over the moon about this. Now we can get on with the syllabus. Right you three-" she suddenly realized just how filthy we were. "What HAVE you been doing?"

We spoke unanimously.

"I tripped and pulled a bag of fertilizer down on us by mistake."

"I didn't smoke one completely and we had a bit of a scuffle getting free."

"The Mandrakes stared chucking stuff at us."

Professor Sprout raised an eyebrow. "Riiiight..." she said, "Why don't you go and get cleaned up."

We said goodbye and I pulled the door shut behind us. As I was turned around I could've sworn I saw the smallest smile on her lips.

V V V V V V V V V V V V

The girls were in pyjamas, all sitting on Lily's bed.

"GOD YOU SMELL AWFUL!"

"Tactful, Mary." I shut the dorm door with a bang, irritated at myself. How could I have let that one slip. I still hated him. Hated him with a passion. What had I been thinking? I would always hate him.

"You know I'm no good at tact." She buried her face in Lily's duvet.

Lily gagged and Alice covered her nose. "Go and shower NOW!" Lily shrieked. Alice nodded dumbly.

I rolled my eyes and walked over to the bathroom. "You guys are such girls..."

"What gave it away?" Mary asked under her breath.

"I heard that!" I shouted from inside the bathroom.

After a nice, long shower and I had changed into my own pyjamas I felt a lot better. Like I had washed away the incident of being nice to that less than human life form. I didn't not hate him. Of course not. He was always going to be Black. Nothing had changed. We would never be friends.

**Yes Jaycee is very irritating, but *remembers from the classes we did on Greek tragedy* pride is her hamartia. Revvvvvieeeewwww to make a happy fanfic writer :)**


	11. The Grindylow

Ch 11 The Grindylow _September_

To show Black that nothing had changed, I purposely ignored him all the next day. James frowned, but didn't say anything. Mary, Lily and Alice didn't notice a change in my behaviour. Neither did Peter, but he didn't notice much, really. By the end of the day only one person noticed my sudden coldness to Black that I hadn't expressed openly since the beginning of first year.

"Homework!" Professor Flitwick squeaked. The Gryffindor/Slytherin class groaned. I hated both Charms and Potions. Potions, for the obvious reason of not being able to go a lesson without blowing something up, but mainly because those were the classes we had with the Slytherins. Ever since I had stood up for Remus on the train I had made a few enemies in Lucius Malfoy and his 'sidekicks' Nott and Avery.

"Two feet on the wand movement of a spell of your choice. Make sure to include examples of what can go wrong. Class dismissed."

I started moving towards the door with Mary, my charms partner.

"Aigleigh." Malfoy grinned evilly. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"Hello Malfoy." Yes you haven't seen me in a while, I've been avoiding you. 

"Who's your friend, Aigleigh?"

"None of your beeswax...Malfoy." Mary spat. "Now if you wouldn't mind moving, I'd _like_ to get to Defence."

Malfoy mockingly bowed and moved aside from the door. As I passed him he hissed under his breath, "Watch yourself, Mudblood. He's got it in for your kind." I didn't pay attention, as I had no idea who "He" was.

We were now late for DADA.

"Gee thanks Malfoy," I scowled, jogging down the halls.

"He- can't-" Mary started, breathing heavily, "hear-you."

"As if I didn't- know that."

We crashed through the door of the DADA room. Professor Uwick was dangling a Grindylow in his hand, having removed it from the tank.

"McDonald, Aigleigh. You are very late. Explaination?" He narrowed his eyes. The Grindylow, desperately grasping the air with its long arms.

"Professor that's cruel!" I said shocked. "Grindylows DIE without water. You have to put it back now or it'll die!"

"Miss Aigleigh. You are in no position to tell me what I _have_ to do. This is only a Grindylow. 10 points from Gryffindor. Sit down NOW. You too McDonald." The tips of his ears began to turn white, a sure sign he was getting very annoyed. Mary hurried to her seat at the back next to Brianne Bell, the Ravenclaw Mary was good friends with. I didn't sit. Instead, I looked over at Remus who was looking just as angry as I felt.

"Professor! Please! We can still see it in the tank! Just put it back. Please!" The Grindylow was running out of steam. Its arms waving not as wildly. I, knowing I was going to regret this later, rushed up to the front of the classroom and snatched the Grindylow from his hands.

"Give that back right now or I shall deduct 100 points from Gryffindor." He was spitting with anger. I didn't care. I gently placed the Grindylow back in its tank where it limply fell to the bottom. Pond muck billowed out from under it. I had been too late anyway.

"That's 100 points for nothing, Miss Aigleigh. Now SIT. DOWN."

Dejectedly, I walked back to my seat. What was I thinking? All thoughts of reason had fled me. I had lost 100 points for Gryffindor. And I hadn't even managed to rescue it.

"As Miss Aigleigh had so demonstrated, Grindylows cannot survive out of water for longer than 5 minutes."

I glared at him when he turned to write on the blackboard.

Remus squeezed my hand. "You were completely in the right. No one will care about the points." He whispered. I faintly smiled.

V V V V V V V V V V V V

I was surprised walking into to the common room. Instead of receiving scowls and the cold-shoulder for losing so many points, Molly Prewett smiled at me, Frank Longbottom from the year above clapped me on the shoulder, and some older girls nodded at me as I went, with Mary, Alice, and Lily to sit down on the couches by the fire with the boys.

"All that worry about everyone hating you for nothing." Remus smiled.

"I thought it was really brave of you to do that, Jace." Lily said. The others nodded enthusiastically.

"How do they all know anyway?" I wondered. I guess news spreads pretty quickly at this school.

"Don't worry. I still hate you, Goldy." From a grinning Black.

"Black" I said his name loudly so he would hear that he was always going to be 'Black.' "I honestly do not care for your input." Each word was deliberately sharp and cold. He scratched his head.

"Uh... ok... sorry Gol-Aigleigh."

I leaned back into the couch with certainty. Not for long though because Remus, who was sitting next to me, got up and pulled me up with him.

"What Rem? I was comfortable!" I moaned.

"Just come with me." He led me to the complete other side of the common room. The others were looking at us, confused.

"Ok. What did Sirius do?" He began.

"Huh? What made you think Siri-Black... did anything?"

He raised his eyebrows. "I haven't seen you act like this towards him since last year. Just lay off, Jace."

"Look," who was Remus to think he could tell me what to do? "If I want to be pissed at him. I can. Got it? It's none of your business how I treat him, ok?"

"Ok... whatever Jaycee." He said tiredly. "I just think you're being a bit immature about this, is all."

"ME? Immature!" If anyone was being immature it was Sirius... Black. Merlin, I WOULD remember that.

"Yes YOU. Why do you even dislike him in the first place?"

"Uhhh I dunno maybe because he's an arrogant stuck up prick?"

"So? We all are. We're 12 for the love of Merlin."

"YOU'RE not."

He paused, unsure of how to tackle this, which of course, was exactly my intention. It was true, but convenient as well.

"I'm going back to the others now." I finished and stalked off back to my seat. Remus trailed meekly behind.

**Hmm... in hindsight, I probably should've uploaded the last one and this one together, both of them being short... oh well. I'm actually so excited about this fic! I've gotten to 19 chapters of prewritten now and I honestly cannot tell you how much self-restraint I need not to upload every single one of them now. Please leave a comment! I actually have a mini happiness fit every time I get a new one. Oh and over 1000 hits! You guys are incredible! I actually feel like a writer! **

**HaRrYpOtTeRlOvEr-94: WOW! Pretty much a review for every chapter! Thanks so much! You're amazing! Yeah, I always feel sad when I do a family scene for her. I almost always have to go on and do a "happy with friends" chapter after. More for my benefit than her's haha. About the animagus thing... maybe I am... but maybe I'm not ;) You'll just have to wait and seeee. Thanks again for the reviews! 3**

**Harrypotternerd1398: aww thanks that's so nice! I'm updating tonight as well. I couldn't help myself and HAD to update this one this morning as well as the one coming. I think writing is a bit of a weakness XD**

**VictoriaWeasly: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it**

**Bradygirl84: Thanks! I'm glad you thought it was awesome. I do try **

**Whew... long A/N here. Sorry about that.**


	12. The Patronus

12. The Patronus _December_

Sirius had more or less stopped antagonizing me. I think he had finally given up. It had taken almost 4 months to do it. Whenever he saw me, he would slope away in the other direction or sit as far away from me as possible. That was exactly how I wanted it. James was much colder towards me, which was a bit sad, but at least I still had Remus and the girls.

I received another scroll from Dumbledore at breakfast. He told me last month that he wanted to start to teach me how to concentrate my power into my fingers. I was still a bit apprehensive about using the light, though we had been practicing for months now. I also got a letter from home. For the first time in one and a half years now. My parents would never contact me unless something was awfully wrong. I opened it fearfully.

_Jaycee,_

_Your father and I have requested that this Christmas you stay at the school as we are going to France to visit old college friends. We are well and hope you are too. _

_Sincerely,_

_Delilah_

My emotions were very contrasting. I was bitterly disappointed I wasn't going to be able to see Emily these holidays and that my parents seemingly didn't want me. But then again, at least I wouldn't have to suffer through another three weeks of agony at home. I was also relieved because, thankfully, everyone was ok. I hoped Emily would be alright for a whole year without me. I decided to send her an owl as soon as I had time.

At 7:30 (better to be early than late, I thought) nervously, I made my way to the head's office. The usual hustling-bustling school was so quiet at night. I loved it. It was so much more serene. I saw two dark shapes ahead of me. Squinting, I could see it was Sirius and James with their brooms. They stopped when they saw my shadow, stretched all the way down the corridor from the dim lights.

"Shit. We're dead." James' voice carried all the way down the hall.

"Nah... It's just Goldy." I grimaced when I heard him call me that. He wasn't speaking to me, but he was still calling me nicknames. He infuriated me. James breathed a sigh of relief and started towards me. I didn't particularly want to talk to either of them, but I guess I didn't have much of a choice.

"What are you guys doing up so late?" I questioned, glaring at Sirius, once they had reached me.

"Uhh... Quidditch practice." James looked sheepish. I smiled. Partly because I knew you wouldn't find someone more in love with the game than James and partly because we were having a proper conversation. I guess he had forgiven me for cold-shouldering Sirius.

"I understand the flying part, but really? The rest seems so pointless."

"Well," he began excitedly, Sirius still lurking behind us, "the thing is-"

"James I'm going back to the dorm." Sirius cut him off. James shrugged and continued talking about the perks of the game. I watched Sirius, slumped shoulders, walk in the direction of the Gryffindor tower. Once he had gone James abruptly stopped talking.

"I knew talking about Quidditch would get him to leave. He loves the game, can't stand talking about it. We need to have a talk." He looked serious.

"Yeah? I don't reckon this is the best place to do it. I have to be at Dumbledore's in like 5 minutes and you're out past curfew." I knew what he wanted to talk to me about. But seriously, why did everyone else care so much. This was my business.

"Yeah? I reckon this is perfect." I opened my mouth to argue, but he cut in too quickly. "What the hell is with you at the moment? Sirius has been so down lately. What's he done to you?"

"James, I dunno, ok. Just leave it. I just don't like him very much."

"Why?" I was about to say he's an arrogant toe-rag when I stopped. He wasn't actually so bad anymore. Sure, he was Sirius. He would always be arrogant. I suddenly realized the only reason I had continuing this, as Remus had said, immature facade was because I was too proud to admit I was wrong about him.

"I... I don't know." I said softly. I couldn't back down now. I would look soft changing opinion like that.

"Whatever, Jaycee. Figure it out." He shook his head and headed back to the dorms. I stood there for a few minutes. I hate being wrong. It really pisses me off. Angry, I continued, late, to Dumbledore's.

"Why so late Jaycee?" Dumbledore looked at me from over the top of his glasses.

"Sorry, I got caught up." I mumbled and took my seat in front of his desk. He frowned.

"Jaycee... pride goeth before a fall." That took me by surprise. One, how the heck did he know what was bugging me and two, how did he know Shakespeare? He was a wizard.

"Right, I suspect it would be wise to teach you better control." I shook my head to focus, and then nodded in agreement.

"This is probably not going to be easy the first time, Jaycee, but don't give up. I believe you can do this. I want you to focus every atom of your being on producing your light in you index finger."

I narrowed my eyes and breathed deeply. By now I knew how to call on my power under any circumstance. I released it, focusing hard on my finger... and nothing happened. Nothing at all. The light shone from my eyes like usual. I looked at Dumbledore.

"It's all right. I didn't expect you to get it on the first go. Try again. Clear your mind of all thoughts."

I focused harder. It was hard to clear my head of all thoughts though. They kept drifting back to the conversation I had just had with James. He was right. I was wrong. Merlin, that irritated me.

"Jaycee?" Dumbledore looked stern. "You aren't working to the best of your abilities, are you? You are under no obligation to be here right now. If you are not willing to train, I do not blame you, but I believe strongly that this is for your benefit."

"I'm sorry. I am. I can do it. I really can."

"I know you can. Try again." I spent the next half an hour trying again. Finally on my 10th or so try my right index finger began to glow. I was so excited I stopped concentrating for one second and the light disappeared.

"Oh no!" I looked at my finger dejectedly.

Dumbledore smiled. "Good job, Jaycee. That was a very good start. Do everything you were doing that time only keep concentrating for a little longer."

I took a breath. This was so exhausting. I supposed one more try wouldn't kill me.

There is was again! In my finger. It stayed there for longer that time. Getting brighter until it streamed out of my finger almost like 'Lumos.'

I grinned and looked at him. "That was excellent!" He clapped. "Excellent."

By 10pm I could focus the light throw any of my fingers, more than one at a time.

"I believe it is time to go to bed. You managed to get through so much tonight. I am so proud of you." His blue eyes were twinkling. "Now... if you don't mind, out of curiosity, have you heard of the Patronus spell?"

"Is that the dementor protection one?" I have briefly read about it in one of the books Professor Elmwood had given me last year.

"Yes. Now do you think you would be able to cast it? As there are no dementors is should be a snap for you, my dear. The spell is Expecto Patronum. Think of the happiest memory you can find... if I am correct you will produce..." he trailed off.

I pulled out my wand and concentrated on how I felt the first time I saw Hogwarts. "Expecto Patronum!" A silver phoenix burst from the tip and soared around Dumbledore's office. My eyes widened with disbelief. It was beautiful. The phoenix landed on Dumbledore's desk and paced back and forth.

"I believed so." He muttered to himself then turned to me. "Phoenix tears... they heal any wound, you know. I have heard rumours that all Vigoraters produce phoenix patronuses and animagi." I let the silver creature fade away slowly. It was like watching the last ember go out in the fireplace. I missed it immediately once it had left.

"Animagi? Isn't Professor McGonagall one?" I asked.

"Yes, that's correct. Being an animagus allows one to become the form of their patronus. And you-"

"So does that mean I would be a phoenix?" I cut him off excitedly.

"And you would be a phoenix." He smiled. "The bird which can heal with its tears. Unless I am very much mistaken, when you were in your animagi form your light would become tears. Animagis also carry a trait that is unique to the witch or wizard. I believe you, in animagi form, would keep your golden eyes."

"Wow." I breathed. "How can I become an animagus?"

"It's a very complicated and risky procedure. Usually the ministry keeps an eye on all who attempt it. But in this circumstance... I think it would be better to... forget... the rules. Just this once." My mouth dropped open. Dumbledore breaking the law? I suppose that did make sense. He seemed to make his own rules.

"I have to go away for a while, but when I get back we will begin work!" He seemed as excited as I was. "But now, let us close our eyes and dream healing dreams."

I grinned and said good night.

On the way to the dorms I whispered, "Expecto Patronum." My silver phoenix erupted from my wand and flew beside me, lighting the way back.

V V V V V V V V

"How was it?" Alice asked when I stepped through the door. I walked to the full-length mirror on the bathroom door. My eyes were bright and my cheeks were flushed with excitement. I pictured my golden eyes as the eyes of a phoenix and couldn't help grinning widely.

"You look happy." Mary grunted from under the covers.

"Hey, Jace. You never got round to telling us why Dumbledore has to see you so often." Lily sat up.

"Oh yeah!" Alice remembered.

It was true. I hadn't ever managed to think of an appropriate excuse so I usually just changed the subject whenever it was brought up. I didn't want to tell them. As much as I loved my friends it was a combination of Dumbledore warning me not to and the fact that I really just wanted to be normal to them...

"Oh... uh... mmm. It's complicated. So Lily, found out who sent you the bunch of lilies at breakfast?" I had discovered if I brought up something about one of them the topic of Dumbledore was usually dropped.

"James... Who else? God that boy is irritating. I just want to punch his arrogant little head. I don't even like lilies." She scowled.

"Awww don't be so rude Lils" I said, "I think it's sweet."

"It is not sweet! He is sooooo annoying."

Alice cackled from across the room. Mary rolled her eyes. She had told me often enough how sick she was of the whole Lily-James thing. I shook my head, but still smiled.

"Well, I'm exhausted." I climbed over to my bed next to Mary's. "G'night everyone."

The mumbled goodnights in reply. I lay awake for hours. I couldn't stop thinking about being able to fly. Without a broom. Just to fly whenever I wanted. I shut my eyes happily and dreamed of golden-eyed phoenixes.

**Sorry I didn't update last night, but I had some French homework I had been neglecting. Anyway, the next chapter (13) is one of my favorites! Over 1000 hits now! This is actually insane! 3 3 I love you all! Reviewww everyyone! **

**HorcruxesandHallows: Thanks for the reviews :) I'm not happy you were sad, but I'm happy about the reason you were sad! Hmm... that doesn't sound much better actually. Oh dear haha. Anywoo, I probably should have been more clear. He isn't a werewolf himself, he just hates them. BUT OMG YOU JUST GAVE ME A BRILLIANT IDEA! :O :D**

**GreyHaru: I'm the same as you. I love animals and people who step in to save them. (And being magical doesn't hurt either XD) 3**

**Girl-with-no-name-x: Thanks so much for the reviews. They were so nice to get :)**


	13. The Secret

Ch 13 The Secret _January_

Christmas was rather lonely. Everyone else had gone home. Emily hadn't replied to my owl all holidays. I guessed she was having too much fun in France... or Mouse didn't know where to find her. Remus and Mary owled me occasionally to make sure I wasn't too lonely. I used the three weeks to catch up on all my missed homework assignments. Teachers had started to nab me in the corridors and demand late assignments. I was so happy when everyone returned, I even smiled at Sirius. Black! Uhg. It just wasn't the same in the common room without the others. Soon Hogwarts was back in the swing of things though. James told me that this would be the year I would get into Quidditch. I told him that would never happen. He said he was forcing me to Gyffindor's next match.

Remus was looking a bit queasy at breakfast. I tried to get him to eat something decent, but he refused adamantly to eat anything apart from a few undercooked sausages he found at the bottom of the pile. He had long scar down his cheek that Madam Pomfrey had seemingly not been able to heal. I wondered what he had been doing these holidays. I hoped everything was okay.

"Remus you do know that's disgusting right, mate?" Sirius said pleasantly.

"Shut up..." Remus mumbled in reply.

"Black, leave him alone. He's sick." I chucked a fried tomato across the table.

"As if you just did that." Sirius narrowed his grey eyes and chucked a boiled egg at my head. I ducked and it hit Malfoy at the Slytherin table sitting behind us. He whipped his head around and saw me chortling into my pumpkin juice. His eyes flashed angrily as he pointed his wand across the table and muttered something under his breath. I ducked again, just in time and the curse hit the yoghurt which exploded all over Lily, who shrieked. James burst out laughing.

She reached across Alice and smashed a pumpkin pasty into his face and grinned. Remus smiled meekly at James' expression.

"Right." He said with determination and picked up a piece of toast. Sirius grabbed some scrambled egg. I grabbed some black pudding. Alice hid under the table. Remus put his head on the table and Peter looked back and forth between some peaches and the safety of the underneath of the table. In the end safety seemed to have won.

"FOOOOD FIIIIIGHT!" Sirius yelled at the top of his lungs. Suddenly, food was flying in every direction. I grabbed a plate as a shield in one hand and some more pudding in the other, bent on ruining Sirius' hair. It irritated me that his was perfect every day. The boy had never had a single bad hair day.

Teachers were half-heartedly attempting to stop the fight. Dumbledore had joined in and laughingly threw some oats at Flitwick.

Finally, somehow, McGonagall managed to regain control.

"WHAT on EARTH were you thinking." We were silent. "ALL of you will report here tonight and scrub this place until it shines. NO EXCEPTIONS."

I looked at my robes, covered in various food and shook my short hair to try, unsuccessfully, dislodge some of the peanut butter. Then I looked over at the others. Remus hadn't moved and was completely covered in food. Alice and Peter emerged from under the table looking smug and neat as pins. Sirius and James were the worst though. I glanced across at Lily who was trying to suppress a smile.

V V V V V V V V V

We were all late to Defence that day, having had to shower and change. We entered the dark room chattering loudly about the fight. Professor Uwick was looking grim.

"Now I know you all think that childish stunt was... funny... but we do have a lesson to get on with." We shut up. Remus and I had gotten in early this term and have secured a seat at the back next to James and Sirius, Lily and Alice, and Mary and Brianne Bell.

"This term we will be concentrating on werewolves." I couldn't help notice the sneer on the professor's face.

"Who here, can distinguish the features of the werewolf?" No one raised their hand. "No one? Very well." He turned to the board and wrote:

_Elongated snout_

_Tufted Tail_

_Sharper teeth_

_Yellow eyes_

"Werewolves are very dangerous and must be spotted and avoided at all costs. If there is one thing I teach you this year, avoid werewolves at all costs. I know some of you may have been told that in human form there is nothing wrong with a werewolf. I am here to tell you this is utter nonsense." Remus growled under his breath.

"Rem?" I whispered. "You okay?"

"Yes. I'm. Fine." He said through gritted teeth.

"I knew a werewolf. We went to school together. He is the epitome of evil. His name is Fenrir Greyback," half the class gasped. "Oh, you've heard of him? Yes... that, class, is your average werewolf." His thin smile grew and his eyes lit up, thrilled with the power he had to mould our opinions. I clenched my fists. This was getting a bit carried away. Mary put up her hand.

"Sir, please, but I've read about werewolves. They aren't all bad. Most of them are very nice people. It's not their fault they've got a... furry little problem..." Everyone laughed to hear a horrific condition described as a 'furry little problem.'

"MacDonald, answer when you are called on please! And are you teaching this class? No I didn't think so. 10 points from Gryffindor for being rude."

Mary's mouth hung open with shock. My eyes were now slits. I'd had enough of this teacher and his unorthodox ways of teaching a class. I stood up.

"Professor. No disrespect intended, but you are meant to provide an unbiased opinion of every aspect of what we are learning about. I've never met a werewolf, but I assure you if I did I would feel no differently about that person. Mary's right. You are wrong." I was getting angrier and angrier.

"Sit down right now, Aigleigh or get detention for the rest of the month." He spat with distaste. I sat, crossed my arms and glared at him, not fancying detention. "Not another word out of you. As I was saying... Werewolves are terrible freaks of nature." I couldn't bear to listen to him for another second. Remus seemed to feel the same way. He was gripping his chair like his life depended on it again. I looked out the window. The moon was still setting. I'd always thought it was cool when the sun and moon were in the sky together. It was almost full. I suspected that tonight it would be. The lake always looked beautiful in the moonlight. Remus would appreciate that. I tried to think why I didn't tell him last full moon.

Suddenly everything stopped. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. Why hadn't I shared this with Remus? Because he was never there. Ever. For a single full moon. I wracked my brains desperately trying to think of a time when he had been there. But... nothing. He was always "sick" during full moons. It all clicked into place. Oh Merlin. Poor Remus. I wanted to hug him and never let go. Remus... Remus was a... werewolf.

V V V V V V V V V

"Remus!" I called. He had rushed out of the class as soon as Uwick dismissed us. I was running to catch up. "REMUS STOP!" I called again. He didn't stop. I managed to catch up to him and grabbed his wrist.

"For Merlin's sake Remus! Just ignore me like that?" I ran my other hand through my hair, attempting to smooth it back into place.

"Sorry... guess I didn't hear you." He looked at the floor. We were silent. He twisted his arm in my hand trying to get free. I wasn't having any of that. I gave him a look and he immediately stopped struggling. I lowered my voice.

"Can... can I talk to-"

"No. We're already late." He tried to free himself from my grasp again. And I almost let him go. I suddenly couldn't find the words I had to say.

No. I was going to talk to him RIGHT NOW. This was important.

"Actually, Rem, it wasn't a question. It was a nicer way of telling you we are having a discussion right now without seeming like I'm forcing you." I said firmly.

"But you are forcing me..." He rolled his eyes and sighed, defeated. I softened my grip and moved my hand into his.

"Rem... " I started. His usually mild brown eyes were full of fear, knowing exactly what I was about to say. "I know." I quietly said, gripping his hand tighter.

"And... and you don't... hate me?" He whispered with disbelief. I dropped his hand with shock.

"What? How could you even think that?" My brow was furrowed. "You're my BEST FRIEND. I could never hate you..." I said the last sentence softly. He sniffed. I gave him a comforting hug. How could he think that? How could I hate him? I felt so sorry for him. It must be awful having to go throw that once a month. I held him tighter. And awful Uwick. My eyes grew hot and I felt them filling with tears. All I could think of was how sad and lonely Remus must have felt, desperately trying to hide this secret from us.

My stomach dropped and I knew there was something else I had to do.

"Are you crying?" Remus asked, sniffing himself.

"Maybe," my voice wavered. I still didn't let him go though.

"Thanks... Jaycee..." He said, his voice wavering too, " You're _my_ best friend." I pulled him aside. The halls were deserted. We were so late, but I didn't mind. Now was probably the only time I was going to get to say this.

"Rem? Uh... I have something to tell you too." I didn't care what Dumbledore said. I needed to do this. I closed my gold eyes and breathed in deeply. "I think you should sit down."

We both sat on the floor, leaning against the wall. I focused with all my might until I could feel my fingers begin to glow. I heard Remus' sharp intake of breath. I opened my eyes. I knew they were glowing too. Though not quite as brightly as my fingertips.

"Watch this." I breathed and brought my index finger to the scar on his cheek. Where I touched immediately disappeared. I hadn't healed someone for years and the exertion was draining my energy levels like crazy. Once the scar had completely healed I let the light ebb away, breathing heavily.

"You're a Vigorater, aren't you?" His eyes were wide.

"Please, Remus, Please don't tell anyone." I begged, still breathless. He pulled me into another hug.

"Of course I won't. Wow. That's... that's... unbelievable. Are you sure?"

I laughed. "Yes I'm sure."

"You won't tell anyone about my... furry little problem either, right?" He smiled humourlessly. I nodded.

"Aren't you scared of me?" I finally managed to get out.

"Aren't you scared of me?" He replied. Touché. "We're always going to be best of friends, Jace. No matter what."

I smiled and leaned against his shoulder. Of course we would. What could possibly separate us?

**Sorry for a bit of a delay, again lol. Hopefully that won't happen again. Everyone review! XD**

**HaRrYpOtTeRlOvEr- 94: I suppose there is no point trying to conceal what's coming any longer, so yes, I am planning on that happening haha. Thanks so much for another lovely review! **

**Girl-With-No-Name-x: hahaha thanks 3 and on the topic of golden eyes, I actually saw a person with gold eyes the other day! I was like :O so yes. Not quite sure how that had anything to do with your review but... Thanks for reviewing though! :D**

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**sonofafluffymuffin: Wow I have to say, you have an amazing penname! Thanks for the review, you made me laugh :D How amazing would that be though? I'd love love love to be able to turn into a phoenix! I guess I'll just have to live with only Jaycee getting to be one :( **


	14. The Friendship

Ch 14 The Friendship _May_

"Voldemort." Dumbledore looked at me gravely.

"Whosit?" I said.

I was at Dumbledore's office again. Only he had called me in at 1, as it was a weekend. We had been tirelessly working on my Animagus. So far I had managed to see the picture in my head, but that was it. I was beginning to think this would never work. Dumbledore told me it took most wizards and witches years to even see their form, but I wasn't a witch, was I?

"Voldemort. A dark wizard who's made it to the front page of the Daily Prophet. He desires to... 'purify' the wizarding race."

"Purify..." I said, "Meaning... Purebloods only?"

"Yes. For now. How long, though, I wonder, until it's Death Eaters only?" He looked out the window across the grounds.

"Death. Eaters?"

"His followers." Was the head's nonchalant reply. "He's collecting wizards and witches to join him and he's especially interested in... the more powerful." His eyes bore into mine.

I gulped.

"This means, Jaycee, it's even more vital that you tell no one, not a soul, about what you are. Understand?"

My heart sank. It had been four months since Remus and I had exchanged secrets. I still hadn't told Dumbledore about it. I didn't know if I should or not.

"Ahhh..." his expression cleared. "You've already told someone, haven't you?"

"I'm so sorry, professor, it's just I had just found out about Remus-" I stopped suddenly, eyes widening. What if he didn't know.

"It's alright, Jaycee. I know about Mr. Lupin." He smiled. I breathed out. "And I completely understand. In fact, I probably would have done the same thing if I were you. Just no one else, alright? The truth will be known in time. All will be revealed when it needs to be."

What did that mean? Was I going to have to tell everyone? I hoped not. That would be awful. Maybe Remus had accepted me, but that didn't mean anyone else would... I knew exactly how Black would react.

Thinking about this, I realized, I actually didn't have a clue to how Sirius would react. I was still judging him based on first impressions. I knew this was wrong... but I couldn't suddenly stop hating him, could I?

He let me go at 3, saying there was nothing else that needed to be discussed today. This Voldemort character had really got me worried. I thought back to what Malfoy'd said about how I needed to "watch myself." Was he right? Who was this guy anyway? No one else had said anything about him. Maybe Dumbledore was just being paranoid?

"Hey Goldy. James sent me to look for you."

I jumped. "Aiayaah!"

Sirius was leaning against the corridor wall. I had been so lost in thought I didn't notice him. He smirked at my reaction.

"Shush you. You scared me. What does James want? Why couldn't he come get me himself?" I complained.

"Wow it almost sounds like you don't _want_ to see me!"

"I don't Si- Black..." I snapped. But I was feeling bad again. Why was I keeping up this pretence of hating him? I thought back to what Dumbledore had once said, _pride goeth before a fall._ Sirius tutted and walked off.

"Hey never mind, ok?" He said over his shoulder.

"Sirius wait!" Why was it that I always seemed to be chasing after people? If this continued I was going to be so in shape. He didn't listen. I didn't expect him to. I stopped, refusing to chase him.

"Sirius... I'm sorry." I said softly. He turned slowly, as if expecting a practical joke of somesort. I cautiously walked towards him.

"What?" He looked genuinely confused.

"I've been judging you based on first impressions for months. I'm the self-important, arrogant toe-rag..."

"Ah, Goldy, that's not true." He softly punched me in the arm.

We stood awkwardly for a few moments before he spoke again. "So we're all good now? You promise? Not like last time we were 'all good?'"

"I promise. All good... and I really am... sorry." I looked at the floor.

"Want to go down to the Quidditch pitch? That's what James sent me to find you for. He wants to teach you to play. I said you'd never go for it, but he seemed too keen for me to say I wouldn't do it."

I huffed. "Oh alright then. Teach me to play 'the sport for Gods.'"

"You said it, not me." He winked. I hit him around the back of the head, smiling properly. He was being really decent about all this. I felt guilty knowing if the positions had been reversed, there was no way I would have moved on this quickly. He was a really decent person, after all, if still a little arrogant at times.

V V V V V V V V V V V

"JACE! YOU CAME!" James yelled from across the pitch. He was carrying three brooms from the supply closet next to the change rooms.

"YOU WERE RIGHT!" Sirius screeched back.

"I'M ALWAYS RIGHT!"

"OI I'M PRETTY SURE THE LADY ACROSS THE STREET DIDN'T QUITE CATCH THAT!"

"Wow! I didn't know you could yell that loud." Sirius said. He looked rather impressed.

"Of course I can yell that loud." I scoffed, "I can do anything." I stuck out my tongue.

"Now who's arrogant." He mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!" He smiled sweetly as we reached James in the middle of the pitch. He had already mounted his Cleensweep and was doing mini laps around us in an attempt to speed us up.

Sirius and I grabbed the two remaining brooms as James landed.

"Ok. Are you ready? You know the rules right?" James asked.

"Of course I know the rules... how could I not with you two in my house."

"Right well, let's just chuck the quaffle around for a bit, eh?" Sirius suggested. We agreed and flew up as high as the goal posts. Once more, I was overcome by the feeling of freedom that came from flying a broom. The wind whipped my hair around and whooshed in my ears.

"Heads up!" I heard James call. I caught the red ball with ease and passed it to Sirius.

"SURPRISE QUAFFLE!" Sirius yelled and threw, with skill, back at me, catching me off guard. I managed to catch it with the tips of my fingers and pass it over to James before Sirius, who was advancing, could attack properly.

This went on for a while. I had to admit, it was a lot of fun. Just one more thing I had made assumptions about and was proven wrong. We started shooting, with James as keeper. He was desperate to be Keeper on the Gryffindor team. He hadn't made it this year though. Being only a second year, he was lucky to be as good as the average 5th -7th years who had also tried out. Still, it was a challenge to get anything passed him.

"Let's practice beating." Sirius shouted over the wind, eagerly. I nodded enthusiastically. That was the position I had quite liked the idea of most. It most definitely was the protective instincts that come with the nature of being a Vigorater... nothing to do with being able to whack a black, heavy ball at people with a bat. Not at all...

James landed and grabbed the bats and a Bludger. I had decided not to ask him how he got his hands on the Quidditch equipment.

He chucked the bats at Sirius and I, and hopped back on his broom with the struggling Bludger, to join us.

"Jace... watch out, ok... these things are bloody dangerous!" James warned.

"I can take care of myself. Plus, I have a bat." I grinned and waved around the short, stubby wooden bat for effect. James released the Bludger.

It flew straight towards Sirius who whacked it towards me. It was a feeling of exhilaration as the ball whizzed towards my head. I swung as hard as I could and it flew off back in Sirius' direction. The force of the swing caused my broom to do a 360. James was killing himself laughing at the sight of me.

I nodded at Sirius, who hit the Bludger to me. I whacked it straight at the unaware James. It caught him in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. Sirius flew over and held his hand up for a high five.

"OWNED POTTER!" I yelled, laughing.

It was getting dark. Once we were back on the ground, windswept and red-faced from cold, I said, "Whoa, it's like... 7 already! How did that happen?"

"Time flies when you're having fun, hmm, Goldy? Still reckon Quidditch is a waste of time?" Sirius gloated.

"Yeah yeah, you win. Quidditch is fun..."

James fist pumped, victorious. "Does this mean you're trying out for the team in 3rd year? Sirius was too chicken to try out this year."

"I was not! I just knew a second year really didn't stand much of a chance!" He exclaimed, "and it's the truth..." he said more quietly.

We walked back to the common room together, sharing funny stories and jokes. It had been so long since I last hung out with James. And the more I got to know Sirius, the more I realized how entirely wrong I had been about him.

"Hey hey?" Mary sprung up from a desk in the corner upon seeing us enter. "Since when are you two friends?"

"Since a few hours ago..." I said and looked at Sirius. We both cracked up. It sounded so stupid said out loud. "Where're Lily and the others?"

"Lily's with Snivellus. I honestly do not see how she can bare to be friends with that slimy git."

"Me. Either." James spat.

"Alice's with her cousin, Peter's... I don't know where Peter is actually... but Remus just got back from the hospital wing. I think he's upstairs." She counted off everyone on her fingers.

"Let's go pay Remy a surprise visit!" I made my way to the boys' staircase pulling Mary behind me. I turned my head to smile at Sirius, one final apology for being such an idiot. I think school was going to get a lot more interesting now that I was friends with him. I had no idea.

**Come on people! Reviews are good! They are very good! We all love reviews XD Well... in this case, it's mostly me loving the reviews, but I'm sure you all love the fuzzy feeling inside when you press that button :D (beeteedubs, you don't have to have an account to review)**

**GreyHaru: Yeah, I wanted her to have to **_**someone**_** and her finding out about Remus seemed like a golden opportunity! A hundred thankeees for the review **

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**sonofafluffymuffin: Wow thanks for the super long review! I find myself wanting to write only about the good bits haha. I guess I liked the idea of a love-hate relationship. Those are always fun. But now they're friends! XD So things will be even more funner-er. Thanks again! Made my day :D **


	15. The Star

Ch 15 The Star _May_

I woke up with a start. There was a light sheen of sweat on my forehead. I looked at Mary's alarm clock. 5:46am. Perfect. Just perfect. What had woken me though? I sat up, thinking hard. All I had left in my memory was a flash of a blurry vision of a bird. A bird... A bird... I must have been dreaming of phoenixes again. I couldn't help myself. It was the same dream every time. A red phoenix would land in the Forbidden forest. Hundreds of green people would flock around and admire it. It would fly around, showing off its magnificent tail feathers. Then... a silver haired green person would call out, "IT HAS A GOLDEN SOUL! IT'S DANGEROUS! KILL IT!" Suddenly everyone would stop admiring it and pull out crossbows. Arrows would twirl through the air striking the bird down. And then... I wake up.

I got out of bed. There was no way I could fall back to sleep now. I approached the long mirror and squinted my eyes, trying to picture them in the body of my red phoenix. This was driving me mad. I had to get out.

I crept down the girls' staircase and tiptoed over to the portrait hole.

"Hey. Goldy." I heard a whisper from the couches and whipped around. It was Sirius.

"Sirius? What are you doing UP?" I asked incredulously.

"I could ask the same question of you, really." He said in a relaxed manner. I dug my toe into the carpet.

"I had a bad dream."

"Really?" He began. I swear to Merlin if he mocked me I would not hesitate to punch him in the face. I opened my mouth to tell him. He must have seen my expression because he quickly added:

"I did too."

"Oh..." I said. "What was yours about?"

He blinked, uncertainly, got up and came over to me. "You want to go for a walk to the astronomy tower? I'm sick of this place."

We quietly left the common room and silently walked down the hall to the Astronomy tower. After a while, Sirius spoke again.

"I dreamed about my brother." He said softly, but there was a bitter, pained edge to his voice. "He was a death eater. Mum and Dad were so proud."

I had known Sirius came from a pureblood, anti-muggle family, but from the way he spoke, it sounded like he really cared about his little brother, Regulus.

"I really don't know what to do, Jaycee." He looked lost. "Regulus is acting more like my parents every day. It used to be that when we were little, he'd listen to me. Now... he treats me like they do."

I looked at him with sympathy. I knew how I'd feel if Emily suddenly started hating me. I don't think I'd be able to cope with that. "Oh Sirius," I said, "That's awful. I'm so sorry."

"I don't know why I'm even telling you this... a week ago you hated me."

"I guess I just have that sort of face?"

He laughed. "Maybe you do..." We walked up the stairs silently, ignoring the portrait of Cadogan's quests and jeers.

"What was your dream about?" He asked when we got to the top. I sat on the stone wall and looked out across the lake. The crescent moon's dim light made it look like black ice.

"I... uh... dreamed about a bird..." Oh crap. I hadn't meant to tell him the truth! What could I say now? A nightmare about a bird? Really?

"Oh yeah? What happened?" He sat next to me on the little wall.

"Um... n-nothing...just-uh..." I stuttered.

"You can tell me. I won't tell anyone. I promise." His grey, blue flecked eyes were full of the deepest sincerity.

"It was a phoenix-" I started.

When I had finished he said, "That's really sad." And looked at the stars.

"Yeah" I replied. After a few moments of comfortable silence I said, "You know you were named after a star right? Sirius? It's by Orion's belt. Part of the dog constellation. Brightest star in the sky."

"I knew I was a star, but I didn't know all that stuff too. That's really cool. How do you know that?" He searched the sky, looking for the brightest of the stars.

"Back before I became freaky, dad would take me camping. He'd show me all the stars. My first memory ever is him pointing out the Sirius star saying, 'friends are like stars. They all shine brightly, some shine more brightly than others, but there's always one or two like Sirius. The brightest in the sky.'" I smiled at how ironic this statement was. Sirius chuckled.

"You betcha. That's me. Brightest star in the sky!"

"You wish" I gave him a little push.

"HEY! Don't push when we're sitting like 50 feet in the air!" He gasped, terrified out of his wits. I laughed.

The sun spilt light over the horizon. Gold, pink, orange and red streaked across the sky and the stars were fading away slowly. The giant orange ball began to slowly appear. I had to squint my eyes in order to appreciate how beautiful it was.

"Wow." We breathed at the same time.

"Remus is a werewolf, isn't he." Sirius said, still looking at the sun. I jumped. There was nothing I could say to that.

"It's ok, Goldy, I know. So does James. I'm not sure Peter's figured it out yet. I also know you know. Don't think James and I didn't notice how late you two were to charms the day after Uwick talked to us about werewolves. Not to mention you practically didn't separate the whole lesson and your eyes were all puffy."

"My eyes were not puffy."

"They so were."

I opened my mouth to retaliate but he cut me off.

"Jace... could you, like, tell him we know? And that we'll never stop being his friends? Please?" He looked so much more mature than a 12 year old boy.

"Are you sure you're only 12?" I questioned jokingly.

"Excuse me, I'm a bloody teenager! 13, thank you very much. I'm older than all of you." I laughed out loud at his reaction.

"No you're not. I turned 13 in October. October 13, actually."

"HAH. I _am_ older than you. I turned 13 October 10."

"Three days! As if that counts."

"It so does."

We stopped talking and he looked at me questioningly. "So?" He said. "Will you tell him?"

"Sure, Sirius."

I wanted to stay up there forever, watching the sun rise with my new friend, but unfortunately we had to go and get ready for school. Mary, Lily and Alice were probably wondering where I was.

V V V V V V V V V V V V

In Divination, a class only Remus , Peter, Alice and I took, instead of sitting next to Alice, like I always did, I pulled Remus into the pouf beside me.

"JACE! We always sit together!" Alice walked through the door and put her hands on her hips. I tilted my head towards Remus and raised an eyebrow, signalling that I needed to talk to him badly. She received my signal and nodded once to let me know.

"What the heck was that?" Remus asked.

"We're girls. We have a special language." I replied nonchalantly.

Professor Sinistra airily walked in, late as usual.

"My inner eye senses discord in the room." She sniffed around. I looked at Remus, he was doing his very best to retain a straight face. Come to think of it, so was I.

Professor Sinistra looked like a glittery bug. Her hair was always in a bun with bits falling out, huge glasses with jewels encrusted, and about five different coloured shawls covered in beads. She often predicted my death. If I had died the number of times she had predicted, I'd have to be some kind of walking miracle.

"Today we will be reviewing palm reading for your coming exam. I have forseen there will be a large section on it."

I looked sceptical. Remus leaned across and whispered, "And who sets the exams again?"

"Get to it, class. I want someone's life prediction from each of you by the end of the lesson." She clapped her hands in the air, bangles clinking together.

"Right." Remus said, grabbing my hand, "You're going to disappear forever at age 18, fall in love, no kids though." I started giggling.

"What? Disappear then fall in love?"

"I dunno. I'm making this stuff up." He rolled his eyes.

"Rem, Sirius asked me to tell you something. On behalf of himself and James." I stared at the table. There were lots of little bumps of candle wax. I started picking on the biggest one, chipping it off and getting it caught under my nails.

"Yeah? What?"

"Um... Rem... he told me this morning that-" I looked straight in his eyes, "They know. And he also wanted me to tell you that they still want to be your friends, no matter what." I said the last part quickly.

I searched Remus' face for any expression. Anything at all. "Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yeah... yeah..." Came his hoarse reply. "I just realized I was so wrong about everything... I thought they would hate me..."

It pained me to see him looking so sad. I gently picked up his hand and looked at his palm, "You're going to live a full life. Have a little boy and die next to the woman you love. You'll have friends beside you your whole life."

"Thanks Jace. You're the best." He said.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V

Herbology had been a little awkward at first, when Sirius, James and Remus saw eachother first, after I had told Remus they knew. Sirius, as usual, broke the tension. I suppose sometimes his insensitivity came in handy...

"Hey Moony!" He grinned and gave his friend a small push.

"Moony?" I asked. "Really, Sirius?"

"I like it!" James stood up for his friend. Remus just smiled, so happy that he was still accepted even though he was different. It all really made me think hard about my own... secret. I knew, watching the boys with Rem, that no one would care what I was. However there was still this Voldemort character screwing everything up. Dumbledore thought he was serious, who was I to question that?

**WOW 50 reviews and over 2000 hits! I love you guys! You're amazing! Thanks sooo much **

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**klutz5637: I am saying thank you a lot, (because I am very very grateful for all the reviews XD) but to be a little different this time I will say it in French! Merci beaucoup! Loving the penname by the way!**

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	16. The End of Second Year

Ch 16 The End of Second Year _June_

I flung myself on the grass by the great lake by the others and lay on my stomach. We had just completed our final exam for the year, Herbology. We were all enjoying the sunshine and the last day at Hogwarts.

"What did you get for question 16?"

"Lily shut up." Alice lay on her back and put her hands behind her head.

"No seriously. Mary, what about you?"

"Lily shut up." Mary copied Alice and then shut her eyes, soaking in the sun.

"Jace? Answer me!" She pestered.

"Lily shut up about the exams, for the love of Merlin's pants." I picked a dandelion tickling my nose and blew the seeds into Sirius' face.

"OI!" He spluttered. I snickered and threw the stem in the opposite direction.

"Hey petal-" James began.

"DON'T. Say another word." Lily hissed.

"But, love, I was just going to say I think –"

"I don't want to know what you think, Potter."

"Bad luck, mate." Sirius slapped his friend on the back. We girls rolled our eyes.

I watched some older Gryffindors teasing the Giant Squid, which scudded across the lake avoiding tickling charms.

"I don't want to go home." I sighed.

"Me either." Sirius replied.

"But I have to for Emily..."

"Reg..."

We smiled humourlessly.

"I think we should all meet up sometime." Peter offered, twitching his nose. We nodded.

"Right." Alice said, her instinctive nature to plan kicking in. "It'll have to be near the end of holidays. That way we can shop for supplies as well. Plus, it'll be nice to catch up before school goes back. Diagon Alley a week before term?"

Mary laughed, "Don't get ahead of yourself, Al. School only ends tomorrow. We can owl eachother."

I shut my eyes and rolled on my back, blissfully enjoying the warmth. Lily couldn't bear to see my robes covered in grass and spent the rest of the time we sat by the lake picking it off.

V V V V V V V V V V

I sat, practically on Mary's lap, squeezed in next to Remus on the train ride home. The compartments were tiny, but we forced ourselves to fit 8 in. I didn't mind the cramped space though. I just wanted to spend the last hour with my friends before having to face my parents. I knew if they could have it their way, I wouldn't be coming home. I hoped the staying at school over Christmas wasn't going to become a permanent thing. A year away from Emily was really too much.

The train slowly pulled into the station. James waved frantically and Mary pressed her nose against the window, dumping her paper crane on my lap. Everyone except Sirius and I were shifting in their seats to find their families. I looked at the floor. Sirius tapped my foot with his, as a kind of comforting gesture.

After saying goodbye and promising to sort out our get together at the end of the holidays, Sirius and I were abandoned in the excitement to reunite.

"You know... I'm really dreading this summer..." I said.

"Well do you live around London city?"

"Yeah why?"

"So do I. Let's make a pact. If one of us is finding it all too much to take, we'll owl the other and meet up?"

I smiled. Being able to see a friendly face besides my little sister would make it a lot easier to take. "Sure. Sounds good."

He held his hand out. We shook and then grinned.

"Let's go face the music." He said. I looked around. We were two of the last ones left. Dad was going to massacre me for being late. I felt awful for making Emily wait too.

I shuffled along to the parking lot. There was our shiny car, double parked to protect from scratching. I could see Emily through the window. She was grinning ear to ear and waving so hard I wouldn't have been surprised if her arm fell off.

I opened the back door and slid in. "Jace! I missed you so much!" She crawled across the seats and sat in my lap. I wrapped my arms around her.

"Can I tell you a secret?" I asked. She nodded. "I missed you too." She smiled even wider. I kissed her forehead.

I nervously looked in the rear-view mirror. My dad was giving me a disapproving once-over.

"Quiet down. Your mother has a headache." My mother did, indeed, look ill. She was very pale and her hair was much thinner then when I last saw her. When Dad wasn't looking, she slipped her arm behind the seat and patted my knee. I touched her small hand. It was ice cold.

V V V V V V V V V V V

"Jacyee... I need to talk to you..." Emily, holding my hand, said. We were walking down the big driveway to the even bigger house at the end of it. Mum and Dad were walking more slowly behind us.

"Sure, Em. What about?" I puffed, pulling my heavy trunk with the other hand.

"It's really important." She said, panicked, as if I wasn't taking what she had to say seriously.

"Oh, ok. Can we talk about it here?" I tilted my head in the direction of our parents.

"Can we wait until we get to your room?"

I nodded.

Once we dragged the trunk up the very high flight of stairs and down the passage to my bedroom, I picked Emily up, placed her on my bed and sat, crosslegged, facing her.

She breathed in slowly. "Jaycee... we didn't go to France this Christmas."

My heart sank. Of course they hadn't. They just didn't want to see me. Their eldest daughter.

"Mum... mum was in the hospital."

Suddenly, with a sharp inhale, I snapped out of my trance of self-pity. "What's wrong? Is she going to be ok?"

"Jace... she's got lycemia." Emily began welling up. I brushed her tears away with my finger.

"What's lycemia?" I asked.

"You know, cancer? In the blood. The Doctor said... he said-" She sniffed. "He said she had a year at most." She spoke so softly I barely understood. Then. I felt my stomach drop. Leukaemia.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to act. I didn't know whether to hug Emily, who was outright bawling by now, or storm downstairs and confront my father. My emotions were so mixed. I didn't know what to do. Was he even going to tell me my own mother had cancer? And was DYING? I was a part of this family too. My MOTHER had CANCER. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. What were we going to do? What was going to happen? My mum. My mum, who despite everything, I loved. I loved so much it hurt. It hurt when all I got was a pat on the knee after not seeing her for a year. It hurt when she sided with my father. It hurt when she sought me out when he wasn't around. It hurt that she was ashamed of me. But I still loved her. And now she was dying.

My breathing grew erratic. I couldn't focus on anything. I gripped Emily's hand. Tiny black pinpricks blurred my vision.

V V V V V V V V V V V V

"Jaycee?" Someone was tapping my cheek frantically. Where was I? What was going on? I opened my eyes blearily. My sister's long blond hair was falling in my face.

"Emily?" I mumbled. "I had the worst dream. Mum... mum..."

One look at her face and it suddenly all came back to me. I sat up, swooned, and was forced to lie down again. Hot tears sprung to my cheeks. My heart... my heart hurt. I had never felt like this before. I wanted to rip my heart out of my chest to escape the pain.

I eased myself into a sitting position and leaned against my bed. Emily curled up under my arm and cried into my side. I was trying so, so hard to be strong for her. But I couldn't help the silent tears dripping onto the top of her little head.

We sat like that for about an hour. She and I. Crying together. Bound together in grief. I noticed some bruises around Emily's forearm. The sight of them sickened me. The light sprang to my fingers. No focused needed. Its immediate presence shocked me. At my lowest moment, I was able to produce my best magic. Grief, it seemed, honed my healing powers. Dumbledore would probably call it love.

I let the light brush her little arm until the bruises had faded to nothing. She touched where they had been and looked up into my face.

"Wow." She whispered.

The light hadn't ebbed away yet. I looked at it, streaming from my fingertips. My heart skipped a beat. I had what no one else did. A power that could heal. I could heal. My hands began to shake. I had to find mum.

"MUM! MUM!" I tripped down the stairs. Running as fast as I could. "MUM!"

She was sitting in the living room, laid out on the couch with two blankets covering her fragile frame.

"Mum." I quietly walked towards her. Being in the presence of such a sick person made me wary. She blinked when she saw me, but said nothing. "Let me fix you." I held out my hand, breathless.

Her eyes widened and she retreated into the couch, afraid.

"Please Mum. I might be able to help you."

She bit her lip, neither questioning how I knew or apologizing for not telling me herself. A brief wave of red hot anger washed over me, but it soon faded. You couldn't stay angry at a dying person for long, no matter the infraction.

"GET OUT of here!" My dad crashed through the door of the study, entering the living room. He harshly pushed me towards the stairs, eyes clouded with despise.

"DAD WAIT! I... I can help her." We both watched as my index finger began to glow. I looked up from the finger and stared directly into his eyes. He quickly looked away, back to his wife. After some careful consideration, he stepped backwards, letting me get closer to her. My heart was beating so quickly. My hands were sweaty and shaking. I had never tried to cure a disease before. What if it didn't work?

I saw Emily crouched at the top of the stairs. Watching. Her eyes were wide, terrified something might go wrong. But deep below the surface of her almost black eyes, I saw something else. Something that might have been hope. Her lips moved soundlessly, as if she were begging for this to work. I couldn't fail. I had to fix her. I had to fix her for Emily.

I held out my palm, glowing with golden light. She looked at me nervously, not understanding my powers, therefore not agreeing with them. I placed my hand on her heart and closed my eyes, waiting. Please work. Please work. Please work. Those two words burned through my mind. Please work. I left the hand there for a minute. Once she began to get drowsy I removed it faster than the speed of light. I heard dad sharply inhale, waiting. I glanced up and saw Emily gripping the bars of the banister so tightly her knuckles were white. I realized I had been holding my breath the entire time. We both looked at Mum, waiting. Waiting for something.

But nothing happened. She didn't get up and walk about. She didn't regain any colour. She didn't smile. She just lay there. Pale and desolate.

It hadn't worked.

"YOU USELESS FREAK!" He turned on me. "YOU'VE DONE NOTHING. YOU ARE A FAILURE. YOU CAN'T EVEN FIX YOUR OWN MOTHER! Get. Out. NOW!" He struck me across the face. I stumbled, reeling from the blow. Tears sprung to my eyes. Emily was gone from the top of the stairs.

It hadn't worked.

"AT LEAST I TRIED SOMETHING!" I yelled back, blind with anger. "AT LEAST I TRIED! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE OTHER THAN KEEP SECRETS, HURT EMILY, AND SIT ON YOUR LAZY ASS ALL YEAR! ANSWER ME!" We stood for several moments, breathing heavily. Both bitterly disappointed. Both consumed with hate and anger.

It hadn't worked.

I was the first to break the silence. "I'm going for a walk." I said slowly and silently. He just stood there. Not reacting. Not even moving. Just standing.

It hadn't worked. My mother was going to die. And there was nothing I could do.

**Stuff picks up in the next few chapters! I think we're finally done with the exposition-y stuff. FINALLY. Now we can get on with the good bits! Which are always fun to write and, hopefully, fun to read XD Also, I'll read anything you guys send me or tell me about. So if you've written something I'd looove to check it out :)**

**Midnightsnitch: I loved your story! I left a review and hope you update soon! Thanks for the very nice review **

**Helmi: Thanks a gazillion! Yeah, I love reading stories that take a while for things to happen, so I'm trying to do it, myself. So happy you think I've managed too! **

**HaRrYpOtTeRlOvEr-94: Oh god, pressure! Haha thanks for the review 3**

**GreyHaru: Nah, it's not really going to happen. It's more of a metaphor. She's just really worried about people finding out about her, is all. Thankeee for another lovely review! **

**Girl-With-No-Name-x: I knowwww! D: I was so sad writing it too. *tear* I love Remus. I really want him to be happy. I should figure something out for him. And thank you! **

**sonofafluffymuffin: I was thinking about going up to 7****th**** year and probs beyond a little further. I have a pretty solid idea of how the plot's working out and about the ending and all that. I've written lists for all the main characters about what's happening to each of them and stuff. Mind, it's still subject to change if I decide something else would be better. Thanks for reviewing! :D**


	17. The Surprise

Ch 17 The Surprise _August_

_I walked to the middle of London that day. I asked everywhere for the address of the Blacks. Nowhere and no one had ever heard of them. I bitterly wished I had thought to send Mouse first. All I had wanted was someone to cry to. In the end, I caught the tube home at around 9pm, having walked for miles. The journey was a lot tougher on the way back. No one except Emily even realized I had spent a good 6 or 7 hours walking. _

I sat, with Emily, up the tree planted in our garden. I had given her a twig and was teaching her spells. Even though she couldn't do anything, she desperately wanted to learn.

"EXPELLIUS!" She said forcefully. I interpreted this to mean 'expelliarmus' and threw my wand in the air. She laughed and caught it. I wished we were allowed to use magic out of school. She kept begging me to use real magic and if not for that rule, I would have shown her everything.

A snowy white owl landed on the branch next to mine. It had a letter attached to its leg. Cooing softly, it held out the leg with the letter. Emily was infatuated with such a pure white bird. It nipped her finger and she squealed. I removed the letter and read:

_Dear Goldy, _

_Help me please. I need to get away so badly. Can I come to yours?_

_Sirius_

"Emily?" The little girl looked up from the white owl. "We have to go inside now, ok?" She nodded, let the owl perch on her arm and skidded down the trunk of the tree. I held my breath as she got down. I would always be wary of her in trees. After she got down safely, I followed suit.

In my room, I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen.

_Dear Sirius,_

_Of course. It would do me good to see someone too. 45 The Bishop's Avenue. Come whenever._

_JAYCEE (not Goldy...)_

V V V V V V V V V V V V V

_Tap... Tap... Tap_

"Uhhh..." I groaned, sat up and looked at the alarm clock on my bed. 3:40am. "Noooo..." I frowed and rolled over. I would NEVER be able to get back to sleep now.

_Tap... Tap... Tap_

Infuriated, I swung my legs out of my nice warm bed and into the fuzzy purple slippers I had set out before I fell asleep. I hated putting my feet on the cold wooden floor in the mornings.

"Mouse, I swear to Merlin, if that's you, I'm actually going to pluck each and every feather out of your irritating body. " I made the 2 metre trek from the bed to the window. It was pitch black outside.

_Tap... Tap... Tap_

I jumped back in shock. Someone was throwing rocks at my window. I opened the top bit of the floor to ceiling windows and craned my neck over the sill. My eyes were still adjusting to the dark and I couldn't see who it was. The person obviously hadn't noticed my head because a small pebble hit me hard, directly in the nose.

"OW!" I shouted, quickly pulling my head back in and rubbing my nose. "STOP CHUCKING STUFF AT ME!" I yelled down.

"SHIT did that hit you?" A voice faintly called back.

"YES." I spat.

"Sorry!" The voice called. I looked back out the window. It was Sirius.

"Merlin..." I sighed.

"Will you let me up?" He called.

"Go to the front door." I yelled down.

Tiptoeing past Emily's bedroom, I crept down the large staircase, through the living room, down the grand hallway and to the front door.

"Sirius?" I hissed.

"Yeah, I'm here." He tapped on the door quietly. It creaked open. I gasped when I saw the state of him. He was covered in cuts and bruises, hair matted with blood, one black eye and a swollen lip.

"Sirius..." I breathed in shock. Crap what _happened_?" I pulled him inside.

"Um... well..." He started.

"No wait. Come to my room first. I don't want my family to see you here." I pointed up the stairs to my room. The door was ajar.

"Usually I'd make a comment about you asking me to your room... but in the current situation..." He trailed off.

"Only you could even think about making a joke looking like you've just been beat within an inch of your life." I mumbled.

He laughed to himself. "That's me"

Passing the bathroom, I paused and looked at his hair and skin. He was absolutely filthy.

"You need a shower really badly." I said. "There are towels in the left cupboard at the top, ok? I also think there are some spare pyjamas too. They'll be really big on you cause they're my dad's old ones, but what can we do? Be really quick and then come to my room. It's the second to the right at the end of the hall."

I grabbed some antiseptic and bandaids before letting him have the bathroom to himself. It was my first instinct, of course, to heal him with my power. The only problem was where Dumbledore knew I had told Remus, he made me swear not to tell _anyone_ else because of Old Mouldy-Voldy. End of story.

I sat on the bed, crosslegged, with the bandages and antiseptic in front of me. I fingered the tube, feeling like I was making the weak decision.

When Sirius tiptoed in, I couldn't help laugh silently. He looked ridiculous in pants and a t-shirt about three sizes too big. He made a face and climbed up on the bed to sit in front of me.

"Ok. This is called antiseptic." I held out the white, half empty tube.

"What's it for?" He looked fascinated.

"It makes sure cuts don't get infected. And these are called plasters, or some people call them bandaids. The cover cuts and stuff so no dirt gets in." I squeezed some antiseptic on my finger and dabbed it on his arm.

"OW! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS STUFF?" He swatted my hand away.

"It'll HELP you. Shut up and let me disinfect your cuts." I rolled my eyes.

"Why can't we just use Dittany?" He complained.

"This is a muggle house so we use muggle medicine. Now quiet! You'll wake everyone up."

In the end, he grudgingly let me put the antiseptic on. When I was done we sat silently for a few minutes.

"You know..." I said. "When I told you could come anytime, I didn't really mean 4 in the morning."

"Anytime means anytime to me. Plus, I couldn't stay there; they'd have probably killed me." He looked down. I patted his hand gently to comfort him. "I had nowhere else to go. James is on holiday in America and Remus and Peter live too far away."

"It's ok," I squeezed his hand and let go. "I don't really mind. I'm glad you came here rather than wandering the streets of London looking like you've been mugged."

"It was my parents..." He said softly, winding a loose thread from the pyjama pants around his pinkie finger.

I couldn't find anything to say. My dad had hit me a few times, but never so much that I bruised and bled like that. I wracked my brains to come up with anything at all. I was so bad at this stuff.

"I'm so sorry Sirius." I bit my lip.

"It's not your fault." He grunted. "We were fighting about 'The Dark Lord.' They just kept going on and on and on about how great he was and how they were signing up immediately to become death eaters and they hoped Regulus and I would be brave enough to join them." He was getting angry. "I couldn't help but tell them what I thought. How cruel and despicable _Voldemort_ was. I told them I knew lots of muggleborns and they were much nicer that half the purebloods I knew... that's when dad cursed me." His breathing was course. Fists clenched.

Not knowing what else to say, I came up with, "You hungry?"

He guffawed, relaxing instantly. "How did you know?"

"Lucky guess?" I smiled and hopped off the bed, heading for the floorboards next to the dresser. Four down, three to the right. There was a loose one which held all my chocolate, school books, and anything else to do with magic.

I tossed him a packet of M&Ms ® and grabbed a snickers bar for myself. He inspected the packet thoroughly, forgetting all about his parents and his fight.

"Having fun?" I sniggered.

"Uh huh..." He said absentmindedly. "What is it?"

"They're M&Ms®. You MUST have heard of M&Ms®!" Who hasn't heard of M&Ms®?

He cautiously opened the packet and placed a blue one on his tongue.

"They're kind of cool! All different colours." He tipped them out on the bed and put them into color coded piles. I laughed. I did that too.

"Hey! You had better be trying out for Quidditch this year! With all that practice we did." He suddenly exclaimed.

"Sirius... we practiced like... once."

"But still. I'm doing it! So's James. We might even get Remus to try out. Come on. Pleeeeeeaaaase" He begged. I sighed.

"FINE. I'll try out for your bloody Quidditch team..."

He grinned and gave me the thumbs up. I looked at the clock. It was 6am already.

"Eh, uh... Sirius? I don't mean to be rude or anything-" I was trying to put this delicately.

"You want me to leave before your parents wake up. I know. I was thinking I should start back anyway. It took me ages to walk here from Grimmauld Place."

My jaw dropped. "You _walked_?" He scratched his head, clearly unaware there was a fully functional tube just under his feet. I hopped off the bed and counted some muggle money from off my desk.

"Take this. It'll be enough to buy you a ticket for the underground." He opened his mouth, probably to ask what an underground was. "It's this train that goes under the ground." I said, voice dripping with sarcasm, "There are stations all around London. Have you NEVER wondered what those red and blue circles are?"

"Ahh... well... usually I don't walk around London. I stick to my neighbourhood."

I rolled my eyes. "Ok. The closest tube station is Highgate. High-gate. Can you remember that?"

"I'm not stupid, Goldy. Highgate. Easy. Where do I get off?"

"Uhh..." I rummaged through the papers and other stuff on top of my desk until I found a crumpled map of the London Underground. I handed it to him. "You said Grimmauld Place? That looks near Temple Place. So the closest station to you would be Temple, yeah?"

"Highgate to Temple. Got it." He tapped his head.

"It's more complicated than that. You need to get on and off different lines." He stared blankly at me. I patiently explained how the underground worked and drew a line from my station to his, indicating which stations he needed to get off and on at.

"Ok. I think I got it. Highgate station which is on the... Northern?"

I nodded.

"Yeah the Northern line. Stay on the tube until Moorgate station where I switch to the Circle line because it's in the shape of a circle! And that's take me straight to Temple Station. Did I get it?"

"You got it." I patted him on the back. Grasping the underground was a very complicated task and he had pulled it off in less than half an hour. "Keep the map. I've pretty much got it down to memory now." He said thanks and I walked with him back to the front door. The sky had only just started to lighten and was now an almost light blue, rather than deep black. The air was crisp, a sure sign winter was on its way. I waved as he limped down the street, leg obviously still aching a little. Once he had turned the corner I shut the door and crept back up to my room. It was 7am when I finally fell back asleep, completely wiped out.

**Thanks so much for the overwhelming response to the last chapter! Wowie! I was over the moon! Keep it up, you're all incredibly amazing! :D (This will be a long A/N, just read the next line if you can't be bothered reading the whole thing)**

**PS **_**Midnightsnitch**_** has just started a fic about Lily and James called Seeing Red. It's really really good, you should check it out!**

**Helmi: No problem :D I love writing this story sooo much, I never want to stop updating! Thanks for reading**

**GreyHaru: Thanks so much, that means a lot to me **** You make me feel like a real writer!**

**Midnightsnitch: I'm so glad I read it! It was really good. You must update soon! And thanks for the nice review XD**

**HaRrYpOtTeRlOvEr-94: Jaycee's power only extends to wounds and the like. She can't fix what's gone wrong with inside, if you catch my drift. She's kind of like a huge bottle of Essence of Dittany. Thanks for the review **

**Sonofafluffymuffin: I love getting your reviews! They're always so long and full of stuff. For the bit about why she couldn't heal her mum, see above. I know how you feel though. I wish she could fix her mum. **** I have a general plotline and everything kind of depends on everything else. Does that make sense? But yeah, unfortunately... *trails off before giving away too much*Thanks a squil for the review!**

**TWHATT18: Thanks so much! I've only rated this T so I can't put in too much gore, but I think we can all see where this is headed... sadly **

**CatAnne78: Thanks so much for reading AND reviewing! :D I laughed so much when I read your review. I'm glad you liked it **

**Girl-With-No-Name-x: I know, huh! He's so grrrrrrr... *slaps self for inventing evil characters* Thanks for the review though!**

**RMH RMH: Yeah, her Dad's just scared. And he's confused. Which is no excuse, but still, some people are weak characters. Thank you thank you for reviewing!**


	18. The Train

Ch 18 The Train _September_

I lugged my heavy bags behind me desperately trying to reach Mary, Lily and Alice. My eyes were still red and damp from an emotional goodbye with Mum. I knew today would probably be the last time I ever saw her. Dad had told me not to come back for Christmas. That was originally what set me off. I was devastated, banking on those holidays as being able to say a last goodbye to Mum. Now, even that was taken away from me. She didn't say anything when I hugged her, but my shoulder grew damp and her arms twitched when I let go, like she didn't want me to. It felt like my heart was being wrenched from my body as I walked through the gateway to Platform 9 ¾. Everything was going to change this year. I was terrified of what I would be coming home to at the end of the year.

"Jaycee?" Mary saw me first. Her lips parted when she noticed my teary eyes. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah... I'm fine." I said in a husky voice. I cleared my throat. "I'm fine." I said normally, "Just going to miss Emily, is all." I didn't really want to talk about my mother to anyone except Lily. She was the only one out of all of my friends that would understand what cancer was.

We boarded and searched for a compartment. Once we had settled in and the train was on its way, I asked Lily if I could talk to her outside for a minute. Mary and Alice looked a bit hurt, but I knew they couldn't possibly understand. And I needed someone who did.

"I'm sorry guys. It's kind of a muggle thing. You... wouldn't really get it." I explained.

Lily and I sat at the end of the carriage, backs against the door.

"What's up Jace?" She asked. I felt myself welling up already. I knew there was no point trying not to cry, and let it all out.

"My m-m-mum has-" I sobbed, "c-c-" _sharp inhale_ "cancer."

Her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh God, Jaycee." She brought the same hand up to her forehead.

"I-I k-know." _Gasp_ "And" _Breath_ "D-d-dad isn't l-l-letting me" _sob_ "c-come home." I cried and cried until I could hardly breathe anymore. My throat was constricting and I was involuntarily hyperventilating. Red in the face from lack of oxygen, I tried to signal to Lily that I was having something of a fit. Short sharp breaths that didn't quite reach my lungs and I began to hiccough. They were so often I couldn't finish a single breath. I was starting to feel lightheaded.

"Jaycee?" Her eyes widened, panicked. "Jaycee! Calm down. Breathe. Breathe. Jaycee! Shhhhh" She rubbed my back slowly. The quick breaths were subsiding, the hiccoughs were coming at slower intervals and I could think clearly again. She hugged me tightly and I moaned with grief into her shoulder.

"What am-_hic_- I going to do?" My voice cracked. "Lily _-hic-_ Please! Help." Tears started up again.

"Honey... I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry. This is awful." She sniffed, trying not to cry herself.

"It's ok -_hic-_ You don't have to be strong for me." I whispered, breathless from almost passing out. The second these words left my lips, I felt tears leak from her oval shaped green eyes.

"I love you, Lily. Thank you -_hic_- so much for being here for me." I sniffed. There was a pain in my chest that wasn't going away.

"I love you too, Jace. I'll always be here for you. No matter what." She rubbed her eyes with her T-shirt. "You should have some water." She conjured a glass and filled it with water. I drank the whole thing, almost completely calm. The hiccoughs had finally gone away. We stayed there, at the end of the carriage for almost an hour. Me, sniffing and shaking slightly. She, stroking my hand comfortingly.

"I-I don't know what to do..." I finally said. "I've never been so... not in control." I whispered. And it was true. I had never had something that I couldn't fix before. And it was killing me. I put my hand to my chest.

"Why isn't it going away? The pain? Is there something wrong with me?" A fresh wave of tears started up again. I was at my weakest and most vulnerable. But I had Lily.

"Jaycee. I promise. There is nothing wrong with you. And... only time can take that away." She wrapped her arms around me and I leaned against her shoulder.

"I know..." I croaked, wiping the tears away and rubbing my eyes.

"If you want to stay here, I understand. I'll stay with you. It's just... we're almost at Hogwarts. We should probably change." She rubbed my arm, kindly.

"Yeah... yeah... let's go change." She got up and held out a hand to pull me up too. We linked arms and walked to the bathrooms.

I looked at myself in the mirror. Utterly serene, If a little red-eyed. It looked as if my little 'episode' had never happened. And that was the way I wanted it.

We stood outside the compartment. "You should tell them." Lily urged. "If it were you, you'd want to know."

"I know... but I... can't do that again." I whimpered. She gave me an encouraging smile.

"The first time doing something is always the hardest. It'll be easier now. I promise."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Okay."

V V V V V V V V V V

We walked into the great hall together. They were all clustered around me, protecting my red eyes and nose from the outside world. Lily had lied. The second time was just as painful as the first. But I did feel better now. The pain in my chest had eased a little. And the others had been so understanding. I loved them to the ends of the earth.

"Goldy?" Sirius saw the state I was in from the moment he and the others had sat down.

"Jace." Remus said, "Merlin... are you alright?"

James and Peter looked flabbergasted. Fair enough, I thought. Not everyone could handle four emotional girls. I looked at Lily.

"Her mother has cancer. It's an incurable, fatal disease in the muggle world. Jaycee will... probably never see her again..." She whispered, biting her bottom lip, trying her hardest not to cry again. James reached out and held her hand, comforting her. She smiled at him. He blinked in shock, but stayed cool, doing everything he could not to screw this up.

"Yes. _Completely _incurable." I gave Remus a look. He widened his eyes, showing that he understood.

"We're all really sorry, Goldy." Sirius said sadly.

"I know... thanks guys. You're all so great." I smiled.

Dumbledore stood up at the front of the hall and cleared his throat. "Welcome back!" His voice boomed around the hall. "I hope we have all had a good summer and are ready for another year of magical education. Before I inform you of some notices, we will begin with the sorting."

The first years seemed even smaller this year than the last. We clapped politely as each little boy or girl was assigned a house. I was especially intrigued by two boys, twins presumably, that were sorted into Gryffindor. They were Fabian and Gideon Prewett. I leaned across to Alice and asked if she was related.

"Prewett is a common name. They look more like Molly Prewett than they do me. _They're_ probably related." She stated.

"Did you know she and Arthur were made Head boy and girl?" Lily informed us.

"Oh yeah! I heard that on the train. And they're going out now too! Isn't that exciting!" Mary chattered. We nodded. It was, indeed, exciting.

"Excellent. I sincerely hope, first years, that you will enjoy your time at Hogwarts." Dumbledore smiled his famous 'twinkling eyes' smile. "For some start of year notices. Quidditch tryouts this year will be held next Saturday for all houses. Contact your Captain to find out the times your house will be trying out. Filch has asked me to let you know that the list for banned objects in the castle has reached 56 and if anyone would like to see it, it is pinned to his door." Sirius and James smirked. They had clearly been responsible for some items added to the list. "Professor Uwick has quit and Professor Donaldson will be taking his place." We clapped loudly, thankful that that horrible man was gone. "Now, some graver news. I am sure most of you here are aware of a certain dark wizard that has recently come to power. Lord Voldemort."

Sirius narrowed his eyes with hatred. A lot of people gasped. The Daily Prophet had taken to referring to him as "You- Know- Who." I thought this was the stupidest thing ever. People would just get even more scared and irrational about this guy if the media and ministry were afraid of uttering his _name_.

"I cannot tell you enough how seriously we must take him and his intentions. There have been many muggle killings and even some killings of witches and wizards that refused to stand with him." He sought me out and raised his eyebrows. I knew he was providing further warning to keep the truth a secret.

"Keep yourselves safe. And your loved ones. For love is the one conqueror of death and fear." He bowed his head and sat down at the staff table. Food sprang to the silver serving plates along the house tables. But as good as it all looked; I could barely eat more than a mouthful. My stomach was twisting and tying itself into knots. The only two things I could think about were my mother and Voldemort. It was enough to turn anyone off food.

**I know, a little short, but the next couple are quite long. Especially chapter 21. That one's an epic length, I promise. Thanks to everyone adding my story to favourites and alerts! It means a lot to me **** And to those of you who've added me as your favourite author. The only thing I can say is... Wow. That is probably one of the highest compliments I've ever received. I'd like to give **_**Sonofafluffymuffin**_** a shout out, as she's given me some great ideas for the future of this story! Thanks a ton. Also, everyone must go and read **_**CatAnne78**_**'s fic about the Next Generation. It's really really good, I'm loving it! **_**D. Meadowes**_** has written a fic called An Unfamiliar Melody. It is honestly one of the best one's I've ever read. **_**Midnightsnitch**_** has just started a story, too. Seeing Red. I can tell it's going to be great! She's writing the second chapter now. Everyone must go and read that too! **

**I've decided, if I get a lot of reviews, instead of replying to them here, I'll PM everyone with an account. Or else my A/Ns will be as long as my chapters! Thanks for making that within the realms of imagination! :D**


	19. The Tryouts

Ch 19 The Tryouts _September_

"GOLDY! GOOOOOOLDYYYY!"

"What the hell?" Mary sat up in bed.

"God, that boy is such an idiot!" I cursed, swinging my legs around.

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOLDYYY!"

"JAYCEE just go and see what he bloody wants! He'll wake the whole dorm!" Alice said, covering her head with a pillow.

"I'm going. I'm going... Calm down." I put on my slippers and slouched down the stairs.

"GOOOOLDDD-"

"Sirius! SHUT UP." He was standing at the bottom of the stairs. I shoved him with as much force as I could. "You have pretty much woken the WHOLE tower, you idiot!"

"Hey! No pushing. Quidditch trials today! You have to get a move on or we'll-" He paused.

"What?" I asked, confused. "Sirius?" He looked totally spaced out. I realized he was staring at my legs as if he'd never seen them before. I felt my cheeks warm and suddenly regretted wearing short shorts down to the common room. I waved my hand in front of his face and I raised my eyebrows.

"Wha- oh...right. Yeah. Late. We'll be late..." He blushed. This was really weird...

"Uh... ok... I'll go change then..." I said slowly, walking up back up to the dorm. What the hell had just happened?

V V V V V V V V V V V V

James, Sirius and I made our way down to the Quidditch pitch. Sirius acted like 'the leg incident' had never even happened and I was grateful for that.

"So Moony decided not to try out..." James said. I could tell he was very disappointed. Exceedingly so.

"Awww James, don't be toooo sad." I giggled. "Maybe next year." He scowled.

The closer we got to the pitch, the more nervous I was becoming. I hadn't really done much practice. What if everyone laughed at me? What if I swung to hit a bludger and missed? What if I fell off?

Sirius, reading my thoughts, nudged me and said, "You'll be great. You're probably the best Beater I've ever seen... besides me of course." He winked.

"Oh for the love of Merlin." I nudged him back. "You're such an idiot."

"At least I'm a cute idiot!" He grinned.

"Yeah... you're adorable..." I said in a monotone. We rounded the last corner. My jaw dropped. There were SO many people. Surely not that many people wanted to be on the Gryffindor Quidditch team? Surely not that many people were IN Gryffindor! Even James looked a bit worried.

We reported to the Captain, Andrew Wood. James signed up for Keeper and Sirius and I put our names down for Beaters. We searched for a space on the stands to sit.

"OK!" Wood yelled. "FIRST OF ALL. Anyone who is not IN GRYFFINDOR and not TRYING OUT, GET THE HELL OFF MY PITCH!"

There was a seemingly mass exodus from the stands, of snickering, embarrassed students. I felt relieved when only about 50 people stayed behind.

"That's better." Wood looked at the signup sheets. "Chasers and Keepers first, then. I'll be one of the chasers so we'll trial you two at a time. And we'll have a Keeper up there too. Chris Johnson and Rick Everett as chasers. James Potter as Keeper."

"Good luck, mate!" Sirius clapped him on the back. I nodded, too nervous to speak.

We watched as they began to play. Wood flew with such ease it looked as if he had been born on a broom. Johnson was pretty good too. Pretty good looking as well, I couldn't help but notice. And he was a fifth year. Everett... could have been better. I couldn't watch and buried my face in Sirius' shoulder when the ball got to James.

"Don't be such a scaredy cat!" Sirius said, fixated on the game. "Look see, he's stopped it." I looked up, excitedly. James had caught the ball by his fingertips it seemed. He stopped all five shot attempts and when Wood flew back down I could see he was impressed. We went through screeds of hopeful chasers and keepers. None had been as good as James though. Brianne Bell was quite a promising Chaser, however.

"Beaters now!" Wood shouted up to the stands. There were six of us. Sirius, myself, a boy in fifth year called Geordie McLaggen, two girls in sixth year who I didn't know, and a little boy from second year.

"We need our beaters to be able to work well together. Like a team. So pair off and we'll try you out."

I nodded at Sirius and he gave me thumbs up.

"McLaggen and Westly." I couldn't help giggling. It was such an odd team. McLaggen was huge and Westly was only tiny. Unfortunately McLaggen was actually quite good. He was accurate and managed to shoot a Bludger through the left hoop.

Sirius and I were next. We grinned, ready. I looked enviously at Sirius' Nimbus and back to the school's old Shooting Star. I wished I had a broom. That would be the coolest thing ever.

Once up in the air I could tell that Sirius and I were a perfect Beaters' partnership. We could almost sense where the other was and knew exactly what the other was doing. I passed the Bludger too him and sped along to the goal posts, where Wood was attempting to score. He whacked the black ball back to me and I hit it towards Wood. He had to do a roll on his broom and cling on possum style. In the mean time, Sirius had saved the Bludger and whacked it through the middle hoop.

We landed and high-fived. Wood flew down after us, looking tired out.

"You guys are good. I've never broken a sweat in trials before." He nodded and wrote something on his board. "SEEKERS!"

We grinned at eachother and climbed back onto the stands to watch the Seekers try out.

"You guys were great!" James said.

"Well..." I began, modestly.

"Goldy and I. No better team around. We'll crush the guts out of Slytherin!"

I rolled my eyes. "McLaggen was quite good, though."

"Nah! He was nowhere near as good as you guys. And he's bloody arrogant." He whispered out the side of his mouth.

"SEEKERS GET OUT HERE!"

There were only a few of them. Most people, it seemed, were trying for Chaser or Keeper. I had my eye on a very little girl. She must have been only about second year. I liked the look of her already. I could tell she was fast.

When trials began, I realized I had been very right. She was incredibly fast. She caught every single golf ball Wood threw to her without even missing a beat. Ravenclaws began trickling in to the stands. Our window for try outs was clearly over. The Captain of their team, a very pretty girl who I had only ever seen around the halls went up to Wood who blushed when he saw her.

"Awww! Guys look! Wood's got a crush on the Ravenclaw captain." I prodded James and Sirius and smiled. It was so cute.

"Um... woo." James said, not very interested. Sirius only shrugged. Boys sometimes! I wished Mary was here, she'd understand.

When Wood finally managed to pull himself away from the Ravenclaw Captain he called all of the hopefuls to the bottom of the stands. We crowed around him.

"Ok guys. I've pretty much got a team worked out now. You all did a fantastic job for even coming out here at all, so no hard feelings if you don't make it. Keeper-"

James froze.

"James Potter."

His eyes lit up and he did a little jig in place to express his excitement. It was all Sirius and I could do not to break out in hysterical laughter.

"Beaters: Sirius Black and Jaycee Aigleigh."

He pushed me, grinning like a maniac. I shoved him back, also grinning like I had just received a lifetime supply of Chocolate Frogs.

"Chasers: Brianne Bell, Chris Johnson, and me."

I smiled across the huddle at Brianne, who was looking happier than I had ever seen her.

"Seeker will be Ria Bellary" He flipped the papers back over on his board and smiled widely at us. "First practice Wednesday at 6. Everyone must be there. Thanks guys. Congrats."

We happily headed to the Great Hall. It was already 11 and none of us had eaten.

"You were so good, James! The way you blocked that last one! That was insane! And Sirius, you and I are like the perfect team! We were like connected! That was so cool! Thanks for forcing me to like Quidditch!" I babbled, completely high on adrenaline.

The boys laughed. "I told you we'd convert you." James said smugly.

"Oh shush! Now let's go eat! I'm starving!"

I didn't stop smiling for the rest of the day. For the first time in weeks. I was happy! So even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop smiling. Even when Malfoy hexed my teeth to two feet long. I skipped happily to the hospital wing to get them shrunk. Even when McGonagall yelled at me for, ironically, yelling in the hallway. I giggled and told her I had learned from the best. Even when she took 20 points from Gryffindor. I shrugged and decided to answer a couple questions on Monday.

But that night, I got a letter from Emily. About Mum. She was not getting better. In fact, she was getting worse. Emily said that the Doctors (or "Duckters" as she called them in her letter) told Dad that she was a lot weaker than she was last time they saw her. That she had lost some energy.

And I know it was my fault. It had to be. There was no other explanation. This was my fault. I had drained her energy. I had sped up the process of my own mother's death. I stopped smiling then. But I didn't cry. I had been crying so much lately, I felt all cried out. I just sat in the common room. On my favourite couch. And stared into space. Blank face. Emotionless. Holding Emily's letter.

I didn't even flinch when Rem sat next to me. I didn't move when he removed the letter from my hand and read it. I only exhaled a long, shuddery breath. He knew exactly what I was thinking. He knew I had tried to save her with the light... and had failed. He knew.

"Jacycee, listen to me." He whispered and put his arm around my shoulders. "This isn't your fault. Please believe me." I looked him directly in the eye.

"There's no other explanation."

"It's cancer, Jace. It weakens people. That's what it does. This isn't _your_ doing. It's the sickness."

"I'm a Vigorater. I drain energy. That's what_ I_ do. If I use the light to long... I drain away both my and whatever poor person I'm attempting to save's energy. That's why the ministry are afraid of my kind" I paused. "I did this."

He held me tighter when I began to shake. "Shh... It's ok. We're all here for you. We're all here."

"She's going to die, Rem. Don't shake your head like that... you know it's true. Don't lie. We never lie to eachother."

"I'm sorry. I just... I just don't know what to say." He frowned. I didn't say anything.

Mary crashed through the common room door with a look of pure hilarity etched onto her face. I shrugged Remus' arm off from around me as she collapsed in laughter next to us.

"You- will-not BELIEVE what I just saw!" She exploded.

Remus and I looked at eachother, confused.

"Sirius Black and Clara Hartworth in a broom closet!" She waited for us to react. When we didn't react in quite the same way, she tutted and continued.

"Together!" She widened her eyes. "It's just so funny! Who would want to snog Sirius Black?" She snickered. Remus rolled his eyes when I giggled, myself, forgetting about what I had done for a moment.

"Oh come on, Rem. She's right. It's pretty funny." I stuck my tongue out when he slapped my arm and said I was being rude.

That boy never failed to confuse me. This morning he was staring at my legs and then he goes and snogs a ditzy bimbo in a broom closet. He _was_ almost 14 now. But still... Too young to be a sex fiend?

**Thanks for reeeaading! Don't forget to click that adorable little review button **** Remember to check out **_**CatAnne78**_**, **_**Midnightsnitch**_**, and **_**D. Meadowes**_** stories! All three are brilliant! I have changed my mind about replying to reviews by PM. So much effffooorrttttt. I'm prone to change my mind quite often, actually. I'm a bit of a lazy person **

**.Black: Thank you so much for that! That's so so so nice of you. I've said it before and I'm willing to bet I'll say it again, but comments like that really make me feel like a writer! XD**

**Midnightsnitch: I'm sooo glad you love Jaycee! I love her too, and don't think I'll ever be able to stop writing about her. This is another comment that actually made my heart swell like a balloon. Thank you a gazillion times for the happiness **** And I can't WAIT to read your chapter, the first one was brilliant!**

**GreyHaru: Thanks for another amazing review! Love youuu!**

**Girl-With-No-Name-x: I totally get what you mean. If only they weren't fictional :'( Thanks for reviewing!**

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	20. The Dress Code

Ch 20 The Dress Code _October_

I was looking forward to my birthday this year for three reasons. One, it was on a Saturday, my favourite day of the week. Two, because Dumbledore promised we would have a 10am-5pm intense Animagi training session. And three, because the full moon was three days before it. Remus would be fully recovered. I felt a bit bad for Sirius, his birthday falling on the actual full moon. He was a bit upset about it too. Actually, a bit upset would be the understatement of the century. He literally had not stopped grumbling all month.

The only problem was that Mary, Lily and Alice were dead set on having a party. They seemed to have had no conception of the term "NO."And once the boys heard about it, they jumped on the bandwagon and made it a joined party. Remus would be able to celebrate too. How was I supposed to say no to that argument? So it looked as if the party would be all go.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V

"What dya think? Gold dress or green?" Alice twirled two drop dead gorgeous dresses around in the air.

"What? We have to wear a dress? No. Way. That is not happening. Ever." I was letting them throw the bloody thing, but I was putting my foot down about dresses.

"Aww Jaaaace. It's the dress code!" Lily complained, changing the colour her bright yellow strapless to a dark green.

"Ok, I'm wearing the gold if you're going to wear the green." Alice decided, "And you are so wearing a dress, Jaycee Aigleigh. You're wearing one if we have to petrificus totalus you."

"Um... I don't care. It's my birthday. I'm not wearing a dress. Wrong number. Not happening. Mare! Help me out here!" I begged, throwing a look to Mary, on the bed next to mine, mindlessly flipping through Witch Weekly.

"Huh?" She looked up. "You know, Alice, this magazine is a load of garbage." She chucked it across the room to Alice.

"OI! I payed 7 sickles for that!" Alice retrieved her magazine from the ground.

"What a waste of 7 seven sickles..." Mary grumbled.

"I'm still not wearing a dress." I said firmly.

Mary made a face, "Why would you ever wear a dress, in the first place?"

"They're trying to force me into one for the party on Saturday..." I groaned, "I'd watch out. I'm guessing you're next."

"If they know what's good for them, they won't come anywhere near." She glared at the two. Alice gulped.

"Will you at LEAST wear a skirt?" Lily pulled a denim skirt from her wardrobe that looked too short to even be legal.

"Two inches longer and I'll _consider_ it." I narrowed my eyes. She sighed, admitting defeat, and added two inches on. That was more like it. Now I would be able to actually bend over without flashing the whole world.

"Now... makeup. I was thinking we could do a natural look for you, but with really really red lips." Lily started.

"How's James?" I quickly changed the subject. Skirts were putting a pinkie toe over the line. Makeup? That was completely and utterly terminating said line.

"Why do you guys keep asking me that? He's the same as always. Irritating and obnoxious." Lily rubbed her chin and changed the dress to a light yellow.

"Because you so obviously are in love with him!" I shrieked. "By the way, the green was better."

She changed the colour back. "AS IF I AM, AIGLEIGH."

I winked. "Whatever you say, Lily Billy."

"I'm NOT." She frowned and changed the dress to pink, only to very quickly settle back on the dark green.

"I have Quidditch practice before school, today." I jumped off my bed and grabbed Sirius' present from under it. I had got him a couple share packets of M&Ms® and a little packet of skittles, just to confuse him a bit more.

"Oh hey, will you give him our present now as well?" Mary tossed me a thick book with a red bow on it.

"You got him a book?" I raised an eyebrow at the girls.

"Yeah, just for joke. We reckon, instead of preying on the females of Hogwarts, he should read more." Lily chuckled. Sirius' girlfriends had become something of a standing joke between us. Ever since he snogged Clara last month, there was a different girl hanging off his arm per week. We bet on how long each of them would last. Maria Ellis, current, I expected to last no more than another week now. Lily was kinder and said two. Alice and Mary, less kind, and had given her three days more, tops.

I grabbed the loaner broom the school had given me until I managed to get my own from behind the door and walked down the stairs, whistling happily. Only three more days until I could work on my Animagus again. AND I would be 14!

"Hey Goldy, how're things?" Sirius, leaning against the wall next to the staircase, clicked his fingers. James gave his best mate a shove.

"Stop being a prick." James complained.

"I'm fourteen today. Older than all of you littlies." He grinned the lopsided grin that most of the girls in our year would not stop talking about. I didn't understand what they all thought had changed about him from last June to now.

"Yeah, not for much longer." I smirked. "Oh and if you're going to act like an idiot, I'll just... keep... you're presents." His eyes widened.

"Okokok. I'm normal see!" He spun around. I think he was trying to prove normality? But I wasn't sure...

"When are you ever normal, mate?" James mumbled, walking towards to the portrait hole. I laughed and nodded, following him.

"Here you go. From Mary, Alice, and Lily," I chucked the book behind me; he caught it and jogged to catch up. "By the way. How's Rem doing? I visited him last night. He seemed pretty down about missing today."

"Yeah he's ok. We went over last night. Peter's there now. We're heading back over there after school. Want to come?" James asked.

"Sounds good. I'll bring him some sugar quills. They're his favourites this month." James and I smiled, recounting last month's favourite sweet, acid pops. They were a bloody nightmare.

"What the hell? Keats' Collection? Who the hell is Keats?" Sirius wrinkled his nose at the heavy, hardback.

I rolled my eyes in disbelief. "I can't believe you've never heard of John Keats. He writes poetry?"

He looked at James. "You heard of this guy?" James shook his head.

"Oh Merlin, you guys are hopeless. Anyhow, this one's from me."

He eagerly ripped off the paper and whooped at the sight of three packets of sweets. "You're the best Goldy!"

"I know, I know." I joked, grinning.

When we passed the Great Hall on our way to the pitch, I felt my neck prickle, like someone was looking at me. I surreptitiously glanced over my shoulder and saw Tina Prichard from Ravenclaw giving me evils. She whispered to the girl sitting next to her who also turned and glared at me. Not confusing at all...? Things were just getting weirder and weirder as the term went on.

**This is a bit of a filler, but I promise the next chapter will be very long and have stuff in it. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! 20 CHAPTERS! XD XD XD This is so exciting! Make sure you take the time to look at Midnightsnitch, CatAnne78, and D. Meadowes fics! Also, .Black has been super super nice to me in all her reviews so I thought I'd give her a shout out too. She's got a fanfiction as well called Marauder meets Girl. It's very well-written and soooo good. **

**.Black: As I said above, you've been giving me suuuch nice reviews! I honestly cannot even believe it :D Thank you soo much. I really do love Remus, he's so amazing. (not as amazing as Sirius though XD) **

**Girl-With-No-Name-x: That's why we love him! Haha. Thanks a lot for the review **

**GreyHaruL: Thanks so much for sticking with me for so long! And for the review!**

**Midnightsnitch: That is such a compliment, whoa! Thanks a ton! What are you on about though? You're fantastic! I'm still dying for an update from you! I know, Sirius is a total bum at the moment :/ He'll get better, though **** Thanks again!**

**CatAnne78: I'm glad YOU could see that, even if he can't, the arse. Thanks a hundred times!**

**sonofafluffymuffin: You are so right! But, again, that is why we adore him ;) Well, she doesn't actually realize that she likes him yet, so it doesn't really bug her. And yeah, that's the general idea for the future **** Thanks soooooo much for reviewing! **

**RMH RMH: This is going to be canon, so Lily and James are going to be like this for a while still... *sigh* but what can you do? See above for the Jaycee/Sirius question. Thankeeee for the review! **


	21. The Birthday

_**D. Meadowes, CatAnne78, .Black, and Midnightsnitch **_**all have brilliant fanfics! Honestly, my efforts pale in comparison! Go check them out!**

Ch 21 The Birthday _October_

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD!" Mary bounced on my bed.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY LACY JAYCEE!" Lily shrieked, joining her.

"Yeah... woo... congrats on being born..." Alice looked very tired and a little pissed. I didn't blame her. I had wanted to actually sleep in this morning too.

"Uhhh..." I opened one bleary eye. "Lacy... Jaycee...?"

"Oh Merlin, Jace. You'll know why in a minute..."Mary looked absolutely terrified. Alice stifled a giggle. I rubbed my eyes and sat up.

"PRESENTS!" I clapped happily, waking up instantly. "Gimme gimme gimme!"

"Ahhh... my head." Alice covered her ears.

I made a face. "It's MY birthday. I can yell if I want to. So... PRESENTS PRESENTS PRESENTS!"

"Oh... whoops... I sort of forgot." Mary joked before handing me a ginormous rectangular box. I unstuck the card and read aloud:

_Dear Jace,_

_Happy Birthday! Thanks for being the bestest friend a girl could ask for._

"Nawwwww!" I crowed. Mary hit the side of my head. I gave her a push and kept reading.

_I hope you have a simply splendiferous day and get lots of presents! Oh and I hope Lily and Alice's presents don't scare you too much. _

_Love, _

_Mare_

"LOVE YOU MAREBEAR!" I pulled her into a bone-crushing hug.

"Sod off, you nut." She chuckled. I ripped at the wrapping paper. My mouth fell open with shock.

"Mary! WHAT DID YOU DO?" I gaped, pulling off the top of the cardboard box inside. The girl had bought me my own broom.

"Thought you might like it," she smiled.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE THESE ARE?" I yelled, stroking the tail and fingering the silver Nimbus 1500 writing.

"Well... duh... Hon, calm down. Dad owns the shop, remember? Employee discount?" She laughingly rolled her eyes.

"Oh... right... THANK MERLIN! I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU MAREBEAR!" I hugged her again, ecstatic and itching to try out my new broom.

"Ok. Our turn." Lily sniggered. She handed me two boxes. I gulped and grabbed the smaller one.

"Some moral support please Mary?" I turned to my friend who grabbed my arm. Slowly, I pulled at the paper. I skooched back against the bed frame as something very little and very lacy fell out.

"AHHH!" I screamed and hid my face in Mary's shoulder. Alice and Lily cackled at my reaction.

It was a bra. A very... sexy... bra.

"WHEN WILL I EVER WEAR THIS?" I shook the... thing... in front of Alice's face. "MY BOOBS ARE TINY!"

Lily and Alice burst out laughing. Even Mary cracked a smile.

"They're bigger than any of ours!" Lily crawled over next to me and stuck out her chest.

"LILY!" I buried my head in my pillow.

"AND there's more!" She said, like a gameshow hostess, holding out the second box.

I lifted my head and scrutinized the package before cautiously unwrapping it. More silk and lace. I twitched. It seemed to be a pair of pyjamas.

"We were sick of you always wearing those trackies and a t-shirt. You're a girl! We're the ones allowed to dress up!" Alice explained.

"I like my trackies," I said sadly, looking at the offending pants. I picked up the lacy pyjamas. "They're very pretty though. Thanks guys." I grinned and pulled them both into a hug.

"Well, we have exactly two hours before you have to go. Your wish is out command. What do you want to do?" Lily jumped off the bed and grabbed a skirt and top from her cupboard.

"Can we get... food?" I glanced at Mary out of the corner of my eye. She raised her eyebrows at me.

"We are willing to let you do ANYTHING at all... and you pick eating?" She shook her head, but smiled. I replied with a definite nod. "That's why I love you." She pulled a tongue and searched through the mess of clothes on her bed for some jeans.

V V V V V V V V V V

I climbed the stairs of Dumbledore's office, like usual, ready for 5 hours of intense training. This was going to be my day. I could feel it deep in my bones. It was going to happen today.

"Good morning, Jaycee." Dumbledore smiled, "and I believe it is also a Happy Birthday?"

"Yes sir. I'm fourteen!" I said happily.

"We do grow up so quickly, don't we, Jaycee." His eyes glistened with nostalgia. He blinked. "Right then! Let's get straight to it, shall we?"

"Cool sir." I stood in the middle of the circular room, ready. He said nothing though, deep in thought.

"Actually, Jaycee. Would you sit down first?" Dumbledore paused and waited for me to sit. "I trust that you are sensible enough not to panic and that you will use this information to your advantage."

I bit my lip and slowly nodded.

"Voldemort has become more powerful than ever. His army has reached great proportions and there are more deaths each day. And Jaycee, there is something much more terrible looming on the horizon." He looked at me gravely.

"But... but... There must be some mistake. He's not in the papers at all, sir." I interrupted, not wanted to believe.

"The ministry feels it... unwise... to alert the public of his growing strength. They see it as a failure on their behalf, and quite rightly so. When will they learn?" He sighed, shaking his head slightly.

"Why are you telling _me_, professor?" Every time this Voldemort was brought up I had started to feel a little edgy. I preferred him to be left out of general conversation.

"A war is beginning, Jaycee. The signs are clearer than ever before. I'm sure even Professor Sinistra has begun to notice them." He chuckled. I couldn't help but smile, despite the grim news. Even Dumbledore could see past Sinistra's facade.

"We need to be ready." He finished. We sat in silence for a moment, I, contemplating what I had just heard. A magical war? This was getting really scary.

"Let's start where we left off last time. You can still see you form, can you not?" He enquired, folding his hands on his desk, ending the conversation.

I returned to the centre of the room, nodded and shut my eyes, concentrating hard to rid my mind of Voldemort and the war. The image of a large, red phoenix surfaced. Its tail feathers, now coming into focus, were red and gold and its eyes were solid gold. I held my breath, straining to keep the image in my mind.

"Yearn to become that animal, Jaycee. You must desire it with all your soul." Dumbledore encouraged.

My bones felt like they were burning with the desire to become that phoenix. In fact... they actually felt they were on fire! And it hurt! A lot! But the phoenix had never been closer. I couldn't help screaming with pain as my blood boiled and my bones burned. I was breathing so fast I could hardly distinguish inhales from exhales. The fire grew and grew, hotter and hotter, until I could no longer stand it!

I let go and felt the image leave my mind with the pain in my bones. When I could breathe again I realized sweat was pouring down my face. I had never been so close before. I wanted to stab myself for being such a wimp.

"Do not be distressed. That was excellent. You have never gone so far before. I do believe that by 5pm today you will have succeeded in transforming."

I sighed and smiled weakly. By 5pm I was going to be an absolute wreck.

V V V V V V V V V V V V

"Once more, Jaycee. Then you may go back to your dorm."

I glared at his stupid smiling face and his stupid white beard and stupid twinkly eyes. I was dripping with sweat and literally hurt all over. I could barely move for pain. And he wanted me to try AGAIN? I growled under my breath.

"Just try one more time. This is the last time."

I gritted my teeth and shut my eyes again. This sure as hell WOULD be the last time. I don't think I could handle another go.

The phoenix sprang to mind immediately. I was getting better at visualizing it. I could now see every marking on its legs and every shade of red in its feathers. I felt my body begin to heat up. I clenched my fists, the pain growing. I clung onto the phoenix with all my strength. But something was different this time. While my bones felt like they were on fire, it wasn't an unbearable pain, like the other times. While my blood felt like it was boiling, I could handle it. I wasn't screaming either. That was new. Suddenly I felt like air.

When I opened my eyes I realized, instead of being able to see Dumbledore, I was now looking directly at the mahogany desk. All the pain had melted away in an instant.

And I had wings. I tried to laugh, but it came out as a gentle cooing sound. I was ecstatic! I flapped my elegant wings and lifted off the ground.

_This must be a dream_, I thought as I soared around the office. Dumbledore was standing up and clapping below. I had never felt freer. This was unparallel to riding a broom. This was entirely new. I wanted to stretch my new wings properly and landed on the window sill, giving Dumbledore a hopeful look.

"Five minutes, do you hear me?" He smiled and opened the window.

I opened my wings to their full span and glided through the afternoon air. The beauty of Northern England took my breath away. I could see for miles. All the way to the shimmering ocean in one direction, and all the way to the looming mountains in the opposite. I rose higher and higher, touching the clouds. The Great Lake was gleaming in the sun and the trees were lush, their branches swaying gently in the breeze. I saw some students scattered about all around the grounds, enjoying the October sunshine.

After the shortest five minutes of my life, I mournfully flew back to Dumbledore's office.

"Have fun?" He said knowingly.

When I opened my mouth... beak?... to speak, the most glorious music came out instead of words. It was the most incredible feeling, being a phoenix.

"Now, swapping back to your other form is simple, as you've been it your whole life. Just focus on yourself and desire to return to normal." I noticed he had chosen his words very carefully.

"Merlin, Professor! That was amazing! No, it was better than amazing!" I raced to his desk. "There are no words to describe what I just experienced!" I sighed, missing the phoenix already.

"That was very good." He nodded in approval. "And as you practice, it will be much less painful to transform. Now, I believe you have a party to get ready for?" His blue eyes crinkled in a smile.

I laughed, over the moon. "Goodbye sir. Thank you so much!"

"Goodbye, Jaycee. Have fun."

I skipped all the way back to the common room, hair whipping around wildly. It was much longer than it had been in 1st year. Shoulder length now. And my fringe had gotten much too long, tickling the tops of my eyes.

"Hippogriff!" I sang to the portrait of the Fat Lady, guarding the Gryffindor common room.

"My, aren't we happy today." She said, swinging open to let me in.

I twirled up the boys' staircase, desperate to tell Remus.

"Goldy? Why so... happy?" Sirius answered the door. I just smiled and shook my head.

"Where's Remus?"

"He and James went to get food for tonight. They'll be back in a little bit." He pulled me into the room. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Pete and I can give you your presents now."

"Oh goodie! More presents!" I sung.

"OI PETE!" Sirius called.

"Uh huh?" Peter grunted, reading on the bed farthest from the door.

"Goldy's here. Let's give her her presents!" He pointed to a bed and told me to sit down.

Peter was scuffling under his bed and emerged with a badly wrapped gift. "This one's from James and me." He said, handing it to me. Sirius bounced on the bed, more excited than I was to see what was in it. Peter plonked himself down next to Sirius.

"Aw thanks Pete!" It was a Honeydukes gift bag. Chocolate frogs, Sugar Quills, Sherbert balls, Ice mice, and Jelly Slugs. I gave him a quick hug.

"I wish Moony would bloody hurry the hell up!" Sirius said, exasperated. "You have to open mine LAST."

I rolled my eyes, knowing I was going to have to wait for them to come back. Luckily I didn't have to for long. James and Remus crashed through the door carrying armfuls of food and butterbeers, talking. James was clearly at the ends of his wits and Remus was looking a little on the mournful side.

"Oh Moony, really. You're perfectly normal. Any girl worth it would be able to put aside the little things."

"Yeah... the little things... like turning into a monster once a month."

"She's decent, I'm sure she'll be able to see past your furry little problem."

I perked up, hearing what they were talking about. "Oooh Rem! Who is she?" 

"What're you doing here?" James asked, surprised.

"I came because I needed to tell Remy something, but got sidetracked by presents. Thanks for the Honeydukes stuff by the way James!" I hopped off the bed and gave him an awkward one armed hug, attempting to avoid the butterbeers.

"PETE! You gave it to her without me?" James moaned.

"Sorry, Sirius said I should." Peter defended himself.

"What have I told you? NEVER listen to Sirius."

"OI!" Sirius piped up. "I resent that! Remus, give her yours."

"No I want to hear who this girl is!" I took some of the food from the two boys and put it at the foot of one of the beds. Remus blushed.

"Mary McDonald." James hooted.

"Awwww Rem! That's so sweet. You guys would make such a cute couple!" I cooed. He turned redder.

"Don't tell her..." He grumbled, pulling a little square box out from his bedside drawer and handing it to me.

"I would never!" I feigned hurt, placing my hand on my heart. "Ooh what a lovely little box!"

They gathered around me as I opened it. I gasped. It was a gorgeous white bracelet, encrusted with tiny gold gems.

"It's beautiful Remus. Thank you to the stars and back!" I squeezed him tightly and held my wrist out so he could put it on for me. Once if was dangling off my wrist I turned my hand in the air to admire it from all sides.

"OKOKOK! Stop looking at the bracelet! It's my turn!" Sirius proudly held out his present. I took it between my thumb and forefinger and almost dropped it. It was heavier than I expected. James, Peter, and Remus snorted at my display of clumsiness. I kicked James' shin, who was sitting closest.

"Is it going to bite me?"I asked, shaking the package. Something rattled around.

"GOLDY! You're going to BREAK it!"

I ripped the paper open and to my delight it was actually a very decent present.

"I knew Mary was getting you a broom so I thought a servicing kit would be an idea"

"Wow Sirius! Thanks! This is awesome!" I turned around and gave him his hug.

"Your cheeks are really flushed, Jace. Are you ok?" Rem poked my cheek with a cold finger.

"Oh yeah! I have to tell you something! Can we go outside?" My eyes lit up.

"Oh that's no fair!" Sirius said, aghast. Peter nodded. Damn it. I was going to have to tell all of them.

"FINE. Ok... this is a huge secret. You can't tell anyone, ok?" I glared at James, the worst secret-keeper I had ever met in my entire life. He rolled his eyes. The others nodded eagerly.

"I'm an animagus!" I grinned, hugging myself with joy. Peter's jaw dropped, as did James'. Remus widened his eyes with excitement.

"No. Way." Sirius breathed. "SHOW US!" He jumped up, pulling me to my feet.

"Uh..." I shuffled my feet. "I don't know..."

"PLEASE!" The four begged. I sighed, defeated.

"Ok... don't laugh if I screw it up."

I concentrated on my phoenix and filled myself with the desire to be it again. It was much easier finding that yearning, as now all I had to do is remember how free I had felt. My bones grew hot and I squeezed my eyes tightly.

"HOLY SHIT!" Sirius yelled. I flew up onto his shoulder and pecked his ear. The other three crowded around me, taking turns to touch my feathers.

"Look at her eyes." Remus whispered. Trust him to notice. "Each Animagus has a specific trait that matches them to the... witch or wizard..." He looked at me guiltily. I cooed softly in his ear, letting him know I wasn't fussed about being a half-breed. Especially if it meant I could do stuff like this as easily as I could!

When I transformed back, I was immediately bowled over with questions and pleas to teach them how to do it.

I covered my ears. "SHUT UP! I'll teach you if you just SHUT UP!" They were immediately silent.

"We'll be able to be with Moony during full moon! Werewolves aren't dangerous to animals." James realized and clapped Remus on the back. I was the only one to notice Remus' eyes shine with tears for a split second before he composed himself.

"You'd really do that for me?" He asked, disbelievingly.

"OF COURSE!" Sirius punched him in the shoulder.

"Totally." Peter nodded, happily.

I glanced at the clock on one of the bedside tables. It was already 6pm! Lily and Alice had me under oath to be back by 5:30 to get ready! I was so dead. I said goodbye, promised once more to teach them, and sprinted as fast as I could down the boys' staircase and up the girls'. I flung myself against the door and landed on the floor, out of breath. Alice, already in her gold dress, was tapping her foot.

"Half an hour late! We are never going to be able to get you ready by 7." Lily complained, curling her hair.

"Sorry... I got caught up. What are you going to do to me that'll take a whole hour?" I was starting to get a bit scared.

Alice wielded her curler and blush brush, grinning evilly. I gulped.

V V V V V V V

I had been forced into a bath filled with perfumes and oils. They had curled my hair; put me in Lily's skirt and a tight top. And the worst part. Eyeliner.

"I'm a fourteen year old student, Al, not a 20 year old stripper!" I protested, pulling the low cut top up.

"If you were a stripper, you would not look so modest. Seriously." She adjusted my top and fixed my fringe.

Lily emerged from the bathroom, dragging a very unhappy Mary behind her.

"Everyone ready? It's already 7:10, so we should head down." Lily was wearing the dark green dress and silver flats. Her hair was curled and her eyes were highlighted with gold eyeliner. Alice had straightened her slightly wavy dark hair. It touched the small of her back when completely straight. Mary was wearing a purple balloon skirt and black sneakers. Noticing that, I contained a giggle. It was so Mary. Her hair, too, was dead straight. It was weird seeing Mary with straight hair.

I was beginning to get excited, despite myself. All the second and third years in Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor were invited, plus a few select Slytherins. We linked arms and walked down the stairs.

The common room was totally different. I had to say it, the guys had done a bloody brilliant job. Music was blaring and there was a food table in the corner with butterbeers by the hundred, all lined up. Lily and Alice headed off towards the centre of the room, which had been transformed into a dancefloor. Mary and I took one look at each other, smirked, and raced towards the food.

"HEY GOLDY!" Sirius grabbed my hand and spun me around. The guys had also taken to haunting the food table, it seemed.

"HEY SIRIUS!" I yelled back, patting my hair into place and proceeded to hug the other three.

"Good job, by the way. This is fantastic!" I caught the butterbeer that Remus had chucked towards me. He threw one towards Mary, who fumbled the catch a little, but managed to get a grip in the end. She blushed and glanced back at Remus, popping the top open. What? I have never seen Mary McDonald _blush_. Ever.

I raised an eyebrow, nudged her and mumbled, "Hmm?"

She shook me off and gave me a look, telling me to shut up.

"So... Sirius... how's um...Maria, is it?" Mary said, grasping at straws to change the subject. Peter snorted into his drink. James kicked Sirius in the side of the leg. Remus rolled his eyes.

"What?" Mary asked. I scanned the room, looking for a certain bimbo Hufflepuff. There she was, by the fire, shooting daggers at Sirius while her friend rubbed her back. I think I knew 'what.'

"I reckon you won the bet, Mare" I said drily. Mary quickly caught on and fist-pumped.

"That's a galleon for me from each of you!" She whooped. The boys looked confused.

"You and she aren't going out anymore, are you, Sirius?" I prompted.

"You guys bet on that?" James asked.

"I don't get it. What are they betting on?" Peter scratched his head, still in the dark.

"How long each of Sirius' conquests last," I giggled. Peter's expression cleared and he laughed. I tipped the last of my butterbeer into my mouth and grabbed a handful of peppermint imps from the bowl next to me.

"Did I tell you, you look absolutely gorgeous tonight?" Sirius sidled up to me, grinning his 'special' grin. I rolled my eyes and threw an imp at his head.

"Piss off, you sod." I smiled and shoved him away. "Hey Mare! Let's go dance!" Dragging her from talking *cough* flirting *cough* with Remus and towards the dance floor, where I could see Lily and Alice I yelled over my shoulder, "BYE GUYS! TALK LATER!"

"What was all that about, eh?" Mary blushed again. That's twice in one night!

"Nothing..." she replied.

"Oh sure. Nothing. Ok. Because from what it looked like, you were doing an awful lot of flirting." I winked.

"Was it really obvious?" She panicked. I lightly tapped her cheek.

"Calm down, you worry guts. I only noticed because I know you better than anyone else."

She grinned and pulled me into the thick of dancing people. Alice and Lily had disappeared from sight. So we danced together. Wildly and extravagantly, flailing our arms about, shaking our butts, twirling around. I hadn't ever had so fun! Red faced and exhausted I told her I was going to get some drinks and she should go and find the others. On my way over to what was left of the butterbeers, Asher Perry, from Ravenclaw caught me.

"Um... hey, Aigleigh." He shook his auburn hair out of his eyes and grinned nervously.

"Hey Perry." I smiled warmly. He was Beater for Ravenclaw. Our practices were usually scheduled right before or after the Ravenclaw practices. I suspected Wood was just desperate to see Talia Verring, who I now knew was the captain of the Ravenclaw team. Asher and I got on rather well, though he annoyed Sirius to no ends. Asher was tall and extremely good looking. He had these gorgeous blue eyes that I could pretty much look at all day. The cutest thing about him was the freckles dusted across the bridge of his nose.

"I was thinking... do you maybe want to dance?" He blinked hopefully.

"Course I'll dance with you." I immediately abandoned my quest for butterbeers. He grabbed my hand gently and pulled me back towards the dance floor which was less crowed as a lot of people had turned in for the night. It was edging on midnight already, I noticed with surprise.

"You look really pretty tonight." Asher said as he placed his hands on my hips and rocked back and forth to a slow song that was playing. I felt my cheeks grow warm and bit my bottom lip.

"Thanks. Lily and Alice forced me into the skirt. And top. And hair. Come to think of it they forced me into everything." I mused. He laughed.

Even when the song ended we stayed together, talking and joking. After three more songs I told him I was absolutely shattered and was heading off to bed. He said, "Yeah, I'll do the same. See you around, Aigleigh." Then he gave me a bit of an awkward hug and chuckled at his own awkwardness.

I found Mary, Lily and Alice, who were also heading off to bed. We made it up the stairs, into pyjamas, and into bed.

"So Jaycee... you and Asher." Alice winked. My cheeks went pink again.

"Oh yes!" Lily sat up. "I noticed that too. You guys were so sweet!"

"We're just mates." I pulled the covers over my now tomato red face.

"Oh sure. Just mates. Ok." Mary quoted me from before. I threw a dirty sock from the bottom of the bed at her.

"Goodnight everyone." I said pointedly and switched the lamp off.

"'Night." They mumbled back.

I was glad I hadn't protested so much that tonight hadn't happened. It had been a really fun night. I couldn't wait to see Asher again. He had been so nice. We talked a lot about pretty much everything. Especially Quidditch. We had a 10 galleon bet on whether Gryffindor or Ravenclaw would win the cup this year. He was so cute. I turned over, smiling to myself. Thinks were looking up.

**This chapter's definitely on the long side :/ Oh well, it'll get me well over 40,000 words XD Thanks for reading! Sorry if this story's getting a bit tedious, I'm trying to keep it interesting, but the real good stuff only starts to happen in 4****th**** year, unfortunately. **

**Girl-With-No-Name-x: Thanks for the review! Haha that's for sure the kind of thing I'd do if I ever saw Sirius... or even someone that looks like him. *sighs***

**Klutz5637: That's so nice **** I'm glad you like it! Thank you thank you!**

**CatAnne78: Yeah, but hopefully this one made up for any of the short chapters. 20 was originally part of this one, but that made it uber way too long so I had to find a place to cut it. You have that feeling because something did haha ! :D Thanks for the review **

**Midnightsnitch: No probs **** Thanks for reviewing!**

**.Black: Hahah thanks x10000 for you review! They're always so nice **** You're welcome, thanks for reading!**

**GreyHaru: Don't worry, even though she didn't in this chapter... she will... oh she will :) mwahahahhhaaahhhaa**

**RMH RMH: Thank you sooo much **** That's so nice of you. Yes, I love love love writing about Jaycee and Sirius moments :D **


	22. The Quidditch Match

**I would like to give a very special shout out to Luli Cullen! You were my 100****th**** reviewer! Here, have a cookie! Lol jks, I don't have any cookies **** But thank you sooo much! **

**I'd also like to give a mention to sonofafluffymuffin, who reviewed my last chapter, but didn't get a mention at the end. Sorry about that.**

**Also, HaRrYpOtTeRlOvEr-94 has a really really good next generation Rose/Scorpius fic. Go and reaaaaad itttt! Dooooo itttt. You know you want tooooo :D**

Ch 22 The Quidditch Match _November_

It was the day of the Gryffindor/Slytherin match. This was the match we had been waiting for all year. It was bound to be exciting. Wood was, as per usual, nervous to the point of illness.

"It's almost like you have absolutely no faith in us whatsoever!" Johnson laughed once we were huddled in the change rooms, going over the strategy _one last time._

"Of course I have faith in you. You haven't failed me yet, but this is _Slytherin_. That awful Yaxley is the captain and his team is full of wannabe Death Eaters. You have to beat them! I wouldn't be able to live with myself if we lost!" Wood said, animatedly.

"So no pressure then" Ria chirped.

The crowd suddenly burst into a resounding cheer, signalling that Slytherin had already made their way out of their change rooms.

"Let's go kick some green and silver ARSE!" Sirius lept up. He and James highfived, ready.

"I couldn't have put it better myself. Let's go guys."

As we made our way out to the pitch, I leaned across to James and whispered, "Lily's watching, you know." I heard his breath catch in his throat.

"Really?" He whispered back in a strained voice. I nodded. "Oh Merlin. Well... I hope she's ready to be impressed." He looked determined.

"AND HERE IS THE GRYFFINDOR TEAM!" I looked to see who was doing the commentary. Usually it was Remus, but tonight was "his time of the month," so they had to get a replacement who turned out to be Eyre Jordon, 6th year.

"WITH POTTER, WOOD, JOHNSON, BELL, BLACK, AIGLEIGH, AAAAAND BELLARY!" The gold and scarlet side of the stands erupted into cheers, while the silver and green side hissed and booed.

"Captains shake hands!" Madam Hooch, who was refereeing the game, ordered.

Wood and Yaxley approached eachother. It looked more like they were trying to break the other's hand rather than shake it, however.

"I want a nice, FAIR," Hooch glared at the Slytherin side, "game from all of you. Mount your brooms." She blew the whistle and we shot into the air.

"BELL WITH THE QUAFFLE, DUCKS UNDER MALFOY, PASSES TO- Ohhh... Avery intercepts..." The Slytherins cheered. Sirius, who had taken the offense side of the pitch, whacked a Bludger towards me, on the defence side. I caught the ball and sent it hurtling towards Malfoy, who was approaching the shooting area. It caught him in the stomach causing him to drop the Quaffle and do a loop-de-loop. Johnson grabbed it and sped to the other end of the pitch.

"WHAT AN EXCELLENT PLAY BY THE GRYFFINDOR BEATERS! AIGLEIGH AND BLACK! WHAT A PAIR! JONHSON PASSES TO WOOD WHO PASSES TO BELL! BACK TO WOOD! DUCKS A BLUDGER FROM NOTT, WOOD SCOOOORES! 10-0 TO GRYFFINDOR!" Jordon grabbed the mike and jumped up and down, excitedly. The Gryffindor side hollered and screeched.

Jason Parkinson, Slytherin Keeper, passed the Quaffle out to Avery, who dodged Sirius' Bludger easily. He swerved around all of our Chasers and threw towards the left hoop. James swerved around and plucked the ball from the air right before it went through the hoop. He looked at the ball, surprised, like he couldn't believe he had done that. I had to smile at his expression. He passed the ball to Brianne.

"BELL WITH THE QUAFFLE! Aw...Intercepted by Malfoy... MALFOY HEADS BACK TOWARDS THE GRYFFINDOR SIDE, NICE BLUDGER BY AIGLEIGH. QUAFFLE BACK TO BELL! PASSES TO WOOD! HEY! What's going on up there?"

I glanced up, to see Ria, arm outstretched, attempting to reach the little golden Snitch. But Nott and his fellow Beater, Crabbe, were circling her wielding their bats, dangerously. I narrowed my eyes at this little act of foul play and tilted my broom upwards, speeding over to join her. Just as Nott raised his bat, I whacked him over the head with mine. Hard. I heard a crunch and hit him again. He swooned and fell off his broom. I quickly muttered a spell to slow down the fall and let him gently touch the sandy ground.

"AFTER AN ATTEMPT AT SOME DISGUSTING CHEATING, SLYTHERIN BEATER TAKEN OUT BY GRYFFINDOR BEATER WITH A WONDERFUL BONK ON THE HEAD!" Jordan laughed.

"Jordan!" I heard McGonagall yell.

"Fine... NOTT TAKEN OUT BY AN EXCELLENT-"

She grabbed the mike off him and I watched out the corner of my eye as he was lectured for being blatantly biased. The Gryffindors were cheering so loudly, the wave of sound could have knocked me off my broom. Malfoy, in the meantime had put the Quaffle through our goals over 10 times, but no one was watching. Madam Hooch blew her whistle.

"Foul to Gryffindor for an illegal attack on their Seeker and foul to Slytherin for an illegal attack on their Beater. KEEP IT CLEAN FROM NOW ON, PLEASE." She yelled from below. Crabbe was levitated to the Hospital wing and Slytherin would have to play one short. Yaxley looked ready to murder.

Wood easily put away the free shot, and unfortunately, so did Yaxley.

"20-10 to Gryffindor," Jordan said, a lot more subdued. The game continued. Between the three, chasers we managed to rack up a total of 120 points. James was so good the Slytherins had only managed another 20 points by the time Ria saw the Snitch again.

"BELLARY HAS SEEN THE SNITCH!" Jordan jumped with excitement. "CARROW FOLLOWS BEHIND, BUT BELLARY IS FAR IN THE LEAD." He waited with bated breath. "AND SHE HAS THE SNITCH! GRYFFINDOR WINS 270-30!" The Gryffindors erupted again, while the Slytherins jeered and booed.

I flew down to Ria and knocked her off her broom in a hug. We tumbled the short three feet fall to the ground and were soon joined by the rest of the team, embraced in a sweaty hug.

Sirius, James and I met up with the others who had been watching from the stands and, chattering wildly, we made our way to the dorms. We had decided that after the match would be an excellent time to catch up on study, but the three of us needed a good shower first.

"Did you hear that CRUNCH when Jace took out Nott?" James clapped me on the back. I grinned, it had been a satisfying moment.

"Yeah we could hear that from all the way down in the stands!" Mary said proudly.

"Where did all this violence suddenly come from?" Peter asked, glancing at me nervously. I scrunched my nose at him.

"I am a _threat_, do you hear me? Never doubt it! I am crazy! You never know what's coming next!" He blinked and I pulled a tongue, giggling.

"We never doubted it for a second..." Alice said warily. I laughed and linked arms with her.

"That's why you're my favourite." I joked.

She stuck her nose in the air and smiled smugly, "You hear that? _I'm_ the crazy child's favourite."

V V V V V V V V V V V V

After showering and changing into more comfortable clothes, we all grabbed our books and headed off to the library. Asher was there, studying. I blushed and smiled when I saw him. Sirius scowled. Asher looked up when he heard Lily's giggle.

"Hey, Aigleigh." He grinned.

"Hey, Perry." I shuffled from foot to foot, nervously. He beckoned for me to join him. I gave the others a pleading look. Mary waved her hand, granting me permission to ditch our study session. I hugged her thankfully and skipped over to Asher's table. I couldn't help but overhear Remus'rather confusing comment to Sirius though.

"Don't forget about Katy, Sirius." He muttered. Katy was Sirius' latest relationship. He had picked her up last Tuesday and none of us could stand her. Except him, most of the time, I supposed. I wondered why Remus felt the need to remind him of her, but dismissed the thought as I dumped my books next to Asher's and sat down.

"Oh you're working on the Potion's essay! Good. I need to do that too. Shall we work together?"

Over the course of the next two hours we made little headway in the essay. Or any other homework for that matter. I didn't mind, neither did he, because instead we had made great headway in our friendship. He was so easy to talk to and so funny, that in the end, I completely forgot the reason why I had come to the library in the first place.

"POTTER!" I heard from the other end of the library. "IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY! WHAT PART OF LEAVE ME ALONE DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!" Lily stood up, flustered, slammed her books shut and stormed towards the door. There sat a dejected and confused looking James. Of course.

"Miss Evans!" Madam Pince hissed as Lily opened the door, "That is no way to talk in a library. Keep your voice-" But Lily had already left. I watched as Alice sighed, looked towards her half finished assignment and the door. I saw Mary shake her head and point firmly to the assignment. Alice shrugged and picked up her quill.

I looked apologetically at Asher. "I'd better go do some damage control... It was nice seeing you again."

"Don't worry. I get it. Yeah, it was. Shall we hang out again some time?" His cheeks turned pink.

"That'd be fun! I, uh, think our first Hogsmede trip is coming up in a week or so..." I looked at him expectantly.

He tilted his head to the side and asked slowly, "Did you... maybe... want to go then? You know... together?"

I nodded, beaming happily "Yay! I'd love to! See you then." I hopped up, collected my books, and bounced to the common room where I knew Lily would be sulking.

I was right. She was sitting, crosslegged on the couch, frowning at her homework. I put my books on the floor and swept hers of the couch, creating space for me to sit.

"Ok. Let's hear it. What happened?" I forced her chin up, so she was looked at me. She slapped my hand away, evidently in a very bad mood.

"Why does he KEEP bothering me? I don't get it! I've told him time after time after time and he NEVER LISTENS." She huffed.

"I know. He's a bum sometimes, isn't he. He just likes you Lily-billy, that's all."

"Yeah yeah, I know. He's just SUCH a toerag. Grrr..." She growled and I, already on a bit of a high, burst into laughter. Then I couldn't stop. I laughed and laughed until I my stomach hurt so badly I wanted to explode. But I _still _couldn't stop.

"Uhh... Jaycee?" She poked my arm, scared. I tried to calm down.

"Whew... composed." I flourished my hand in the air, sucking my cheeks in to keep my straight face. There was no wiping the smile from my face.

"What's got you so... happy?" She asked.

"You're upset. You wouldn't want to know now."

"NO! Come _on! _TELL TELL TELL!" She shook my arm.

Mary and Alice, having just returned from the library, joined us just in time to hear Lily's outcry.

"Ooooh! What are we hearing about!" Alice plonked herself down on the couch, listening in excitedly.

"Yeah, let's hear it!"Mary hopped over the back and sat perched at the top, leaning in.

I bit my lip, "Ok... Asher asked me to go to Hogsmede with him." I squeaked.

The three screamed and all hugged me.

"Oh my Merlin that's so exciting!" Mary clapped.

"LILY! We have to pick out the perfect outfit for her!" Alice cried. The two screeched with joy.

"Wait!" I reached to pull them back, but they had already made their way up the stairs to find the perfect clothes. "Dammit..." I groaned.

"It's ok. You can break the news that they'll have no say whatsoever in you outfit later." She tittered, "Now. Tell me EVERYTHING."

**GreyHaru: Thank you **** I wanted Jaycee to get a little happiness, because... well... you can probably guess, sad things are to come. And thank you soo much for updating your fic! I loved the last chapter!**

**mehak teriq: Thanks so much for your review! I'm so happy you liked it :)**

**Girl-With-No-Name-x: Hahahahaha your review made me laugh! Thanks a ton for reviewing! Love it! Beeteedubs, hope you don't mind, I've totally stolen "smoking" from your review to go in chapter 24. **

**.Black: Aww thank you so much. That made me smile :D I love Remus and really wanted to give him something special too. But not Jaycee... she belongs to someone else *sigh* Thanks again for the fabbity fab review! **

**Luli Cullen: As I said above THANK YOU! You're my 100****th****! I got soooo happy I almost died when I saw 100 XD XD Thank you thank you for the review!**

**CatAnne78: Haha thanks for the review **** It's another one that made me laugh. Tehe yes, Sirius seems to be the jealous type, doesn't he ;)**

**THWATT18: Thanks a hundred times for reviewing **

**HaRrYpOtTeRlOvEr-94: Thanks for all the reviews! And thanks for the compliments **** *love heart* (lol because I can't make a love heart with symbols) I know I'm probably updating a little too quickly :/ I just get so excited! But that's probably going to be ending soon because I only have up to ch 24 prewritten. Thanks again for reviewing :))))) **


	23. The Visit

Ch 23 The Visit _November_

It was the morning of the Hogsmede visit. Asher and I had been very excited about today. Excited being a bit of an understatement, in my case. The holidays were coming up in about a month too. I, of course, would be staying at Hogwarts. Lily had opted to stay as well, not wanting me to be alone. James, once hearing about Lily, had chosen to stay behind too. Sirius, who always went to James' for Christmas, had nowhere else to go but join the rest of us. It was going to be an... interesting... Christmas, that was for sure.

"MARY I CAN'T FIND MY FLATS!" I was on my hands and knees, head submerged in the depths of my closet. I was absolutely frantic. I couldn't find my silver flats anywhere! And it was going to RUIN my day.

"Jaycee, calm down..." Mary grabbed the back of my shirt, pulling me out of the closet. "Alice borrowed them, remember? They're next to her bed." She let go of me and kicked the shoes towards me. I breathed a sigh of relief and pulled them on my feet. Then I turned to glare at Alice.

"Sorry, Jace. Forgot I had them." She brushed her hair in front of the mirror. Mary, Lily, Alice, Remus, James, and Peter were all going in a group. Sirius, having dumped Katy a week ago, was taking Sarah Simmons.

"How do I look?" I spun around.

"Fabulous, as usual!" Lily fixed my necklace so that the clasp was at the back.

"Someone's thinking about you." Mary noticed my necklace.

"Huh?" I asked, preoccupied with hitching my black tights up so they wouldn't crumple around the ankles.

"If your clasp is at the front, it means someone's thinking about you."

"I know who's thinking about Jaycee!" Alice sang. I smiled and bit my lip. We left the dorm together and made our way down to the common room. There were the boys, waiting. I said goodbye to everyone, bar Sirius, who had been ignoring me a little since that day at the library, and skipped off to the front gate. Asher had said we'd meet there and walk up together.

"Wow Jace, you look pretty." Asher's nose was pink with cold and I couldn't help but notice how cute it looked.

"You don't look to bad, yourself." I got butterflies in my stomach when he smiled. He took my hand cautiously; as if afraid I would snatch it back. I expected to feel that "spark" you were meant to get when someone you liked touched you... but got nothing. _Oh well_, I thought. _It probably comes with time._ I adjusted my hand so my fingers fit between his and led him over to McGonagall to get our names checked off. Then we started down the path to Hogsmede, swinging our entwined hands.

"I can't wait to check out Honeydukes! They've got all sorts in there, Sirius says. I mean, I've tried stuff from there before, but Sirius says actually going in is like standing in heaven! He also says Zonko's is cool. I don't know how he knows, but I think we should go there too!" I chatted.

"You talk about Sirius a lot." Asher remarked.

"Yeah... I guess I do." I replied awkwardly. Was it bad to bring up other guys on what I supposed was a date? "Well, he's one of my best friends." I didn't really know what to say after that. Neither did he, it seemed, because we walked in uncomfortable silence for a while.

Finally, he said, "Umm... so how about this snow?" I did my best to contain my laughter, but failed miserably. He joined in, fully aware of the fact that he had just asked me about the weather. I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"You're so funny." I giggled.

He squeezed my hand and grinned, "Is is awkward that I wasn't making a joke?"

"You're just an awkward person, though. So I suppose that makes sense."

He made a devastated face and kicked some snow over my shoes. I narrowed my eyes at him. "You did not just kick snow on my shoes."

"Ohh... umm... I think I just did." He stuck his tongue out.

"It is so on." I let go of his hand, bent down and balled some snow up. With all the practice at Beating, I managed to hit him directly in the face with the snowball and sprinted off so he couldn't reach me with another.

"COME BACK HERE, YOU COWARD!" He grabbed some snow and chased after me, laughing.

We ran the rest of the way to Hogsmede, in full on war mode. When we arrived we were flushed, covered in snow and completely out of breath. Asher suggested we went to The Three Broomsticks first to warm up and get a drink. I gladly agreed.

We chose a booth at the back of the pub and Asher volunteered to get the drinks. I sat back and sighed, pretty content. Then Sirius and Simmons walked in. He looked bored out of his mind. She didn't look too unsatisfied with the situation, though. I could see her running her mouth off to him about something or other. The way she flipped her hair over her shoulder and swung her hips around as she walked made me want to punch her in the face.

"Hey Sirius!" A pretty, French girl from behind the bar called out, batting her eyelashes.

"Sup Rosemerta. How's Beauxbatons?" Sirius smiled and pulled Simmons over to the bar.

"Good. Dad was thinking about homeschooling me for 5th year though. He wants me to work more in the pub." She leaned over the counter, twirling her hair around her index finger.

"We'll get two butterbeers. Siri-poo will pay, won't you hunny?" Simmons pulled him closer to her and glared at Rosemerta, who scowled and slammed two glasses on the table. Sirius grimaced.

Asher was tapping his foot impatiently behind them. Sirius turned around and grinned at him, oblivious to the look he was getting from Asher, who I gathered, didn't like Sirius very much.

"Hey, Perry. Goldy here too?"

"Jaycee," he paused, "is at the back. I was just getting us some drinks."

"Don't bother! Rosie, two more butterbeers please. We'll join you." He paid for all the drinks, much to the annoyance of Asher, and the three of them squeezed into the booth I was sitting in.

"Goldy! How's it going?" Sirius poked me in the stomach. I wriggled away from his finger and slapped his arm, giggling.

"Don't touch me, you... you... Sirius." I crinkled my nose at him, unable to come up with a better insult. Asher was silent, swirling the butterbeer in his glass with one hand and taking my hand in the other. I squeezed his and smiled.

"HEY! It's Jace and Sirius!" Lily pointed out, strolling into the pub. James and Peter walked through the door after her and waved enthusiastically. Alice trailed behind Mary and Remus, who were deep in conversation.

"Guys come over here!" I ripped my hand out of Asher's and beckoned. James ordered everyone drinks while the others jammed themselves in the booth, which was becoming very uncomfortable.

"We were just on our way to Zonkos, but thought we'd come here first for drinks." Remus said.

"We can all go together now, right?" Sirius grinned at Sarah and she gave him a weak smile. I nodded and turned to Asher, who reluctantly nodded too. We chatted over our drinks and then all headed out together for Zonko's.

V V V V V V V V V V

"Goldy, what do you reckon? James and Peter think the long one, but Moony's being boring and says they're dangerous." Sirius held up two very lethal looking products. I stepped back, pulling Asher's hands over my face for protection.

"Put them down now! Listen to Rem for a change would you!"

Remus, standing on my other side, nodded smugly. I bumped him with my hip. "I knew you were the cooler one."

"I'll always be the cooler one." He grumbled and flicked my arm. Sirius and James looked at each other indignantly.

"We resent that!" Sirius exclaimed. James nodded. I let go of Asher and pulled the two of them into a hug.

"Naw, you know I didn't mean it!"

"Oi!" Remus said, hands on hips.

"You can come here too!" I grabbed his arm and pulled him into the group hug. "I love you all equally."

Asher had been standing with us very awkwardly for the whole trip to Zonko's. I caught his eye. "Hey, guys, Asher and I are going to take off. Have fun and don't do anything stupid." I extricated myself from their grasp and took my date's hand, pulling him towards the exit.

"BYE GOLDY!"

Once we left the shop we walked around the village a little, sightseeing. As this was my first time to Hogsmede, I wanted to see everything. I dragged Asher absolutely everywhere. Even into the Hog's Head, the seedy bar down the street. Finally the one place left to go was the Shrieking Shack. Remus once told me that's where he went to transform. I was a little apprehensive about seeing it, but I had told myself that I was going to every single place in this town before the day was out.

Asher hadn't said much since we arrived at the Three Broomsticks.

"What's up, Perry? You're awfully quiet." I said, dragging my feet through the snow.

"Nothing... today just didn't go exactly as I had planned." He looked down.

"I'm sorry. We had planned to go together. I should have said no when Sirius offered for us to join up."

"S'not your fault." He mumbled. We walked a little further, listening to the snow crunch under our feet.

"Jaycee?" Asher grabbed my hand and spun me around to face him. He looked at me in the eyes. Pink cheeked from either the cold or nervousness. Or a combination of the two.

I blinked, "Yes?"

"Will...you... be my girlfriend?" He asked quickly, not making eye contact. I widened my eyes, a million reasons to say no flooding my brain. _I'm fourteen!_ _I don't like him that much! I've only known him for a few weeks! Where's the spark? All I ever feel when I think about him is nervous butterflies! We should wait longer! What if we screw up what friendship we have? You clearly dislike one of my best friends! I don't FEEL anything!_ So, I was very shocked when instead of declining, I said:

"I'd like that a lot." I was, in fact, so surprised, I was convinced a demon had possessed my body and had formed those words. But once they were out, he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into a hug, burying his face in my hair. What was I supposed to say now?

"I'm so happy you said yes! I was sure you liked someone else." He beamed at me.

"Who?" I drew back from his embrace.

"Oh... no one... It doesn't matter now." He blushed. "Come on, we're almost at the Shrieking Shack!" He put his arm around my shoulders and we continued walking, chatting amiably.

But I was starting to feel a little regretful. Sure I liked him. He was cute. He was funny. And he was nice. Did I want to be his girlfriend, though? Too late to back out now... I supposed it wouldn't be too bad to have a boyfriend. I did like the idea, in theory. I suppose I'd just have to wait and see how it turned out.

**God I'm so sooooo sorry for the super long delay. I've had a ton of work this week though (and trust me it isn't lightening up.) I also wanted to make sure I had written chapter 24 before I uploaded 23. I'm also sorry for how bad these last few chapters have been. I'm feeling a little uninspired at the moment. Please keep faith, though. I promise it will get better in the future, once I have good things to write about. And I hope you don't hate me so much you won't leave a little review XD **

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	24. The Kiss

Ch 24 The Kiss _January _

Asher and I had been going out for a little over a month. I was starting to enjoy myself. He was definitely the sweetest, most romantic boy I had ever met. Well, he didn't like it much when I talked about Mum, but I suppose that was normal for most people. I didn't mind so much that there was no spark. I wasn't sure how much I believed in it, in the first place. As it was holidays, we had been owling each other almost every day. He had sent me a delicate brooch in the shape of a flower. I pinned it on the second he had given it to me and hadn't taken it off since. Sirius and Asher, however, seemed to dislike the other more and more each day. I hadn't the slightest idea why.

I had finally begun lessons for James and Sirius about their animagus.

And it wasn't going so well. In fact, by saying it wasn't going so well, I was being kind.

"Just THINK!" I ran both hands through my hair, which Lily had been kind enough to cut the other day. It had been over an hour and neither of them could even produce a corpeal patronus. This was driving me, a rather impatient person, insane.

"I'm TRYING!" James complained.

"A happy memory! Merlin, how hard is that?"

Sirius had his face screwed up in concentration, trying to find his happy memory. He opened his eyes and looked at me briefly before speaking again. "Expecto Patronum!"

A silver, shaggy dog burst from the end of his wand and tumbled around the room with delight. Both boys' jaws dropped at the sight of it.

"Whoa." James stated. "What memory did you use?"

If I didn't know better, I'd have said Sirius blushed slightly. But instead, I assumed his cheeks were pink with excitement about finally producing his patronus. "Not telling."

James gave him a shove and I noticed Sirius widen his eyes. James immediately covered his mouth with his hand, attempting to hide a smirk. I rolled my eyes.

"Come on, James! Your turn. Stop pissing around and THINK for a change. Think about... think about the beginning of the year! Remember? When Lily was sad about... what had happened to me during the holidays? You held her hand and she didn't push it away." My chest ached as I remembered that time. It was awful not being home for Christmas. With Mum. And it was awful not being able to say goodbye. I pushed this aside and focused on the task at hand. James' Patronus.

He closed his eyes. "Expecto Patrono- no patronus- NUM! PATRONUM!" He yelled, opening his eyes.

"Try again," I sighed.

"Expecto PatroNUM!" He said slowly and clearly focusing on his memory. A wisp of silver smoke hung from the tip of his wand.

"Good job!" I said, enthusiastically. _Finally_. "That memory obviously wasn't strong enough... hmm... can you think of another?" I mused. Suddenly he broke into a wide smile.

"I have one! Expecto Patronum!" And there it was. James' patronus. A stag, grand and majestic, strutted around the room, dipping its head occasionally.

"A bloody DEER?" James moaned. "Sirius got a dog and I get a DEER?"

Sirius was doubled over with laughter at his reaction. I whacked him over the head. "Don't be mean!"

"What was your memory, mate?" Sirius enquired, composing himself.

"You're not telling. Neither am I." James winked at Sirius, who made a face and stuck out his tongue.

I poked my head out the empty classroom we were using and looked both ways. "All clear guys. Let's head back before Lily gets too suspicious."

We crept quietly down the corridors, pausing around corners. We had almost made it when Sirius tripped over a little bump in the carpet.

"Fuck!" He exclaimed hopping on one foot.

"Sirius!" I hissed dragging him by one arm to where James was already at the portrait hole. "Don't you swear in front of me, you sod. And someone would have heard that!"

"Owww..." he groaned, rubbing his arm.

"You deserved that...Now hurry." I mumbled. "Guinevere."

"Oh ho and where have you lot been?" The Fat Lady asked condescendingly, giving her visiting friend knowing looks.

"None of your business." James rudely replied. "Guinevere."

She scowled at him and the portrait swung open. Once inside, we collapsed on the couches, relieved to have made it back.

"We really need a way to get around the castle without worrying about being seen." James grumbled.

"You know what we really need?" Sirius dreamily said, curled up on the couch. "Cool nicknames."

"What, you mean like Siri-poo" I chuckled at his ex-girlfriend's nickname for him.

"Shut up, Goldy..." He stretched out a leg to kick me in the side. "They should match our soon to be animagi!"

James looked a little interested. "Yeah, that's a good idea."

"And Goldy already has a nickname." Sirius rolled over, jumped on top of me and tickled my ribs.

"No. I. Do. Not." I squealed, struggling with all my might to free myself. James guffawed from the other couch

"You know you love it, Goldy." Sirius winked and stopped, but didn't get off. I opened my mouth to tell him to, but was cut off by Lily who had just walked down the girls' stairs.

"Finally!" She exclaimed. "Jaycee, I've been waiting for you for ages!"

"Evans!" James perked up immediately. Lily gave him a withering look and turned back to me, raising an eyebrow as she noticed Sirius and my position.

"Sorry, Lil. I'm just coming now." I shoved Sirius away and flicked ear, ruffled James' hair and followed Lily to the stairs.

"See you tomorrow, guys."

"See ya, Goldy!" Sirius replied. James nodded and waved, bored again now that Lily had left.

The second I shut the dorm door behind me, Lily was on my case. "What were you doing with them that took so long? Hmm? And _what _were you and Sirius doing just now?" She narrowed her eyes.

I flopped onto my bed, too worn out to change out of my baggie pants, tank top, and jumper. "Whoa whoa, calm down. It was nothing, Silly Lily. And you'll have to ask Sirius about that one..."

"It was nothing? Yeah right, and Dumbledore's spending Christmas on the beach in Hawaii." She rolled her eyes. I snorted trying to imagine the head lying on a beach in his wizarding robes and 3 foot long beard. Somehow the images just didn't fit together.

"You never know. He might be!" I stuck my tongue out. "Don't worry. It's nothing I'm going to get in trouble for." It wasn't a lie. I would only get in trouble if I was found out. Which I wouldn't be.

"Goodnight, you nutty child." She huffed.

"Niiiiiighhttttt Lily Billy!" I sung.

V V V V V V V V V

The next day Asher came back. He said he had missed me too much to stay away for the last few days. When I told him to shove off and tell me the real reason, he laughed and said his Dad actually had to go to America on business. But that he did miss me.

"Sirius... Look, we can postpone the lesson for tomorrow. It's not that big of a deal." I, frustrated, shoved a spoonful of baked beans in my mouth.

"But, Goldy, you promised." He complained.

"Asher _just_ got back. Excuse me if I want to spend the day with my boyfriend. What about... Ellen... Ella? She's been here all holidays!" I spluttered, mouth full of food.

"Jace, that's gross." James cut in, delicately flicking a bean off the table.

I made a show of swallowing.

"I dumped Redding like a week ago," Sirius said, blasé.

"Well, hang out with James then. Have some boy time. There are plenty of things to do without me." I huffed and stood up. "Bye James."

Sirius was looking very dejected.

"Bye Sirius." I rolled my eyes and blew him a kiss.

"Bye Goldy!" He beamed.

I made my way over to the Ravenclaw table where Asher was eating with a couple of his Quidditch friends. When he saw me he grinned and shoved Byron Chang over, who was sitting next to him, to make room.

"Hey, Ash." I sat down and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. He put his arm around me and rested it on the bench on my side.

"Hey, Jace. So, we hanging out today?" His eyes wandered over to the Gryffindor table.

I glanced back too. James was chattering away to Sirius who, oblivious, was stabbing a sausage with his fork very aggressively. Merlin, what had gotten into that boy lately? I scowled and turned back to face Asher.

"Yeah," I answered half-heartedly, still wondering about Sirius. He grinned and stood up, pulling me with him.

"Let's go then!" We walked out of the Great Hall, ignoring catcalls from Asher's friends and a death stare from Sirius.

On our way down to the lake, where we had decided to go first, Asher told me all about the fabulous day he had planned for us. I smiled and nodded in all the right places, but my heart just wasn't in it. My mind kept slipping back to what could possibly be irritating Sirius so much. It was really putting a damper on my mood.

"What do you think, Goldy?" I stopped walking and snapped my head up, in search of shaggy black hair and gray, blue flecked eyes.

"What did you just call me?" I asked, incredulous. Asher turned pink.

"Well... uh... Black calls you that, so I thought..." He stammered, looking anywhere but at me.

"I'm Jaycee, Asher." I snapped and dropped his hand and continued walking towards the lake

"Sorry, Jaycee... I just assumed, since Black-" He trailed off and hurried to catch up with me. I slowed and turned back to face him.

"Sorry Ash, it's me who should be sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I really don't know what came over me." I said sheepishly. I didn't know what had come over me. It wasn't really a big deal what he called me. I guess it was just a bit of a jolt. He smiled and gently took my hands.

"It's ok, Jaycee. I'm sorry. I guess I just... well... you and Black are so close and...I dunno..."

I stopped him in mid sentence by pressing my lips to his. I could tell he was shocked at first, but once he realized what was going on I felt him respond enthusiastically. I smiled against his lips. He wrapped his arms around my waist and deepened the kiss.

I placed mine around his neck, waiting to feel something... wanting to feel anything. But I got nothing. Sure, it was kind of nice tracing patterns on his lip with my tongue. But there was no spark, no chemistry. Nothing. I pulled away after a few minutes, shaking my hair back into place.

"Whoa" he said breathlessly, smiling widely. "You're really good at that."

"Thanks... tons of practice." I stuck my tongue out and grinned cheekily.

"You're just so funny." He said sarcastically, grabbing me around the waist as we continued walking to the lake.

"Yeah, I'm hilarious. Or haven't you heard?"

Asher looked at me hard. I felt his chest expand against me as he took a deep, deliberate breath.

"Jaycee... I think I might..lo-" He began.

"RACE YOU TO THE LAKE!" I extricated myself from his grip and sprinted towards the banks like my life depended on it. Panicked. Was he about to say what I thought he was about to say? Because... That was mental. Completely insane. We had only been dating a month.

And I definitely did not love _him_.

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	25. The Fight

Ch 25 The Fight _March_

"FOR MERLIN'S SAKE JAYCEE! IF I LIVE TO BE 100, I WILL _NEVER_ UNDERSTAND YOU!"

"WHAT IS YOUR BLOODY PROBLEM, SIRIUS?"

"HE ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! WHY CAN'T YOU FUCKING SEE THAT! YOU HAVE A TRAINWRECK RELATIONSHIP! HE'S FUCKING CHEATED ON YOU TWICE!"

"DON'T YOU SWEAR IN FRONT OF ME! AND DON'T YOU _DARE_ TALK ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T PROVE."

"I'LL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I LIKE."

"WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH? THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! BUTT OUT, YOU INSENSITIVE SHIT."

"YOU'RE JUST TOO STUPID TO SEE WHAT'S IN FRONT OF YOU NOSE! I'M NOT BEING BLOODY INSENSITIVE BY POINTING IT OUT! I'M JUST TELLING THE F-"

"STOP SWEARING, OR MERLIN HELP ME I'LL HIT YOU! NO. JOKE."

"Try it." He jeered, breathless from yelling.

"I will if you're not careful." I, also on the breathier side, glanced around the common room, realizing we had disturbed yet another night of study for our fellow Gryffindors.

But no one in the common room had turned a hair throughout the entirety of our fight. They were all so used it. Sirius and I barely spoke anymore, if not to yell at each other. We fought all the time. We fought loudly too.

Asher and I were still together. But barely. Sirius was right. Our relationship was as good as over. But... I needed him right now. I needed someone, anyone, to hold me and tell me they loved me. The Doctors wanted to take Mum off chemo. They said it would be no good. They said it would prolong her pain. They said there was nothing left to do but wait now.

Emily... Emily was losing her mind. She was only eight and she was an emotional wreck. I was at my wits' ends. I didn't know what to do. And I was so worried that Dad was hurting her. I was scared to death he was really going to injure her. I loved her so much and felt utterly helpless from so far away. There was nothing I could do to help her.

I told Remus. I told him everything. And he was incredible, as always. Right there beside me almost whenever I needed him. Right there to put me back together almost every time I fell apart. But Remus had his own problems to worry about. And as much as he wanted to push them aside to focus on me... I couldn't let him do that. That would be extremely selfish of me. There was no hiding from him though. He knew my better than anyone. I knew I was so lucky to have a Remus. Without him, I honestly don't know how I would've survived the past months.

Asher. He couldn't handle it. He was a fair-weather boyfriend. A fair-weathered person, in general I suppose. As our relationship got more serious and as we trekked further into it, I realized that he was like two different people. He would do anything for me when I was happy. When everything was ok he was sweet and caring. Cute and romantic. He would blush and kiss me, tell me how beautiful I was and how much he loved me. But the second things took a turn for the worse... he just disappeared. If I even hinted at tears... he was gone in a second. And I knew Sirius' theories on where he went. I didn't believe them though.

I couldn't.

"WHY aren't you LISTENING to me? When is he EVER there for you? TELL ME!" Sirius grabbed my wrist as I stormed away.

"Don't touch me." I said coldly. "How dare you criticize him for that. What about you, hm? Where have you been? My mother is about to DIE. My eight year old sister was checked into a child psychologist last week by her school teacher! Were _you_ there when I needed someone? No. You are a hypocrite." I spat.

He released his grip, stepped back and blinked. "I-I'm sorry." He whispered after a pause.

"Why are you sorry? I don't expect anything from you, Sirius. I have Remus. And I have Mary. Lily and Alice too. I don't need you." Still breathing heavily from our previous yelling match, I shakily retreated up the girls' stairs leaving him standing there, frozen.

I collapsed onto my bed and yanked my shoes off.

"Don't cry, Jaycee." I told myself firmly feeling my eyes fill. "He's not worth it."

But it was no use. Hot tears stung as they dripped onto my duvet. I _did_ need Sirius. He was always the one who could fix me. He knew exactly what to say for it all to seem ok again. He had been one of my best friends. But I was slowly losing him. And I didn't know why! And it was _killing_ me.

"Jace?" Mary loudly knocked on the door.

"I don't want to talk." I mumbled into my pillow. She burst in anyway.

"I don't care what you want. I think you _need_ to start talking." She hopped on the bed and sat opposite me, cross-legged.

When I didn't move she pulled me into a sitting position and continued speaking. "Have you and Sirius been fighting again?" She asked bluntly. Like the whole school hadn't heard...

I sniffed and nodded, a fresh wave of tears overflowing down my cheeks.

"Merlin Mary. I don't get it!" I suddenly yelled, slamming my fists onto my bed. "What have I done that's pissed him off so much?"

She gave me an incredulous look and asked softly, "You haven't figured it out yet?"

"NO! Clearly NOT!" I grabbed my head in frustration. She conjured a tissue box for me and held it out.

"Thanks Mare... Sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you." I wiped my eyes and grabbed a tissue to blow my nose.

"Think about it, Jace. This all started when you first went out with Perry. Every time you two hang out, you and Sirius fight. And what do you fight about? About whether Perry's GOOD enough for you. About whether he's cheating on you. About_ why_ you're dating him. Are you not seeing a pattern here?"

She slapped her forehead when I still looked blank.

"Sirius doesn't want you dating Asher!"

"Yeah. I know." I said curtly.

"Jaycee." Mary sighed with impatience. "Sirius doesn't want you dating Asher because _he _likes you."

I raised my eyebrows. "What? That's insane. Sirius doesn't like _me_. We're friends, Mary. He's got his sluts of the week to please him."

Mary shook her head. "Whatever, Jace." She opened her mouth, wanting to say more, but Lily and Alice raced through the door, cutting her off.

"Jace! What happened?" Lily raced to the side of my bed and put her arms around me.

"We just got back from Astronomy and Sirius is sitting in the common room looking pretty shell-shocked. Did you guys fight again?" Alice asked sympathetically, coming over to sit by Mary.

"Yeah we did. And I'm fine." I paused and looked at them, not really wanting to ask the question I knew I had to.

"Is Asher really cheating on me?"

I wanted to sound strong and confident, like I didn't care either way. But my voice came out weak and wavering.

Alice looked uncomfortably at the floor. Lily dropped her arms and crawled on the bed with the rest of us. Mary averted her eyes.

I felt my stomach drop and my hands grow sweaty. "He... is?" I croaked. "AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!" I felt a rush of anger. They knew? They knew Sirius was right and they kept quiet?

"Jaycee, we're so sorry!" Lily sniffed. "We really wanted to tell you... but we didn't know if it was really true. I-I suppose it must be. There've been some rumors going around." She looked at the others for support, silently asking if she was doing the right thing. Mary nudged her, urging her to continue.

"And you've had so much to deal with at the moment. We-we just didn't want you to have anymore sadnesses." Her green eyes shone with tears as she reached out for my hand. "We were wrong."

I felt my anger towards them melt away as I looked at Lily's face, desperately pleading my friends' cause.

"No... It's not your fault. I get it." I squeezed her hand and then slid off the bed, wiping my eyes again. I headed towards the door. Asher Perry was not going to know what hit him.

They didn't try and restrain me as I marched back down the stairs and towards the portrait hole.

"Jace?" Remus chased me from the couches, grabbed my hand and pulled me back. He looked at me directly in my eyes, currently clouded with anger, and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I owe Sirius an apology." I muttered through clenched teeth. "I'm going to... speak... with Asher."

"What? Why? What's Sirius-" He stopped, understanding what I meant, eyes widening. "He didn't."

"Yep. Now, sorry Rem, but I've got to go crush some heads." I was doing my best to contain how devastated I really was by the news. Remus could see straight through that facade through. He didn't let me go, but instead pulled me into a hug.

"That bastard," he whispered angrily, holding me tighter.

"Thanks Rem." I scrunched my nose up, out right refusing to cry again. "You always know when I need a hug."

"That's what friends are for."

V V V V V V V V V V

Asher, rubbing the bright red mark on his cheek, looked confused.

"What the hell, Jaycee? You're so moody! Two hours ago you were FINE. Now you're slapping me for NO reason? Are you on your period or something?" He looked at me warily.

I gritted my teeth. "Ok first of all, you NEVER ask a girl that question. Because if she is, you're in the shits. But unfortunately for you, that was completely deserved on your part."

I glared at him. The corridor was completely empty. It was almost curfew, but I didn't care. I needed to get this over and done with now.

"Who was she?" I stabbed a finger in his chest. He stepped back a little.

"No one! She was no one! I mean... NO! Huh?" He stumbled over his words, looking very nervous and very guilty.

"Don't lie, Perry. I know you've been going around behind my back. Just tell me who she was!"

"No one! I haven't done anything! I love you, you know that!" He said desperately.

"Stop it. You're being pathetic. Merlin, you're such an arsehole." I wanted to slap him again, but controlled the urge and, instead, whipped around calmly began to walk away.

"Wait!" He called, running to catch up. "Are you breaking up with me?"

I slowly turned around and gave him a withering look. "Yes."

"WHY?" He threw his arms in the air. "I haven't done anything, you stupid cow!" Oh, that was it. I bunched up my fist and punched him hard in the jaw. It hurt my knuckle, but was still very satisfying.

"You can act all cute and romantic when you want to! When everything's all happy rainbows and bloody unicorns. But when things go bad? Then what? THEN YOU DISAPPEAR AND RUN AROUND WITH OTHER GIRLS BEHIND MY BACK!" I yelled. "Seriously. I don't EVER want to talk to you again." I grabbed the brooch he had given me that was still pinned to my robes and chucked it straight at his stupid soddy face. It bounced off his nose and he kicked it down the corridor.

"FINE! Because I don't want to talk to you either! You're moody, emotional, depressed and you have so many bloody issues. You're no fun at all! Her name was Shana, by the way. And she's a fuckload more entertaining than you." He screamed back, slurring slightly on account of a recently broken jaw.

"GOOD! I'm glad! You're so CHILDISH! Can't handle anything even the slightest bit not PERFECT! Goodbye Asher." I stalked off before he could reply.

When I returned to the common room everyone except Sirius had gone. It was very late.

"Why are you still here, Sirius?" I spat as I walked towards the dorm, not in the mood for 'I told you so-s.

When he didn't reply I stopped and faced him. His face was pale and his expression, devastated. In his hand was a letter. I felt my heart pound. Something was terribly wrong.

"Sirius." I breathed racing over to him. "What's wrong!"

Emotions flickered across his face as he shakily held the letter out.

"It... It came when you were gone. I p-picked it up and waited for you to come back." His voice was hoarse.

I took it frantically and began to read the words, hurriedly scrawled on the back of an old receipt. Whoever had written it had been in a rush. Reading the words, all of a sudden what Asher had done was the least of my worries. It was as insignificant an event as a single grain of sand on the beach.

_Jaycee, _

_Mum's gone. Dad's scaring me. Please come home._

_Emily_

I began to breathe very quickly, unable to calm myself, the letter falling to the ground like a leaf. I struggled to come to terms with what this meant. I could barely think. I felt nauseous and lightheaded.

The last thing I remembered were Sirius' arms around me as I realized the short, quick breaths had disappeared and that I had forgotten how to inhale. Then. Blackness.

**This A/N is going to be long. Just warning.**

**Sorry. Cliffie. And with all the work and packing (I'm off to Europe for three weeks then XD which means a definite lag in updates, but I promise the weekend I get back I'll devote to writing so we had have very quick updates!) I have to do by Saturday, chapter 26 is a bit unlikely to happen within the next two or three days. Again, apologies. **** Please Review XD XD! **

**Unsigned reviewer #1: Thanks so much for reading :D Sorry it took so long **

**CatAnne78: As you have seen, I am sick of Asher too :/ tehe I love having the power to remove the irritating ones if I want XD Thanks a gazillion for the review *love***

**RMH RMH: Aww thanks **** and... shhhhh giving away the plotline much :P haha jks**

**Unsigned reviewer #2: Lol I can't complain. That was what I asked for! So thanks :)) **

**harrypotterlover-94: Thankeee for reviewing. You make me happy :D Ok, so what you do is sign in first. Then along the left side there's a whole lot of options to click (where you see Account/Publish etc) The bottom one says "Traffic Stats" click that. How to see hits/visits per month and what country the most visitors are coming from and stuff, you click story stats. Reviews and all hits ever is under "Legacy Story Stats" **** Hope that made sense**

**Alizya: Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry **** That's awful. I'm happy you love it though. Thanks *heart***

**LuliCullen: I hope this was confrontational enough. Reading back, I probs should have done some more... Glad your liking it! Thanks for reviewing**

**Girl-With-No-Name-x: Lol I was so devo when I saw started reading the last line! Haha thanks **** And I know right! Pooorrr Jaaaaamess. He's a staaag. How disappointing -.- **

**.Black: Sorry! I just realized something happened to you name in the last chapter when I replied **** I knoooowww! Grrr Asher. How dare you call Jaycee by Sirius' nickname! :O Thanks so much for the really nice (as usual *sends love*) review :D**

**sonofafluffymuffin: He's pretty much just a bumhead. I started out liking him. Then as I continued writing realized how bummy he was more and more. The bum... lol Thanks for another amazing review!**

**LittleMissDreamer7: Wowww! That review actually made me all fuzzy inside hehe! I was on a happy high all day. Thank you so much **

**HaRrY-pOtTeR-iS-mY-wOrLd: :O :O So honoured! I don't even know what to say. Oh my god that never ever happens to me. Like I am literally speechless. And that just does not happen. Wow. That's the most amazing compliment!**


	26. The Loss

***A little abuse in this chapter, just warning you. If you don't like it, I'll put a little asterisk in where you can skip over***

Ch 26 The Loss _May_

I blinked into consciousness. The common room slowly focused into sight. I was sitting on the floor, Sirius holding me tightly, squeezing my hand. One look at the crumpled piece of paper next to me brought everything back in a flash. Suddenly tears blurred my vision.

"Oh Merlin." My voice cracked as I tried to contain a sob.

"Shhh, Goldy. I'm here. Don't cry. I've got you." Sirius soothed pulling, me closer. I buried my face in his shoulder and curled up in his protective grasp, shaking uncontrollably.

"M-mum's d-dead!" My tormented wail was muffled slightly by his shoulder. I gripped him tightly, unaware of anything but the fact that my chest was aching like it would split at the seams and how nauseas I felt. I cried and cried. Mum was gone. She was gone. I tried to remember the last time she told me she loved me... but drew a blank. I tried to remember the last time I told her I loved her... another blank. This made me cry harder. What if she didn't know? What if she didn't know how much I had loved her? How much I missed her when I went away. How much it hurt when she erased me from her life. Did she know? Did she? Well... now she never would.

And Emily. What was going to happen now? I moaned with despair as I thought of my little sister. My scared little sister. All alone with Dad in that big, big house.

"S-Sirius, I c-can't b-breathe!" I gasped for air, shivering hard.

I expected him to leave. To say he was tired or not even bother with an excuse. I knew how much he hated teary girls. I expected him to flee the emotional wreck before him as soon as the opportunity presented itself. What I didn't expect was for him to gently lift me onto the couch, wrap his arms around me and let me cry into his chest until my eyes were all dried out, rubbing my back gently.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered softly, tilting my head so that I was looking directly into his eyes. He held my face and wiped away a tear with his thumb. I hugged him around the neck and hid my face in his chest again, wanting the pain to disappear. Wanting to disappear myself.

"Sirius... I never told her I loved her." I breathed so quietly I could barely hear myself.

He held me around the waist and kissed my forehead. "She knew, Jace."

"I- I have to go home!" I bolted off the couch, immediately missing what little comfort his arms had given me.

"Goldy, you can't go now!" He jumped up too and tried to grab my hand.

"NO! I have to! Emily's all alone. Dad... Dad'll be..." I breathed faster, imagining terrible things. "I have to go NOW!"

I stumbled up the girls' staircase leaving Sirius standing desperately below. I crashed through the door and pulled my suitcase from under my bed. Alice murmured in her sleep as I fossicked around, throwing clothes and books into the bag.

"J-Jaycee?" Lily groggily said, sitting up.

"I have to go! I'm going home. I have to go now!" I said, frantically dragging my bag to the door.

"Whah? We have class in like... four hours." She rubbed her eyes, checking the alarm clock.

"I'm going! I- I have to!" I was mumbling like a crazy person, wild eyed. "Dumbledore... Must speak... Dumbledore."

Sirius was still down in the common room, slumped against the wall by the stairs, waiting for me. When he saw me tumble down, completely oblivious to anything but the path to Dumbledore's office, he leapt up and chased after me.

"Where're you going? Jaycee, listen to me! You can't do anything now. You have to wait until morning!"

I rushed down the corridors and main stairs, forgetting the missing step in my haste and tripped. I got up, not caring that I was bleeding and probably had a twisted ankle. The only thought running through my mind was Emily.

"Going to Dumbledore." I muttered as I limped. Sirius grabbed my suitcase.

"At least let me help you!" He said, frustrated, and put his arm around my shoulder to support me. I leaned against him in relief. Walking was becoming far too painful.

When we arrived at Dumbledore's office I barged straight in, ignoring Sirius' instructions to knock first.

"PROFESSOR! PROFESSOR!" I whipped my head around, desperately searching. He wasn't there.

Sirius noticed the door before me. He raced over to it and banged on it loudly. I was currently in a ball in the middle of the room. My ankle hurt so much. But not as much as my chest. My heart felt like had been stabbed over and over again. I tried to think of the last time she hugged me, without me having to instigate it first. That would have been two years ago. My mother hadn't hugged me in two years. I let out a sob.

"What if she never loved me, Sirius?" I whimpered.

He continued rapping on the door as he spoke quietly. "You're being ridiculous, Goldy... Of course she loved you."

Dumbledore finally opened the door. He was in a blue nightie with yellow stars and moons on it and a matching nightcap. Any other time I would have burst out laughing... but right now I didn't care if he was wearing a leotard and tutu.

"Jaycee, what happened?" He rushed over to me, still on the floor. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"Sir," Sirius approached us, "Her mother died. And her sister needs her at home." He squeezed my shoulder as he spoke.

Dumbledore looked aggrieved. "Oh Jaycee. I am so sorry for you loss. Of course you must go home. Immediately. Will your father be home?"

"Unfortunately," I said in an undertone, and then nodded.

He walked over to the fire place and grabbed a little sack of greenish sand.

"Have you floo-ed before?" He asked, throwing some of the sand onto the fire. With a whoosh it grew to twice its size and turned emerald green. I stepped back quickly, shocked, and shook my head. "It's quite simple. Step into the fire and state exactly where you want to go. But make sure you speak clearly and loudly, or you may end up in the wrong grate."

I gulped.

"Wait just a moment." Dumbledore tapped the fireplace with his wand, which he had pulled out of his nightcap, and muttered something under his breath. "I've added your house's grate to the floo network. Usually it is illegal to do so for muggle houses, but I'm sure an exception can be made." He patted my shoulder and smiled gently. "Go on now. I will owl you in a week or so to see how you're doing."

I gave him a watery smile. What would the students of this school do without Dumbledore?

Sirius hugged me, whispering in my ear that it would be ok. I rested my head on his shoulder and shut my eyes, trying not to cry again.

"Will you tell the others I'm gone? I'll be back soon, I promise." I let go and stepped cautiously into the fire. Instead of being hot, as I expected, it was more of a cool, tickling sensation.

Sirius and Dumbledore waved. Sirius' eyes and nose had gone a little pink, but he was refusing to cry.

"Bye." I whispered. "45 the Bishop's Avenue." Suddenly I began spinning, very very fast. I tucked my elbows in so they wouldn't scrape against the grates.

Finally, after what seemed an age, I fell out onto the lounge carpet, covered in soot. When I stood up, I noticed I had left a black mark on our very white carpet. Dad was going to kill me. But where was he? It was only 11pm. He wouldn't have gone to bed yet. I searched through the whole house. He was nowhere. In the end, I decided he must have gone out and raced to Emily's room, hoping she, at least, was home.

I burst through her door, sweaty, dirty, and tear stained. She was curled up under the covers, so small in her large bed, shaking a little in her sleep. I sat next to her head, stroking her hair. I had missed her so much. I noticed her face, bruised, blood nose, black eye and felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to throw up.

"Jaycee?" She pushed herself into a sitting position. "JAYCEE!"

I grabbed her around the waist, gently, so not to hurt her anymore and hugged her, never wanting to let go. "Oh, Em, I missed you so much."

"I missed you too." She sniffed.

"God... what's he done to you?" Her arms were covered with black and yellowing bruises. I covered my mouth with my hand, noticing a long cut from the back of her neck running down, under her pyjama top.

"Don't worry. I'm fine." She bit the side of her lip then looked at me. "Jaycee... Mum"

I pulled her into another hug, tears now pouring down my cheeks. "I know. I know. Are you ok?"

"Y-yes." She sobbed. I took that to mean 'No.' I urgently spun around to face her properly.

"Let me fix you," I breathed. Gold light sprung to my fingers. I was already exhausted, but needed to do this now. I brushed my fingers down her arms, letting the bruises heal completely and around her face, the bloody nose disappearing in an instant.

"Can you fix the-the one on my back?" She asked shakily, turning around. It was long and deep. And old, scabbing over already.

"I can try, Ems. But it's been there for a while, hasn't it. And it's really big. I don't know how well this is going to work." I gently traced the cut with my finger, the light streaming over it. I knew before I had begun that it was far too old and far too deep, but hoped desperately all the same. The scab faded away and turned to a white scar.

"I'm sorry, Emily. That's the best I can do." I muttered, feeling like I had failed her.

"That's ok. Thank you so much, Jaycee. I love you." She hugged me again, resting her head against my side.

"I love you too..." I whispered. We sat like that for a while. Both silently grieving.

"Dad's at the pub." Emily finally said, as if reading my mind. "H-he left hours ago." She sniffed loudly.

"Oh God. He's going to be a nightmare when he gets back." I spoke fearfully and pulled her protectively closer, not quite grasping the fact that the threat I was shielding her from was yet to return home.

"Please don't leave me again, Jaycee." She breathed, shifting in my arms so I was looking directly into her big, brown eyes. Eyes laced with fear and pain.

I didn't know what to say. Fresh tears skewed my vision. I knew what the right, brave, _noble_ thing to do was. I felt, as the one who'd practically raised her, it was my responsibility to protect her. But... how could I give up Hogwarts. It was more my home than anywhere else had ever been. The friends I had made there were my family. I stilled loved Emily more than anyone else in the world though. How could I _not_ immediately choose her over Hogwarts? I hated myself for thinking like this. I was being so selfish. Looking after my own interests. Leaving Emily to the mercy of our father. Just like a Slytherin. I didn't deserve to be in Gryffindor. God... I was despicable.

"Em...I- I _want_to stay with you. I really-" I sniffed and bit my lip, not knowing how to continue. She was crying again too.

"Gosh, Jace. I'm so sorry. I-I'm being selfish. No. You need to go back." She spoke shakily, detracting from her efforts of trying to be strong for me. I felt a surge of self-hatred hearing her pitiful voice. And that an eight year old felt like she needed to be strong for me.

"Emily, I-"

_BANG_. The door slammed, shaking the walls. My grip immediately tightened around my little sister. I held her head close to my chest. Tendrils of the scent of alcohol were wafting under the door. I heard footsteps. Growing louder and louder and louder until Emily's door was wrenched open, carelessly. And there he stood. Towering over us, bloodshot eyes, leer stretched across his face.

**Asterisk**

"What are _you_ doing here?" He slurred, looking at me with disdain. "Get out. We don't want you here."

He made a move back out the door. And then paused. Suddenly, without warning, he whipped around again, stumbling slightly and yanked me off the bed by my arm. Emily was knocked off my lap and onto the floor, begging him to please calm down.

"This is ALL YOUR FAULT!" He shook me angrily. I felt my insides turn to jelly and my head wobble around dangerously.

"DAD STOP! LEAVE HER ALONE!" Emily sobbed, unable to get up or put pressure on her left ankle.

"KEEP OUT OF THIS!" He aimed to kick her, but being completely wasted missed and hit the dresser, crying out in pain and lessening his grip on me. I struggled violently, trying to get free. I almost did before he tightened his grip, digging his nails into my arm.

"You. Killed. Her." He hissed into my ear. I was trying with everything I had not to cry. I couldn't give him that satisfaction. He sneered and flung me to the floor. My head cracked against the bed, making me see stars for a moment. I couldn't breathe with pain.

"What does it feel like?" He paused to smirk at me, curled in a ball by his feet, "to kill you own mother?"

With that he staggered out of the room laughing uncontrollably.

**Why****hello****there!****Long****time****no****see!****I****'****ve****missed****fanfiction****so****so****so****so****so****much!****:D****Three****weeks****away****is****really****too****much****to****take****I****hoped****you****liked****this****chappie.****Sorry****if****it****'****s****a****little****angsty.****Things****do****tend****to****get****worse****before****they****can****get****better.****It****'****ll****be****back****to****two****or****three****days****between****updates****now.****I****'****m****really****really****really****jetlagged,****so****I****apologize****in****advance****for****delays.****Remember,****reviews****make****the****world****go**** '****round****:D****Actually...****just****my****world,****really.**

**I've really been blown away by the number of reviews I got for the last chapter. Like, literally blown away. If I answered every single one individually I think the A/N would be longer than the chapter! So I'm just going to give a general THANK YOU TO THE HEAVENS AND BACK to all my beautiful reviewers:**

**mykk27,****LittleMissDreamer7,HaRrYpOtTeRlOvEr-94****(Thank****you****so****much****for****that.****That****'****s****a****crazy****compliment),****Luli****Cullen,****Jasmine****Indigo****Sappihhra,****Alizya,****TWHATT18,****WingShield,****Girl-With-No-Name-x,****CatAnne78,****.Black,****RMH****RMH,****Fate-of-true-Moonlight,****thebritishone****(beeteedubs****LOVE****how****you****picked****the****Harry****thing****up!),****Kitty-Zink,****Redviness,****Solar571,****CurlsOfGlory,****HorcruxesandHallows,****harrypotternerd1398,****lillyshak,****disler,****Orion****'****96,****xLoveHarryPottex,****Jaisler****(wow****I****'****m****honoured!****And****I****made****it****up,****hope****that****'****s****ok),****nessa1998,****Dracomalfoy69**

**And to my anonymous reviewers, sorry I can't name you but thank you thank you all the same. **

**I LOVE YOU ALL! **


	27. The Truth

Ch 27 The Truth _June_

I was exhausted. Mentally and physically. Dad had never been worse. Always drunk, always angry. And of course, he took it out on Emily and me. I had used my light so many times in the last month, I could barely move. The scar running down Emily's back had not gone away. I didn't expect it to, but I suppose I had hoped. I felt like I had failed her.

Dumbledore had owled me to say he believed as I was far advanced in most magic, missing the exams this year would not hold me back next year and I could stay home to grieve with my family. I was grateful for his understanding because there was no way I was leaving Emily now, with Dad like this.

I sat, slumped over my desk, trying to write a letter to Remus.

_Dear Remus, _

_I'm sorry I had to leave you without saying goodbye last month. I'm also sorry I didn't write sooner, I've been so busy with everything going on. I miss you and the others a lot. Will you tell them that? Thanks, Rem. Also, I'm not going to be coming back to Hogwarts until next year. Dumbledore's said I can stay home for the last few weeks of term. I suppose there are only a few days left now, anyway. _

_Dad's holding up. He's not here much, but that's alright. Emily and I know he needs time to grieve. Emily's alright as well. I think she's still trying to comprehend what's happened. How are you? Have your exams finished yet? Tehe I didn't have to do them! _

_Please tell Sirius thank you so much for helping me. He didn't need to do that, but he did anyway. Tell him I owe him bigtime. _

_Love, _

_Jaycee xxx_

I skimmed over it a few times; double checking I hadn't accidentally divulged any unintended information. It seemed fine, so I put the letter in my pocket. When Mouse returned from hunting I'd send it.

V V V V V V V V V

_1 week later_

_Tap Tap Tap_

I sat up, slightly in a daze, feeling a sense of déjà vu, but being far too tired to know why. I was slightly annoyed at being awoken as I had been so exhausted lately; every minute of sleep was a blessing.

I stumbled over to the window, having woken myself enough to guess that it was Sirius. I tried to open it, but was shocked to find I was physically too weak to even budge it. Recovering from the start, I crept downstairs, cursing Sirius Black under my breath. Why couldn't he go and bother James?

It took me a while to unlatch the door and slip outside. The night was cold. I suppose that was just me though. Even a gust of wind caused me to shiver these days.

"Sirius?" I hissed, searching around the walls of the house.

"Goldy?" I heard in response, as loud footsteps grew nearer. He rounded the corner and ran towards me, excitedly. "GOLDY! I MISSED YOU SO M-"

I slammed my hand over his mouth. "Shut UP! If my Dad comes out here we're screwed!"

"Shmorry" He mumbled and pulled my hand away from his mouth, looked at it and inhaled sharply. "Jaycee. What's happened to you?"

"What do you mean?" I snatched back my hand defensively.

"You're- you're so skinny. And pale. Merlin, are you getting enough sleep? You have massive bags under your eyes." He looked me up and down, concerned.

"Thanks Sirius." I said sarcastically, shoving him a little. "That's just what every girl wants to hear."

"And you're hurt! Jaycee Aigleigh, you tell me what's been going on around here right now." He narrowed his eyes, staring straight into mine.

I looked down and whispered, "I can't..." Then I paused and looked up. "Why are you here, Sirius?"

"Oh-uh... I just thought I'd um... visit, I mean school got out about a week ago and I uh... Do you not want me here?" He shuffled uncomfortably, looking a little taken-aback.

"No! No, not at all! I mean... Yes. Ummm no?" I ran my hands through my hair. Screwing up my face in concentration, I then said, slightly more coherently, "I do want you here. Yes. There we go. Got it out in the end."

He chuckled. "You're such a screw-up, Goldy. But I love you anyway."

"Again. Thank you for your kind words."

We looked at eachother and grinned. He pulled me into a tight hug.

"I really have missed you. How are you holding up about all this? I'm so sorry." He said, squeezing me.

"I missed you too. I'm getting a lot better, thanks. It's still hard, but..." I tried to squeeze him back, but found that even exerting that little bit of extra energy, I was light headed again.

"Oh Merlin. I've got to sit down." I collapsed onto the floor, leaning against the wall under my window, breathing heavily. Sirius sat next to me, a look of pure worry etched onto his face.

"Please tell me what's wrong! Are you alright?" He took my cold, pale hand in his warm one and rubbed it gently. I smiled weakly at his pathetic attempts to warm me.

"It's... a long story..." I shivered slightly as a fresh breeze picked up. He shrugged out of his beat up leather jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders.

"It's a long night." He said, stroking a bruise on my cheek with his other hand. Being as weak as I was, I could only manage to heal the worst of Emily and my injuries and of course, she was my first priority. It had started out with leaving a small bruise here, a little cut there. Now... Now I could barely get the light to work anymore.

"What happened here, first of all?" He gave me a knowing look. I opened my mouth to refer back to the good old 'walked into a door' line, but something in his eyes stopped me. Something told me it wouldn't do any good, making up stories to this boy.

"You already know, don't you." I looked into my lap, cheeks reddening. He said nothing, but put his arms around me and held me close, resting his chin on my head. I leaned against him, eyelids drooping. For the first time since I had come home, I felt safe. And I felt warm.

"It's just so hard, Sirius. I can barely grasp the concept of her just... not being here anymore." I sighed.

"I know. I know. Shh." He whispered comfortingly.

"I want you to meet someone." I suddenly said. I tried to push myself up, and with his help managed to get on my feet.

I huffed as I pulled the door open. I could just see Sirius furrow his brow at my weakness and sighed a little. I suppose telling him was inevitable, but that didn't mean I could hold it off for a little longer. We tiptoed quietly through the house and up the stairs. Next to my room at the end of the hall was Emily's.

"She's in here," I said as I gently pushed her door open. "Emily?"

She moved in her sleep, almost sat up, before falling back again and rolling on her stomach.

"So this is Emily," Sirius said softly, not wanting to wake her up. I nodded and sat on the end of her bed.

"Em. Emily, wake up. There's someone here I want you to meet." I shook her toes, causing her to stir slightly.

I looked at her the way I knew Sirius could see her. It was the first time since coming home that I noticed how pale she was, how thin. It was the first time I saw the dark circles under her eyes, the constant look of fear on her face, even when sleeping. I could see the cuts and bruises I had been too weak to heal. I wanted to cry, looking at her like this. How had I let this happen?

"Jace?" She murmured. "Is it morning already?"

"No hun, I wanted you to meet one of my best friends from school. He's here."

She sat up, yawning and looked towards Sirius. "Hello. Are you Sirius Black? The one with the grey and blue eyes? Jaycee told me how annoying you were in first year. I think she likes you now, though. "

I blushed when Sirius laughed. Yes, I had told Emily about his eyes. They really were quite incredible. Emily hadn't stopped teasing me about being "in love" since. But I don't like him! Our relationship is _entirely_ platonic. Completely.

"Yes. That's me. Goldy and I got off to a shaky start," he looked chagrined, fell onto the bed next to me and put his arm around me, "but we're the best of mates now!"

I rolled my eyes and smiled. Emily giggled

"So, Emily. How old are you now?" He tickled her foot making her squeal.

"I'm EIGHT. But I'm turning nine in august." She held up eight skinny little fingers.

"Wow! You're so old. You're going to need a wheelchair soon if you keep this up! You know what they say about too many birthdays." He looked solemn.

"What do they say, Sirius?" She leaned forwards, wide-eyed.

"Too many birthdays are proven to kill you." He winked. I snorted at his very _bad_joke, covering my face with my hands.

"That was a terrible joke!" I said; my voice muffled from behind my hands. Emily, finally getting it, burst into laughter.

"I dunno, Goldy, your sister seems to think it's funny." He smirked and poked my side.

"HEY no! Stop it!" I skooched closer to Emily.

"Emily, was my joke funny?" Sirius queried. She grinned and nodded ferociously. He tilted his head to the side and looked at me. "HA to you, Goldy."

"You're an idiot." I stuck out my tongue. "Come on. We should let Emily get some more sleep. Sorry about waking you." I slid off the bed and kissed her forehead.

"It's ok. Love you, Jace-face. Nice to meet you Sirius Black." She waved as we left her room. We quickly crept down the corridor to the end and slipped into my room.

"Ok. Now are you going to tell me what's up? I'm seriously worried about you, Jaycee." He reached out to grab me, but I dodged his hand and hopped back into bed, pulling the covers over my face.

"No." I mumbled from the depths of my bed.

"Oi. Come out!" He tickled me through the covers. "Don't make me come in there."

I poked my head out. "I think that would be crossing the lines of friendship just a little."

He laughed and sat next to me, legs dangling off the edge. "It's not like we were going to do anything. Unless you want to, Goldy. In that case, you can skip the waiting list." He winked.

"No! Ewwww." I pulled the duvet back over my head. "You're a retard."

"In all seriousness," he paused briefly to laugh at his serious/Sirius joke before continuing, "please tell me."

I wanted to. I wanted to tell him everything. From Emily's almost-death in the tree, to now, being so exhausted I wasn't sure if I could even use magic at the moment. I wasn't sure if I could even spend a whole day on my feet. I wanted to tell him everything in between. About the neglect from my mother, the abuse from my father, learning I was a witch, learning I wasn't human. I wanted to tell him what was really going on in those meetings with Dumbledore. How I had failed my mother, unable to cure her. How I was now failing Emily as well. I wanted to. But I didn't know how to begin. I hadn't told anyone the whole story. Remus knew most of it. But there were parts that I hadn't really wanted to share with anyone. Until now. Now, for some crazy reason, all I wanted to do was pull myself up and tell Sirius Black absolutely everything. And it wasn't going to be easy. There were some parts that rehashing would be sure to make me cry. But I suddenly felt the need to tell _someone._

"Goldy?" He pulled the covers back and took my hand. "Please? You can trust me."

I sighed and wriggled up so that I was sitting next to him, "Fine. But you can't tell _anyone,_understand. Remus is the only other person who knows."

Sirius nodded, "I would never tell a soul, honest."

I breathed in deeply, head spinning for a while. I shut my eyes, waiting for it to pass. When it did, I opened my mouth and began.

"Have you ever heard of Vigoraters?"

**Hey guys! Thanks for all the support! It's so great to be back on fanficiton XD All your reviews really makes me feel happy Thanks so much. And a special thanks to xLoveHarryPotterx , who added my story to their community! Wow! I feel so privileged! XD Love you all xx**

**HorcruxesandHallows: I totally agree! But don't worry; over the past three weeks (not being able to write devs) I've had heeeeaaaaps of time to plan. And there are... things... coming in the future mwahaha. Thanks for the review, it was so nice **

**disler: Thanks so muuchhh :D Sorry for the super long delay. Hopefully it will never ever ever happen again.**

**TWHATT18: haha here you go! Thanks for reviewing**

**Dracomalfoy69: Thank youuuu beeteedubs me likes the penname **

**Ivori: Thanks for the super great review! Don't worry; I've gotten a little attached to Jaycee. I want her to be ok too **

**Luli Cullen: Hey Thanks for the reeeeviewww XD**

**Jaisler: Thanks :D Oh that's a relief. I really don't want to offend anyone or anything. **

**LittleMissDreamer7: Thanks sooo much. Your review made me really happy! 3 3 (Those are hearts but fanfiction doesn't let me use the little less than sign. You will just have to imagine :D)**

**Jasmine Indigo Sappihhra: Voila! Update! Though it has no answers... don't fret! Answers are coming soon I promise! Thanks for the review. I LOVE your penname. You know Jasmine was my absolute favourite name for ages! And Indigo was too! **


	28. The Last Day

Ch 28 The Last Day _August_

Tomorrow was the day I was meant to return to Hogwarts. Everyone expected me to return. Every part of me wanted to return. But how could I leave Emily, all alone, with Dad? How could I do that? I couldn't. I just... couldn't.

"Jaycee! Please! You have to go back! You have to." Emily said, standing by my desk where I was sitting.

"But you told me you needed me not to leave again. I'm staying, Em." I slumped over my half written letter to Dumbledore explaining that I was not coming back to Hogwarts.

Emily pushed me off the letter and grabbed it. "I know. I wasn't thinking. You need to go back. What's here for you?" She said softly, tearing the letter in half, then fourths, then eighths.

I sat up and looked at her hard. "You."

"I'll be fine, Jace. I have school too. I am nine years old. I can look after myself. I-I promise." She met my look with one of her own.

"Ok." I whispered, defeated. "I'll go."

She nodded and tried to smile. I couldn't look at her. In avoiding the sight of the expression on her face, I looked down, glancing at the booklist for fourth year that had arrived a week ago. Suddenly, I had an idea.

"Em! Do you want to come to Diagon Alley with me? Since I'm... going back now... and... yeah.." I trailed off, hoping I had said the right thing. I grinned as her eyes lit up, brightening her entire face. I still had one thing that would lift any 9 year olds' spirits, no matter how distraught they were. Magic.

"Can I?" She grabbed my arm, forgetting her exhaustion in an instant.

"Of course you can!" My face hurt, I was smiling so wide and my heart swelled. Emily was jumping for joy around the room. Happy.

Suddenly she stopped and whipped her head around, beaming with excitement. "Can Sirius Black come too?"

I laughed, something I hadn't done for weeks. "I'll ask, ok? But he's probably already bought his stuff."

"Yay! Yay! Yay! Sirius Black!" She giggled finally collapsing onto my bed. I pushed back my chair, took a running leap and landed right next to her with an Ooomph and a bounce.

"Sounds like someone has a bit of a crush on a certain wizard," I chuckled and tickled her feet. She squealed, still giggling.

"Nah-UH" Emily said firmly, hiding a smirk. "But someone in this room does."

"WHAT! What is THAT supposed to mean!" I exclaimed, indignantly. She made a show of shutting her mouth and shaking her little blond head.

"I see how it is, you sod. Go get ready. I'll owl Sirius for you."

She giggled again and skipped out of my room. I watched her long hair whip through the door after her. I couldn't have been happier. Emily was giggling again. I'd missed the sound of her tinkling laugh.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V

Emily stood on her tiptoes, craning her neck. "Where is he, Jaycee? He's late!"

"Calm the farm, Emily. He said he'd meet us here at 11. It's still only 10:45." I ruffled her hair and sighed at my impatient little sister.

We were leaning against the wall between a record store and a fish and chip shop. I could quite clearly see the little wizard's pub called "The Leaky Cauldron" situated on the other side of the record store, but I wasn't sure if Emily had even noticed it. We were sharing a pack of chips. Actually it was more along the lines of I managed to score a chip or two from the hungry beast that had emerged in Emily.

Ten minutes and another pack of chips later Sirius turned up, right on time, grinning his infamous grin and sporting the leather jacket he had worn last time I had seen him. Emily raced towards him and practically leaped into his arms.

"Hi Sirius!"

I face-palmed with the hand not clutching the almost empty chip pack.

"Hi you crazy kid." He slung her over his back, fireman style and joined me in next to the record store. "I think I have something of yours? And..." He glanced at the chips. "I think you may have something of mine. Swap?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's ok. You can keep her. I'm happier with the chips, thank you very much."

He frowned and thought for a moment. "NO DEAL!" He grabbed the chips and pretty much threw Emily at me, she, laughing the whole time.

I glared at him. "Fine. Have them, bum. They're cold anyway."

Emily tugged at my incredibly... there is no other word for it... "floopy" jumper. "Can we go now PLEASE?" She begged.

"Ok ok! We're going!" I laughed. Sirius was getting a bit excited too. Though he had already bought his books, he had said he was always looking for an excuse to go to Diagon Alley. At the current moment he was impatiently tapping his foot in front of the Leaky Cauldron.

"Let's go!" He shoved open the door, excited. I watched as Emily's jaw dropped, finally noticing the pub.

"Has this always been here?" She asked, shocked, as I dragged her through after me.

"Yes, and it gets cooler, trust me." Sirius yelled from the room which held the entrance. We quickly followed, I not liking the looks we were getting from some of the drunker lifeforms.

Sirius was murmuring to himself, tapping the stone bricks in the wall. Emily watched in awe as the bricks shuffled around until a large archway was created leading onto Diagon Alley.

"Hey! Goldy! D'ya remember your booklist?" He asked suddenly, before tumbling through the archway eagerly.

"Yeah yeah, do you really think I'd be that stupid?" I pulled the list from out of my pocket, dragging a completely speechless Emily behind me.

"Well..." He averted his eyes and smirked. I narrowed mine.

"What're you trying to say?"

"Noooooothing!" He sang and pulled the list from out of my hand. "ONWARDS TO FLOURISH AND BLOTTS!"

"No wait!" I grabbed his arm and pulled him backwards. He landed very heavily on his backside. I burst into laughter. Emily wasn't paying any attention as she was exploring the street with her eyes, taking it all in. Wide eyed and open mouthed.

"Why would you do such a thing?" He feigned hurt and covered his eyes with his hand.

"Don't be a retard. And I wanted Emily to see everything before we start shopping. Actually there was one place I definitely want her to see... You know... for her benefit entirely." I bit my lip and smiled guiltily.

I pulled him back up and we exchanged glances. Sirius bent down and looked into Emily's face. "For you, dear Emily insert middle name here Aigleigh, me and your beloved sister are going to show the most wondrous place on Earth." He beamed.

"Your beloved sister and I." I corrected under my breath.

"_I__'__m_not the beloved sister. That's you." Sirius scratched his head, confused.

I gave him a withering look and waved my hand as if to say, continue. He did so.

"ANYWAY. We're going to a nice little place most of the wizarding community likes to refer to as Florean Fortescue's Ice-cream Parlour."

I could no longer contain my excitement. "They have ALL sorts of flavours there! Stuff you've never heard of before! They've got all the normal flavours and then they've got essence of amortentia-"

"Which is bloody amazing, despite the gay name and-"

"Sirius don't swear in front of my sister. They also have-"

"Cockroach cluster! Don't try that one." He made a face.

"Stop interrupting me!" I slapped his arm.

"OW! And no!" He turned back to Emily smugly. "My favourite flavour's chocolate frog. It's the best flavour, but your silly big sister likes canary cream."

"As if it is, Black! Canary cream is far far superior! It's all happy and yellow! Chocolate frog is all... brown." I said indignantly.

"Well DUH! It's chocolate!"

I rolled my eyes. "Come on, let's show Emily around."

He grabbed her other arm and together we pulled her down the street, bouncing with excitement. I tried to see the Alley for the first time. How Emily, a muggle, would see it. I watched her marvel at the woman in the streets selling dragon liver, the colourful robes the adult wizards wore, the way a young mother repello-ed a box of Ice Mice from her son with her wand, the names of the shops and the promises they held inside them.

It was crowded, being Saturday and Emily, being short, was finding it difficult to see over heads. I let go of her hand, as did Sirius, and let her hop on my back. She gripped my neck tightly and whipped her head around eagerly, feasting on everything.

I could see Sirius, now walking beside us, was watching her closely too. He had been giving a running commentary of every shop, everyone, and everything. It amused me that he was clearly having just, if not more, fun than Emily. I suppose he had never seen someone experience magic for the first time, being a pureblood. I knew myself how incredible magic was, from firsthand experience. It had never once become old or tiring. Sirius never got that though, as magic had always been a part of his life. I was glad he was able to see the magical world the way I saw it. And now, the way Emily was seeing it too. As truly... magical.

"Knockturn Alley's down there. You don't want to end up down that street. Trust me." He said, forebodingly. "That's where all the bad wizards like to hang."

Emily widened her eyes and looked down at him. "There are bad wizards?"

I immediately thought of Lord Voldemort. He was on the front page of the Prophet again yesterday. Alice's cousin's family had been murdered in their home for refusing to join. It was the first time someone I knew had been directly affected by this coming war. Suddenly Voldemort seemed very, very real.

Sirius nodded grimly. I could tell he was thinking along the same lines. I huffed, fed up with sadness. He took my hand, laced his fingers through mine and smiled softly. Emily slipped a little, me now only having one hand to support her. _Don__'__t__worry.__It__'__ll__be__ok._His smile said. I closed my eyes, not believing, but clung onto his hand still.

We walked in silence down the rest of the street. Emily could even feel the tense atmosphere, though I'm sure she had no idea what was going on.

"We're here." Sirius broke the silence. "Let's go get a cheer up icecream and forget about stupid Voldemort for a little."

I grinned and let go of his hand to help Emily off my back. "I think a happy yellow ice-cream is in order. Unless you'd prefer to stick to your murky brown."

"CHOCOLATE RELEASES ENDORFINS! ENDORFINS MAKE YOU HAPPY! I WIN!" He yelled.

"YELLOW IS SUNNY! SUN MAKES YOU HAPPY! I WIN MORE!" I yelled back.

"NUH UH"

"YAHUH"

"NUH-"

"SHUT UP!" Emily covered her ears and screeched. "I just want an ice-cream! It can be brown, yellow, pink, green, black even!"

We laughed, grabbed her hands and swung her by her arms through the door. Sirius quickly jammed his hand over her eyes and guided her to the counter where a good 100 flavours were displayed. All colours of the rainbow. All imaginable flavours. My mouth was watering just thinking about what was sure to be a delicious Canary Cream ice-cream.

"Your wish..." he started, uncovering her eyes, "is my command."

I couldn't help but giggle at the look of pure glee that quickly formed on Emily's face. She opened her mouth to say something, but was struck speechless by the wonders that lay in front of her.

"Hello, you lot. What can we get you today?" Florean Fortescue himself bustled out of the store room smiling widely.

"Hi. It's my little sister's first visit to your store." I gestured to the still flabbergasted Emily. Florean Fortescue's smile doubled in size.

"Is that so, dearie? Well, how about I let you pick first? Silencio just came in this month. Named so because it's so good it silences anyone who tastes it." He chortled at his own cleverness and handed her a tasting spoon.

"Noooooo she has to have chocolate frog! It's the best!" Sirius whined. Florean chuckled and handed Emily another spoon.

"She's MY sister, Sirius! She's having Canary Cream. And we've been through this more times than I can count now!"

Emily got another spoon. She was beginning to struggle with them all, trying to savour each one.

Sirius and I ordered our cones, while Emily decided which flavour to take. She stood at the counter for AGES until finally, FINALLY, deciding on Rose.

"Thank you, Mr. Florean." I said, handing him the money.

"No trouble at all. Thank _you.__" _He smiled again and gave me my change.

We left the shop and meandered back down the alley, heading to Flourish and Blotts. I was double checking the books I'd need this year as Emily, hurried ahead, pushing the door open. Inside it was loud as mothers and children argued over books, salespeople tried their best to convince poor innocents that they desperately needed this year's addition of "Wizarding Feats," and toddlers shrieked as they ran around, waiting for their siblings to find their school supplies.

"Just Standard Book of Spells Grade 4" I mumbled to myself, running my fingers along the Charms section.

"Well well... look who it is." I heard a snakelike voice from behind. My fists clenched and I felt Sirius stiffen beside me. "The Mudblood, the blood traitor and what I can assume is their muckblood daughter."

I spun around, fully set on punching who I assumed was Malfoy in the face. Sirius, however, beat me to it. By the time I'd pushed Emily safely behind me; Malfoy had an incredibly sour look on his face and blood dribbling from his mouth.

"Fuck off, Malfoy. And take your death eater sidekicks with you." Sirius spat, indicating towards Nott and Avery, standing next to Malfoy.

"But we like it here." Malfoy jeered. Nott swung his huge fist angrily. It made a sickening crunch as it connected with Sirius' nose. He wiped the blood from his face and squared off with the three, Avery and Nott being much larger than him.

"Sirius don't be stupid! And for the love of Merlin, don't swear in front of a nine year old." I dragged him back.

"That's right." Malfoy said, sneering at us. "Listen to your Mudblood girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend." He muttered, glaring furiously. "And _don__'__t_ talk to her like that."

The shopkeeper appeared next to us, looking infuriated. "WHAT is going on here?" He said, narrowing his eyes at us.

Malfoy spat at my feet and slunk away with Nott and Avery.

"Sorry, sir. It was an accident?" I said uncertainly, restraining a lethal looking Sirius. He looked unimpressed, shook his head and told us it had better not happen again.

We bought the books quickly and soon after left the shop. Sirius was still fuming. Emily was yet to speak.

"He SPAT at you. How dare he! When I get back to Hogwarts I'm going to-"

"No you won't." I said firmly. "Because if you do, you won't be at Hogwarts for very much longer."

He looked at me, sulkily. I nudged him gently with my shoulder. "Thanks for standing up for me, though. Here let me fix your nose."

He beamed at me, pleased that I had noticed, assumedly . I thought I saw him blush, but it must have been a trick of the light. Sirius Black doesn't blush. I pulled out my wand, not prepared to show the entire street I was a Vigorater and muttered 'episky.' The bleeding stopped instantly. I handed him a tissue to wipe away what blood was left

Emily had been very quiet for a while now. She looked up at me and asked, "Who were they... and what's a mudblood?"

"They were some horrible boys that go to our school. They're in Slytherin. That's the evil house I told you about. And a mudblood's a bad name for someone who's not a pureblood. I told you about them too, remember?" I explained in the simplest way possible.

She crossed her arms and made a face. "I didn't like them."

"We don't like them either." Sirius scowled, glancing at me again. "Er, what's next on your list then?"

V V V V V V V V V V V

A few hours later Emily and I arrived back home, laden with my new school things. I tiptoed through the house checking if Dad was home. Luckily, he was out. Probably drinking again. He was going to drink himself to death if this kept up.

Not that I would have minded... No! That's a terrible thing to think. Of course I'd mind. A bit twisted he may be, but he's still my father. I hated him for hurting Emily, but I didn't want him dead.

Did I?

Shaking these thoughts from my head, I dumped the bags on my bed. Emily followed suit. She hadn't stopped raving about how amazing magic was since we had arrived home. I nodded and smiled at her, but wasn't really listening. A fresh flood of thoughts streamed through my brain. About Sirius. When he'd said goodbye before we left...

"_Bye Goldy." He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tightly. I leaned against him, not wanting to let go. "I'll miss you."_

"_We'll only be apart for a day, silly." I flicked his ear. I wriggled around, noticing Emily waiting a little impatiently next to me. _

"_Yeah... but still." He let me go and brushed my hand with his. _

_Suddenly I felt my stomach drop, like I'd just begun the descent on a roller coaster. I blinked, confused. Where had that come from? That was new... _

_He waved and Emily and I waved back, walking in our separate directions to our stations, but he was still on my mind. What WAS that feeling? It was so weird. It's not like he hadn't touched my hand before. But this was entirely new. I felt my cheeks grow warm as I realized I had sort of liked it. _

"Jaycee! Are you even listening to me?" Emily poked me sharply.

"Uh sorry..." I tapped my head. "Totally out of it at the moment."

She frowned. "I was _saying_ I think Sirius likes you."

"No he doesn't!" I replied indignantly.

"Well _I_ think he does. He was so nice to stand up for you. And you two are always arguing. It makes me laugh. OH JAYCEE! Do you remember the animal shop? Did you see all those owls!" She suddenly changed topic, her brain speeding through the entire trip over and over again.

But I was still thinking about her former thought. Sirius didn't like me. How could he? Of course he didn't. Even the notion was ridiculous. I was nothing like the girls he usually went out with.

Why did I care?

I didn't. Of course I didn't. Doesn't matter to me at all.

Right?

**I know this wasn't that good, but I was writing though a block here. Hopefully it'll get better. And pardon any spelling errors. I was rather tired when writing this. I do have good news though! I've finally figured out exactly how I'm going to format this story. Well, it's more good news for me, but I thought you might be interested too XD It's my _goal_ to finish the pre-war part of this story by December. My goal. That'll be the end of The Healer. THEN I'll start posting the sequel. Which'll be during the war. I haven't come up with a name yet. If anyone has suggestions revieeewwww :DD (Keep in mind I'd like to keep up with the whole "The [insert name here]" thing. THEN there'll be the third and final part. Which'll be after the war. Again, no name as it is. I know the general plotline for each of these parts as well, so there won't be much of a wait. Hopefully I can write a lot over the Christmas holidays and start posting the sequel as soon as school goes back. Again, this is my goal. **

**Anywwwaaayyyy, just some author ramblings that you probably didn't need to read. Let's get reviewing guys! Thanks so much to all those who have been, it means a lot. A lot a alot alot! I do miss some of my old reviewers who seem to be MIA at the mo I miss you a lot. **

**Luli Cullen: Thanks for the review! Yes, I'm glad too haha**

**LittleMissDreamer7: Yay for imagination! Lol :D You're sooo welcome! Thanks for reviewing! :D**

**xLoveHarryPotterx: Looool that would be so funny... actually... probs a little scary :/ but still thank you sooo much for the review :) **

**thebritishone: Wow that was such a long and lovely review! Thanks so much for the huge compliment (and the flapjacks XD) I don't even know what to say. I'm so glad I managed to get that unfairness across. Cause I've kind of always seen Harry Potter as more of a war story than a fantasy. And when I talk about all the war-ish stuff, people look at me like I'm mental... which isn't entirely inaccurate but whatever! So yes, there are things to come for Emily. That's for sure. Thanks again for the review! It really made my day reading it!**

**UnperfectButLovingIt: Thanks so much :D**

**Ivori: hahahaa thanks so much! Yeah I definitely don't want to lose the Siriusness of Sirius! Your review was so nice, thanks a hundred times! **

**RMH RMH: Thanks And all in timmeeee allll in timmmeeee tehe**

**Jaisler: Thanks so much! I'm so glad you like it!**

**Sonofafluffymuffin: Yay! Happy that you think so! Haha. And thanks a gazillion for reviewing! You're totally welcome! I love love love updating (almost as much as I love revies hehehe)**

**TWHATT18: Thanks so much **

**.Black (Yani): Thanks so much for reviewing! It was great to hear from you again! Ah you're sooo lucky I wish I had an older sister! Hahaha of course he does! But does he realize it? That's the burning question. And it seems to be that she _does_ like him back ;) Thanks again, I love your reviews! **


	29. The Names

**Here's a shout out to Girl-With-No-Name-x who was my 200th reviewer! XD I shall reward you with the world's biggest gummy bear!**

Ch 29 The Names _September_

It was with a bittersweet apprehension that I pushed my heavily loaded trolley through the barrier between Platforms 9 and 10. Dad had refused to drive me down, so I'd had to take the tube. Emily wanted to come, but I'd flat out refused to let her as she'd have to have taken the tube back all by herself. We'd said goodbye up at the house. I still felt incredibly guilty for leaving her, despite her protests that she could handle it.

Life was so different without Mum around. I felt myself missing her desperately though I still didn't know why. It wasn't as if she had ever been particularly motherly towards me. On top of this I was nervous about how my friends were going to react when I saw them next. I wasn't the only one who'd be grieving. Poor Alice had lost five members of her extended family.

I felt the usual rush of excitement as I looked around the busy platform and the gleaming train. I remembered my very first day. I certainly didn't want to relive those years. Then again, I wasn't entirely content with life at the moment either... I suppose there was nothing to do but push on.

As I headed over to the baggage drop off, I felt a warm hand reach from behind and touch my cold one.

"REMUS!" I shrieked, stopping the trolley and spinning around to embrace him. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too Jace. How've you been?" He held me at an arm's length and gave me a quick once over. "Jaycee...You're so skinny. And pale." I could tell he was a little shocked. Especially when him noticed my bruises and cuts that had yet to heal. "Jace? What's going on?"

"Home's not been so great... that's all." I mumbled, looking at my feet. He looked sad for a moment and then hugged me again, conveying comfort easily.

"Thanks, Rem." I smiled at him weakly. Then I noticed how pale he looked, himself. And the dark bags under his eyes. I remembered that last night was a full moon. "Oh Remus. You and me. Neither of us have had the best summer, have we."

He shrugged and dumped his bags on my trolley. "Let's drop these off and find the others."

The train ride was, as I had feared, rather subdued. Lily and Mary were definitely treading carefully around Alice and me. I hated that they felt like they needed to do that. I left the compartment for a while, sick of their hushed voices and selected words. It was then I saw Sirius again. He waved warmly at me, but I, still feeling overwhelmed and to be honest a little confused about what I had felt yesterday nodded and hurriedly walked away in the opposite direction. I felt bad for brushing him off, but I wanted to sort out exactly what I was feeling towards him before I spoke to him again.

I rode up to the castle with Remus, James and Peter. Sirius was probably, no doubt, with his latest conquest. It was a silent and a little awkward journey, but I was grateful no one had yet asked me how I was feeling. Remus had deduced what was going on by now and had his arm wrapped protectively around my shoulders. I was so lucky to have a Remus, and I would never forget it, I thought to myself.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V

"I'm just going to Madam Pomfrey before bed." Remus muttered to Sirius, James, Peter and I.

"You'll miss the speech!" Mary exclaimed, overhearing. He shrugged before slinking towards the grandiose doors. No one else said much as we were all rather subdued. The sorting had just taken place giving us the most new Gryffindors we've had in a while, 14. The hat had delivered an outright prediction this year. A war was never closer. For Alice, it seemed, the war had already started. She wasn't sitting with us, rather with Frank Longbottom from the year above. On the train she'd told us his parents had been friends with her older cousins. They'd been at the funeral too. Frank being the closest to Alice's age and recognizing her from school, hadn't left her side much all day. They were now firm friends. Joined in grief. It was amazing how such tragedies could instigate such strong bonds.

Watching Remus slowly make his way out of the Hall, I was overcome by a sense of terrible pity for him. He looked so lonely and small. It just wasn't right! Remus was the nicest person I knew. Why did he have to suffer like this? Why should anyone ever have to? I glared at the boys, all of whom looked slightly taken aback.

"That's it." I stated firmly. "You know what lesson tonight. We are finishing this thing and we are finishing soon." I tried not to make eye contact with Sirius. Peter gulped. I didn't blame him. He had not shown much promise so far. In 4 months all he could produce was a haze-y mist. James gritted his teeth and looked determined. He had been thinking the way I had, I could tell. I stole a glance at Sirius. He was looking a bit put out with my lack of acknowledgement. I didn't really blame him, but I was nervous to face him still. Lily raised her eyebrows upon hearing this. I knew she didn't know what we were talking about, but I also knew her well enough to be fully aware of the fact she was going to do her best to find out. She opened her mouth, but was cut short by a familiar slitherly voice that made my blood boil.

"Hello Aigleigh. It was superb catching up with you yesterday." Malfoy popped the 'p' of 'superb' clearly indicating how _un_superb he found our little meeting. I must say, I felt the same way. Nott and Avery guffawed on either side of him. Was he really NEVER without those two?

"Yes. Yes it was. Now bugger off and go bother someone else." I hissed, not taking my eyes off the mashed potatoes on my plate. I felt Sirius' eyes on me and looked up quickly to meet his stare. We both very quickly and awkwardly, averted our eyes, mine returning to my dinner. Malfoy looked around the table with the smirk he seemed to have constantly plastered on his face.

"What's this I see? Black and Aigleigh seem to be rather distant this night. Broken up already, have we?" He snickered. Nott and Avery joined in.

"What?" James said, aghast. "You two weren't going out, were you!" He glared at Sirius with vengeance.

"No we weren't." I kicked James under the table with my foot.

"Yeah.." Sirius agreed, also very focused on his dinner.

"Remember what I told you, Aigleigh. Watch yourself. The Dark Lord is very interested in those with... hidden talents." He sneered at us and regally glided away, Nott and Avery following suit, if a little less gracefully.

Mary had been listening intently for most of the conversation with a look of concern plastered on her face. "What's that supposed to mean, Jaycee?" She tilted her head to the side and raised an eyebrow.

"I have no idea, Mary." I replied, trying to sound as bemused as she was. Really, however, just under the surface I was bubbling with discord and fear. What had he meant when he had said that? Surely, _surely_ he couldn't know... I had been so careful! And neither Remus nor Sirius would have told _Malfoy_ of all people. Had they? No. They would never have betrayed me like that. Then what could he possibly have meant?

I sat in silence for the rest of dinner, replaying the moment and concocting all sorts of ideas of what he had meant. But each seemed as unlikely as the former. I didn't even listen throughout Dumbledore's speech. I knew it would just reinforce the hat's song. What did Malfoy know? How did he know it? Those we the two questions burning in my mind.

"Jace? We heading off before bed then?" James shook my shoulder. I started, awoken from my daze.

"Uh- yup!" I stood up too quickly and got a bit of a head rush. "Let's go! We are going to work our asses off tonight."

And work our assess off we did. Or they did. I just yelled a lot. Which was plenty fun.

"Goldy, pleeeaaaase, we're dying over here! Can we take a break for a minute?" Sirius begged and collapsed on the floor, exhausted. James and Peter nodded frantically.

"No! You can take a break when Peter produces a corpeal patronus. You two just keep practicing your animagus." I realized I was acting similar to a slave-driver, but I was doing it for Remus. And because I had a lot of pent up frustration from the summer that needed to get out in less than violent manners.

"Looks like we're stuck here forever! Even I didn't take this long." James complained. Peter frowned.

"Hey don't be mean. Peter can do it." I slapped his arm. "Come on Peter! Happy! Think HAPPY!"

"Ok ok! I'm trying." He squeaked and squeezed his eyes shut again. To produce some more vapour.

James and Sirius groaned and slouched against the walls of the classroom, having given up for the night. I no longer cared. I just wanted Peter to get his damn patronus.

"Again." I sighed.

It took another half an hour, but finally, _finally_on what must have been over a 1000 attempts Peter managed to produce a real proper patronus. A rat. James and Sirius both howled with laughter, watching the little silver animal scuffle around the room. Peter looked a bit put out. I didn't blame him. Who'd want to turn into a rat? But I, as the teacher, had to be encouraging.

"Yay!" I cheered. "Good job, Pete!" I joined the other two on the floor. "Leave him alone, you sodding... sods." I managed to come up with.

"Sodding... sods?" Sirius raised one eyebrow and snickered.

"Oh shut up." I poked his cheek. He grabbed my hand away from his face. My heart rate sped up and I felt a bolt of electricity rush up my veins when he touched my hand. I ripped my hand away from his and knew for a fact I was blushing. What the hell was going on?

He awkwardly folded his hands together and shuffled his legs around. James nudged his friend and gave him a perplexed look. Sirius shrugged and looked away.

"Soooo anywayyyy." James tried to break tension. Peter sat down with us, happier now that he'd made some headway.

"Nicknames! I've decided _I__'__m_going to be Prongs!"

We all looked at him strangely.

"You know... cause I'm a stag..." He sounded disappointed that his genius hadn't immediately clicked.

"Ok, _Prongs._" Sirius laughed. "I'll beeee... Hmmmm... Uhh... Wagtail?"

Despite the tense atmosphere between the two of us, I couldn't help but break into shrieks of laughter. James was rolling on the floor, red faced, howling with laughter. Peter straining to keep a straight face, afraid of what would happen if he laughed at Sirius Black.

"N-n-no! P-p-please!" I spluttered. "I could n-n-never take you seriously a-a-again!"

"Fine. What do you think then, if you're so great at names?" He crossed his arms and scowled.

"I dunno. It's your nickname." I had finally managed to contain my laughter and biting my bottom lip hard so not to lose control again.

"Be something cooler than... Wagtail!" James snorted. "That's more of a Peter name!" Suddenly his face lit up. "PETER'S WORMTAIL!"

"I don't want to be called-" Peter began.

"BRILLIANT MATE!" Sirius cut him off, high fiving James.

"Now you... Dogs have... tails, long noses... I don't like longnose much," James mused.

Sirius and I exchanged looks, forgetting for a second our previous awkward moment.

"Dogs also have- hmmmmm paws, pads on their paws... paddedpaw? No that's silly... Padpaw? Better, better. Foot. Padfoot. I LIKE IT!" He suddenly exclaimed. "Sirius Orion Black, from this day on you shall be known as Padfoot!"

Sirius and James dig a little victory dance in their seated positions, or what I assume was a dance. It was humorous, nonetheless.

"So now you've got Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs... Very very cool, guys" I said sarcastically. They didn't seem to pick up on it though.

"I know right!" James said excitedly. "Tell Evans that I, single handed, came up with the nicknames for our group. I am a pure genius. She won't be able to resist my intelligence." He sighed happily, thinking about Lily again.

"Um. No." I said.

"What are we going to call ourselves? We have to have a super de duper cool _gang_ name." Sirius interrupted James daydream.

"The Lion Pride?" Peter suggested. The two boys looked at him.

"I will not dignify that suggestion with a response." James said. I rolled my eyes. Here they were, almost 15 years old, discussing gang names.

"It should be like The Troublemakers," Sirius began, hastily finishing when James opened his mouth "NOT that, obviously, but something LIKE that!"

"Ok what are the synonyms of troublemakers then?"

"Wow Potter. Big word. I'm impressed." I said. James pulled a tongue.

"The Pirates"

"The Pillagers"

"The Riffraffs."

"Dear Merlin don't be the Riffraffs. I'd have to stop hanging out with you." I begged. They ignored my input and continued shooting names at each other.

"I heard a really cool one once." James rapped his fingernails on the floor, thinking. "It began with an M or something."

"Mmmmmalice? Mmmmmadman? Mmmmmarauder?" I offered, trying to think up synonyms. James leapt up, pulling me with him and hugged me so tightly I felt that my ribs might explode.

"Jaaaames! Can't-Breathe!" I gasped. He released me, grinning widely.

"THE MARAUDERS!" He raised his arms and bowed to an imaginary crowd. Sirius applauded. Peter quickly joined in the applause. I covered my face with my hands.

"GENIUS! You, Prongs, aka James Harry Potter and a bloody genius!" Sirius, or should I say 'Padfoot' clapped him on the back.

"Why thank you, Padfoot my man." James replied.

"Ok _Marauders_" I mocked, "I think it's time to head off now before we're found."

They willingly complied, very happy with their new names.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V

"Jaycee," I heard Lily hiss from her bed. I froze in the rather awkward position of halfway through taking large step to my bed. Lily huffed. "I _can_ see you, you know."

I took two more large, albeit loud steps to my bed and pulled the covers over my face. "No you can't!"

"You're such an idiot." Lily lay back and turned over to face away from me. "Remind me why I like you again?" She mumbled.

"Because I'm excellent comic relief?" I suggested, changing into my pyjamas under the covers to stay warm.

"Yes. This is true." She replied. "I'm not going to bother asking where you went tonight because you never answer me, but Jaycee for the love of Merlin I will find out."

I snuggled into my pillow and duvet. "You're such a busy-body, Lil."

"Am not!" She replied indignantly, sitting up.

"Are too, but don't worry, I love you despite your busy-bodyness." I yawned.

Lily huffed again and almost lay back down again. She paused and then asked, "So what's going on between you and Black then?"

"I rest my case..." I grumbled. "Nothing. Now shush and go to sleep."

"You don't fool me. You like him. I know you do." She said smugly before yawning and shuffling around to get comfortable again.

"Do not..." I replied. But even as I said it, as I had so many times before, I was beginning to think maybe it wasn't quite the truth anymore. And that worried me. I couldn't like Sirius Black! He was the biggest womanizer in the school! And he was my friend. Even if I stood a chance, which I surely didn't, I didn't want to be just another notch on his bedpost. I wouldn't be.

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	30. The Lesson

Ch 30 The Lesson _December_

Mary collapsed into the chair next to me, late to class, as usual.

"Miss MacDonald! May I inquire as to the reason you are so very late?"

Mary audibly gulped as McGonagall raised her voice. The other students were giving her sympathetic looks. Everyone had been on the receiving end of one of McGonagall's lectures at least once.

"And what have you got on your feet? Take those ridiculous socks off this instant!" She raised her thin eyebrows. I giggled as Mary sombrely bent down and pulled off her fuzzy red and green bed socks. It was so typical Mary.

"Just getting in the Christmas spirit, Professor."Mary mumbled under her breath.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for tardiness. Now where was I..." She turned back to the blackboard. "Ahh, right. Animagi!"

My eyes widened involuntarily. I, very surreptitiously of course, glanced around the classroom to find James. Our eyes met briefly. My gaze fell on Sirius, whom James was next to. Sirius was sitting up straight and looked as if he'd been stupefied. I sighed. I'd not seen him much over the past few months. Except in classes and Quidditch of course. And the occasional Animagi lesson. I couldn't bear the thought of him finding out about my stupid crush. He clearly didn't feel the same way, currently dating Greta Beesley.

"Becoming an Animagus is very difficult and requires excellent strength and grit. The ministry takes care to watch those attempting it. Generally it takes many years to fully become and understand your animal."

I almost snorted. Excellent strength? More like the strength of over 1000 men. To this day, that was physically the most draining thing I've ever done. And I was a Vigorater! It was practically in my nature to drain energy.

"Who here is familiar with the Patronus Charm?" McGonagall glanced around the class. A few people put their hands up. As well as the Marauders and I. And Lily. "Right. I do not expect any of you to be able to cast this charm at the moment. It is up to your Defence Professor to decide if you are ready for it just yet, but as if relates to Animagi we will be covering it briefly today. Miss Evans, you're familiar with the charm?"

Lily, sitting in front of a still irritated about losing her warm socks Mary and I, sat up a little straighter. "Uh yes, Professor. I've never tried it though..."

"Let's let today be the day you do. Up to the front, if you please." She tapped her foot impatiently when Lily didn't immediately listen. "Chop Chop, Miss Evans. I don't have all day."

Lily tentatively rose from her seat and made her way to the front. I'm sure McGonagall chose Lily because she had the least chance of screwing it up.

"On the count of three, I want you to think of your happiest memory and say 'Expecto Patronum,' like so," McGonagall demonstrated, a silver-haired cat appearing, much to the surprise of the students unaware of the spell. Mary almost fell out of her chair with surprise. It was everything I had not to burst out laughing.

"Did you SEE THAT!" She hissed in my ear, in awe. "That was a-freaking-MAZING!"

"Shh! Watch Lily!" I swatted her face away from my ear.

Lily blushed, noticing the entire class looking at her. She closed her eyes tightly and muttered, "Expecto Patronum." From the tip of her wand the most fragile, exquisite silver doe burst into existence. A gasp sounded around the class. My jaw dropped and I looked over at James again. He too was gaping at the patronus.

He whipped his head around to meet my stare and mouthed silently, "We are so meant for eachother!"

I must say, the doe patronus was a bit of a shock.

"Excellent! Excellent, Miss Evans! Take 30 points for Gryffindor!" McGonagall clapped, clearly relieved Lily had managed the spell. "Now class, the Animagus takes the form of the patronus. If Miss Evans here were to ever become an Animagus, she would transform into a doe."

Lily blinked, overwhelmed by the prospect and slowly let her doe fade away. I couldn't wait to tell her what James' patronus was...

She returned to her seat, definitely sitting a little taller now.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V V

"JACE she's a doe! Lilykins is a doe and I'm a stag! We're so perfect for eachother!" James rambled on, dreamily looking into space.

"I know James. Remember, I was there too." I said patiently. I had been listening to him the whole way to Herbology. It was getting a little irritating.

"But... she's a doe. And me. I'm a STAG! Match made in heaven." He sighed contentedly. I turned to Remus, completely given up on my lovestruck friend.

"I can't believe McGonagall gave us three feet on Animagi! Three. Feet." I moaned, the homework piling up. I really didn't want to do any at home. Christmas was already going to be... less than pleasant, without mountains of essays to write.

I heard Sirius say to James, "Alright mate, you two are perfect for eachother, now try telling her that." James looked significantly more subdued.

"I know, it's like she's trying to kill us. I've been so far behind in homework since the last... you know what." Remus replied, subconsciously rubbing his side.

"Was it a bad one?" I softly asked.

He nodded. When I looked at him sympathetically, he said, "But don't worry about me. I've... gotten used to it."

This Animagi thing had to happen soon. It just had to.

"OI PRONGS!" Remus broke the silence by dragging his dazed friend backwards from the large, rather dangerous looking plants he was heading straight for outside Greenhouse 3.

James blinked and looked at the tentacle-y, thorn covered plants in front of him. His eyes widened. "Thank you, Moons." He said, twitching a little.

Remus looked at me and rolled his eyes. I struggled to contain a snicker.

Sprout popped her head out of the greenhouse we were standing by. "What are you lot doing messing around? Get in here immediately! You're late as it is..."

We bashfully skidded through the door to find our classmates, glove and safety mask clad, standing in front of some Devils' Snares and a pile of long, thin rectangles.

Sirius looked at James and me and widened his eyes. I could feel a blush rise to my cheeks when I felt his eyes on me, so forced myself not to look back. I refused to ruin our friendship by acting stupid and pathetic like his little fan club.

I last time I'd repotted Devils' Snares seemed like so long ago. So much had happened since.

"Partners. Aigleigh and Timmings, Black and Raeden, Creevy and Prewett, Evans and Potter, Hillson and Pettigrew, MacDonald and Lupin..." She continued reading names and I smiled at Sarah Timmings, who smiled back. Sirius winked at Bec Raeden who looked very pleased with her partnership, while her friend Katy Hillson... didn't look as enthusiastic. Mary and Remus were shooting eachother glances from under their eyelashes when they thought the other wasn't looking. And Lily was FURIOUS. Spitting.

"Wha-ch- not- why-HIM?" She spluttered.

"LILYKINS!" James popped up beside her grinning widely. She gave us girls a last desperate look before unwillingly following James to a spot at the benches.

Sarah and I were potting faster than anyone. It really was blindingly simple, unless you didn't properly smoke the plant.

"So... there's a Gryffindor/Ravenclaw match coming up." I said, trying to make conversation.

"Indeed there is." She laughed, stuffing a particularly large plant into its new pot. "How's your team?"

I raised my eyebrows secretively, "If I tell you I'd have to kill you."

She smiled and rolled her eyes. "Your Seeker's pretty good. I mean, she almost managed to pull off a perfect Wronski Feint in your last Hufflepuff match! Talia's forbidden Reed to even attempt it!"

"Yeah, Ria's pretty good. Only she's not sure if she wants to continue. I don't know what we'll do without her. Wood's ok though. This is his last year. If she quits next year, no skin off his nose. Or so he says."

Our Quidditch conversation was interrupted by a little first year boy nervously tapping on the door. He handed something to Sprout and quickly skedaddled in the opposite direction.

"Miss Aigleigh. I have a letter for you." She inspected the scroll.

"Thanks Professor, Sprout."

I unfurled it, ignoring Sarah's questioning look. I hoped it was from Dumbledore. We'd not had a lesson all year! When I asked McGonagall where he was she said he'd been... away. Just away. No other information.

_I apologize for interrupting your lessons. I have only just returned and didn't manage to send this during breakfast. If you are able, I would like to see you for another meeting at 8pm. We have a lot to catch up on. I hope you have had a good first semester. _

_Professor Dumbledore._

_PS. Over the summer I discovered a delightful Muggle candy called Jelly Beans. _

"POTTER! YOU'RE GOING TO GET US KILLED!"

I glanced up from my note to see James attempting to repot the Devils' Snare without the Smoker. Reckless. As usual. Clearly trying to impress a certain redhead. It didn't seem to be working.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V

"Jaycee! How nice to see you again. My, it has been a while, hasn't it?" Professor Dumbledore beamed at me from behind his desk. I collapsed into the comfy armchair he'd conjured in front of his desk.

"Yes, I almost thought we were done for good!" I joked.

"Never done, Jaycee. Never done." He looked sombre. My jokey mood evaporated immediately. "Now, before we get straight back into it, how are you? Is your family alright?"

I blinked and sat up a bit straighter, then, realizing he meant about my Mother, relaxed slightly. "Oh. Yeah. You know, it's hard to ever completely get over these things."

He nodded, looking at me with a piercing stare.

He quickly changed topic. "Right. Onwards. I have some theories on Vigoraters and Animagi. In particular, your Animagus, the Phoenix. When in your Animagus form, you will become, in essence, an actual phoenix."

My confusion must have been evident on my face because he chuckled and said, "This _means_ you will be able to be 'reborn from the ashes,' you will have the power to lift immensely heavy loads, and of course your tears will have healing powers."

I widened my eyes and grinned, "Awesome!" My first thought was that Sirius was going to go mental when he heard I would be stronger than him. Then I realized I'd probably never tell him... It was in that moment that it hit me. Despite my efforts not to ruin our friendship, we were slipping further away every day. And the only reason I could come up with for this was that he'd figured out that I liked him and didn't like me back.

"Yes. It is very 'awesome.'" He smiled. "Have you been practicing?"

"Only a bit!" I laughed, pushing Sirius from my mind. I'd practiced almost every day for the past semester.

"Excellent!" He clapped his hands together. "Show me."

I promptly jumped up and stood in the centre of the circular room, eager to transform again. It really never got old. I felt a warm heat run through my bones and soon, very painlessly found myself once again looking at the wooden desk of the headmaster.

"You _have_been practicing! Very good, Jaycee. I am truly proud of you." His eyes twinkled with pride. I cooed contentedly and spread my wings, gracefully bounding onto his desk. I wanted to be a phoenix forever. It was always so hard to transform back.

"l would very much like to test my theories. Jaycee-" he began, but I cut him off by gripping tightly to his arm with my claws and pulling him upwards in flight. I was expecting him to be much more of a challenge, but it was a cinch, really.

"Jaycee! I'm much too old to be soaring around my office!" Dumbledore laughed and attempted to unhook my claws. I grudgingly put him down.

"Thank you." He bowed his head slightly. "We cannot test the rebirth just yet, but see if you are able to produce some tears. Here," He lifted his sleeve, revealing a long thin cut on his arm. For the first time since he'd sent me the note, letting me know he was back... I wondered where he'd come back from. Nevertheless, I managed to muster up some tears and let them drip onto his cut, which sizzled on contact and instantly disappeared.

"Ah, I am lucky to have you." Dumbledore pulled his sleeve back down and smiled. "Thank you Jaycee. If you don't mind returning to your other form, we can have another little chat."

I had transformed again and sat back in the poofy chair. "Professor, where did you get... that?" I gestured to his arm.

"It is a story for a later date." He said simply. Merlin he was infuriating sometimes. "I do believe, as two of my theories have been proven correct, being reborn from the ashes is even more a definite possibility. Let's move on from Animagi for now, however. We only have a little more time tonight. I was thinking it is high time for you to learn Occlumency."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Occluma-what?"

"Occlumency. The ability to block another from penetrating your mind."

"Like... mind reading?"

He paused, searching for the exact words. "Almost. The mind is more complex than a book. Easily read. It is more like a constant flow of semi-coherent thoughts, images, and sounds. Legilimency is the ability to search through all these complicated thoughts to unearth memories. Pure memories. Recent and less so. Voldemort, I am afraid, is an excellent Legimens. I think, as a precaution, it would be wise to learn to shut your mind to intruders."

It took me a while to process this correctly. "So he'd pretty much be able to see my whole life if he wanted." That was a scary thought.

"The reason you must be prepared. May I ask you to stand again? I will attempt to penetrate your mind, and you will attempt to block me. Release your mind of all thoughts and emotions. Imagine a brick wall."

I stood and shut my eyes, focusing.

"Ready? _Legilimens._"

My memories sped through my mind. Watching the stars with my father when I was young. Draining the swimming pool. My parents fighting later that night over the strange thing I had just done. Emily falling from the tree. I tried to block him. I focused so hard on a wall. Wall. Block. Barrier. Whatever worked. Slowly but surely the images likened to a television screen with poor resolution.

"Good. Let's try again."

Before I could even catch my breath he had penetrated my mind again. And again. And again. And again. We spent the next hour practicing, until I could completely throw him off. It was utterly exhausting. Mentally this time. Unlike the Animagus exhausting, which was definitely more physical. The good thing about Dumbledore was that he didn't ask any questions about any of the memories he saw. And there were definitely some questionable ones. In fact, I don't think he was even paying attention to what he was seeing at all. This made me feel better knowing that he respected my privacy. I definitely didn't want him paying attention to the secret, illegal Animagi lessons I was giving the others.

"We have most definitely caught up a lot tonight. You worked very hard and it has shown. Keep practicing your Occlumency. Next lesson I think we'll begin learning Legilimency." He said, fiddling with one of his silver instruments that was spitting out green smoke. "Good night, Jaycee. Sleep well."

"Thanks sir. Good night." I turned to make my way out of the room. Suddenly I remember what had been bugging me for the past few months. A little snake in the back of my mind. "Professor!" I called and spun around. "At the beginning of the semester Lucius Malfoy said that Voldemort was interesting in those with 'special talents' or something to that extent. Do you- do you think he knows?"

"Did he now..." Dumbledore, not turning away from his fiddling, said softly. He was silent for a long time. So long I thought that was all he had to say on the matter. I crossed my arms angrily and opened my mouth to remind him of all the times he had said how important it was that Voldemort not find out about me.

"Do not fret, Jaycee." He finally said. "I will look into this matter. All will be well that ends well. Good night now." He turned his head to smile at me.

"'Night sir." I grunted, feeling a bit rejected. He hadn't dispelled my fear at all, at best. In fact, I was almost feeling a bit more nervous now.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V

When I returned to the common room, everyone had gone to bed. It _was_ past curfew. Our lesson had run a little late. I was still fuming from the lack of recognition Dumbledore has shown my problem. All will be well that ends well? What if it DOESN'T end well? What then, Oh Wise One.

I slouched towards the stairs, mumbling about stupid beards and bloody distracting green smoke under my breath. Suddenly I heard a sound from the couches by the fire. I whipped my head about to see the silhouette of Lily Evans, hunched over, shaking a little.

"Lily?" I asked, shocked and raced over to her. "What happened!"

"M-my s-sister's getting marrieeeeed!" She wailed. I sat down next to her.

"I didn't know you had a sister."

"I-I do." She sniffed.

"But that's great! Why are you crying?" I said brightly.

"Sh-she doesn't want me there." Lily broke down into tears again. My cheerful expression melted and I wrapped my arms around her. "She h-h-hates magic. I'm just a f-freak to- _hic_- her."

"I know the feeling." I whispered, rubbing her back. After about a minute she had calmed down enough to speak again.

"Mum forced her to let me go to the wedding. My own sister's being forced to let me attend her WEDDING day." She hugged her knees, letting her long red hair completely cover her face and most of her body.

"I'm so sorry Lily." I didn't know what to say. Poor Lily. It must be awful, having the person who's supposed to be your best friend, your literal other half, hate you.

"Mum said I could bring Alice, but her family's going to Greece. Will you come with me instead? Please?" She asked a pleading look on her face. "It's at the end of the summer. You can stay with me for the last week. Please Jaycee. I can't go alone. I just... can't. That would be awful." She paused for a moment and then said more softly, "but how could I not go. That would be even more awful."

"Oh Lily. I'd love to go with you... but I can't leave Emily for so long." I sighed, feeling torn.

"Bring her too then! If Tuney really doesn't want her to go, I'm sure she'd be fine in my house for a while." Lily was so desperate not to go alone. I understood how she felt.

"Okay then. I'll go with you." I smiled.

"Jace thank you so much!" She squeezed me tightly, tears falling from her emerald eyes again, soaking my school robes.

"It's alright, Lils. Now come on, it's so late. We should go to bed."

I certainly had a lot to think about that night. From information about my animagus, to Voldemort's powers, to Lily's family issues, even to how a wedding worked as I'd never been to one in my life. I didn't think neither Lily nor I would be getting a particularly good night's sleep tonight.

**WHOA! Sorry guys. That was an AGE since I last updated. It's just been so hectic cause exams are coming up SOON! Ahhh. Well tonight I gave myself a well deserved break and wrote another chappie for you guys. I'm just going to apologize in advance, updates will be coming a bit slower over the next month... dreaded exam months... dun dun duuuuuuuuun. But after that it'll be back to normal again **

**Thanks for all the amazing support! **

**LittleMissDreamer7: After a VERY long wait, here you are! Hope you liked it haha glad you liked the 'birth of the Marauders'**

**Jaisler: Well Emily's nine now BUT I was thinking... OMG... OMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG That's it! I've got it! HOLY CRAP THIS IS PERFECT! Wow! Ok. Thank you so so so much for your review! And don't fret! The books will remain intact :D**

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**Ivori: Not from experience... pshhhh... not at all hahaha. Thanks for the nice words Nice words are nice :D**

**Girl-With-No-Name-x: Oh you do make me laugh! :D What a cool idea. A gummy hat. "What a stupid hat." ten minutes later "I'm so hungry." "Want something to eat?" "YES!" "MWA you said my hat was stupid! NO GUMMY FOR YOU!" *person two noms gummy bear while person 1 dies of starvation* ANYWAY thanks for the review! And I know, his son is so hot ;)**

**.Black (Yani): Thanks for the super long review! I love love love reading them! You're amazing! Haha Wagtail...stroke of genius? Not so much... lol. Padfoot is most definitely the best. Oh it is good to have so many Sirius lovers in one place! :D Glad you're enjoying it! **

**VictoriaWeasley: Thankee for reeevieweeeeng XD As Jaycee says in this chapter, "if I tell you, I'll have to kill you." But maybe... maybe not as well. **

**Victorious Penguins: Loving the penname! Where DID you come up with it! :D Also LOVING the review! That was soosooo sooo nice to read. You made me feel like an actual author! Thanks so much **

**RMH RMH: Just you wait for the next chapter ;) ;) ;) hehehee thanks for reviewing but ;)**

**Luli Cullen: Thanks so much! I really did want to add her in, but then I remembered she was never mentioned in any of the books so yeah... sadness. **

**Night Hawk 97: This was another review that just made me want to SING! Despite my amazing window breaking abilities! Thanks sososososos much So glad you're enjoying it. You know, I don't often become speechless, but I'm becoming so more and more often in replying to these reviews. So thank you. **

**Hellfire Putten Ninja: You make laff hehehe. Ok. I accept this honor with responsibility and pride. I will try my very best not to break the requirements. *bows head* Thank you for your kindness and allowance. (And the review lol XD)**


	31. The Confession

Ch 31 The Confession _March_

Christmas had come and gone, quickly thankfully. Dad... had disappeared. I never saw him anymore. He didn't shout. He didn't hit. How could he, when he literally didn't come in the house while we were awake once all holidays. Emily looked emancipated. She had been feeding herself. The food in the house had run out only a month after I left last summer. And he didn't even notice! How could he not notice his own daughter looked like the poster child for starvation? I suppose it was an improvement. She had no more bruises. And the constant fear in her eyes had diminished a little. I too, felt more relaxed at home, knowing the creaking sounds I heard at night were just the house settling, not my father coming up the stairs.

For Christmas, I took Emily to see the light show in Hyde's Park. She loved it, but somehow I don't think any muggle form of "magic" was ever going to leave her speechless again. I let her do all the things normal families do on Christmas. I wanted to take her to the shopping centre to see Santa, but the line was too long. She said it was ok. She didn't believe in Santa anymore, anyway. That hit me like a ton of bricks. She had grown up. At 9 years of age, she didn't believe in fantasy. 

It was hard leaving, it always is. At least I was convinced she wasn't going to starve. We'd nicked some money of the emergency store in the study when Dad was out and bought enough preserved food to feed half of England. Still, the train ride was rather subdued. Lily'd had a hard Christmas too, with all the wedding talk. She told us her sister, Petunia, hadn't acknowledged her twice the whole holiday. Alice wasn't speaking. It was the first Christmas she'd had without the whole family.

The first few months flew by, as they always do when semester begins. I had more lessons with Dumbledore regarding Legilimency. By March I could completely block Legilimens. Every time. No effort. And I could penetrate the mind if the owner was unaware. I was getting there. I still didn't know where there was... but I was getting there.

Since the beginning of term, Sirius had been avoiding me more than ever. It was awful. Every time he skidded around a corner or ducked through secret passages to avoid me, I felt worse. It also made me a bit mad. What the hell? When I complained to Remus, he said it was probably all a coincidence. Bullocks to that. It certainly made Animagus lessons awkward.

They were honestly getting nowhere with these lessons. I was at my wit's ends. We had done absolutely everything Dumbledore told me. I was putting so much into this, blood, sweat and tears. They were too. I knew it wouldn't be long before they gave up completely. Why was it SO hard for them? It hadn't taken me nearly half this time. So I wracked my brains and went back to the drawing board. In late February I realized something. I wasn't a witch. I wasn't even HUMAN. There must be something I was missing. Something _else_ that was part of the equation! I headed to the library.

So on top of school work, lessons from Dumbledore, Quidditch, and a social life, I had hours long periods in the library searching for anything that could help. It was hard. I knew I wasn't sleeping properly, but something had to give. This term it was just going to have to be health.

V V V V V V V VV V V

I was in the library again. A two tonne book in front of me. It was late, about 11:30, almost time for me to be heading back as curfew ended about an hour and a half ago. James had lent me his brand new... well... really old, but new to him... invisibility cloak. He'd got it for Christmas from his father. I was the only other person besides Sirius who'd he'd even let touch it. I told James that no good would ever come of him having the ability to become invisible. I was right. In the short few months we'd been back, the Marauders had caused more trouble than ever. And the teachers were losing their minds trying to discover the culprits. I knew I should leave, but I was determined to find at least a hint tonight. Weeks of nothing, I was getting fed up.

I heard the library door open softly and I froze. My eyes widened. I couldn't be found out. I quickly extinguished the lantern and pulled the cloak over myself and the book. Footsteps grew louder and then faded. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Too soon. Suddenly I felt someone's hand brush over the top of my head. Crap.

"Uhh? Goldy? Is that you?" I heard as the no longer so mysterious voice grasped the air around me, trying to find where I was. I sighed and pulled the cloak off.

"You scared me. Next time announce yourself or something."

"What? Just walk in here and go 'HEY FILCH IT'S SIRIUS BLACK!" He raised an eyebrow. I shrugged, wanting to get back to my research and not liking the butterflies currently multiplying in my stomach.

He sat next to me. "Advanced and Complex Transfiguration. Bit of light reading?" He pulled the heavy book towards him.

"Oi, sod off, this is mine. I stole it first." I pulled it, with extreme effort, back.

"Well... what are you reading?" He tried to take it off me again, but this time I was ready.

"No! And I'm actually researching for _your_ animagus. Now please go away, I'm kinda busy. What are you even doing down here?" I knew I was being a bit rude. But a blush was beginning to creep to my face and I was incredibly pissed off with how much he'd been ignoring me at late.

"I asked Prongs. He said you'd probably be down here." He looked away.

"Why? It's not as if you've been super friendly towards me lately." I flipped the page, aiming for nonchalance... failing a little.

"Oh... well... I um. I. Well you see." He stuttered, searching for the words. "I miss you."

I had to turn my head to hide my grin. He missed me! Sirius missed me! My heart swelled. Breathe, Jaycee! He's bored. He's got nothing to do. Everyone else is in bed. That's why he searched you out. My heart sunk again as I processed this information and turned back to face him.

"Look, Sirius, if you're bored just go and wake up Saskia. I'm sure she'd be willing to do whatever you want..." It irritated me that I'd been keeping tabs on his girlfriends.

"I don't want to. Jaycee... I have to tell you something." He bit his thumbnail. "I don't like Sasha."

"Saskia." I corrected.

"Yeah her... I don't like her. I like... I like you."

I didn't get it at first. I just sat there, not comprehending. Then it clicked. He liked _me?__ME?_No. No way. ME? Why? He didn't. He couldn't. Could he? No. Of course not. Never. But what if he did...

"What?" I said, flabbergasted. He looked at me, straight in the eyes.

"I really do."

"No." I laughed. "No you don't. Don't be... ridiculous."

"I'm not being-" He protested, reaching out for my hand. I snatched mine away.

"No Sirius. Stop and think. I've been your friend since third year. I'm the only consistent girl in your whole life. You're confusing friendship with... something else."

Where was this coming from? What was I doing? I shouldn't care! I should just go along with this. This is what I wanted most. Then my illogical side caught up with my rationality. Where would going along with this insanity get me? On the quickly growing list of Sirius Black's girlfriends. Without his friendship for the rest of my life. This would end badly. Especially because I knew he didn't really like me.

"I'm not, Jaycee. Please believe me." He said softly.

"If I kissed you right now, I guarantee you both of us would feel absolutely nothing." LIES, JAYCEE AIGLEIGH! LIES!

"I would too." He crossed his arms, sulkily. I bit the inside of my cheek. Why wasn't he getting this? It was hard enough to say once. He sat up again, twisted in his chair to face me and said earnestly,"You're amazing, Goldy. I don't want any of those girls. I just want you."

My breathing was becoming a bit staggered and my heart was pounding so hard I was sure he could hear. He was so close, our noses were almost touching. I wiped my sweaty hands discreetly on the discarded cloak. He was so close, I could count the flecks of blue in his almost silver eyes. And then... without warning from my brain, I leaned in and brushed my lips against his. My breath caught in my throat as I felt a sudden spark. It was real. It did exist. I realized what I had just done and quickly moved back a fraction.

I shut my eyes, feeling my cheeks burn. He gasped softly in surprise before leaning back and returning my kiss. And it was better than I had imagined. I couldn't even breathe. My brain was starting to go a bit fuzzy with lack of oxygen. He pulled his chair closer without breaking contact and wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly. I did the same, but I was going to faint soon if I didn't take a breath. In that moment, I didn't care. My heart had stopped, I was sure, and my veins were pulsing with electricity.

Before I was ready it ended.

I could barely think straight. All I wanted to do was lean back, but somehow I knew what I had to do to save this friendship before it ended for good. My limbs felt like jelly, but I managed to muster up the energy to tilt my head to the side and give him a look that clearly said 'I told you so.' I wanted him to deny it. I wanted him to say he _had_ felt something. That he still liked me.

"Yeah," he said calmly, smiling and turned his chair back around. "You were right. Felt nothing. You?"

And with that, my heart shattered. I wanted to cry, but put on a happy face and punched him playfully in the arm. "I'm never wrong! And same, nothing." I said cheerily. BLATANT LIES. "Friends?"

"For sure." He stood up and looked like he was going to hug me, but paused and ruffled my hair instead. "I'm glad we had this...er... talk. You coming up to bed? It's kinda late."

I forced another smile. "Yup. Just coming." I folded the cloak and tucked it, and the book, under my arm. There was no way I was sleeping after that. May as well bring some research up with me.

I had just kissed Sirius Orion Black. It had been one of the most special moments I had ever had... and he'd felt nothing.

V V V V V V V V V V V V

_The Animagus is a most complex and dangerous transfiguration to... _

_He kissed back. He did. But he felt nothing. He said it! He said it so calmly. But why did he kiss me back?_

_-Dangerous transfiguration to complete soundly. Wizards are recommended to speak to the Ministry before-_

_Only recommended? This must be an old book... Why would he kiss back if he didn't like me? _

_While there are cases of significantly powerful wizards and witches to complete the transformation without-_

_That sounds like me... minus the witch bit. Why did I do that? Why did I kiss him? God, I'm still shaking. I can't even hold my wand properly to read. _

_While there are cases of significantly powerful-_

_Wait... I just read that. Oh god. Oh god oh sodding Merlin. What is happening to me! I need to sleep... Why did he say that?_

_-without the Animare Potio, this feat is considered impossible. Rowena Ravenclaw was one of the few to succeed. There is speculation about whether she was even a witch at all. Some argue her golden eyes point to her being a Vigorater, a most powerful and feared magical half-breed, but-_

_There we go again. What, may I ask, is so wrong with Vigoraters? I've yet to come across any example of 'so called' brain destruction. Then again, I haven't come across ANYTHING really... His lips were so soft. NO keep reading. Wait... Wait... _

_-complete the transformation without the Animare Potio, this feat is considered impossible. _

_-without the Animare Potio, this feat... _

_Merlin, I've found it. I've found it. I've... his eyes... Stop it! I've finally found it!_

I shook myself to clear my head of thoughts...Hah. Advanced and Complex Transfiguration wants to know about impossible feats? Try attempting to rid Sirius from your mind after snogging. Animare Potio! I knew from Potions that Potio was Latin for Potion. The Animare Potio must be some type of potion. I flipped to the index of the book, but to no avail. Where was I going to find this potion? It was obviously going to be dangerous. The restricted section would be the only place they would have it, for sure.

I tried so hard to focus on Animare Potio and the Marauders' Animagi, but my mind continuously drifted back to Sirius. I couldn't get him out of my head. His lips. He eyes. What had I done? I had only assured him that he, in fact, felt nothing at all. But then WHY OH WHY did he respond so... enthusiastically. Merlin, I will never understand the male gender if I live to see Dumbledore's age.

My eyes began to droop as I turned back to the page I had found the potion mentioned. Maybe if I was lucky, there'd be more information. But I couldn't concentrate. I kept reading the same sentences over and over and over and over again. I was just... so... tired...

V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V

"Jace! What's wrong with you this morning?" Remus, across from me, tapped his fingernails in front of me. My elbow was smooshed into my toast and my head was dangling precariously close to my pumpkin juice.

"Ah! Nothing... nothing... Tired. Tired. Yes. NO. I'm fine." I muttered, eyes closing again.

"Jacyee! Listen to us! What did you do to Pads last night? Did you confund him? He stumbled in the dorm at midnight like he was on drugs. What did you do?" James, next to me asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Huh?" I yawned. "No. I didn't do... didn't do anything..."

James and Remus exchanged confused looks. I pushed my plate and cup away and rested my head on the table. The bright light of the morning hurt my eyes.

"Uh Jace... I hope you don't think you're skipping breakfast again." Mary flicked my ear. "You can't go all morning with nothing to eat." She and James both pushed me back into a sitting position.

"Mmmmm..." I groaned. "Go away..."

"EAT." She tried to push a piece of toast through my lips.

"MmmMmmMmmmmmmMm"

"One bite."

I frowned, eyes still shut, and let my lips part just a tiny way. She shoved the whole slice in and magically glued my lips together.

"Chew... Gooood. Now swallow."

When I complied, she grinned and unglued my lips. "Yay. Now you've had a nourishing breakfast. Let's go to Charms. Come on Lils, Alice... others."

"I'll take her," Remus sighed and slid around the edge of the table to where I was dozing off again. He put his arms around me and gently lifted me to my feet. "You guys go on ahead... This will take a while." He said grimly as I flopped to the floor, unwilling to move.

He eased me up again. "Come on Jaycee. We have to go to Charms. You can sleep in History of Magic. It's after. Just walk."

We slowly walked through the halls, my head drooping on Remus' shoulder. Last night was way too late. I had stayed up for hours after I left the library.

"So..." Remus said, poking me. "You kissed him, didn't you."

I blinked and stood up straight. "No... As if... PPshh.. f-well-ch-... Good guess."

"What're you going to do now?" He asked seriously.

"Um... well. He said he didn't feel anything. And neither did I!" I added on quickly. "So... nothing... I guess."

Remus looked away and huffed. He muttered something under his breath that I didn't quite catch. Sounded like 'tuna deer' or maybe 'no eyed deer.' Something about a deer. Maybe. Probably not actually...

"So Remus. How goes the wooing of Mary?" I tried to change topic. Remus blushed. He was so sweet.

"Yeah... uh um."

"Awww. You're adorable. You know, she does like..." I stopped myself very quickly. Mary had told me in the strictest confidence that she liked Remus. I can't believe I had almost told him! I really _must_be tired.

"She likes...?" He asked hopefully.

"Caterpillars." I said quickly. Caterpillars? What the hell? May as well go with it. "Oh yeah. Caterpillars. Chrysalides. Butterflies. Real fetish for... all that..."

Remus looked at me strangely. "Um... ok."

I nodded. "I think you two would be gorgeous together! Remus and Mary Lupin. It even sounds perfect! Remus and Mary sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes the love, then comes the marriage!" I sung, getting a high from sleep deprivation. I'm sure Remus was very much regretting volunteering to take me to Charms.

"Jaycee shut up!" He pushed me. I tripped and fell on my bum. "Oh, Merlin! I'm sorry Jace!"

I giggled. "I fell down, Remus. I fell over."

"Yes." He said slowly, extending his hand to help me up. "Now... come on. Let's go to charms."

"No!" I grinned and crossed my arms. "I'm happy! Happy happy happy happy!" I giggled some more.

"Are you drunk?" He pulled me up and sniffed.

"His eyes are amazing, Rem. Have you seen them? They're so pretty." I sighed, thinking about Sirius' eyes again.

Remus smirked and nodded, pulling me along.

"IT'S A BEAUTIFUL MOOOORRRRNIIINGGGGGG! AHHH! I THINK I'LL GO WITH THE TIDE FOR A WHILE!" I sang, whistling the words I didn't know.

"Jace, shhhh. People are trying to learn." He covered my mouth with his hand.

"Bhut um sho awake! Um sho ALEEF!" I mumbled into his hand.

"EACH BIRD IS SINGING HIS OWN SONG! IT'S A BEAUTIFUL MORNING! I'M GOING... SOMETHING ABOUT OUTSIDEEEEE LAAAAA LAAAA LEEEEEE!"

Remus pulled the Charms door open, defeated.

"Ah yes. I knew you two would be here any moment. I could hear Miss Aigleigh's singing halfway down the corridor." Professor Flitwick gestured to our seats.

"Sorry Professor." Remus mumbled, glaring at me.

"And by the way, Miss Aigleigh. It's 'I think I'll _go__outside_for a while, not go with the tide." He winked and turned back to the blackboard.

I skipped to my seat, humming under my breath. Mary, my partner, looked at me incredulously. I grinned widely. I felt on top of the world! Sleep? Who needs it! NOT I! I felt great!

I managed to stay awake for 10 minutes of the lesson before drooping onto my desk and zoning out completely.

**I can't ever believe this. OVER 30 chapters? What the hell? This is like... me! I can't keep a plot line going! This is crazy! Wowowowow I can't believe it. I think I've said that already, but whateverrrrrrr. Hope you guys liked this ;)**

**PhoenixPatronus: Thanks for all the amazing compliments They really make me smiiiiiiile!**

**disler: Do not panic! I won't take a month haha! It's just that this month will be slower updates. Haha I'm so happy you like the story that much :D**

**Jaisler: I know right! School is actually totally insane! I only have on brain! I can't contain all that information on one go! Ahhhhh. But anywoo thanks for the review **

**Girl-with-no-name-x: Thanks so much! For the review and the laughs hehehe. She is right! I really really really don't like her :( I suppose not many people do... d**

**midnightsnitch: Maybe. Or maybe not. You shall seeeee as the story unfooooooldsssssss! :D Thanks for the review!**

**Ivori: Thanks a lot I'll go as fast as I can! I promise :D**

**Luli Cullen: Merci beaucoup (just to change it up a little) yeah, unless they're super super super skilled (which I am not lol) it doesn't really work. So yaay canon for moi And thanks I'm glad you like it!**

**RMH RMH: Nawwwww thankssssss That's so nice!**

**Night Hawk 97: Thanks! I thought it was actually the cutest thing ever when I realized for the first time so just HAD to put it in! **

**loverofbooks20: thank you! I'll try update super quick**

**Victorious Penguins: I read your story! It's so good! I really really really really like it! _Everyone__:__Victorious____Penguins____has____a____fanfic____called__ "__Victorious.__" __Her____O/C____Nike____is____so____amazing!____Read____it!___Thanks for the review too **

**Hellfire Putten Ninja: LOL that would be the funniest thing ever! Well.. not really cause my O/C would die... but whatever! Asdfl! Glad you approve :P and FRET NOT! Eat some chocolate and the world will be a happy place again B)**

**thebritishone: You are actually the most amazing reviewer! So to answer your question, no, she can still die. The thing is, she's only taking on phoenix characteristics. So after, let's say a few years, when it's time for an average phoenix to die, she'll do the ashes thing, but when it's time for HER to die, she'll actually die. It would be useful though haha. OMG! I just realized that! Phoenixes are actually like time lords! That's so cool! (And Dr. Who is my favourite tv show EVER EVER EVER!) I know, but Jaycee's a pretty neurotic person. She's so desperate not to screw up their friendship. Stupid Jaycee. Don't worry, all will be good in the end :D or will it... bum bum buuuuuuum. Of COURSE it's possible! I'll totally make it that! (And I'll definitely have to try those too, they sound yummmm as) I'm the same! I'll be telling mum about this dream I had and she'll be like, "uh... that happened like two weeks ago." AWKWARD lol. Wow what a long reply! Thanks so much for the review!**


	32. The Sister

Ch 32 The Sister _August_

Emily and I turned up on Lily's doorstep exactly one week before the beginning of 5th year. I had left a note for Dad, if he ever came back from the pub. It really made me sad, watching Emily around the house. She was worried about adult things like if the water was going to cut because dad didn't pay the bill, or how high prices were becoming in the grocery stores. She had only just turned ten. And I hated dad for this. For taking away her childhood. I really truly hated him. We all missed mum. I still cried myself to sleep some nights. But up-ing and just going was no way to deal with it. Drinking yourself to death was no way to deal with it.

On a lighter topic, I had been researched Animare Potio every spare second I had. But was getting nothing. The closest I had come to some real information was from a really old Potions book wedged between two shelves. It had claimed that Animare Potio was one from the Full-Lunar family. This meant, according to the book, that it needed to be brewed during the new moon. The beginning or end, depending how you looked at it, of the lunar cycle. I asked Rem about those, fully aware that he was an expert when it came to any aspect of the moon. He said Full-Lunar potions were often the most complex to make, closely followed by Mid-Lunar; Fulls took a few months at the least. They also had the most ingredients. I knew I needed to find this potion and fast if the guys were ever going to become Animagi.

"Jace!" Lily squealed as she opened the door and flung her arms around me, causing me to drop my bags on my foot. She had shot up during the holidays. She was almost as tall as James now!

"Hey Lils! Holy crap you're so tall!" She let go and smirked down at me. I rubbed my smarting foot.

"And you must be Emily. Jaycee's told me so much about you! You're ten now right?" Lily crouched down to Emily's height, smiling sweetly.

Emily nodded, clearly a bit intimidated by this squealing, almost 6 foot giant. I held her hand and nudged her with my hip.

"Well come on in! Mum said you should stay in the guest room, but I said you guys could stay with me." She chattered away, leading us through her little two-story house. "Mum and Dad are in the kitchen. Tuney's out with Vermin."

"WHO?" I asked, aghast. Surely no one in their right mind would name their child _Vermin._ Emily giggled, amused by the name.

"Ohh, that's just what I call her fiancé, Vernon Dursley. I mean, Vernon? Honestly. It's such a booooring name. He works with _drills_." Lily whipped her fiery side fringe out of her eyes to give me a look. "_DRILLS_ Jaycee."

"That does sound pretty bad." I mumbled, wondering how anyone related to Lily Evans, life and soul of every party, could be marrying someone so drab.

A short, smiley woman with Lily's bright emerald eyes bustled out of the kitchen to see if we'd arrived. "Ah! Here they are, Daffy." She called back to the kitchen.

"Hello, Jaycee dear, I'm Allison Evans. Oh but no one calls me that. Ally for short. And Emily. Aren't you just adorable." She beamed at us. Lily's father joined us in the hall. I could definitely see where she got her height from. He was at least 6' 3".

"Jaycee, Emily! Welcome to the Evans' home." He laughed. "I'm Donald. My wife thinks I'm not manly enough so she calls me Daffy Duck. Or sometimes just Daffy."

Ally whacked her husband round the back of the head. "Are you girls hungry? I'm sure you had a long journey. The centre of London to Cokeworth! Quite a schlep, I'm afraid."

"Yeah, food sounds great. Thanks so much!" I grinned. "Em, you hungry?" She nodded vigorously.

Lily grabbed our hands and pulled us into her little kitchen, where things were bubbling over on the stove and steam was puffing out of the oven. It was warm, due to the steam, but the atmosphere breathed love. The sink was piled up with dirty dishes, there were spills all over the countertop as well as abandoned bowls of unidentifiable substances. Tatty recipe books littered every surface, stained and covered in ink where corrections had been made. I couldn't help but look at the fridge where Lily and her sister's lives had been documented in primary school awards, drawings and tests, and more recent achievements including photographs of the family. Someone, no guesses who, had spelled "Lily is cool" in magnet letters. I smiled seeing this. Their house was... there was no other word for it, a home.

"Sorry about the mess. Mum's a bit of an ...experimental cook." Lily collapsed into one of the mismatched wooden chairs surrounding a glass table piled with cook books. On top of the pile, a watering can with daisies sticking out the spout precariously rested.

"No it's great! I love it." I breathed, looking around. It was so different from our untouched, cold, sterile kitchen. Emily seemed awed too.

"I'll just finish up the macaroni." Ally said, stirring the boiled over pot. Emily watched her carefully. She had been practising, herself, and had fallen in love with cooking.

"Jaycee?" She hissed in my ear. "Will you ask her if I can help?" She gave me a pleading look. I rolled my eyes and chuckled.

"Ally?" I asked. She turned and smiled at me, still stirring the pot.

"Yes, love."

"Emily loves cooking too. She was wondering if she could help." I pushed her forwards. She blushed a little.

"Of course! Come here, dear. You can finish the cheese sauce if you want. I've got a recipe here, but there are some-" Ally nattered to Emily, who looked extremely excited at the prospect of cooking with this loud, confident woman.

"Your sister is so cute!" Lily sighed, watching Emily stand on her tiptoes to reach the stove.

"I know, she's amazing." I said softly.

"I wish my sister loved me as much as yours does..." Lily looked into her lap sadly. I put my arms around her.

"But we do." I whispered comfortingly, referring to Alice, Mary and I. She smiled and hugged me tightly.

The kitchen door slammed shut. I jumped and spun around to find the source of the noise. Lily put her head on the table and groaned softly.

"Hm," said the fat, short, neckless man standing at the door with a huge blond moustache, "I would've expected you could've, at the very least, cleaned up a bit for your own daughter's fiancé."

The tall, thin, woman with enough neck to make up for her fiancé's lack of one, giggled nervously. "I know, Vernie. But," she lowered her voice, "I did warn you about them."

Ally took absolutely no notice of the insult and flung her arms around her eldest daughter, who shrugged her off very quickly.

"Daffy," she said, unfazed, "say hello to Petunia and Vernon! Dear, we haven't seen you in so long! Where have you been all summer?"

I heard Donald grunt from an overstuffed armchair in the corner. He didn't look up from his newspaper.

"We've been preparing for the wedding, mother. Also, I didn't want Vernie to have to face... her... until absolutely necessary." Petunia said in her uptight, posh voice. It sounded a bit put on to me. Vernon snorted, giving Lily and I the once over. Emily took the cheese sauce off the stove to join us at the table. She glared at him. I could tell she had already taken to Lily. Almost as quickly as she had taken to Sirius.

Ah, Sirius. Merlin things were awkward between us. I could tell he was making an effort to salvage what was left of our friendship. I was trying too. But I had wanted to rip his head off when I found out that the day after we'd kissed he dropped Saskia and had been found snogging Chelsea Fishall in the third floor corridor broom cupboard. I couldn't tell him this, of course, as that would mean admitting I _had_ actually felt something when we'd kissed. And I wouldn't do that. Especially as he'd already said he hadn't.

"Who are they?" She turned her nose up at Emily and me.

"This is Jaycee and this is Emily. Remember, I told you they'd be joining Lily at the wedding." Ally said, widening her eyes subtly, or so she though, at Petunia urging her not to make a scene.

"Fine." She huffed. "Vernie and I are only here to pick up my wedding sketches." She turned to Vernon, who was tapping his foot impatiently beside her. "I promise we will not be coming back here soon, sweetie."

"Good. Let's go." His eyes swept over us, disapprovingly, one last time before he followed Petunia out of the kitchen.

I looked at Lily and squeaked, "Whoa."

She nodded, "I know right."

Ally served the macaroni quietly and sat down next to Lily without speaking. Donald joined us and gave his wife a peck on the cheek.

"Mum?" Lily said softly.

"Mmmm?" Ally shut her eyes. I could see she was trying not to cry.

"It's ok, mum. We don't need them. You have me." She hugged her mum. "And Dad." She added as an afterthought.

"I know. I honestly don't know where we went wrong with her." Ally shook her head and shoved a forkful of macaroni in her mouth. "This is excellent sauce Emily."

Emily turned bright red and studied her fork animatedly. I laughed and ruffled my little sister's hair.

"Let's not be all doomy and gloomy." Donald said with a full mouth. "Smile Allygator." He pulled a face, which caused Ally to nearly choke on her food, trying to suppress a laugh.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Mum! Dad! We have guests!"

I looked at Emily, who was beaming. I smiled back. We didn't care. I knew this was the most fun Emily had had in a while.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V _4__days__later_

"So Emily." Lily smirked, holding something behind her back. "What would you say to..." She nudged me. Suddenly I remembered my cue and gave her a drum roll on her white bed post.

"A MAKEOVER!" Lily tossed her massive box of makeup and hair products onto the lilac bed and grabbed Emily around her middle.

"Nononononoo put me dooown!" She shrieked.

"For the record, this was entirely Lily's idea!" I called to my sister, who looked somewhere between very excited and rather stressed.

"As if it was! You were the one who said how excited you were about fixing her hair!" Lily called over to me, swinging Emily around.

I grinned. This was true. Em had never let me fix her hair before. I was pretty excited as my hair was too short to do anything to.

Emily, finally having agreed to a makeover, sat on the bed, swinging her legs back and forth. Lily and I were collecting everything in the room we could find that could be used to enhance one's beauty.

"Oh my Merlin! Is this what I think it is!" I screamed, grabbing a box from under Lily's bed.

"Oh that? That's so old. My auntie bought it for me ages ago when I was going through a hairdressing stage." Lily looked surprised that the box was still there.

"Um have you ever grown out of that stage?" I pulled at my side fringe that had FINALLY grown in properly. After the successful first cut Lily had given me, she had been injected with confidence. This led to another... more disastrous... attempt. Lily had convinced me that I needed a side fringe too. Instead of going to a proper hairdresser's, she assured me she could do it in a snap. I let her. This proved to be an awful idea, in hindsight. 6 months later and after a little manipulation, the fringe was the length I had wanted originally.

"Oh shut up. It's not my fault Mary chose THEN to crash through the bathroom door." She brushed this off and dragged some nail polish from inside the vanity drawer by her window.

"We have to do this." I said, still looking at the box.

"What is it?" Emily craned her neck from the bed, where we had ordered she stay.

"Hair dye. Purple, pink and blue bottles." Lily lifted Emily off the bed and put her on the soft white carpet. "We should each dye a streak or something. Different colours!"

"DIBS BLUE!" I yelled, quickly opening the box and clutching the blue to my chest.

"NO! I'm a REDHEAD! That's the only colour I'd look good with!" Lily complained, tossing me the purple. I scowled and reluctantly chucked the blue to her.

"We're going to look so out of place at the wedding tomorrow." Emily giggled, fingering the pink bottle.

"Why do you think we're doing it tonight?" Lily winked.

"Uh... cause I just found the boxes?" I raised an eyebrow. Lily shoved me and told me to stop ruining the funny things she says. I told her she's rarely very funny. This, of course, led to a bit of a wrestle on the floor.

"STOP IT AND DYE MY HAIR!" Emily pulled me backwards, still giggling.

We grabbed the bottles and tipped the three pairs of gloves out from inside the box.

"To the bathroom!" Lily said and raced through the door, Emily and I hot on her tail.

Emily sat next to the sink, holding the pink bottle. I unfolded the instructions.

"Step 1." I read, pulling the gloves on. "Wet the part of hair the dye is intended for."

Lily turned on the tap and cupped some water in her hands, using it to wet a streak of Emily, her and my hair.

"Step 2: Using gloves spread the dye evenly."

We opened the three bottles and tipped some onto our hands.

"Oh shit!" Lily called jumping backwards. I looked at her top. It was now white with a massive blue splotch on the left side of her chest. Emily grinned wickedly and slapped her hand across Lily's stomach, leaving a little, pink handprint. I collapsed into laughter at the sight of her face and rubbed my hands together. Emily hopped down from the counter and we cornered Lily, who was looking a bit like a deer in the headlights.

"Attack!" Emily called.

When we were finished, all three of us had clothes covered in pink, purple and blue. As well as a neat streak of dye in our selected colour through our hair. I must say, my shirt took the cake, with two purple handprints across my chest. Lily looked at my shirt and keeled over with laughter. I proudly strutted around the bathroom, showing off my rather risqué shirt.

"Oh, Sirius is going to just love that." She snickered. "He'll probably interrogate every boy in the school to find who it was."

I stopped strutting at the mention of Sirius. "What's he got to do with this?" I asked quickly.

"Of for Merlin's sake, Jaycee." She shook her head. "You're so bloody blind. Come on, what's the next direction?"

"No! Tell me what you mean!" I whined, pulling her shirt. "Lily Lily Lily! Tellll meeeee! Emily!" I turned to my last loyal alliance, who pointedly shut her mouth and shook her head.

"You can figure it out yourself. I just hope it doesn't take too long. I'd like to see you two together soon." Lily smirked.

"WHAT? Lil!"

"Step 3: Leave in for 10 minutes... oh well we've done that already. Step 4: Rinse excess colour our and let dry." Lily ignored me and read the rest of the instructions. "Ok Em, head over the sink."

What had they meant by that? Surely Lily hadn't meant together as in... together. Gee... I sure wouldn't mind seeing that too.

"Jace, your turn." Lily tossed Emily a towel from the cupboard under the sink to dry her hair on. I bent my head over and watched the purple swirl down the drain. I knew I was being pathetic about the whole Sirius thing. I mean, the boy was one of my best friends. We'd been friends for two years now. Why was I so hopeless?

"Girls?" Lily's mum called up the stairs. "The wedding's tomorrow! You should get ready for bed. We need to be at the church at 10am!"

"Kaaayyyyy! Night mum!" Lily called, wiping the floor with another towel. The dye, luckily, was coming off pretty easily. Emily and I helped her finish cleaning the bathroom, yelled down a 'Night' to Lily's parents and returned to her bedroom.

"Aww. We didn't get to finish Em's makeover." Lily said, looking at the makeover kit sadly.

"Another night." I said, sweeping it under the bed. Lily nodded pulled the two spare mattresses from where they were propped up against the wall to next to her door. We grabbed some pillows and blankets.

Soon we were all in bed, Emily already fast asleep. I was a bit worried about her sleeping with wet hair, but I guess there was nothing much I could do about it now.

I was right on the edges of sleep, but a question was still haunting my mind.

"Lily?" I whispered.

"MmHmmm?" She murmured.

"What did you mean by that about Sirius?"

I heard her turn on her side and a little giggle escape her lips.

"I know you like him Jace. You'd have to be an idiot to miss it."

"Do not!" I said indignantly, remembering one night during the Christmas holidays when I had told her the exact same thing. That was night I had first realized that maybe I wasn't quite telling the truth anymore...

"Don't worry... he likes...you... too." She said, yawning.

I didn't reply. If only. I supposed Lily had inhaled too much dye.

**Hi everyone! Wow it feels so great to be posting again! I've got exams all this week, but then they're OVER FOR A WHOLE HALF YEAR! YAAAAAY! So yeah... this week will be slow still, then hopefully it'll be normal again... hopefully. I'm so SO happy about all the reviews I got for the last chapter! WOW more than I've ever gotten! Thanks all! I do love you very much. So just warning, this may be a long A/N.**

**Ivori: Hehehehe I have a feeling he did too ;) thanks for the review, it was so nice :D**

**Jaisler: Thanks I'll try my best**

**RMH RMH: Yes! I've been waiting as impatiently as you as well! And it has finally happened! Haha**

**Pupluver43: Thanks very much **

**Luli Cullen: Thank you! Oui! Et toi? C'est très incroyable ! Mais pour moi, un petit peu. I knowwww me too. But you know, what must happen must happen for the plot line to work. Thanks again **

**Victorious Penguins: No problem at all! I loved reading it! I'm soo sooooo glad you're not giving it up :D :D And thanks so much for the really nice review**

**Solar571: Lol I know right. Grrrr... thanks for reviewing!**

**ChoppedAndScrewed: haha thanks! I'm so glad I made you laugh **

**sonofafluffymuffin: Wait! What? He's not real! D': haha jks but thanks for the review **

**Hellfire Putten Ninja: omg you've really made me want chocolate DX arghhhh must eat chocolate... but anyway, thank you! :D *love heart***

**thebritishone: My amazing golden toad-y reviewer never fails to disappoint! :D Thanks so much for all you said it made me so happy that I was able to get across what I intended! I KNOW RIGHT! I know I created Jaycee and all that, but God she's irritating! Haha that does sound like an intriguing conversation. I always did wonder about those. They're very awesome to wear, but they have HOLES in them! Surely they provide no protection against the cold? Thanks also for the SONG! You have great taste in music! Have you heard Welcome to the Black Parade? By my chemical romance? I loooove it! OMG that poem was *sniff* inspired. Again, thank you to my amazing reviewer! I hereby send you the mug with the lime green writing! **

**HorcruxesandHallows: I'm so relieved! It finally happened! Yay! Ahaha thanks for reviewing And I agree. Stupid Sirius. Oh well. These things must happen **

**Night Hawk 97: Thanks so much :D**

**LizziePixie-Aiko: Wow! I can't believe I managed to get that across to you! Thanks so much for the review. I really love those reviews that make me feel like a real writer. **

**Girl-With-No-Name-x: Don't panic! I would have done the same thing *sigh* Thanks a ton **

**LittleMissDreamer7: OMG I've already read your review like three times and now, reading it again to reply, has made me smile so wide I look like a creepy jack-o-lantern! :D Thanks soooooooo sooooo much!**

**Rachel: Voila! :D Hope you like it **

**ellabellabee: Wow that's really nice! I'm so happy you don't think it's boring, I was really afraid it was getting like that. Merci merci merci beaucoup pour le review! XD XD**

**Annerizu-san: THANK YOU ! :D haha it's Jaycee, but don't worry. I know it's a weird spelling. I only did it like that because in Greek Jaycee means light. I really love all that name meanings stuff **

**WolfandCo: I'm honoured you chose my story to read! And I'm ecstatic that you like it! :D They're very frustrating aren't they... It frustrates me while writing too. Haha don't worry, I think we can all tell where this story is going... or can we? ;) Thanks so much, that really means a lot to me **


	33. The Article

Ch 33 The Article _End __of __August_

"GET UP! GET UP!"

I groaned and rolled over, awoken by a loud, unpleasant rapping on the door and the lovely voice of soon-to-be Petunia Dursley.

"MOVE IT! We only have FOUR HOURS until the wedding!" She screeched through the door.

Emily covered her little head with her pillow. Lily lay still, unperturbed by the noise. How did she do it!

"Petunia, dear. Calm down. Take a shower and relax. I'll wake the girls."

I heard Ally's slightly kinder voice, muffled behind the thick door. Petunia huffed and stomped towards the bathroom. The door opened, brushing against the thick carpet.

"Lily?" Ally poked her still sleeping daughter and shook her head playfully at Emily and me when Lily merely grunted and turned on her side.

"This is what we do at school." I stood up and stretched before tiptoeing to Lily's bed. I reached for the duvet slowly before, fast as lighting, ripping it off.

"JAYCEE FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN!" Lily yelled, sitting up immediately. Emily was in peals of laughter at Lily's angry face and dishevelled hair.

"Your dye looks good." I tugged the strand of blue in her head of flames. Ally opened her mouth, noticing our new look, to reprimand us, but after some thought shut it and smiled knowingly. Lily didn't see her mother's reaction, but shook her tangled tresses out of her eyes and pulled the blankets back up to her chin.

"Ditto, my friend. But now, I'm going back to sleep." She lay down and promptly shut her eyes.

"Oh no you're not, young lady. You're getting out of bed this instant or you'll never be ready in time for your sister's wedding." Ally fought over the duvet with Lily, the latter losing rather splendidly.

As they tugged, Ally told Emily and me to pop down for breakfast with 'Daffy' and that Lily'd be down in a moment. The last part was directed towards Lily in a rather threatening manner. I let Emily hop onto my back as we skedaddled quickly from the increasingly violent scene.

"Wow Jace, your hair looks so cool!" Emily twirled the strand of purple on the right side of my head, poking out from under my top layer.

"Thanks Em." I turned my head to poke her cheek with my nose. "Yours looks fabbity fabulous too!"

Emily had opted for a dip dye. It looked so cute in her ever lengthening hair.

"Morning girls. Nice hair." Donald stuck his head out from behind 'The Herald.'

"Morning, Mr. Evans." Emily smiled.

"What for breakfast? Has Petunia had anything yet? Merlin, she must be nervous." I chatted amiably. Emily put down some toast for the two of us while I sat to talk with Mr. Evans. Suddenly a massive, tawny owl swooped into the room.

"What in the name of God?" Mr. Evans leapt at the sudden appearance. He batted the large owl with his newspaper, evidently terrified. It amused me to see such a tall man cower in fear of an owl.

"Ah Daffy." Ally walked in, towing a very unhappy Lily behind her. Lily slouched in the chair next to mine while Ally turned towards me. "He's terrified of birds. It's really hilarious, actually." She ruffled her husband's hair and relieved the owl of its letter. Donald emphasized his irritation at all these women who were showing him up, by loudly turning the page of his paper and facing his chair away. Lily and I exchanged smirks while Emily laughed out loud.

"That's strange, we got the booklist weeks ago." Ally muttered, tearing open the envelope.

I saw her face pale as she skimmed over it.

"Jaycee?" She whispered, shakily passing me the letter, "I don't understand half of this, but I think... I think it's something you need to read."

Awful thoughts flooded my mind as I took the letter from Ally's shaking hands. I held it to my chest, wild eyes, not wanting to receive the news, which was obviously very bad. Building up some courage I read the first sentence. It was in Dumbledore's writing.

_Dear Jaycee, _

_I wanted to get this news to you before this morning's Prophet is released. Unfortunately, I fear I am too late. _

_This morning I was informed by Millicent Bagnold, Minister of Magic that there had been a leak to the Prophet late last night from an anonymous source. I'm very afraid... that this is it for your secret, Jaycee. This morning the world will know what you are. I apparated to the Ministry as soon as I heard, pleading the editor not to release the article. I sincerely have done everything in my power to stop it from being printed. But to no avail. Hopefully, I was able to ensure you are to remain at Hogwarts as, obviously, the Minister is very afraid of your potential. I apologize profusely. I have only theories to how this information was received by the Ministry, but no solid evidence as of yet. You need to return to the school as soon as possible, for your own safety. Half the wizarding world will be after you once this news is released. _

_This is very dreadful, of course. But Jaycee, I know you suspected that "someone" may or may not have already known. Given this someone's family history, we can be almost confident that Voldemort has, indeed, known of this secret for a long time now. am of the opinion that you have been under surveillance for a while now. Again, I am desperately sorry for not pre-empting this. I know you may be angry with me, and quite rightly so. But please take heed of this warning Jaycee. There is a great chance that everything you say and do is being closely watched. Voldemort wants you on his side and will do anything to get you there. _

_You need to return to school immediately. Do not bother collecting your books and other equipment from Diagon Alley, that would be most dangerous. I will have an order sent out upon your return. I am so sorry Jaycee, but this is of the utmost importance. We have much to discuss. I will meet you at the top of the Evan's street in half an hour. _

_Professor Dumbledore,_

_Order of Merlin, First Class_

_Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot_

I felt my heart stop and my stomach drop to my feet. This could not be happening. This must be a horrible dream. I read the letter again. And once more after that.

"No." I breathed, reading it for the third time. Lily sat, quivering, internally debating whether to ask me what I had just discovered.

"Jaycee, what's going on?" Emily asked, pulling the letter from my slowly numbing hands. As she read it too, her expression melted to utter terror. She, Remus and Sirius were the only three people in the world, apart from Dumbledore, who knew what this was going to mean for me.

"I- I have to go." I said, standing up. I tried to swallow my emotions for the sake of Lily and her parents, knowing that if I told them it would ruin Petunia's wedding. "I'm s-so sorry, Ally. I- I have to leave."

"No, I understand." She said, taking my hand. "Well, I don't completely. But I can see it's essential you leave immediately for Hogwarts."

I nodded, glancing at Lily who looked a mixture of fearful and severely disappointed.

"What's going on? Mum? Jaycee?" She asked tentatively. Donald and Ally were exchanging worried looks.

"Why don't you go and help Jaycee and Emily pack their things. Petunia's wedding is in three hours, and despite this awful news, I cannot deny her today." She nodded in the direction of the stairs. Lily followed Emily and me up.

"Please tell me what's going on Jace." She begged, tossing things into my suitcase.

"Emily, give her the letter." I mumbled.

Her eyes whizzed through it, expression changing from fear to confusion.

"But what does it MEAN?" She asked again, frustrated. I sat on my case and fervently tried to zip it up, avoiding the answer. "Jaycee Aigleigh, if you don't tell me right now I'm going to Sev's house to read his Prohpet."

"Ok OK!" I cried, giving up on both the suitcase and my calm exterior. "I'm a Vigorater! Voldemort's watching me! The whole wizarding world, including all the students at Hogwarts, are finding out my secret right now and EVERYONE IS GOING TO HATE ME! HAPPY?" I yelled, tears threatening to fall.

Lily looked shocked, staring from the letter to me. She took a few impulsive steps back. It was this initial reaction that caused me to completely break down with despair.

"YOU SEE?" I sobbed. "Everyone's going to hate me! I don't even know if I'm allowed back into Hogwarts, my only home. Even you hate me. One of my best friends" Emily glared at Lily and put her arms protectively around me, trying to staunch my desperation.

"No Jaycee! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to." She stumbled towards me. "It was just a shock. I love you so much. I could never hate you, no matter what you were. Please believe me." She begged, crying now too.

"But d-don't you see?" I sniffed. "That's e-everyone's first reaction. I-It's not your fault. B-but th-that's how everyone's going to think f-f-first."

Lily sat on my other side and also wrapped her arms around my shoulders, tears dripping into my lap, . "I'm s-s-so sorry, Jaycee. I didn't mean it. I truly didn't. I'm not frightened of you at all. I'm... I'm terrified _for_ you."

"Who told?" I moaned. "Who could've possibly known? I only told Remus and Sirius. No one else knew."

Lily slackened her hold and looked at me hard. "Wait... you told Sirius before you told any of us girls?" She asked incredulously. "I get Remus, but... Sirius? Do you trust him more than Mary, Alice and I?"

"NO Lily!" What the hell? I was most probably being watched by the darkest wizard in our history, the entirety of the wizarding world was scared of the thought of me, and she was worried that I had told Sirius before her!

"You don't understand. It's a long story and honestly," I snapped, "I don't really have much time to tell it! You know, with Voldemort being after me and everything." I shook her off me and pulled Emily to her feet.

Lily looked at me again, a little fear in her eyes. I could tell she didn't mean to offend me and was just hurt, but I was in no mood for jealous friends or long, emotional stories right now. In fact, I was scared out of my wits. And I was scared for Emily too. The fear in Lily's eyes cut right through my heart. Despite her pleas, she was afraid of me.

V V V V V V V V V V V

After I had packed, I borrowed the school's owl to send a quick letter to Remus, explaining what was going on. I said my thank yous to Ally and Donald and apologized for having to leave in such a rush and said goodbye. Lily didn't come to see me off. I didn't know what I was going to do. Without my friends, was there any point in returning at all?

Emily would, unfortunately, now be going home a few days early. I hated that. I'd been telling her she couldn't stay at home... alone... for what seemed like forever. But apparently, 'she could handle it.' Sometimes I really don't understand her. I _wanted_ her to stay at Hogwarts, where I knew she'd be safe, but it would never be allowed. I'd accepted that fact when she turned 7 and showed no signs of magical powers. She wouldn't be coming now, especially. It would be _more_ dangerous for her to come with me than to stay with Dad. But... where else _could_ she go. It seemed hopeless sometimes.

I wiped my eyes and lugged my bags to the top of the street where I could see Dumbledore patiently waiting. He was reading "The Daily Prophet" with a look of utter defeat on his face. I'd never seen Dumbledore look so vulnerable before.

"Hi, sir. Thanks for the letter and coming to meet me and everything..." I said, trying to be brave.

"Not here, Jaycee. Hold my arm. Are you familiar with Side-Along Apparation?" He held out his arm, clearing his face of emotion.

I shook my head, no, taking his arm

"Well, it can be quite a shock to the system the first time." He smiled. "Hold onto your bags."

At once I felt like I had been sucked through a narrow tube. My lungs constricted in my chest and my eyeballs flew backwards into my head. I gripped the handles of my bags so hard I could no longer feel my fingers. When I honestly couldn't take the sensation anymore... it stopped.

I found myself in Dumbledore's office, completely breathless.

"Holy crap." I gasped.

"I'll pretend you didn't say that." I saw his quick wink as he recovered immediately from Apparating and sat down at his desk. "I have here the Daily Prophet for today. I think you should read the article, Jaycee."

I shakily stood up, partly from Apparating and partly from nerves, and approached his desk. He held out the paper for me and conjured a chair. I sat down and looked at the front page. My scowling face was huge, right across the page. I was sitting, hunched over at the Gryffindor table, glaring into my pumpkin juice. Someone had taken this photo from inside the school grounds.

_DUMBLEDORE COMPROMISES THE SAFTEY OF THE WIZARDS AND WITCHES AT HOGWARTS WITH A DANGEROUS HALF-BREED_

_A Vigorater by the name of Jaycee Aigleigh has been found to be impersonating a muggle born student at Hogwarts' School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster, has kept this secret quiet for four years now. Called barmy by most of the wizarding population for some of his decisions regarding the school, it is quite clear that the old man has finally pushed it too far. For those readers who do not know, Vigoraters are fatally dangerous half-breeds with the power to drain the soul of another simply by touching them with a golden light produced in their bodies. They are easily transformed into weapons by dark wizards, the most famous case being Dark Ness, formerly Clove Bainfield in the First wizarding war of the 1940s and 50s. Many are unaware that Dark Ness attended school with Grindewald, the second darkest wizard in history, only upstaged by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Grindewald turned the Vigorater into a brain killing weapon of destruction. Dark Ness was feared by most of the Eastern European population, even more than Grindewald himself in some cases. There have been less well known cases scattered throughout history. With He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named rising, is it really safe to allow such a creature to share this planet with us? Whilst under the watchful eye of the ministry, by means of the Trace, the creature is safe from us, but soon enough it will be free to join His side and wreak havoc on our world. A Ministry official stated, "Vigoraters are highly temperamental and dangerous. If you ever come into contact with one, remain calm and alert authorities immediately." If you want to see this volatile creature locked up, please owl Sue Parks, editor of the Daily Prophet to add your name to the petition. _

By the time I'd completed the article, I was close to tears again. The creature? It? Even though I wasn't completely human, I still had human feelings! I could still think and act and speak like a witch. For Merlin's sake, to me, I _was_ a witch, despite what the Ministry thought.

"Locked up?" I finally managed to choke out, looking up to Dumbledore fearfully.

"They have no power over that. You have committed no crime; therefore, due to our democratic state, they cannot send you to Azkaban. Don't fret. That is one thing they cannot do." He said simply, taking the paper back.

I covered my face with my hands and lay my head on his desk. "What am I going to do? No one will want someone like me here!" I wailed. Dumbledore patted my hair comfortingly.

"It's alright Jaycee. You will always have a place at Hogwarts if I have any say in the matter."

"Thank you, sir." I mumbled. Keeping me here after this scandal? It was more than I could ever ask. I would be forever in this man's debt. He smiled his famous smile and told me not to worry at all.

"I'm sure you would like to be alone for a while, but I do need to discuss Mr. Malfoy with you."

I sat up straighter, and brushed the tears from my eyes.

"I have a theory, Jaycee. Only a theory, and if I am correct I'm afraid we will have to make our meetings a lot more private. Though this will now prove very difficult as I am sure most of the school will be watching your every move, as well as the Ministry." He bowed his head.

I opened my mouth to ask what this theory was, but was cut off by a small, plump wizard with a large pink nose who appeared suddenly in the fireplace with a puff of green smoke.

"Ulvier Dothbred, representative of the Ministry for Magic." He announced stepping out. Another witch appeared. She was on the chubby side, looked no older than 25, clad in all pink with a ginormous bow in her shoulder length, curled brown hair.

"Dolores Umbridge." She said in a flouncy voice. "Assistant undersecretary to the Minister."

"My associate and I are here to discuss with you, Albus Dumbledore, your affiliation with the Vigorater..." Dothbred paused and looked at me, eyes popping. Dolores shrieked and took a few steps back upon noticing me, herself.

"I-it's here?" He said breathlessly, not meeting my eye.

"Yes, Ulvier. I deemed it safer for Jaycee to be at school with me and some of the other teachers, than to be wandering the streets of London where Death Eaters are lurking." Dumbledore spoke calmly.

"B-but s-sir. Think of the normal students! We cannot tolerate a filthy half-breed." Umbridge said, disgusted at my very presence.

"I think, Dolores, you will find that in my school, I choose what 'filth' I allow through the threshold. And with that, I must ask you to leave. Jaycee and I are in discussion." He raised an eyebrow, but other than that remained utterly serene.

"I'm afraid we cannot do that." Dothbred boldly stepped forward. He addressed me as forcefully as he dared, "Vigorater! Leave now. Dumbledore will call you back when he wishes to speak with you."

I narrowed my eyes, refusing to be spoken to like that. I was about to tell him so, when Dumbledore gave me a look and said softly, "Jaycee, may I ask you to please step outside for just a moment. It won't be long. I have a feeling this little talk would be rather inappropriate for you. I apologize."

I nodded and quickly left, glaring at the two Ministry officials.

From outside, all I could hear was muffled voices. I tried to place each voice to the speakers. Umbridge was easy. A breathy, girly giggle followed by a severe rising in pitch. Then Dothbred's loud, brash tone. I could barely hear the calm, softly-spoken Dumbledore at all.

At last, I was asked to come back in. Both officials had left. And Dumbledore was pacing, looking worried.

"What's wrong, sir?" I asked.

"Ah, Jaycee. The Ministry does not wish for you to remain here. I told them that the school was not under their control, but they replied by saying that they did have the authority to close it down, if they wished. After much arguing they agreed to give you a week in which they would watch your conduct and then decide for themselves whether or not you may stay here."

My heart sank. So I might not be allowed to stay after all? Where would I go? What would I do? I supposed I'd have to return home. How could I do that after experiencing all this? And leave my friends behind? Remus and Mary? Leave Sirius? Just forget that I could perform magic? I couldn't ever do that.

I gritted my teeth and knew that for the first week of term, I'd have to do absolutely everything right. No secret Anigmagi training sessions. No searching for Potio Animare. If I wanted to remain at Hogwarts, I couldn't slip up once.

_One week later_

"That's her. That's the Vigorater. Careful, she'll zap you!"

The two second years' loud whispers were more than well within my hearing range. But I ignored them. As usual. Ever since school had come back, I'd been subject to all sorts of this sort of thing. Pointed whispers. Scared looks. Students scuttling out of my way. Even some of the teachers seemed on edge around me. And I was bloody sick of it! I had done nothing wrong. Nothing at all! Even Lily was ignoring me completely. Alice, upon finding out, like Lily, had abandoned me. I knew I wasn't really being fair and that they were only hurt I hadn't trusted them. But, seriously, at the moment, it almost felt good to be angry at someone.

I continued to DADA, biting my tongue. I was not going to let ignorant school students mess this week up for me. So far so good, according to Dumbledore. While they didn't love me to bits, I had done nothing that was going to get me kicked out or sent to Azkaban. That Umbridge was a nasty piece of work though. She carried a clipboard around, for the love of Merlin. And she'd _question_ my classmates and teachers. 'How are Aigleigh's grades?' 'Has she ever lost her temper before in your class?' 'Is Aigleigh an agreeable classmate?' 'Don't be afraid to answer truthfully, dear.' Gahhhh. The other guy, Dothbred wasn't as bad. I mean, he was too afraid to come within 5 metres of me, but at least he didn't carry around a CLIPBOARD.

I hurried past a small pack of younger students, all of whom inched away in the opposite direction. No matter, I would push onwards! And not be late to my first Defence class this year. That wouldn't be the best start. Maybe it was a bad idea taking the longer route to class, but I didn't want to have to face the hordes of gossiping students all rushing to their next class. Pathetic? Maybe.

"Ah, a straggler." I was greeted as I pushed through the door with a knowing smile from our new DADA professor. She was thin, wearing patchy robes and looked really young. Her grin was warm and reached her friendly eyes. It was a welcome change from the glares and grimaces I had been receiving as of late.

"Sorry I'm late Professor... uhh..."

"Larson. Don't worry, hun. It happens to the best of us. By the way, nice hair."

I could feel myself blushing a little and scurried to my seat next to Remus quickly; avoiding eye-contact with Dothbred, whom I was sure wasn't pleased. Why was this new teacher not utterly terrified of me? Did she not read the Prophet? That was a mad idea... everyone reads the Prophet.

"Now class, as I was saying, it seems you're very ahead for only a fifth year class! You've covered all OWL magical creatures as well as basic spellwork. There are a few more tricks we need to learn before launching into some crazy revision for the big exams." She continued smiling as she spoke, the entire class enthralled. It was incredible. This brand new, young professor had managed to captivate the entire class in the first five minutes of the lesson.

"Hm... you haven't seemed to have begun the Unforgivables yet. They're sure to at least make an appearance in your OWLS. We'll start with them. Everyone know the curses and what they do?"

We nodded.

"Right, excellent! Less work for us," she winked. I glanced over at James and Sirius. The only way they could have been more obviously infatuated with the new professor was if they had been drooling. I rolled my eyes at Remus, who was pretty enraptured himself. Honestly, boys are pathetic sometimes.

"Professor," Dothbred began, clearing his throat a little. She raised an eyebrow and looked surprised that he had dared to interrupt her lesson. "Are you sure that's a ministry approved topic for fifth years? You aren't meant to be beginning Unforgivables until sixth year."

"Excuse me, Mr... what was your name again? No matter, if I remember correctly, I'm the professor of this class and it's up to Dumbledore what is taught here. If I could ask you to be so kind as to not interrupt my class in future. We have very important exams to prepare for." She spun around, giving him no time to reply and wrote, in big letters, on the board 'The Unforgivable Curses.' I almost wanted to applaud. The rest of the class seemed to feel the same way.

Dothbred's eyes bugged out slightly, but he made no reply. He appeared to be entirely lost for words. I liked this young teacher, who could put old ministry gits in their place and control a class with both James and Sirius in it by doing nothing more than smiling.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V

"Jaycee!"

I was headed up to the dorms. Halfway through dinner I'd decided I was sick of all the less than subtle stares I was getting. I turned around and saw Sirius hurrying to catch up with me.

"Yeeees?" I asked cautiously. We'd barely spoken all week, except polite conversation when we were both with our friends.

He titled his head to the side and seemed to be battling with something. I sighed and tapped my foot. People were going to be pouring out of the hall soon and I sure as hell didn't want to be here when they did.

"Sirius, do you- I mean- are you going-" I searched for the words, finally coming up with, "What do you want? I really don't want to hang around here too long."

"I'm sorry. I just... wanted to talk to you... I miss you." He said softly, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

The simple, almost childlike, way he spoke melted my heart completely. I missed him too. I missed the way it used to be before everything got all complicated. I stepped forward, wanting to squeeze his hand or hug him or _something_, but my own insecurity stopped me. It was just awkward. And that made me want to cry.

"Sirius I..." I looked up into his eyes. My breath caught in my throat and my heart pounded. Suddenly the doors of the Great Hall opened and streams of students rushed out, all heading in different directions.

"I have to go!" I whipped around and raced away.

"No stop!" He grabbed my hand and pulled me back. Butterflies fluttered around in my stomach. Before he could say anything more Lucius Malfoy appeared beside us.

"Why if it isn't the Vigorater. Long time no see. And the blood traitor too. What a pleasant surprise." He smirked. Nott and Avery guffawed beside him.

"Nice to see you too, Death Eater." I spat back.

"That's not a very nice thing to say, isn't it, half-breed. I think you should apologize." He said, narrowing his eyes.

"Well, _I_ think," Sirius said forcefully, wedging himself between Malfoy and me, "that you should bloody fuck off and mind your own business Malfoy."

"Nicely put, Sirius." I glared at Malfoy and his sidekicks, ignoring the swearing for the moment.

"Why thank you, Goldy." He put his arm around me.

"Why don't you make me, blood traitor?" He pulled his wand from inside his robe and pointed it threateningly at us. Nott and Avery bumbled around searching for their wands too.

"Happily!" Sirius beamed, jovially jabbing his wand into Malfoy's chest.

"Oi! Guys, what's going on here?" Professor Larson jogged towards us. "I don't really want to give a detention in the first week."

Malfoy and co stashed their wands. "We were just leaving." Malfoy mumbled and skulked away, Nott and Avery following. Professor Larson looked at them suspiciously.

"Sorry Professor," Sirius said, arm still around my shoulders, "they were just being a bit rude to Jace." I bit my lip to hide my smile. He'd stood up for me. Oh Merlin, why did he have to be so goddamn amazing?

"That's nice of you to protect your friend," she smiled, "but you guys fifth years right? You could probably do a lot of damage to eachother, ok."

"Thanks professor. It won't happen again." I said apologetically. Sirius scoffed under his breath, but immediately shut up when I elbowed him hard in the stomach.

She laughed and told us to go practice the Patronus spell, this week's revision. Little did Professor Larson know we were probably two of the most advanced students in the school when it came to Patronuses. Which reminded me...

"Sirius! I have to tell you something!" I suddenly announced, looking around for Umbridge or Dothbred. I lowered my voice. "It's about you ecomingbay an nimagus-ahay."

He stared at me for a moment and then said, "I'm sorry what?"

"You don't know pig Latin?" I asked, shocked. I thought everyone knew pig Latin these days. Clearly it was a muggle thing.

"I don't know any kind of Latin... but I do know French! Parles-tu un petit peu français ? Est-ce que tu te souviens notre baiser ? Parce que j'ai menti. Je pense que je t'aime beaucoup. J'espère que tu n'as compris rien. Je crains tu ne m'aimes pas retourner. Ou peut-être c'est mielleux si tu as compris parce que quand-" He yammered away.

"Ok let's actually just stick to English..." I cut him off, confused and slightly in awe at the fact he seemed bilingual. "Now shut up and listen to me."

I looked around the hall. Everyone was gone by now. Even if there were a few kids still milling around, I was the last 'person' they wanted to see. But still, I couldn't risk this being overheard.

"There's a potion." I whispered. "A potion that I didn't need. But you do. It's a lunar related potion. Remus knows about it too, so ask him. We have to wait until next week to find it and... everything else because of the _extra__stress_ we've had for the beginning of fifth year." I widened my eyes to try to telepathically let Sirius know that it was imperative he not mention it again. I would get into serious trouble.

"I'm sure _Professor__Slughorn_ will be ecstatic you've managed to help me out so much with _Potions__class_." He spoke loudly and not very subtly.

"You haven't quite mastered the art of concealment, have you?" I rolled my eyes.

"Oh shut up. Don't be a meanie." He poked my ribs.

"Eeeee! Stop that! You _know_ I'm ticklish!" I tried to wriggle away. Instead of letting go he pulled me into a hug.

"Let's stop this stupid we've got going at the moment, Goldy. Let's go back to being friends forever. I really did miss you this summer." He said quietly. And right then, I knew that we would be. Friends forever. Even if he could never like me back, we'd stay friends. Because this was a different feeling than anything I'd ever felt. It was a stronger bond than I had with anyone. Even my feelings for Remus, my very best friend, were miles apart from how much I cared about Sirius. I didn't quite understand it, but it was real. And that was the simple truth.

**WOW that was such a long wait. Sorry guys. Exams _are_ over, but we're not quite out of the tunnel yet. I have play rehearsals all next week. Hopefully updates will be coming faster now. Thanks, as always, for your continued support I love you guys! Oh, and sorry, I know some of you were looking forward to the wedding. This is pretty important to the story though so yeah. Sorry again. **

***This will be a long A/N... just warning**

**midnightsnitch: Thanks ssososo much Good luck to you ;) hehe. Thanks for your interest, this is going to be a trilogy. This story will end at the end of 6th year. The second will end after Voldemort's first downfall. I'm still deciding whether to end the third at the end of Harry's third year or fifth year, though. **

**Noelle D: Hahaha a lot of people have been saying that, so I think I'll add it in somewhere ;) lols. Thanks for the review **

**Unperfectbutlovingit: Thanks for reviewing! And here you go. Hope you like it**

**mykk47: I really would like to do that, but I hope I sort of managed to explain why it couldn't happen in this chapter. I don't know personally, but I think it would be really hard for abused kids to come out with the truth as there would be a lot of implications for them. Also, Emily has her school and life in London. It would be a challenge for her to move. Thanks for the review though **

**Ivori: Thanks! Omg you totally should! It's actually the most fun thing ever! **

**rhapsodieenbleu: AHHH! Hey dude! Thanks for reading! This is so cool, replying to you XD I actually have no idea what that means, but I dooooon't think it means what you wanted it to mean looool. I'M IN LOVE TOO 3 (that's a love heart, but sometimes they turn into threes. O.o) Hopefully (if you've been studying your French tehe) this chapter will provide some reassurance for you. Physique... what a funny word. Heheheheehehhehehehe physique physique. Lawl. I do the exact same thing! Well... minus the wrist slitting bits. Sweetie, I have the number of a lovely counsellor :P But I think I'm defs becoming toooo attached to Jaycee and Sirius. I must remember that they are not real. *twitch* Merci pour ton petit review (mais le vrai est que ce n'etait pas trop petit hehe c'était incroyable mais ! Je l'aimerais !) See youuu sooon hopefullyyyyy**

**Hellfire Putten Ninja : ahahaha you make me laugh so much! I'm glad I can do the same :D and that you liked the chapter. Thankeeeeeeee**

**sonofaflufflymuffin: Hey cool name person! :D Thanks for the review and don't fret, I shall be putting that in somewhere in the future ;)**

**PhoenixPatronus: Thanks for reviewing It's so cool hearing people say they can connect to my characters! It's like wow... *mind spasm*... wow haha**

**ellabellabee: Thanks for your super nice and long review! hahaha that made me laugh. I do the same when I get review emails! :D Don't worry, he will as loads of people have requested it tehehehe. I hope it will be as cute as you hope Sorrry about not putting the wedding in, but I hope you liked the alternative too. Thanks again for the amazing review. Xxoo**

**Luli Cullen: Yay it's always fun finding someone else who can speak a little French! Did you understand the French in this chapter? It's probs a bit grammatically incorrect, but oh well. I did try haha XD Thanks for reviewing!**

**Girl-with-no-name-x: Thanks so muuuuchhh I'm so glad you like it and the characters! **

**.Black: HAHAHAHAHA omg that was a good serious/Sirius pun! Mind if I use it sometime in the future? Thanks for your review! I really love getting them And please update your story soon too!**

**the-far-east-half-blood: Thanks for reviewing! I'm pretty interested in your pen name. Where'd you come up with it? It's cool! I'm so glad you did stumble apon it! (accidental or not dooodeeedooodeee haha) Hope you enjoy this update. Sorry they've been so slow.**

**Jaisler: Thanks a lot! And yes! Fifth year. I promise it will hold some interesting things. (Or I hope I can make them seem interesting)**

**HorcruxesandHallows: Thanks for the review! Let's hope it's coming soon. (Well... I know when... but yes... anyway heh heh ^_^) **

**thebritishone: Puketunia! That's hilarious! XD XD Don't worry, I got that it was you! :D Omg now I really want some cake... I think I'll go get some. But I'll upload this first lol. Aww I'm sad you have a cold. Hope it gets better soon. On the topic of music, you simply MUST look up If I Had a Gun and/or Dream On by Noel Gallagher. I found the artist I think. Jack Johnson? Omg I like this song! It's cooooolios as! Birthday cake? Does that mean it's your birthday? HAPPY BIRTHDAY IF IT IS! XD XD XD XD GGGGGGGGGG to you as well!**

**XxMixedXxLoverXx: I know. It would be nice, but hopefully I semi-explained it in this chapter. I also explained some more in mykk47's review answer. Pretty much it would be really hard for Emily to come clean and also moving somewhere would be uprooting her from her school and friends and life. Jaycee does want her to, but it wouldn't really be fair if she thinks she can handle it. Thanks for the review I'll update as fast as I can!**

**Siriusluver1: Omg I'm a Sirius lover (luver) too! Siriusluver too... Siriusluver2 because you're Siriusluver1... hehehehe oh I crack myself up sometimes XD Thanks for the nice review! I'm glad you liked it!**

**RMH RMH: Thanks for the review! And yes, (as you well know by now lol) the exams are OVER! XD XD**

**Night Hawk 97: Thanks for reviewing! I'm so happy you like it! And thanks for the message as well. Don't worry, I understand and am glad you haven't given up Hope your exams went well!**

**LizziePixie-Aiko: Thanks a ton haha yeah, I guess a lot of the world is like that but. I know I've met quite a few people like that... :/ Thanks again for reviewing! It really means a lot to me :D**

**Rusichan: Wow! I'm like ecstatic at the moment! I do that all the TIME with other people's fanfictions. I never believed someone would ever do that with MINE! Thanks so much for the review! You like My Chem toooo! XD How great are they! **

**Silver'ssong: Thank you! I'll go as fast as I can **

**Anon 1: Thanks very much :D I know, I wish I had more time to write, but at the moment life is kind of hectic. I'll finish it eventually. I promise.**

**SwagLikeErin: Thanks for the review and interest. I guess this chapter kind of answered your question, but anyway, hopefully it won't be more than a week now between updates. A week is just too long! I hate not updating, but as I said, it's pretty hard with all that's going on at the moment. **

**Anon 2: Wow thanks so much! That's really nice of you to say **


	34. The Archives

Ch 34 The Archives _September_

At the end of the week I was called into Dumbledore's office. I'd been up since four, tossing and turning. So nervous about what Dothbred and Umbridge would decide. I couldn't leave here. I think I'd wither away and die without Hogwarts. They couldn't make me go. I'd refuse to leave. Even though maybe it wasn't all as warm and friendly a place as it had been when Lily and Alice were on speaking terms with me, or when the majority of the school weren't utterly terrified I was going to turn them into a vegetable, Hogwarts was my home. The only place I'd ever felt really _safe._ Now, with Voldemort and the beginning of a war, safety was a scare and rare feeling. I couldn't leave Dumbledore either. How was I meant to protect myself and my little sister against the wrath of Voldemort and his followers with only four years and a week's worth of magical education?

I wiped my sweaty hands on my neatly washed and ironed (Remus insisted) robes. I was almost an hour early, but I was simply too anxious to wait any longer. I was about to knock when the door flew outwards suddenly and whacked me in the nose.

I groaned and rubbed my nose, which was now bleeding.

"Oh Jaycee! I apologize. Let me fix that. _Episky.__" _Dumbledore quickly healed my nose. "I'm glad you're early because I just received an owl from the ministry. They want to see you at a semi-trial, it sounds like, and they've moved the meeting forward to 8:30am."

"What!" I shrieked. "It's 8:10!"

"It's alright Jaycee. We'll make it with plenty of time to spare. If it makes you any better, they've simply changed it, in hopes you'll be late, to make you look bad in front of the minister. Come on, we're to Floo there immediately." He whisked me inside and towards the fireplace. To be honest, his words didn't make me feel much better.

In a whoosh of green smoke we arrived at the Ministry of Magic. I'd never been inside before. We had Floo-ed to a huge hall, filled with fireplaces. I looked around in awe. Witches and Wizards were stepping out and brushing the dust off their robes, arriving through the visitor's entrances, and appearing from thin air with a pop all over the place. Right in the middle of the massive hall was a golden fountain. It was of a wizard and witch surrounded by a centaur, goblin, and house-elf. All three of the creatures were looking at the wizard and witch adoringly. It almost made me laugh out loud to see this. A goblin? Looking adoringly at a 'wand-carrier?' I think not.

"Right, Jaycee, we still have a little time before our meeting. I wanted to pop into the archives and borrow some information on previous Vigoraters, if you don't mind. It may just come in handy." Dumbledore stated, walking briskly towards the elevators. I hurried to keep up.

"Ah Dumbledore, what brings you here?" A tall skinny man with a mop of dark hair and the beginnings of a moustache slid into the golden elevators after us.

"Barty Crouch. I'm here on Hogwarts business. How's the wife?" Dumbledore politely asked as Crouch pressed the button for Level 2.

"Good, good. Expecting, actually. A son." He said this as nonchalantly as someone else would speak about the weather. "Decided to accept the top job yet?"

"That's wonderful, Barty. Tell her I send her my congratulations. But no, you know I desire as little affiliation with the Ministry as I can get away with. Good luck to you, though. As I've heard, you're the favourite at the moment."

Barty Crouch shrugged.

A cool, female voice spoke when the elevator stopped. "Level 5, Department of International Magical Cooperation."

A couple of owls swooped in carrying messages along with another man with almost white blond hair.

"Crouch. Dumbledore." He said gruffly.

"Abraxus! How are you? It seems we haven't spoken in ages. I can count on you to put a good word in to old Bagnold for me, can't I?" Crouch shook Abraxus' hand and beamed.

I recognized the name 'Bagnold.' Millicent Bagnold was the Minister of Magic. And 'Abraxus' looked uncannily like Lucius Malfoy.

"Of course, Barty. You know Bagnold has a soft spot for you and all the work you've done."

Crouch breathed an audible sigh of relief. Abraxus turned to us.

"Dumbledore? Surely this cannot be the infamous Jaycee Aigleigh." He leered. Crouch seemed to see me for the first time and jumped when he noticed my eyes.

"You brought it _here_?" He asked, incredulously.

"Now now Barty, I'm sure Dumbledore has only brought it here for its trial. So you got the message that the time and place of your meeting had changed, it seems."

The cool voice informed us that this was level 2, Department of Magical Law Enforcement. More owls flew in and one flew out.

"Yes, thank you Abraxus, we did. This is where we must leave you, I'm afraid. I need to visit Dorcas Meadowes before the trial." Dumbledore ushered me out of the elevator.

We walked down a long corridor, with doors leading to offices and a large window at the end of it. There was a general hustle and bustle as people hurried to work or stopped for a chat. Owls flew past searching for recipients. Dumbledore finally stopped in front of a door with a placard that read '_Dorcas __Meadowes: __Director __of __Ministry __for __Public __Information.__'_

"Dorcas graduated a few years ago from Hogwarts. You might remember her. She was the head girl in your 2nd year. Very talented witch. Received Director of MPI shortly after her graduation."

I wracked my brains trying to remember who the head girl had been, but drew a blank. All I could remember was that she had blond hair down to her bum because I'd been extremely jealous of its length at the time.

"Professor! I haven't seen you in almost three years now!" A pretty girl (still with bum length blond hair) lept up from her scatty desk and shook Dumbledore's hand.

"Dorcas, you're an adult now. You don't need to call me professor." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

"But sir, that would just be weird." She laughed. "You're Jaycee Aigleigh, right?"

"Yeah..." I said, waiting for the immediate gasp. But it didn't come. Instead Dorcas continued smiling and shook my hand.

"Hey, I'm Dorcas Meadowes. I remember you back from Hogwarts' days. You were the little kid who did defence stuff some of us seventh years were struggling with! We always wondered how that was possible."

"I guess you know now." I said, a bit shocked at how calm she seemed. I really liked this girl.

"We sure do! It must be awesome being able to heal people like that. You're so lucky." She grinned and turned to Dumbledore. "What can I do you for?"

"We need to check the archives for any information on Vigoraters. Jaycee has a meeting with Dolores Umbridge and Ulvier Dothbred about her schooling. It appears that this 'meeting' has somehow become a 'trial' according to Abraxus Malfoy."

I knew it was Malfoy's father!

"Ah... I see." Her smile dimmed. "I'm not really supposed to let people in unless they have permission from the minister..."

"I understand your predicament, Dorcas, but it may be the difference between expulsion and being allowed to remain at Hogwarts for Jaycee." He said. Dorcas was definitely wavering.

"Well... I could get fired...uhg just for a minute, ok." She walked over to a cabinet and took out her wand. She muttered an incantation and the drawer sprang open to reveal a long silver key. "The main archives are just underneath the courtrooms. How long have you got?"

Dumbledore looked at the watch with 12 hands. "Ten minutes at the very most. Thank you very much for taking this risk." We rushed back to the elevators. Dorcas repeatedly pressed the 'DOWN' button until a lift arrived.

"Level 2, Department of Magical Law Enforcement." The cool voice said. I looked for level 11 but the buttons only went to 9.

"Um... where's 11?" I asked, running my finger down the buttons.

"There is none." Dorcas jabbed the number 9. "It only goes up to 9. We have to walk two flights of stairs."

"Excellent." I muttered.

Luckily, by now, the work day had begun for most people so the elevators were not in high demand. Only one other person shared part of the ride with us. Alastor Moody, Dumbledore called him. He was on his way to a trial. I managed to figure out from the brief conversation between Dumbledore, Dorcas and him that he had broken the Secrecy Act for the seventh time or something. He was a rather frightening looking man. There was a chunk out of his nose and he had quite a few scars. Once he had gone Dumbledore told me he was an Auror, one of the best. Sirius and James both wanted to be aurors. I sure hoped the rest of them weren't as beat up, for their sake.

"Level 9 Department of Mysteries."

"This is us. Come on." Dorcas led us out of the elevator into a dark, cold, windowless, circular room.

"What is this place?" I whispered, looking around. It was kind of creepy in here. There were doors everywhere. All identical. I'd very easily get lost in here.

"The Department of Mysteries." Dumbledore said as Dorcas tapped a door with her wand. "No one knows completely what the Unspeakables really do down here. The Unspeakables are a little like Muggle Scientists, only they conduct much more dangerous experiments." He explained, checking his strange watch again.

"Ok, this is the door." Dorcas pulled open one of the hundreds of black doors to reveal a staircase leading downwards. "Two flights down to the archives."

We hurried down the musky, slightly damp stairwell until coming to a door at the very bottom that read in peeling paint, '_Private __Archives: __STRICTLY __NO __ENTRY __TO __GENERAL __PUBLIC.__'_ Dorcas slid the key in and whispered something to the door.

"Without the password, you can get inside, but the door would disappear on the inside. You'd be trapped until someone else came down here." She said simply.

I gulped. I sure hoped there weren't any dead bodies or skeletons in there. The door opened with a click and our steps echoed as we entered the dark room. Dumbledore pulled what looked like a lighter out of his robes and clicked the top. A white light appeared and flew to the top of the room where it lit the entire room. There were thousands of shelves, stacked with billions of beige folders. Dorcas ran her fingers along the in one of the rows.

"Nope, no good. These are all potions. We're looking for Half-Breeds. Let's split up. Give a holler if you find the right shelf. They should be in alphabetical order." She said and headed off in another direction. Dumbledore went the opposite way, leaving me alone. Suddenly I had a thought. Potions, Dorcas had said. These were the archives for every single thing in the entire wizarding world. I was standing by a shelf that housed every potion known to wizard kind. But could I do this? Could I steal information from the ministry of magic? Did that make me bad?

My heart rate sped up as I fingered the folders, searching for 'P.'

M... N...O... P!

I had to tilt my head to the side to read the names of the potions. There was a huge section of Potions beginning with 'Potio.'

Potio Adficio... Potio Aequus... I skipped about 20 and my heart jumped when I landed on Potio Animus. Nope too far. But close. Finally I found Potio Animare between Potio Animae and Potio Animate.

"Professor! Jaycee! I've found it!" Dorcas' voice seemed far away. "Follow my voice! I'm about 45 shelves away from where we started. Hurry we don't have long!"

My hands were sweating like crazy. I pulled the folder off the shelf and flicked through the pages of information on the potion. There, about 20 pages in was the potion itself. I skimmed the ingrediants list. It was so long and so complex. But I had no time to ponder how I was going to make it, I just needed the instructions. I pulled my wand out of my sleeve.

"Pagus Duplica." I said under my breath. The page duplicated itself and I shoved the original back into the folder on the shelf.

"Jaycee? Where'd you go?" I heard Dorcas' voice, much closer now. Where was I going to hide the copy? Having nowhere else to put it, I folded it up into a tiny square jammed it down my bra. It was uncomfortable, but no one would look there. Then I practically sprinted down the narrow corridors so it wouldn't seem like I'd been in Potions the whole time.

"I'm here!" I yelled. "At... umm..." I quickly scanned the name of one of the shelves. "Magical Fungii!"

Dumbledore and Dorcas' footsteps grew closer.

"Ah, there you are!" She said. "Did you get lost?"

I pounced on this idea. "Yes, I had no idea where I was. These shelves all look the same."

"Don't worry, it's easy to get lost down here. Even I still do sometimes. You should've sent up red sparks of something."

"Oh, I didn't think of that." I shifted my bra, trying to adjust the paper that was digging into my chest.

"I've found some excellent evidence of Vigoraters that led perfectly normal lives, untainted by Grindelwald during the last war. This will definitely come in handy. Let's go now though. We have exactly two minutes to make it to the meeting." Dumbledore held his wand out which pointed in the direction of the way I'd just come from.

We made our way out of the archives and up a flight of stair where level 10, courtrooms, were situated.

"Dorcas, this is where we leave you. Thank you so much for your help. It is much appreciated. Don't forget: 7pm sharp." Dumbledore nodded at Dorcas.

"No problem. Hope everything goes well, Jaycee. It was nice to meet you. See you then, professor." She grinned and kept climbing the stairs to level 9.

We opened the door and headed down another dimly lit corridor. It was absolutely freezing and from the moment the door had been opened I felt any cheerful thought leave me immediately. I soon saw why. Prisoners were being led to and from courtrooms by creatures I had only ever seen in books. Dementors. They eerily glided along the stone floors, effortlessly bringing the vacant eyed prisoners with them. One young boy was screaming something incoherent as he was forced from a courtroom. I was getting really scared. Dumbledore noticed my shaking hands.

"Don't look. This is the very worst of wizards, right here. And I'm not just talking about the prisoners. It'll be alright. You'll be just fine." He said soothingly. I looked at the floor, feeling a little sick.

Dumbledore led me through a large wooden door into a large room filled with intimidating looking witches and wizards all seated in a semi-circle. There were no dementors here, but there was a chair nailed to the floor in the very center. Chains dangled from the arm rests and feet.

"Jaycee Aigleigh?" A woman at the front asked. I nodded mutely. "Please take a seat." She gestured to the scary looking chair.

Dumbledore stopped me from sitting and conjured two comfortable armchairs in front of the chair. The room of wizards and witches muttered amongst themselves.

"Order order." The first woman said. They were immediately silent. I glanced around at the room of people, easily finding Umbridge clad in pink with another ghastly bow. Dothbred too, was in the room, seated next to Umbridge.

"You, Vigorater, have been brought before the court to discuss the implications brought to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry by your presence. The ministry shall be represented by Ulvier Dothbred. Please state your case, Ulvier."

The short, plump wizard rose and began talking about what he had learned from watching me this week, as well as a full... slightly biased... history of Vigoraters. I could barely follow what he was saying. He was speaking in such complex terms.

"And ergo, due to the historical and applied evidence, it has been corroborated by my esteemed colleagues in the Department of Magical Creatures that the potentiality of exigencies brought upon the common school student by this creature are far too formidable to permit reacceptance into the school. We suggest immediate removal." Dothbred took a breath and sat down. Applause sounded around the room. All I got from his 'historical and applied evidence' is that they didn't want me returning.

"Thank you Ulvier. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, please state the defendant's case."

Dumbledore spoke calmly and seriously, mentioning the archival information he'd discovered and about me in particular. I my cheeks blushed flaming red at his conclusion.

"Jaycee is one of the most talented, conscientious, generous and kind students I have come across for a very long time. She has the qualities of a leader and care very deeply about others and their welfare. Expelling this girl would be both a loss for the wizarding community as well as another black mark on the Ministry's record. She has committed no crime, therefore according to our constitution it is her right to be charged with no punishment."

He sat and did not take his eyes off the judge. Some members of the jury were moving uncomfortably in their seats. They knew Dumbledore was right.

"Vigoraters are half-breeds. The constitution doesn't apply to their kind." Someone piped up arrogantly, clearly thinking they had caught Dumbledore out.

"I think you will find, if you turn to Act 1436 section D part ii that _all __wand __carriers __have __the __right __to __a __fair __trial __in __accordance __with __Act __1267: __Magical __Law __Enforcement. _And that Act clearly states that, as I have already mentioned, if no crime has been committed no judicial punishment can be legally implemented."

My head was spinning. I tried to keep up with what was going on. As the trial dragged on I got more and more anxious. I began to make some deals. If I get out of this scot-free I'll never be mean to anyone again. If I can return to Hogwarts I'll get all O's for my OWLS. If I don't get locked up I'll apologize to Lily although she's clearly in the wrong. If I-

"All in favour of allowing the return of Jaycee Aigleigh to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?"

My heart skipped a beat as I quickly tried to count the hands. There were more than half! Surely there were more than half there.

"All in favour of expulsion?"

I was now shaking. This looked like more than half too.

"The Vigorater has been granted permission by the Ministry of Magic to return to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Case closed. Next case: 103 Quentin Rosier, suspected Death Eater activity."

I fleetingly wondered if Evan Rosier knew his father was a suspected Death Eater before the realization that I was going back hit me. All the anxiety and nerves that had been building for the past few weeks encompassed me completely. Black spots dotted my vision and I fell into blackness.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V

I blinked into consciousness in what I recognized to be the Hospital Wing. It was night. I could see the crescent moon through the windown. Sirius was asleep in a chair beside my bed, but other than that the Hospital Wing was completely empty. A sharp pain shot through my head when I sat up.

"Motherf-"

"What's that, dear?" Madam Pomfrey bustled in from the back.

"ish..." I finished. "Motherfish. Mother of fish. That's what I said."

"Wuzzgoinon?" Sirius murmured and sat up. "Goldy! You're ok!" He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"Sirius? What are you doing here? And what do you mean 'I'm ok?'" Last thing I remembered was passing out in the Ministry of Magic.

"You suffered a nasty bonk to the head when you fell. Most unlucky, really. You would've been fine if you hadn't hit something during your fall." Madam Pomfrey said, pouring some thick, electric blue liquid into a spoon. All I could think was that I'd hit my head on that chair behind me. Merlin, that would've hurt. "Here take this for the pain. And _you_" she addressed Sirius, "can leave now. She's fine and needs rest."

"I'm not leaving _now_!" He complained. "She just woke up."

"GO! You've been here all day and night." Madam Pomfrey shooed him away.

"You've been here the whole time?" I asked, touched he'd stayed to make sure I was alright.

"Yeah. Remus and the others were here too, but I didn't want to leave at the end of the day. I was worried." He looked down and shifted awkwardly.

I smiled and propped myself up so I could give him a hug. "You're amazing, Sirius. Thank you." He smiled back.

Madam Pomfrey huffed and said, "Yes yes. Alright then. Mr. Black, out you go. Miss Aigleigh are you feeling alright to go?"

I nodded, the blue medicine having done the trick for the pain. She allowed me to leave too. Sirius and I walked back to the tower together.

"So... Dumbledore said you're allowed back. That's great!" He said grinning. I gave a little jump of joy, remembering.

"Oh yeah! That's right! Thank Merlin! I don't know what I would've done without Hogwarts. Probably curled into a ball and died." I shuddered imagining life without Hogwarts.

"Don't think about it. We're all so glad you're back. And bloody hell, Goldy. Why'd you have to go and suffer a 'serious head injury' as well? Scared everyone half to death seeing Dumbledore levitating you to the Hospital Wing, bleeding everywhere. Lily was sobbing. She thought you'd DIED."

"Lily?" I stopped walking.

"Yeah, she was beside herself." He turned to face me. "Why?"

"Well... we aren't exactly speaking... she was a little pissed that I told you I was a Vigorater before her. Alice too. It's nothing really." I shrugged, trying to carry on walking but he stopped me.

"Are you kidding? That's so stupid." He said and squeezed my hand quickly. "And hey, don't pretend like it's nothing. She's one of your best friends. Losing her would've hurt."

I sighed, "Yeah, it did. But anyway." The Potio Animare find popped into my head. "OH! I have something to tell you!"

"What!" His eyes lit up. I clapped my hands with excitement.

"The potion! It was in the archives." I delved in my bra, looking for the piece of paper. "Hmm... I can't see it."

"I could help you look." He winked.

"Thanks for your... kindness, but I've found it. I put it on the other side." I pulled the paper out and elbowed him in the side.

"Bloody OW, Goldy!"

I giggled as I unfolded the potion. "Here we are. Potio Animare. It's really complex."

Sirius leaned over my shoulder to read it too. "Wow. It says here it takes 3 months to brew completely."

"Crap..." I said. "We'd better get started right away."

"Where do you expect to find all this stuff? I mean, beetle eyes and fluxweed are in the student store cupboard, but griffin claw? Starthistle? I don't even know if some of this stuff is in the private stores. And Merlin's feet Lobalug Venom? Goldy, that's an illegal substance! You'll never find it." He pointed at the 7th item on the ingredients list.

"Sirius Orion Black, are you giving up?" I asked, incredulously.

"No, I'm just _saying_." He looked miffed.

"How about just _saying_ it's worth a shot?" I raised an eyebrow. Even though he seemed doubtful, I was confident we could manage this potion with a little help from a certain professor. He would've be necessarily knowingly helping us, but all the same help was help.

Tomorrow we were going to pay a visit to Professor Slughorn. Well... Sirius and James would. He wouldn't come within 10 metres of me since that Daily Prophet article. This was going to happen. I was making it my personal goal to have Sirius, James and Peter all be fully-fledged Animagi by the end of the year. Remus would never have to spend another full-moon alone.

But why was I feeling a so guilty about what we were doing? This was all to help Remus. So surely, surely, it that made lying to Dumbledore, who had just saved me from expulsion and perhaps even getting locked up, alright.

Didn't it?

**Sorry this took so long. I was waiting, waiting, waiting to see if I could make it to 300 reviews. Unfortunately I only made it 298. So cloooose! But I thought I'd kept everyone waiting way too long. Pleeease keep reviewing! I really love reading them and it makes me feel like people actually are still interested in this story and want to keep reading. Thank you 1000 times to those of you who have been loyally reviewing my chapters **

**Bethy-Boodles: I know :( But don't worry, things will get better... eventually! Thanks for reviewing! And thanks, my play went really well :)**

**XxMixedXxLoverXx: Sorry if it annoys. I just wanted to make Jaycee's life seem more realistic. I mean, imagine how Lily and Alice must feel. Jaycee hadn't told them about one of the most important things in her life. Instead she someone she'd been friends with for much less time than she'd been friends with them. And they're not really angry, they're just hurt. But thanks so much for your concern and for the review!**

**harrypotterlover-97 (Weren't you originally harrypotterlover-94?): OMG! I missed you so much! XD XD XD Why why why don't you want to go on your account? Thanks so much for continuing to read my story though! And leaving a review! You're so not a coward! :D Get back on your account and keep on writing though! You're super good **

**rhapsodieendbleu: HOLY MOTHER! That was a whopper of a review! I can't possibly answer everything in this one A/N (lol the A/N would turn out longer than the chapter!) Calll meeee but! You never end up telling me what you were going to :( tehe. Thanks for the amazingly long review though! LURV YOU! **

**lueche97: Wow! Thanks so much That's really really nice! Hope you like this chapter too!**

**TWHATT18: Thanks for reviewing! I know, it's really bad, and it's irritated other people as well. But as I explained in XxMixedXxLoverXx's review answer, I'm trying really hard not to make everything too easy for Jaycee. All the research I've done has said that's the main factor of Mary-Sue-ness so yeah. Sorry, don't worry it'll get better, I promise. Thanks again for the review! :D**

**Jaisler: Thanks for the review I know; the whole Emily thing is pretty sad. Sorry But it's pretty vital to a major plot point. So yeah, you'll see soon. Hope you like this chappie!**

**LizziePixie-Aiko: Omg I love French so much too! I've decided to take it for my last two years at school. *gulp* haha it's always good to find a fellow lover of French! And I'm so glad you took the time to translate it! I was hoping people would do that! And a lot have been replying and saying they DID! Yay xD haha Thank you for you review!**

**CurlsOfGlory: hahaha thanks for reviewing even though you weren't logged in! Lily's being a bum. But she can be a bit over-sensitive sometimes. Don't fret, it'll all be alright in the end. Thanks for your concern though. :D**

**VictoriousPenguins: Thanks for the review! And when are you going to update again! I like your fanfic!**

**Noelle D: Here you gooo! :D and thanks for reviewing! Hope you enjoyed the chapter**

**Duskfire1954: Cool penname! Whoa thanks so much! That really means a lot to me And thanks for the review!**

**the-far-east-half-blood: Wow that's epic! I wish I had a cool background like that! Anyway, thanks so much for the review! I'm so glad you're liking the story. No fear, Lily and Alice may be acting stupidly now, but they're good people at heart. **

**fflight: Thanks for pointing that out. I did put a little "one week later" in italics, but sometimes the site leaves off my asterisks or italics and page breaks and stuff. Sorry if that wasn't there. I'll quickly check it out. And thank you thank you for reviewing!**

**Girl-With-No-Name-x: Thanks for the review! And taking the effort to translate! I love getting your reviews cause you've been reviewing from close to the start! Thanks so much it really means the world to me. **

**Luli Cullen: Thank you x a gazillion for reviewing! Aw thanks so much I'm glad you liked it. I thought since he's a pure blood and all, he should be bi-lingual. And it means I get to use French in the fanfic! **

**RMH RMH: Taaaaaa thanks for the review as well! Miss you Hope you had a good flight!**

**ellabellabee: I'm super happy you're liking the story! Yeah the government are generally bums in most stories cough cough real life too cough. OMG I swear to god I saw a shop called EllaBellaBee the other day! I was like hooooly shiiiteeeee! :D Just thought I'd tell you! And your story was awesome! **

**.Black: Wowieeeeee that's so amazing for you to say! Thanks so much I know exactly where I'm going to use it haha! :D I want them together toooooo it's hard waiting, but I know I have to for the plot to work properly :/ Thanks again for reviewing! And thanks for posting another chapter, I'm off to read it after I'm through posting :D**

**Ivori: Thanks very much I'm glad you're interested! I was worried people were getting bored. And thanks for the review as well! **


	35. The Marauders' Box

**Dedicated to harrypotterlover- 94 or 97 or 96 or something along those lines! Neither of us remember haha! You were my 300th reviewer! *cue streamers!* Thanks sooo much! And get writing **

**Sorry abou the italics problem! Hopefully I fixed it now!**

Ch 35 The Marauders' Box _December_

I peeked into the cauldron, bubbling in the sink of Moaning Mrytle's bathroom. 20 minutes to finishing our batch of Potio Animare. Sirius, James, Peter and I had been taking turns, religiously waking up at exactly midnight every night to stir the potion precisely two turns clockwise and two turns counter-clockwise since September. It was vital that we did so, or the whole potion would be thrown out of whack. Moaning Mrytle, at first, was very... almost insulted... by our visits. But by now she was used to them and, I suspected, even had a bit of a thing for Sirius. For some strange reason, that made me a little jealous. No one liked Moaning Mrytle much, but for that I particularly despised her. Luckily she had buggered off about an hour ago after bothering us to no ends.

Tonight, the first new moon of the third month since we had begun brewing the potion would be the final and most important in completing the potion perfectly.

Luckily Peter's quite a skilled potioneer or we'd never have done it so well. With me in charge, the thing would have probably exploded after the first ingredient was added.

"Wormtail, how long until we add the thistle root?" James asked, eyes closed, slouched in a corner, clutching the root.

Peter checked his timer. "3 minutes and 23...22...21 seconds."

James groaned and covered his face with the hand not gripping our final ingredient.

"Come on James! This is the LAST night. If it works, you guys could be Animagi by morning!" I whacked his head, rolling my eyes. He was being so negative tonight and it was really pulling the mood down.

"Yeah, Prongsie, lighten up! You'll be a real Prongsie soon." Sirius grinned at his best friend, while adjusting the fire to 'high' for the final 10 minutes.

"If it works." James grumbled under his breath.

"It's going to!" I said confidently, "I can just feel it!"

"Shit..." Sirius said, eyeing the over-flowing cauldron. "Is that supposed to be happening?"

"Ummm..." Peter checked the recipe for the 1000th time. I smacked myself in the face. Of course, it all had to go to custard in the _final_ minutes.

Peter finally said, "No. Prongs, try adding the root now. It's about a minute early, but it might counteract the reaction."

James stood up and stretched, traipsing across the floor slowly. Sirius tutted and grabbed James' arm.

"BLOODY HELL PRONGS! Add the root now! Hurry the fuck up, I'm not waiting another 3 months to be an Animagus!" He shouted.

"Language..." I growled. They ignored me.

James dumped the root into the potion. The rate of bubbling immediately dropped until the mixture was only simmering. It suddenly turned from a light shade of teal to pure white. Exactly at the stage it should be. We all breathed a sigh of relief.

"Exactly 11 minutes and 9 seconds until it should be done." Peter announced. Sirius gave a whoop of delight, grabbed my hand, and twirled me around and around. I laughed, exhilarated from being so SO near to finishing what we'd begun two years ago.

The final 10 minutes were excruciating. I jumped at every bubble, terrified something had gone wrong. Peter's forehead was shiny with nervous sweat. Even Sirius looked on edge, gripping my hand tighter and tighter as the 10 minutes came closer to their end. My hand was numb by four minutes to go. I was so anxious that I barely registered. Nerves, it seemed, had given James a second wind. He stood with the rest of us, hovering over the potion, peeking out from behind his hands at its progress.

Peter checked the timer. "1 minute left." He croaked. "Now remember. When I say GO get the potion away from the flames _immediately_."

We nodded, not taking our eyes of the potion which had, by now, turned crystal clear. I could hear Sirius' shaky breathing in my ear. My heart pounded, a little from nerves, but mostly from the fact that Sirius hadn't let go of my hand in 10 minutes.

"20-19-18..."

What if we screwed it up SO near the end? Two years of patience! To lose it all now would be awful! My breathing grew quicker. I almost felt like I wanted to throw up.

"Still here?" Mrytle popped up on the other side of Sirius and leaned over the potion. We all jumped nearly out of our skin. My hand being so numb, I barely felt Sirius dig his nails into my skin.

"MRYTLE!" James screeched. "Don't DO that."

"TEN!" Peter yelled over Mryte's cackle as she flew above us lazily. "NINE! EIGHT!"

I extricated my hand from Sirius' and shook it a little to prepare for moving the cauldron. It was going to be heavy. We all needed to help.

"Does this mean you-" Mrytle began in her breathy, high pitched voice.

"SIX... FIVE!"

"SHUT UP MRYTLE!" I shrieked.

"That's not very nice! You're all being so..."

"FOUR!"

"Rude! And none of you have suffered what I have!" She wailed and let out a sob.

"THREE!" Peter was doing his best to be heard over the noise Myrtle was making. We barely even heard her, though. We were all so tense, waiting for Peter to shout GO.

"TWO... ONE..."

This was it. Two years of work, coming down to this moment...

"GO!"

We all gripped the handles of the potion and tried to lift it off the flames.

"No one cares about me at all" Myrtle wailed some more and dived headfirst down a toilet. Thank Merlin! If she hadn't been a ghost I sure as hell would have been ready to strangle her.

"It's not working!" James grunted.

"It HAS to!" I yelled, pulling harder. The cauldron shifted and a drop of the clear liquid hit the floor.

"Shit! Don't lose any!" Sirius said, breathless from trying to lift the heavy cauldron. I don't know if anyone in the wizarding world has ever tried to lift a boiling hot cauldron off flames and onto the floor without spilling, but I definitely don't recommend it.

We managed to ease the cauldron onto the bathroom floor and I turned the tap on to extinguish the flames.

"You know..." James said slowly, something dawning on him. "We could've just put the fire out magically."

Sirius' jaw dropped. "Are you serious?" He looked like he was about to kill someone.

"No, that's you." I stated, earning a chuckle from the boys, "Plus, we couldn't have done that anyway because... look...here..." I lifted James' hand and made him touch the inside of the sink.

"HOLY SHIT!" He ripped his hand away from mine and put his fingers in his mouth, doing some kind of kind of freaky jumps and hops around the room.

"It's still hot..." I finished. Sirius was in peals of laughter, rolling on the floor after watching James do his war dance. Peter was giggling too.

"Ah Goldy," Sirius laughed, sitting up, "What would we do without you?"

"Probably die young from lack of common sense." I said plainly, sitting next to him and Pete. James scowled at me, still nursing his hand and joined us on the floor.

We all looked at the potion in front of us. No one wanted to check it. What if we'd made a mistake? Finally plucking up some courage, I stood back up and peered into the cauldron. If we'd done it correctly, it should have become opal colour, bending and reflecting light, as soon as we'd removed it from the flames. I held my breath.

"YES!" I pumped my fist in the air. It was perfect! I wanted to cry with relief. Instead I settled for a massive group hug.

"We d-did it!" Peter said, disbelievingly. "We actually did it."

"Ok... who's brave enough to go first?" I asked and conjured a goblet.

"I vote James." Sirius said quickly and pushed James towards me.

"What? NO! You do it!" James replied and hid behind Sirius.

"James, just take the goblet." I filled it with potion and handed it to him. He reluctantly accepted and swirled it around. "Remember, imagine being your animal. You have to want it so badly your SKIN itches to be it."

He nodded and screwed up his face. We all watched, apprehensively. If it worked, it would be amazing. If it didn't... we didn't know what was going to happen.

James tentatively brought the cup to his lips and gulped it down.

"It'll probably hurt the first time..." I added, as an afterthought. He shuddered, eyes wild. And then involuntarily dropped the cup and began convulsing. I'd never watched someone's first transformation so I had no idea if this was supposed to be happening.

"Uh..." Peter looked terrified and glanced at Sirius and me, not sure if we should try to help. But moments later, James' spine began to shift and antler's sprouted from his head. His whole face was transforming until, moments later, a fully grown stag stood proudly before us. He dipped his head gracefully.

"Shit." Sirius said mouth agape. "My turn!" He grabbed the goblet off the floor and filled it up with the potion. After he'd transformed, Peter did the same. Peter's transformation took much longer. I was worried it had gone wrong because while James and Sirius had transformed in less than a minute, Peter had spent almost two in the changing stage. I was frantically yelling at him the whole time to YEARN TO BE HIS ANIMAGUS and PUT HIS WHOLE MIND INTO IT, willing it to work.

At last, before me were a stag, a shaggy black dog, and a rat. I couldn't even comprehend how much blood, sweat and tears had gone into this very moment. My legs went weak with happiness and I felt tears spring to my eyes. I pulled myself together enough to transform into my phoenix and soared around the room with delight. Sirius alternated between chasing his tail and chasing after me, playfully tripping and stumbling as he mastered his new form. James was trying to manoeuvre his skinny legs and antlers but was finding it a bit of a challenge to move very far. Peter had the easiest job of moving as a rat and had it mastered in less than five minutes, but James still had some work to do when we decided to change back and clean up the mess.

"That was amazing! Like... wow. So unreal. Did that really just happen?" Sirius rambled on while he cleaned, not really talking to anyone. I smiled, remembering when I'd transformed for the first time. It really had been the most incredible, breath-taking experience.

All three of the boys walked back to the common room in a daze, still in shock by their first five minutes as Animagi. The Fat Lady scolded us severely for being out after curfew, but I don't think any of them even heard her lecture.

Sirius pulled me into a bone-crushing hug, "Thank you SO much! You're the bestest person in the whole world!"

"Took us the best part of two years, but we did it, didn't we!" I grinned and hugged him back.

"OI! Padfoot? Bestest person in the whole world? Remember me? Your best mate?" James raised his eyebrows.

"Sorry Prongs, but I can't snog and or sleep with you, can I? That detracts from the 'bestest person ever' thing, in my books." He winked at me. James rolled his eyes.

"Well, you're delusional if you think you _can_ snog and or sleep with me." I pulled a tongue. James cracked up and slapped me on the back.

"Excellent! I do believe you have earned the title of 'bestest person in the world.'" He giggled.

"Shhh!" I hissed, containing a smile. "You're going to wake the whole tower up!" I looked around, hoping no one had been disturbed.

"You're such a worry-guts, Goldy!" Sirius complained and collapsed onto the couch. I marched over to him and put my hands on my hips.

"I just spent two years training you to be illegal animagi, the past three months brewing an illegal potion, AND on top of that I pinched the recipe from the Archives at the Ministry. I am NOT a worry-guts!" I counted out my offenses on my fingers. "So there!"

Sirius made a face and grabbed my waist, pulling me on top of him. "But you still worried about it."

I squealed when he tickled my ribs. "STOP IT!" I spluttered, trying to escape. "I am bloody ticklish! When will you get that through your thick- Eeee! Cut it out!"

"Never!" He laughed.

"Oh just go out with each other and get it over with!" James complained and sat in the armchair. Peter silently joined us. Sirius and I blushingly separated.

After an awkward pause Sirius spoke again. "Does this remind you guys of the first Animagi training session ever?"

"When Filch almost caught us? And James wanted to find an easier way around the castle. You wanted cool nicknames. I remember that! " I thought back to that night. Peter had been the only one not to produce a corpeal patronus. We'd stumbled back to the common room well past curfew after beginning our adventure into Animgai. Sirius had been a pain in the bum. Tonight was just the same. Only this was the end of the adventure, so to speak.

James caught Sirius and Peter's eye. Sirius shrugged. Peter nodded. Ignoring their exchange, I stretched out across the couch like a cat.

"Jace..." James began. "Remember how I wanted to find an easier way around the castle?"

"Yeah?" I yawned, rolling back over to Sirius who put his arm around me. I rested my head on his chest and just listened to his steady heartbeat. It was heaven and I wanted to stay there forever. In fact, I was so caught up listening to his heartbeat and deep breaths that I almost missed what James said next.

"We kind of did it. We made a map of the school." He said proudly, puffing out his chest. I shut my eyes and Sirius pulled me closer.

"That's...er... great guys." I mumbled sleepily. "But we got maps of the school on our very first day." Sirius absent-mindedly played with my hair, twirling the purple strand around his finger.

"Nooo!" James said and hopped out of his seat. "This one's better. I'll show you! Get up!" He bounded over and shook my arm. That really irritated me because I didn't particularly WANT to get up right at that moment. I was perfectly happy exactly where I was.

"Fine." I sighed and reluctantly removed myself from Sirius' arms.

James looked behind me at Sirius. "What?" He asked, affronted.

Sirius presumably didn't answer, as James merely shrugged and pulled me up the boys' staircase. Peter and Sirius trailed behind.

Once we reached their dorm I was dragged in and made to sit on a bed. Remus was asleep in the one next to me. _Was_asleep being the key word here. As soon as we'd entered, he groggily sat up and shielded the light from his eyes.

"What the hell? Where've you guys been? Have you JUST gotten in?" He asked, rubbing sleep from his eyes. "And Jace? No offense, but why are you here?"

Sirius sprawled across his bed, messing with the Rubic's cube I'd got him as part of his present this year. He'd been desperate to crack mine, but I wouldn't let him near it, insistent that I had to do it myself. Of course, he always managed to get hold of it somehow, so I ended up buying him his own. Peter sat watching him, clapping excitedly every time he got a full row. James scuffled around under his bed leaving me to explain what had happened to a very confused Remus.

"Well, the potion was ready tonight. We snuck out to finish it. The guys are Animagi now. James has a map." I thought I'd done a brilliant job of summing up the night's work. Remus clearly didn't think so.

"Wait... WHAT?" He lent over his bedside and grabbed a T-shirt off the floor. He pulled it over his head and sat up properly. "You're all Animagi now? Oh gee thanks for telling me!" He said sarcastically.

"Sorry Moons, we'll explain it all later. Jace needs to see the map." James pulled out a big wooden box.

"No, don't give her the whole box!" Sirius, pink in the face, dropped the cube, leapt off the bed and quickly removed it from James' hands.

"Uh no? Give her the whole box! She's interested now." I said eagerly, wondering what was in it that made Sirius blush. I, too, hopped off the bed and snatched it from his hands in a revenge tickle attack.

"Give that back!" Sirius chased after me. Remus was still looking a bit disoriented. Sometimes I felt bad for him, being friends with the likes of James and Sirius. Peter watched us from the confines of his bed.

"No!" I said stubbornly, shooting a petrificus totalus at Sirius with my free hand.

"Actually, maybe it _would_ be best just to show you the map." James backtracked, looking guiltily at the other three.

"Too late!" I sung happily, opening the box. The inside of the lid read:

_Property of the Marauders_

_Keep your mitts off our stuff_

"That's friendly." I stated and took out the first piece off parchment. "The Marauder rules are as follows." I scanned the list. "This is hilarious! _A __Marauder __is __obliged __to __help __his f__ellow __Marauder __get __the __object __of __their __desires __in __any __and __all __ways __conceivable. __A __Marauder __must __join __in __any __and __all __pranks __thought __up __by __the __group. __A __Marauder __may __not __date __an__ '__ex__' __of __his __fellow __Marauder __unless __explicit __permission __is __given. __Marauders __must __never __share __secrets __with __those __outside __the __Marauder __circle, __except __Goldy._ Aww I'm touched!" I giggled. Next to that rule was a messy scribble that said 'That bit from Sirius' 'Is not, and James is a queer.' I laughed out loud. My life would be so boring without these boys.

Also inside the box was a smaller ornate box, a notebook, a tatty, signed, copy of 'Hairy Snout; Human Heart,' a tiny bottle of liquid luck, a photo album and a golden snitch.

"Why is this in here?" I asked, tossing the ball in the air and catching it.

"I've always sort of wanted to be a Seeker, but never had the balls to try it. Dad played Keeper when he was in school, so obviously I tried for that position." James mumbled, blushing a little. He looked at Sirius guiltily, who was still frozen on the ground.

I put the ball back.

"Guessing the book is Remus'?" I asked, fingering the illegible signature of the author. "How'd you find the author? Isn't the book Annonymous?"

"The author's also some kind of werewolf psychologist. Mum and Dad took me to him when I like 7 or 8. Long story short, he saw me reading the book, told me he'd written it, asked me to keep it a secret, and signed it for me. There end of story." He yawned and propped his pillows up to lie back. "You reckon you guys should un-petrificus Pads?"

"Oh alright." I sighed and muttered the counter jinx.

"Jesus, Goldy! That was mean!" He brushed himself off and slapped my arm.

"Ouch! I'm guessing the black notebook is your contribution to this box. Let's look at that next." I smugly grinned at Sirius and opened the notebook. He didn't look to happy with the current state of affairs.

"Sirius' Book of Girls." I read, eyebrows shooting up. "_This_ looks interesting!"

"Oh Merlin... here we go." Sirius covered his head with a pillow.

I looked through the pages. It seemed to be a list of all the girls he'd snogged with ratings next to their names.

"Sirius! This is appalling!" I said, aghast. This boy, honestly! Did he know no human boundaries of right and just plain wrong? Wait... he really rated Naomi Everton 9.7/10? Did he think she was pretty? She was such a slut! Maybe he was into the bleached blonde hair and orange spray tan thing?

I yanked the pillow off his head and glared at him. "You're a chauvinistic pig, did you know that?"

James and Remus were trying to contain themselves. Peter was dozing off on his bed, probably exhausted from tonight's work.

"We _told_ you she'd kill you if she saw it!" Remus howled with laughter, setting James off.

"I didn't think she'd ever see it..." Sirius said under his breath. I whacked him over the head.

"Hey wait a minute!" I scanned through the very long list of names again. "Why am I not in here!" I asked angrily.

Sirius turned an even brighter red. I'd never seen him so red before. James' jaw dropped. Remus, already knowing, smiled secretly to himself as if he knew something no one else did.

"Hold the phone!" James began.

"Ooh! A photo album!" I grabbed the album out and flicked to the first page, trying to change the subject as Sirius had clearly not told James yet. The first photo was of the four of them in first year. They were by the Great Lake and if you looked closely, you could see Mary and me, splashing in the water in the background.

"Awwww this photo's so CUTE!" I said, smiling. The book was filled with photos from first year to now. Of all our year. Mainly the four of them. And me in the ones from third year onwards. Lily unknowingly starred in quite a few. Clearly it was James' camera. Seeing Lily really cut me. She was being so stubborn about our stupid fight. Even though Sirius had told me about how upset she'd been when I knocked myself out... she still hadn't said anything. Well... I suppose I hadn't either. But this wasn't my problem! If _she_ had an issue and had told James before Mary and me... we wouldn't be upset... right?

"No hang on a minute! Don't just change the subject Jaycee Aigleigh. Why would you be in there?" He grabbed the black book and looked from Sirius to me and back again.

"Um... well... w-we... er... last year... uh..." Sirius stuttered, not looked at anyone.

"We kissed, ok. Happy? Neither of us felt anything, so it didn't really mean anything. We _don__'__t_ like eachother like that, but I'm still pissed off he didn't put me in the sexist notebook." I said, flicking through photos. It hurt a bit to say I hadn't felt anything when we kissed. Because, boy, had I felt something. And it hurt because I knew _Sirius_ hadn't felt anything. Not even enough to put me in his dumb book. That's how little our kiss meant.

"You WHAT! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!" James screeched. Sirius played with his thumbnail and I continued flicking though pictures.

Remus gave James a look which any idiot could've seen said 'Shut the hell up.' Thankfully, he did so, still looking back and forth between us in complete shock and horror.

The last photo took me by surprise. It was Sirius and I in the common room together, both fast asleep. Sirius was sprawled out across the couch, me lying next to him. He had his arm wrapped around my waist and my arm was draped across his chest. Our faces were inches apart. This was clearly before we kissed; at the end of fourth year. I remembered when we used to study late for exams together, sometimes we'd nod off and wake up next to each other. James must have seen us and snuck down to take a photo. The little bastard...

It was a cute photo through. If I didn't know any better, I would think it looked like we were actually going out.

James crept up behind to see what photo I was looking at.

"Yeah! You don't like eachother like that at allllllllllll." He hooted and skidded across the room to avoid me swiping him across the face.

I knew I was blushing now too, but tried, once again to change the subject. "Let's see what's in this little box then."

I swapped the album for the little box and opened it. Inside was a blank piece of parchment. I'm not kidding. It was, by the looks of it, really old too. A blank, old sheet of parchment. What the hell?

"Um... why do you guys have this?" I asked, utterly confused, poking it with my wand.

Remus reached across the gap between the beds to grab it. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." He stated. I put the big box down and eagerly moved to Remus' bed. I sat next to him and leaned across to see the formerly blank parchment.

The words: _Messrs __Moony, __Wormtail, __Padfoot, __and __Prongs: __Purveyors __of __aids __to __Magical __Mischief-__Makers __are __proud __to __present __the __Marauders__' __Map._Lines had appeared on the parchment and more were following. They laced around the page, connected and creating what was beginning to look like a map of Hogwarts. Only there were passages I didn't recognize, some leading off the map. And dots were moving around, script appearing below them. Names, I realized. Each dot represented someone inside the castle. Yes, sure as daylight, there were James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and Jaycee Aigleigh in the fifth year boys' dorm.

"Wow." I breathed. This was incredible. "Look! There's Mrs. Norris on her early morning rat chasing rounds." I pointed out the dot labelled Mrs. Norris. "What are these corridors? They're not in the school."

"Those are secret passageways around and out of Hogwarts." Remus explained. "That's to Honeydukes. That's to the Shrieking Shack. The one behind the mirror on the fourth floor also goes to Hogsmeade. The Apothecary.

"That one's caved in, no use, really, but we put it on anyway." James joined it.

"The one behind Gregory the Smary goes to the top of the astronomy tower. Quite useful really." Sirius said, tracing the passage with his finger.

"Wow, you guys have outdone yourself! This is amazing. Really advanced magic." I couldn't believe it. This must have taken ages. After they had assured me I could use it any time and safely packing it away, Remus suggested we all get some sleep as we actually _did_ have school tomorrow.

The rest of us grudgingly agreed. I said goodbye and traipsed back to the girls' dorms. I was about to turn the handle, but a noise on the other side of the door stopped me. It sounded like someone was crying. What the?

I pushed the door open to see Lily hunched over on her bed, holding something, sobbing her eyes out.

"Lily?" I whispered incredulously, trying not to wake everyone else up. She looked up, her tear stained face shining in the faint light of the stars. There was no moon tonight.

She froze and looked at me for a long time before speaking.

"I- I'm sorry." She breathed so quietly I could hardly hear her.

"Forgiven." I said immediately. "What's wrong!"

"No!" She said louder, still sobbing. "Don't forgive me so easily! I was the biggest bitch to you. I don't deserve your forgiveness. Look." She held out what she was holding. A silver chain with a heart on it. The four of us had exchanged identical necklaces for Christmas back in first year.

"Oh, I remember those." Mine was in my drawer.

"I was just thinking about first year. How nice you were to me, even though I was awful to you." She sniffed. "I'm not brave like you, Jaycee. I may act like it... but I'm not. I can't own up to being wrong. I can't forget when I think someone's wronged me. I can't see anything past the moment. I messed up. I'm so sorry."

"Lily!" I raced over to her and sat next to her. "It's ok. You _are_ brave. I don't mind at all. You're a good person. Stop being so silly!" I put my arms around her.

"You needed me. And all I cared about was that you'd told someone else before me! I'm the worst friend ever. I was so so worried when you cut your head open. But I couldn't bring myself to admit that I was wrong." She cried. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"Lils! Already forgiven." I didn't care what _had_ happened. All I could think was Lily wanted to be my friend again. I had one of my best friends back. I would accept her with open arms. I'd been miserable without her. Life's really too short to hold grudges.

"I love you so much, Jaycee. I'm so sorry. And I'm sorry it took me so long." She hugged me, wiping her eyes.

"I love you too. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I was afraid of what you'd think." I whispered back.

"I could never think badly of you. You're the most amazing person ever." Suddenly she looked at me horrified. "Oh my Merlin! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you! Did I? Oh I hope not! I'm so sorry!"

"What?" I asked, perplexed. "Oh... Lily, I don't care what you call me. Or what the ministry calls me. It honestly doesn't offend me." I smiled and hugged her again.

"Ok. Sorry. Is there anything you want me to do to make up to you? I'll do anything!" She begged.

"Well... Could you give James a chance?" I asked jokingly. She paused.

"Is there something else you want?"

We giggled. I found that I, myself, had tears on my cheeks. I had my Lily back. Nothing else mattered.

**Hey all! Hopefully that wasn't too long a wait, this time. And I hooooped you all liked the chapter! You know what to do... review! XD And that rhymes! XD XD XD XD Exciting haha**

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**ellabellabee: I loooove reading your ramblings! They're often rather amusing tehe. Thanks so much for the long review! I 3 him too! Ahahaha three. I three you, Sirius! XD**

**XxSiruslyinlovexX: Wow! Thanks soooo much! That's so nice! Like... wowwwwwww it actually made my day :D :D Ok, I've already prewritten quite a few chapters, but I'll try to squeeze in some more protectiveness. If you have any ideas, I'd LOVE to hear them. Just send me a PM **

**Ivori: Oh deeaar, I don't know why that's happening... something to do with the italics maybe? I'll see if I can fix it. Thanks for telling me And thanks for the review, too (more rhymes! Eeeeee)**

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**thebritishone: First of all, no problem! Don't worry I'm just glad you're back! Yaaayyaaayyyaayyy golden toadiness! XD Thanks for the super long review(s) hehe! Lol I just looked up what a 'quince' is. It's a pear shaped fruit. Well, I did imagine both of those characters to be quite pear-shaped! Hahahaha so I guess it fits! Woooo new insult! I WISH my hair was that long. I'm growing it, though. It's halfway there! Come on, hair! You can do it! Haha. Thanks again for the amazing review! And I can't wait to listen to the song. Have you heard of the band Bright Eyes? At first I was like... what is this music? Then I really got into it! I love the song 'We are nowhere and it's Now" sooo good!**

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**sexichick: Thanks for the advice I actually meant for it to be referring to finally finding the potion, but yeah I totally see what you mean! Thanks again and for reviewing! :D**

**.Black: haha I love those kind of sugar highs! I'm kind of on one right now after a cherry coke, loads of mega sour lemon balls and half a tub of icecream! Woooo sugarrrrrr. Omg gobstoppers! Those are so good! Hehehe I'm siriusly glad you liked it XD I'm so devs he's only a fictional character No problem for the review! I really like your fanfic! It's epic **


	36. The Moon

Ch 36 The Moon _January_

"A three foot book report on Entrail-Expelling Explained to be handed in on Friday. No exceptions." Professor Larson snapped. She was in a particularly bad mood today. There were purple circles under her eyes from lack of sleep and she was looking paler and skinnier than usual.

"Three feet?" Mary turned around to face Remus and me and made a face.

"I know right." Remus rested his head on his arms and sighed deeply. He'd also been a bit under the weather lately. At least I knew the cause in his case. The full moon was tonight. We'd spent the past two moons with him and he seemed much happier, but it still must be hell going through that every month.

"You know, just on top of the 20 million other things we have due this week." He mumbled, sneaking a peak at Mary from between his arms. Mary nodded and when Professor Larson had turned around to find some chalk, pulled a tongue at the teacher. Remus weakly smiled. Mary blushed a little and averted her eyes.

"Jace? Want to catch up on potions with me tonight? We're both soo behind and OWLs are in like..." she counted on her fingers, "five months!"

"Oh um... I can't do it tonight." I searched for an explanation. "I have to... er... detention! I have detention." I grinned, relieved to have found a good excuse.

"Why're you so happy then?" She asked. I immediately changed my expression into one that would be suited at the funeral of a close friend. Remus laughed and put his head on the desk, tired out from the past few lessons.

"How bout we have a massive OWL study prep during the afternoon? It's Career Advice, so we've all got the last few periods off." I suggested. I was really nervous about Career Advice. I wanted to be a Healer, obviously, but now that everyone knew what I was... I highly doubted that St. Mungo's would take me. In fact, I was terrified that _no where_ would want a Vigorater. Remus was jittery about leaving school too. Werewolves had a 93% unemployment rate, according to him.

Mary beamed. "Excellent!" She said, "And I don't think any of us will take too long in the meeting. James, Sirius, Lily and Alice know they want to be Aurors and they'll have no problem getting accepted. You're a shoo-in for a Healer. Nope! Don't give me that look, Aigleigh. You'll be fine. I'm going to be a journalist, Peter, a potioneer and... hang on... Rem what do you want to be?" Mary turned to Remus, who was fighting sleep.

"Hmm? Oh um. I don't know. I'll talk to McGonagall." He lied. But I knew exactly what Remus was aiming for. He desperately wanted to be a teacher and had only told me, knowing his chances were thin on the ground. No school in its right mind would hire a werewolf. And that was really sad. I hadn't told him so, but hearing the defeat in his voice had made me want to cry. It wasn't fair. Remus was the most amazing person I'd ever met. I'd never heard him say a bad word about anyone. He was loyal and generous, clever and, unlike _some_ Marauders... cough cough... Sirius Black... cough, respected girls and people in general. He was my best friend. And he had no future thanks to the prejudice of the wizarding world. He'd have been the best teacher.

The word werewolf jumped out at me from Lily and Alice's whispered conversation across the aisle. I was immediately drawn in.

"Frank told me his cousin got bitten by a werewolf over the summer. His whole family is distraught. They don't know what to do. The little boy's only 4." Alice said sadly. That was the age Remus had been when he was bitten.

"Wait, are you serious. That's awful." I whispered across the aisle to Alice, who looked at me, horrified. Alice and I had made up the day after Lily and I had. Alice approached me at breakfast and apologized profusely. She said Mary had spoken to both she and Lily the night before and had made them feel really guilty. Mary had said how selfish they were being and that even though it seemed like I didn't trust them, that probably wasn't the case at all. That they hadn't even asked for an explanation. She didn't realize Lily and I had made up the night before. I forgave her on the spot, of course. And it was like a weight off my chest, being friends with everyone again. Mary, my amazing Mary, had once again proved what a loyal friend she was.

"Oh Merlin, Jaycee, please don't tell anyone. I was only going to tell Lily. Crap, that sounds bitchy. I didn't mean it like that, it's just..." She stammered, trying to diplomatically tell me to butt out.

"No, don't worry. I know exactly what you mean. Just... I feel so bad for their family." I said pensively, thinking of how that must feel. How I would feel if Emily were bitten.

"Yeah, me too..." Lily said softly. "How awful that he's only a baby, really. It... It makes me sick." She looked almost at the point of tears. I reached across the aisle and held her hand. I hoped Remus hadn't overheard.

No such luck.

"Tell the mother to read Hairy Snout, Human Heart. It really gives an insight to what a werewolf child needs in his life. Oh, and don't worry." He added when Alice once again looked horrified she'd been overheard, "I promise I'll keep it a secret."

I released Lily's hand and turned to him, somewhat surprised by his blank face. But I briefly saw a flash of near devastation in his eyes and I could almost hear his thoughts. Another child cruelly transformed into a monster, he'd be thinking. I tried to express sympathy in just my facial expression, knowing that even a touch might give away his secret.

"Students at the back!" We jumped at Professor Larson's sharp tone. Everyone else had begun packing up. Whoops. She narrowed her eyes. "The bell has rung and I hope, for your sake, you were listening to the last few instructions. Mr. Lupin, please could you stay behind for a minute. The rest of you may go."

We stood up and grabbed our books. The others moved towards the door. I shot Remus a confused look to which he answered with a shrug. He had no more knowledge than I did to why he had to stay behind. Alice and Mary were waiting for me just outside. He waved, telling me he'd meet up with us at lunch. I joined the girls. Lily was talking to Severus Snape a bit further down the corridor. She was happily chatting away. But by the look on his face, he wasn't listening at all to what she was saying; only soaking in her laughter and light.

"Lily? You coming to lunch?" Alice called, beginning towards the Great Hall.

"Shouldn't we wait for Rem?" She shouted over her shoulder.

"Nah, he said he'd catch us up." I yelled down the hall, tapping my foot impatiently.

"Where's Lupin?" Snape asked Lily snidely. Slimy git. None of his business!

"Oh, Professor Larson asked him to stay behind for a bit. Well, see you later Sev. We're studying together tonight right?"

"Yes, but Lily, listen. This, once again, supports my theory! Why do you think Larson called him back? You know what night it is tonight?" He widened his eyes. "They're _clearly_ both-"

"Sev, I know your theory," She cut him off, "but it's highly unlikely a little ridiculous. See you later, alright." She rolled her eyes playfully, waved, and skipped towards us.

"What was that?" Mary asked, looking thoughtfully back at Snape's retreating form.

Lily shrugged and started nattering away about how she'd charmed Slughorn into letting her use his private stores for extra practice. Bloody Lily. The second most perfect potioneer I know. Me being probably the second worst.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V

Remus never turned up for lunch. He wasn't back at the common room either. Mary suggested heading down to the library to see if he was there, but James told her he'd find us when he wanted to. Mary replied by saying James was an arsehole who didn't care an iota about his friends and went to find him herself.

"You do know that girl's insane, right?" James grumbled, throwing his books on the floor by the fire and sitting down opposite Lily and Alice.

"Hey! That's one of my best friends you're talking about, James Potter." I glared from my comfortable position on the bigger couch. Sirius and I were lying lengthways, opposite each other. He was testing me on the potion ingredient bases and acids, claiming he didn't need to study. I told him he was being an arrogant berk, but welcomed the opportunity to have one of the better Potions students help me with open arms... and the opportunity to spend two free periods in touching distance of Sirius, of course.

Lily and Alice were sitting with their backs against the chair giggling about something Frank had said to Alice the other day, clearly not studying either. Peter was silently mouthing incantations next to James and Mary hadn't returned yet.

"Whatever... where are they anyway?" He flipped to a section on the Second Goblin Rebellion in his History of Magic textbook, took one look at it, shut the book, and opened his notebook which I knew to be not full of notes, but full of doodles.

"How should I know?" I turned back to Sirius.

"Ok, Goldy, here's an easy one. If you combined the liver of a newt with the bark of an Ash tree and you kept it over a fire for exactly 13 minutes would the result be basic or acidic?" He grinned, fully aware of the fact that I didn't know.

"Don't be mean Sirius." Lily cut in, shaking her head. "Jace, it's a trick question. It'd be neutral because 13 isn't a number recognized by the Wizarding Potions Ingerdient scale, or the WPI. That's a NEWT question."

I frowned at Sirius and turned my head away, pretending to be most offended. "How could you, Black!"

"Just keeping you on your toes," he winked. I stretched my arm out to hit him, but before I could make contact Mary and Remus entered the common room. Holding hands! Both their lips looked a little swollen, too. Remus was clearly in shock, but smiling like an idiot.

"Does this mean what I think it does!" Alice shrieked as they joined our study circle. Mary nodded shyly and squeezed Remus' hand. Lily, Alice and I screamed with excitement, temporarily deafening the boys.

"Oh my MERLIN! This is so exciting!" Lily clapped and whipped her side fringe out of her sparkling eyes.

"Yeah, it's always nice when people who are clearly perfect for each other get together, isn't it Sirius? Right, Jace?" James smiled innocently at his best friend. Sirius glared at James. I involuntarily blushed.

"Oh no, but 'they don't like each other like that!'" Mary teased and tickled the sole of my foot. I squealed and kicked out, desperately trying to free myself. Everyone laughed.

When I finally managed to escape, I sat up and crossed my arms. "Well, it's 2:55. Gryffindors start at 3:00 and I'm first. As much as it pains me to leave you evil people, I'm afraid I must go. Mary, don't tell them anything until I'm back!"

Once she'd assured me she'd wait before telling the story of how they'd ended up snogging and made Sirius promise we'd go over History of Magic next, I left the common room and made my way to McGonagall's office.

A couple of Hufflepuff second years, late for their next class, scuttled away from me as I passed them. I sighed, frustrated. Though it'd gotten better since I'd been accepted back into Hogwarts, most of the younger years were still terrified I was coming to get them. A lot of the kids in our year clearly felt similarly, but, against my wishes, the Marauders sorted most of them out. Ironically, now, most of them were terrified to be terrified of me. I didn't really mind though. I had my friends. And I would always have Emily. She'd sent me the cutest letter the other day. There was this boy in her class that she had a crush on, she said. And she didn't know how to talk to him. It made me a little sad, reading her perfect print. She was 10 now and 'crushing' on boys.

"Come in Aigleigh." McGonagall said when I knocked on her door. I opened it and slipped around, smiling apprehensively.

"Hi, Professor." I sat down where she indicated.

"Would you like a biscuit?" She held out a tin and I picked a jam one. She selected a sugar covered one. When we had finished she asked, "Now, Aigleigh, you're a tricky one. What is it you're _wanting _to go into after school?"

"Well... obviously I'd quite like to be a Healer, but I know St. Mungo's probably won't accept me easily." I shrugged. McGonagall looked thoughtful. She tapped her fingers on her ornate desk.

"NEWT subjects required for Healing are Transfiguration, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, Potions and Charms. You're averaging an O in Transfiguration, Defence and Charms. An E in Herbology is acceptable, but you're only just scraping an A in Potions. You'd need to pull it up to at least and E to be even be considered in normal circumstances. If you manage a final O result in all these subjects, you may have a chance."

I internally groaned. Imagine taking Potions for my last two years at school with only a _chance_ of making it as a Healer.

"Even though you _are _now a listed Vigorater, no properly functioning business could just overlook an applicant with straight Os. I suggest you do take these subjects. A few excellent recommendations wouldn't hurt either. Those you could easily get. I do believe you stand a fair chance, Aigleigh."

She spoke with a brash tone, but her words still made me beam. She thought I could easily get excellent recommendations? She really believed I stood a chance? I couldn't express, in words, what that meant to me.

"Thank you, Professor." I said. She offered me another biscuit.

"However, I think, in the case that Healing doesn't work out for you. Do you have any ideas of what you might like to do instead?"

I shook my head. A back up? I'd never even considered something other than Healing.

"Well, I believe you'd make a brilliant Auror. There's still a possibility they wouldn't accept you, but I think the ministry would be rather happy if they managed to get you on their side of the war. Think about it. The same subjects are required, bar Herbology."

An Auror? It wasn't a particularly appealing job. I wasn't _really_ violent. I know I could get so if provoked, but I was generally against that sort of thing. And I'd prefer to fix people rather than give them a reason to need to be fixed... Unless they really deserved it of course, like Malfoy. And occasionally James and Sirius. But it wouldn't be completely horrible. It'd be a sure way to fight against Voldemort too. And I had a more reasonable chance of getting accepted. Maybe I should change my aspirations?

"I'll think it over. And I'll lift my game in Potions too, I promise." I stood up and thanked McGonagall for the second option.

"I know you're going somewhere, Jaycee Aigleigh. You've got a lot of potential. Use it well." She said grimly as I shut the door. Again, that really did mean a lot to me. Knowing that I had someone influential on my side made it seem to me that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't going to end up selling potion ingredients for astronomical prices on the streets just to make enough for my next meal. But what did she mean by 'use it well?' I pushed these words to the back of my mind as I wondered how devastated I'd truly be if I wasn't accepted as a Healer. It wouldn't be the end of the world.

V V V V V V V V V V

"Jace? Where're you going?"

I jumped and spun around, coming face to face with Lily on her way down to study with Snivellus. I had almost made it out of the girls' dorms without anyone seeing me. Trust Lily.

"Oh I... uh... I'm going to see Remus." I improvised. Well... it wasn't strictly a lie. I _was_ going to see a part of Remus.

"I'm just headed to study with Sev, but I can pop down with you for a minute. I'd quite like to see how he's doing too." She smiled sincerely, showing off all 32 perfect teeth.

Shit. That wasn't supposed to happen. "Noo, it's fiiine." I waved my hand to emphasize how 'fine' it was. "You shouldn't keep Sniv- er- Snape waiting." And I shouldn't keep the boys waiting. It was getting pretty late and we had to beat the sunset.

"You sure?"

I nodded furiously, inching closer to the stairs.

"What's wrong with him anyway?" She asked, following me down the stairs.

"Pshh... oh... yeah, just one of those uh things going round the school. A cold! He has a cold." I invented.

"Colds are going around the school? I'll have to stock up on Vitamin pills. I'll stick it on my Hogsmeade list." She said thoughtfully

The Marauders were waiting by the portrait hole for me. I widened my eyes, telling them there was nothing I could do to shake her. She continued talking, oblivious.

"Alice and I are already going to the Apothecary. We're trying out that new potion? You know, the one that's meant to eliminate blackheads."

"Hey Lily-flower."

She ignored James' hopeful look. "Elise Davids from Hufflepuff says they're totally reliable, but Annabelle South from Ravenclaw said they made her breakouts even worse."

"That's great Lils. Pick me up some too. But we really need to get to Remus. We said we'd be there like 10 minutes ago." I hopped through the portrait hole after Peter.

"Oh yeah, and Sev's probably wondering where I am too. See you guys later!" She smiled again and headed in the opposite direction.

I sighed, relieved she'd finally gone so we could get on with the Animagi stuff. James was less relieved.

"Why's she hanging out with _Snivellus_? He's such a... slimy git! What does she SEE in him?" He groaned as we exited the school, heading towards the Whomping Willow.

"I dunno, Prongs..." Sirius said. He'd clearly given up on consoling James about Lily. I looked at the sky; it was a striking orange with pink cirrus clouds scuttling across. Stars had begun to appear opposite to where the sun was setting. We needed to move faster. Remus was surely already in the shack.

"Shut up, guys! Look," I whispered, putting my arm out to stop them from continuing. "It's Pomfrey. She's just dropped Remus off." We waited for Madam Pomfrey to return to the school before moving again. The moon was rising in the direction of the Great Lake. It was huge and yellow, like a werewolf's eye. The sky darkened quickly.

"Ok, move, hurry! Remus has probably already started changing." We raced towards the willow. Peter transformed as soon as we got there and dodged between the branches which were trying to crush him. He pressed all his weight against a knot in the trunk and the branches froze.

The rest of us changed as well. Sirius, now a shaggy black dog, slid down the hole at the base of the trunk, into the passage that would lead to the Shrieking Shack. James awkwardly followed. It was an effort to get his antlers down the small hole without getting stuck. I flew down after the two and Peter scuttled between James and Sirius' feet, moving agilely through the narrow tunnel. The tunnel was just too small for my wings to fit spread to their full span, so I was feeling very cramped by the time we finally made it to the shack.

I could hear the wolf's howls and a rip as something was torn into two. Snuffles and animalistic grunts followed. James cautiously poked the trapdoor open with his antlers, letting the rest of us squeeze through into the room. There was the wolf, 7 foot when standing to its full height, terrifying teeth dripping with saliva and yellow, soulless eyes. It growled when we entered, feeling threatened. James puffed out his chest and Sirius barred his teeth, both of them keeping the wolf in check. It whimpered and retreated into a corner. James was the alpha, being the largest. He tilted his head, instructing me to fly up the door and open the hatch. I did so.

James moved towards the now open door, Sirius and the wolf following behind. I flew ahead and Peter scampered after us. The wolf howled again, sensing freedom and made an attempt to escape. James rounded him back up with his antlers, whacking them into its chest. The wolf groaned with pain and meekly followed behind. It was soon anxious to leave the group once again though, as the four of them raced through the Forbidden Forest and I flew above. It was restless tonight, more restless than usual.

The werewolf was alright for most of the night, following us, occasionally getting out of control and having to be put back in its place. But until, I estimated, about 4am everything had been just a little more challenging than usual. It didn't particularly worry me. But I kept checking on the progress of the moon through the sky. Praying that the night would be over soon.

Suddenly, without warning, it snarled and flew at James, barring its teeth. James was backed against a tree, fear clear in his eyes. Sirius growled and sunk his teeth into its neck, trying to help James. It whipped its head around and flung Sirius off. He whined as he was whacked against a tree, blood matting his fur. The wolf was getting out of control and scratched at James' face, drawing blood. I flew down and swooped at its head, trying to deter it. But it didn't even notice me and sunk its teeth into James again. Sirius leapt on its back, tearing at its skin but to no avail, he was flung off once again, but this time he'd smacked his head against a rock and didn't get up again.

I was getting really scared. I didn't know what to do. I perched on a tree and scanned the area for Peter. He'd seemingly taken off when things had taken a turn for the worse. The little coward. I didn't really blame him though. I wanted to take off too, but knew if I disappeared too, James and Sirius would be left to their demise. I had to stay. But what could a bird that weighed less than 3kgs do against a 7 foot beast?

The wolf howled at the moon and tore at James' back, ripping the skin. Sirius was unconscious about 3 feet away, blood seeping into the dry ground.

It huffed and puffed as its power began to drain. I soared above the treetops to see if I had guessed the reason why. Yes. In the east, the sun was peeking up from beyond the horizon. Streams of light were cutting through the night sky. Finally. This night had been far too long. I dipped back and perched on my branch. The wolf was breathing heavily, whimpering and turning around and around. It lay on the ground and shivered, fighting to stay dominant. But as the sun began to rise, its features became less pronounced and it began to shrink to just under 6 feet. Hair receded and the teeth flattened out, becoming smaller. The eyes turned back to brown. I cooed with relief, the phoenix song filling the hours of the early morning. The golden light matched my golden eyes. The wolf was gone. Remus had returned.

I realized we had to move out fast. Madam Pomfrey would be coming to collect Remus from the shack very soon. I swooped down from my perch and transformed back. All three boys lay unconscious ground, two still in animal form. I cast the enchantment- removing spell and watched as the two of them became human once again. I levitated Remus and took him back to the shack, worried about Sirius and James still in the little clearing. Luckily, we hadn't gone too far last night. I left him on the floor, feeling bad, but knowing Madam Pomfrey'd be taking him back to school soon. And I had to get back to the others.

I felt a surge of anger at Peter for abandoning us, but squashed it quickly and Levitated both of the boys. It was quite a way back to the school but I trekked it out, ensuring both James and Sirius were alright. I'd healed most of their external wounds, but remembering my mother, knew I could do nothing about anything that may be internal.

We made it back not long after Remus. I was tired out from levitating both boys so far, but put on a brave face as I knocked on the Hospital Wing door, trying to sort my story out.

"Miss Aigleigh? What brings you here so early?" Madam Pomfrey was tying her apron on and looked surprised to see me.

"I woke early this morning and didn't know why. I thought I'd heard something in the common room, so I went down to check. They were just lying there, knocked out. I think they'd been doing some early practice for OWLs or something and a spell'd gone wrong." It seemed like a pretty solid story to me, but she looked suspicious. Even so, she took them off my hands and let me follow her in.

After she'd placed them in beds she gave me a quick check over to make sure I hadn't been affected by the 'spell.' Once assured that I was fine, she told me that I had to leave because her patients needed rest. I flat out refused. After a bit of a scuffle she reluctantly agreed to let me stay until they woke up. I pulled a chair between their two beds and rested there, trying not to fall asleep. Madam Pomfrey bustled back into her office, leaving the room quiet and peaceful. I noticed a bed with the curtains drawn. Suspecting it was Remus; I hopped out of my chair and headed over to see if he was ok. It had been a really bad moon.

I pulled the curtain back a little and peeked through. I hoped he wasn't too badly hurt. I also hoped like hell James and Sirius would be long gone by the time he did wake up. He'd never be able to live with himself knowing the wolf had hurt them.

What I saw behind the curtain, however, made my heart skip a beat. I whipped my head around the room, wondering where Remus had gone. I finally spotted him in the last bed; curled up so tiny that I hadn't noticed before.

The young, thin, blond woman sleeping in the bed I was standing at was cut and bruised just like Remus. She had bags under her eyes and a pale face just like Remus. And her ripped and tattered robes had risen up her leg just enough for me to see a crescent scar of teeth marks on her thigh. This woman was a werewolf... just like Remus.

But Remus wasn't the patient behind the curtain.

Professor Larson was.

**Whewwww! It's been a while, hasn't it! Sorry about that. I meant to update just before going on holiday, but somehow, with the madness of packing, it just never happened. But I've got a longer chapter here for you now as an apology. Hope you liked it and thanks for staying with me (I'm assuming you read the whole chapter and not just the authors note :P And I guess... if you didn't... Thanks for reading the A/N? Haha)**

**Hellfire Putten Ninja: tehe I feel like I'm in constant lazy mode at the moment! But anywoooo thanks for the review! And the kind words ^_^ haha**

**rhapsodieenbleu: DDDUUUDEE! I miss you so much! I'm fiiinaaalllllyyyy back. And guess what. We still haven't caught up. If I knew who to sue, I too, would call my very bestest lawyer :P Awww thanks bubbbyyyy 3 That's meant to be a love heart, but it probs looks like a three. FF failure. I don't remember when you wrote the review so idk if jordy (which I shall forever be calling him as his name is an English accent) if back from camp yet. For your sanity sakes, hope his is! Hahaaaa I kiiidddd you don't need no man! Thanks again for the review, see you soon!**

**LoneWolfPack: Thanks so much! From now on, hopefully updates will be coming thick and fast! Haha**

**disler: Thank youuuu! I couldn't leave that out! Haha it's my favourite part! Thanks again for revvvvvvviewing!**

**RMH RMH: Hey hey calm the farm! :P all in good time, my friend, all in good time. Missing you heaps and heaps and thanks for the review! (Don't forget to bring back some goldfish)**

**Luli Cullen: haha your review made me chuckle Hmmm... well... Sirius' head is rather far up there. I think it may take more convincing to get it out :P Nah I kid I kid. And thanks for reviewing!**

**.Black: You know what, I don't even have to check where the dots go in your penname anymore! That is the sign of a very loyal reviewer! :D Thank you muchly! OMG OMG OMG that's so exciting! Congratulations and good luck for the rest of college! I'm sure you'll do just as well though hahaha nice pun. I think I'll start offering Siriuslyproudofyou awards for people who come up with nice Sirius/serious puns! XD aww thanks, you liking my characters means a lot. And lol James. Not at all based off ignorant guys in my own life... not at allllll... hehe. Thanks again for the review :D**

**Harrypotterlover(we'll never remember the number lol): Aww thanks! Your review was so nice 3 (fail love heart beeteedubs) Pinkie promises! Sighhhhh childhood memories haha. I've been away for a while (obviously lol) so if you've updated or are getting there... TELL ME! XD me wants to knooowww! Thanks again for reviewing x**

**Midnightsnitch177: Thanks for reviewing! And sorry I'VE been away for so long haha, but I'm back now. I'll update super quick, I promise! **

**Anon1: haha you seem to share my exact feelings! I would happily take any of those three for the rest of my life *sighhh* Hunny, I'm afraid that award's going to have to go to me :P What do I do the second I get home from holiday with no internet? Check facebook? No way! Update my fanfiction! Haha and thanks for the review**

**thebritishone: I got sad when I read your review cause xmas is over Wahhhhhh! But it's awesome cause this was my first ever WHITE CHRISTMAS! XD XD Well... white day after Christmas lol. I think I'm going to have to try those if they're that good! Send me a recipe? :D OH LOL you make me laugh so much with that pairing idea. And gag a little. But yearhhhsssss... definitely the interesting pairing of the year. 2011, that is! Cause HAPPY NEW YEAR haha. Omg I totally get the humour there! Humourous... funny bone... it makes so much sense! I think we must have the same sense of humour xD cause I too lol-ed at James' failure to walk as a stag... ergo it became part of the story! Awks for me I read "your thank you song is AMAZING" and was like... amazing... what an interesting title for a song. I'll go look that up. :/ awwwwkkkwwaaaaard. Haha, I'll go look up the actual song! Thanks for the review!GGGGGGGGG**

**XxSiriuslyinluvxX: Thanks so much! That siriusly means a lot! Hehehe I crack myself up. This pun will never get old ^_^ As you can see by this chapter, I looooved the idea of the full moon thing. But reading it gave me another idea for the protectiveness part. You shallll seeee in the future! I promise I'll give a shout out when it's coming up Thanks again for the review! **

**Jaisler: Oh you'll see why she wasn't in there. ;) But you've probably already guessed haha. Thanks for reviewing **

**sexichick: thanks for the review, hopefully my chapter names will be a little more subtle from now on **

**ellabellabee: hahaha your reviews really brighten my day! As I said to thebritishone, FIRST WHITE CHRISTMAS FOR ME EVER! And let me tell you, it was amazing. (technically it was a white boxing day but it was STILL AMAZING) loooooooooool yeah I barely follow those rules too. *high five!* Merry Christmas to you tooooo! And a happy new year! Nooo problemo, it's nice to see people excited about my story I totally agree! You can't hold a grudge on Lily Evans! And thanks so much about what you said! It still leaves me a little speechless when people compliment my writing like that. Thank YOU for delivering a batch of wonderfulness! I love love love reading your reviews haha. Again, no problemo! As I said, I liked it a lot! Hahah more laughter from meeee about the pppppppppppppppps thing. Thanks again for reviewing! :D :D**

**LizziePixie-Aiko: I knoooowww right. I wanted her to be part of it too. But I also really wanted to keep her separate from the Marauders. I think it's pretty important she's not part of that. Especially as she's never mentioned in the books (lol cause I made her up a decade later) Thanks so much for the nice review! **

**Ivori: LOL you totally panicked me for a second there! But don't stress. It's chapter 31 Thanks for the review and the complimentssss!**

**NightHawk: WOW three reviews in a go! Thanks so much! Yaay so happy you're back! I missed your reviewing! Yeah, I know. She was a total jealous bum face. But no one's perfect. Oh yuck what an awful choice. I think I'd have to go with mouldy voldy too. She's a... lots of words I don't want to say haha. Awww thanks! Whenever someone says that about Sirius' character I think in my head "BAM! I DID IT! WOOOTTTTT!" so thank you for giving me that :D haha. And for the THREE nice reviews!**

**Guys I wasn't lying about the SiriuslyProudofYou award!Best Sirius/Serious gets the award! **


	37. The Bad Idea

Ch 37 The Bad Idea _January_

I gasped and stumbled backwards in shock, letting the curtain fall around the bed and conceal Professor Larson. It was all suddenly blindingly clear. Why she was so snappy yesterday. Why she had seemed so excited in her job last semester. This was probably the first job she'd been able to get since leaving school. Why she wore ragged clothes. Why she had wanted to speak with Remus after class yesterday. And, thinking about it, ever since she got here Remus had been staying back a lot in DADA for 'extra study.' She must have known from the beginning about his condition. Why had I not seen it before? It seemed so obvious now!

Sirius made a noise from his bed and rolled over.

"G-goldy?" He pushed himself up, breathing heavily, and rubbed his face. "What happened?"

Professor Larson was immediately shoved from my mind. I raced over to his bedside, eternally thankful he was alright.

"Sirius!" I flung my arms around him.

"Oh ow!" He groaned and pulled back.

"Ooops... sorry..." I awkwardly patted him on the foot and sat next to him on the bed. He tried to laugh, but Madam Pomfrey'd discovered a blood clot in his chest, so the action caused him to double over in pain, coughing. And he didn't stop. I thought he was going to die! I ran both hands through my hair, panicked

"What should I do! What should I dooo?" I looked frantically around for some potion to give him, finally discovering a Mercury-esque potion on the bedside table that claimed to break down clots in just hours. I hurriedly poured some into the goblet standing next to it and practically chucked it down his throat. His coughs turned to splutters as his breaths grew deeper.

"Thanks, Goldy." He said breathlessly.

"Oh my Merlin, I was so worried last night." I stifled a sob and resumed my position next to him on the bed. It was stupid, but I was on the brink of tears. Seeing two of my best friends be almost killed by my other best friend had been quite traumatizing.

He laced his fingers between mine. "Don't cry, Goldy. It's all ok, we're fine. We're fine."

I wiped my eyes with my other hand and smiled a little. "Yeah, I know. I'm being silly. I just hope... I hope Remus doesn't find out." I glanced at the bed in the far corner.

Sirius squeezed my hand gently and I lay back next to him. "He probably will find out. It doesn't seem like Prongs'll be waking up anytime soon. And, well... you just heard me. I'm probably going to need to stay a bit longer too. But he'll be fine. And it's just lucky nothing happened to you too or we'd all probably be dead right now."

"Merlin, don't even say that." I shut my eyes, like it would block out the possibility of losing them. He pulled me closer and wrapped an arm around me. I sighed, feeling safe again. I always felt safe in his arms. Like nothing could ever hurt me.

"Don't worry. We'll always be here. The five of us. You, me, Prongsie, Moony and Worms. Nothing will ever separate us. I promise." He whispered comfortingly.

"You can't promise something like that." I mumbled into his chest.

"Oh yes I can." He poked me in the ribs playfully. I squirmed away from him, giggling and sat up. He did too and faced me.

"In all seriousness-" He began.

I giggled. "Siriusness."

He beamed at me. "Yes! In all Siriusness. Because I'm Sirius. Not serious. Serious is boring. Sirius is a partaaay!" He tickled me again.

"Oi! If you didn't have a blood clot, I oath, I would hit you right now." I declared, looking at him grimly.

"I'll just have to use that to my advantage then." He grinned evilly and waggled his eyebrows seductively. "How far does this 'No Hitting Sirius' oath extend to?"

"Ew... Not that far." I scrunched up my nose, pretending I was really grossed out by his suggestion.

"Fiiiiine." He sighed dramatically. "I'll just have to woo you in other ways. Anyway, as I was saying. In all Siriusness, I swear on my life, nothing will ever separate the Marauders and Goldy. Nothing. You can quote me, ok?"

I smiled and gave him a gentle hug, not wanting a repeat of a while ago. "Thanks, Sirius."

When we separated, he looked around, as if finally noticing something. "Hey! Where's Worms? Shouldn't he be at our sick beds too?"

"Uh... well actually... he kinda disappeared once it started to get hairy..." I looked away.

"Huh?" Sirius looked surprised, to say the least. "He just left you to deal with the wolf _alone?_"

"Not exactly!" I backtracked, "I wasn't alone at that point. James was still conscious!" Merlin, Sirius was going to kill him.

"I can't believe it! That little-" His breath caught in his throat and he began coughing again. I grabbed the blood clot potion and skimmed over the instructions, not wanting to give him an overdose. There was nothing about taking too much, so I poured some more down his throat and waited for the coughing to subside.

"Thanks again. You're a life saver... literally!" He lay back in the bed, exhausted again. He shut his eyes and I quietly crept back to the chair, thinking he was trying to sleep.

After a while he spoke again, making me jump a little.

"Is that Moony behind the curtain?"

"Ah! I thought you were sleeping." I covered my heart with my hand. "But no, Remus is over in the corner, see."

He looked over to Remus' bed and then back to the curtained one. "So who's that?"

In a split second I made a decision. I couldn't tell him her secret. "Madam Pomfrey said it was some 7th year that got on the bad end of a dose of Polyjuice potion. She said to respect their privacy."

He looked around the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey was nowhere to be seen. He grinned. "Welll... she's not here right now... go pull the curtain back a bit! I want to see who it is."

"Uh... that's ok. I think we should listen to Pomfrey." I said.

"Oh come ooon! Don't be a wuss! No one'll ever know!" He begged.

"No, Sirius. It's dishonest and disrespectful to whoever it is." I said firmly. I felt a bit bad for being such a hypocrite, but something told me to keep this secret to myself.

"You're such a goody two shoes." He grumbled.

"Yeah yeah yeah." I said guiltily and looked over at James who was shifting in his bed. He groggily opened his eyes.

"JAMES!" I shrieked excitedly. Good timing.

"Uhhhhgggg... Everything hurts." He moaned.

"Prongsieeee!" Sirius rasped happily, not able to speak as loudly as he wanted.

"Paaaaads," James didn't sound quite as enthusiastic, but an exception could be given as he had just woken up after being unconscious for a few hours.

He looked around the room. "Where're Moony and Wormtail?"

"Remus is over there," I pointed to the bed, "and Peter..."

"Wormtail, the little coward, ditched Goldy last night when the wolf had gone wild. He's not here." Sirius growled.

"What?" James looked aghast and mumbled something inaudibly under his breath. Something I probably didn't want to hear anyway.

"I know right!" Sirius said and crossed his arms.

"Boys, you're awake. Excellent. Now Mr. Black, you'll be needing some De-Clotter for your chest and Mr. Potter-"

"Scuse me Madam Pomfrey, but I've already given Sirius some potion. He woke up and had a coughing fit and I saw it on the table." I said, thinking three doses of potion may be overdoing it just a little, despite the fact that there was no recommended dosage on the bottle.

Madam Pomfrey tutted. "You do realize it's against all sorts of school rules to administer medication to fellow students, Miss Aigleigh? If you had done it incorrectly, Mr. Black could have potentially become fatally ill."

"Oh!" I gasped. "Sorry, I just panicked." I glanced at Sirius. He was looking a little pale.

"That's alright, dear. He seems fine. You did a good job. Next time, just find me first, alright." She looked stern. I nodded quickly. "Now, I believe our deal was once they woke up, you would leave. You've already missed the beginning of breakfast! And these boys don't need you getting them all excited."

Sirius tried to contain a snigger. "You can get me 'excited' any day you like, Goldy." He whispered in my ear. I snorted with amusement, much to the horror of Madam Pomfrey and delight of Sirius.

"Ok, ok, I'm going!" I held my hands out defensively as she shooed me away. Sirius winked as I left and James had dived under the covers, trying not to laugh himself.

I heard Madam Pomfrey muttering about how little sense teenagers made these days and shut the Hospital Wing door with a giggle.

I made my way to the Great Hall, hoping Mary and the others were still down there. Halfway down, I heard footsteps behind me. I froze and spun around. Whoever it was had whisked away. The suit of armour about 10 metres away was wobbling a little.

"I know you're there!" I shouted, hopefully more confidently than I felt. "Come out!"

No one appeared. I crept over to the suit of armour and moved it aside with a bang.

"AH HA!"

"Stupefy!"

I ducked as the red spell shot out and hit a portrait. The subject of the painting froze with a look of utter disgust on his face.

"Protego!" I set up a defence. "Langlock! Locomotor Mortis!"

The person who was following me, whom I now recognized to be Snivellus, dodged both my spells.

"Sectum-"

As soon as I heard the first syllable out of his mouth, I knew exactly which spell he was attempting. Lily had told me he'd invented several spells. She said she really didn't like the idea of Sectumsempra, but as long as he didn't use it except in defence it wasn't really bad. But this wasn't in defence! This was an outright attack! And my protego would stand no chance against that kind of dark magic.

"PROTEGO HORRIBILIS!" I screamed, praying the spell Dumbledore had briefly mentioned once would work. The curse bounced off my shield, weakening it a lot, but not managing to break through. Thank Merlin.

Snape snarled as his curse fizzled out. 

_Elementium Tibio _I thought and shot the jelly legs curse at him. I smiled as I watched him wobble around. He hadn't seen that one coming. And just for good measure... _Furnunculus. _My smile grew as huge boils sprang up on his oily face.

"What the HELL, Snivellus?" I yelled, once I'd decided he'd suffered enough and freed him of the curses.

"I know where you were last night." He grunted, out of breath from wobbling around.

"SO? What's it to you?" I rolled my eyes and started to walk away. Bad idea. Suddenly I felt myself yanked into the air by my ankle and saw an angry Severus Snape, wand drawn, in my face.

"Don't think you can just get away with this. I know all about your precious Marauder secrets. And believe me when I say I'll find proof." He smirked and waved his wand menacingly.

"Let. Me. Down." I growled. I pointed my wand at his nose. Quite a feat for hanging upside down."Frangerio."

He howled in pain as the Levicorpus spell broke. Blood was streaming out of his now broken nose.

"You think you're so clever!" He yelled. "Well block this!" He shot a spell that I'd never heard of before at me. I ducked just in time as it skimmed over my head. He gasped and raced past me. I turned my head to see Lily, white as a ghost, eyes staring into nothing, being supported by Mary and Alice. The spell had hit her instead!

"Lily!" I rolled up off the floor and ran over to her. She wasn't moving. It didn't even look like she was breathing. Snape was beside himself. He looked near tears.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER!" Alice screeched.

"I-I didn't m-mean to. N-no. I'd n-never hurt Lily!" He reached out to grab her hand, but Alice and Mary angrily pushed him away.

"No. You MEANT to hit Jaycee!" Mary snapped, looking ready to kill.

"What's the counter-curse?" Alice asked icily. When he didn't reply she screamed, "I said. WHAT'S THE FUCKING COUNTER-CURSE?"

"I-I don't know." He stammered. "I have to go." And with that he ran away, towards the Slytherin common rooms.

I opened my mouth to say something, but found I couldn't speak. I was completely in shock. That curse had missed me by millimetres. And it had hit Lily instead. And we had no idea what had happened to her.

"Take her to the hospital wing." Someone said behind me. I spun around to see McGonagall. Her eyes were narrowed and her lips were pursed. "Take Miss Aigleigh with you. She needs something for shock. I'll go and sort him out."

She calmly headed in the way of the Slytherin common rooms. I felt a flash of satisfaction. Snivellus would be getting what he deserved, that was for sure. But it quickly faded as I looked at Lily's blank face.

V V V V V V V V V

"You again!" Madam Pomfey groaned as I walked, in a daze, back through the doors. "Ah, and here are the others. I've seen almost every single Gryffindor 5th year today. Just Pettrigrew now. Mhhmm! Here he is. That'd be the lot then" She muttered as Peter stumbled through the door.

"I h-heard the others were all d-down here so I came to..." He trailed off as he Sirius and James glaring.

"Oh I give up!" Madam Pomfrey threw her hands in the air. She looked at me. "Need a shock potion? What happened?" She asked wearily.

"Lily was hit with an unknown spell." Mary and Alice showed the nurse. She dropped the tray of potions for the mysterious person behind the curtain, who I knew to be Professor Larson.

"Oh my. This- This is serious. Put her in a bed, quickly. I may be able to help her. If I hurry." She rushed out of the room in search of potions.

They eased Lily onto a bed and sat beside her. Remus, now awake, had changed beds so he was next to his friends. All three of them looked at Lily in horror.

"What happened to her!" James asked, hopping out of bed. He tripped on his weak ankle as he raced across the aisle to her bedside. Sirius and Remus were close behind, along with Peter who awkwardly joined us.

"Snape happened." Alice said with a vengeance.

James' face darkened. "What'd the little bastard do? Why'd he hit _her_? I thought they were 'friends.'"

I was sitting on the bed next to Lily, apart from the circle, still in shock. "He meant to hit me."

"What?" Sirius spun around. James had grabbed Lily's limp hand and knelt beside her.

"He followed me from the hospital wing." I began. Mary and Remus sat on the end of my bed. He put his arm around her waist, comfortingly. She kissed him on the cheek. Alice sat on the end of Lily's bed, facing me. Peter shuffled his feet.

"I heard someone behind me and told them to show themselves. I found him and we had a bit of a duel. He tried to use Sectumsempra, but I blocked it. I thought I'd won after I broke his nose, but he shot some weird dark spell at me that I'd never heard before. Dolorosom? But I ducked. The spell must have... it must have hit Lily." I breathed deeply, shaking.

"He used Dolorosum?" Sirius widened his eyes and looked back at Lily worriedly.

"What _is _that curse?" James stroked her red hair out of her blank green eyes.

"It's really dark magic." Sirius sat on the table between Lily and my bed and took my hand, trying to soothe me. "It sends the victim into a perpetual nightmare. They can't wake up. It's like death, but worse, because you don't really die. You live in a nightmare until you actually do die. It's... horrible." He held my hand tighter.

"He tried to use that on Jaycee?" Alice asked, appalled. Sirius nodded grimly.

Madam Pomfrey bustled back in with about 60 different potions in her arms. "You, you and you!" She pointed to James, Remus and Sirius. "BED. And the rest of you. Move away, move away. Let me deal with my patient."

No one moved a muscle. A nerve in her forehead twitched, but she shook her head and cleared a path for herself. She flung a shock potion at Sirius to give me and began mixing all the other different potions together.

Sirius propped me up properly and sat next to me. He poured the correct amount in a spoon and let me drink it. I immediately felt the effects, my energy returning. I swung my legs around so I was wedged between Mary and Sirius, crossing my fingers that Lily would be alright.

James hadn't let go of her hand the whole time she'd been here. He looked pale as Madam Pomfrey opened Lily's mouth and forced the concoction down her neck. We waited with bated breath. Nothing happened. I noticed a tear on Mary's cheek. She buried her face in Remus' shoulder, trying to hide her tears. He rubbed her back, looking just as disappointed as she.

What were we going to do now? I looked at Sirius for an answer. He bit his lip and shrugged. Madam Pomfrey looked deep in thought. Suddenly she exclaimed and grabbed two different potions. She fed them to Lily and looked on anxiously. James looked up hopefully, gripping his beloved's hand tighter.

Lily blinked and sat up, screaming. James grabbed her arms. "Lily! Lily! What's wrong! Lily!"

She shook her head and screamed and screamed. Her pupils dilated with fear. We all looked at each other in terror. James pulled her into hug and stroked her hair.

"Shhh... Lily. Shhhhhh. I'm here. You're _here_. Not there." He soothed and whispered more comforting words in her ear. Lily's screams slowly, _eventually, _turned to whimpers as she began to calm down.

We all breathed a sigh of relief. Lily was ok.

"Where's that shock potion?" Madam Pomfrey snatched it out of Sirius' hands and gently eased some into Lily's mouth. She stopped shaking and breathed normally again after a few tense moments.  
>James let go of Lily and took a few steps back, knowing she'd hit him if she knew he'd been within a metre of her.<p>

"Who?" She asked softly, looking around, clearly aware of the spell that she'd been hit with.

"It was Snivellus!" James scoffed, still angry. We all nodded in unison.

"What?" Lily looked mad. I thought she was angry at Snape, but when she opened her mouth I realized it was us she was mad at. "You guys _have_ to leave him alone! I don't believe for a minute he would have done this! Why can't you accept that we're friends? Especially you, Potter." She turned to glare at James.

"Evans!" Sirius threw his hands up. "Listen to us! Why would we lie to you?"

"Oh, I don't know" she put her finger in her mouth, pretending to search for an answer, "because you HATE HIM?"

"Gryffindors! You really need to leave now. I've spent the whole morning looking after the likes of you! Now get out get out get out! Miss Evans, you may stay if you wish, but the rest of you are FINE!" Madam Pomfrey shooed us away, looking near breaking point. I thought it would be best not to push her any further and started moving towards the door. Lily didn't want to stay, so she followed us out too.

James and Sirius were deep in discussion about payback for Snape.

"I say we lock him in the girls' bathroom right before lunch again. Preferably in a tutu." Sirius suggested.

"No, we do that on a weekly basis. This has to be really bad! He hurt Lily." James growled.

"And he was aiming at Goldy." Sirius reminded him.

I cut in, "Guys, maybe you should just leave him alone. We're all fine now. No harm done."

"What?" They shouted.

"Goldy, he was trying to really hurt you!" Sirius shook his head. "I can't believe you're just going to let him off the hook like that!"

I sighed as I stepped through the portrait hole after Mary and Alice, "Fine. Just don't do anything stupid."

"I have an idea. Prongs, emergency Marauder meeting." Sirius clenched his teeth and followed me through.

V V V V V V V V V V V V

Lily was mad at everyone for blaming Snape, so she'd decided to go for a walk _alone._ We told her she was being dumb and should be studying, but she refused. She said she couldn't be bothered studying now anyway. The look in her eyes proved that really, she was finding it hard to let go of her nightmare and needed time to regain mental strength. But if it helped her to be pissed off, so be it. And with a flick of her red ponytail she stalked out of the common room.

Mary, Alice and I, unlike some of us, needed as much study time as we could get. We'd set up a little study circle on the rug by the fire and were going over our Transfiguration notes. McGonagall had set an enormous project that involved transfiguring an inanimate object to an animal of our choice. We'd just begun the topic of inanimate to animate, but I didn't think the project was too bad and had already managed to change a matchstick into a worm. But my goal was to, by the due date, change a pebble into a dolphin, one of the most complex mammals. Alice and Mary thought I was nuts and had settled on attempting much larger inanimate objects into rabbits, less complex (and cuter) mammals. However, they were still struggling with the concept.

"I give up!" Mary wailed and leaned back against the couch. "I'll never be able to do this!"

"Me either." Alice pushed her long, dark hair out of her face.

"Come on you guys! Don't give up!" I urged. "It's really easy!"

"Yeah, for you, Miss smarty pants Vigorater!" Mary complained. I rolled my eyes. She had a point though.

"Can we do the DADA essay? I'm only halfway through and it's due Friday!" She sat back up and closed her Transfiguration book. I pulled out my finished essay. I hadn't edited it yet, so I could do that while the other two wrote theirs.

But before I'd even checked the first sentence, Remus stormed down the stairs, looking absolutely livid. Sirius tumbled down the stairs after him, James and Peter awkwardly following.

"Moony! Listen to me! I'm sorry, ok!" Sirius yelled as Remus walked over to where we'd spread out across the common room.

"No, bloody hell, Padfoot, I can't believe you even suggested that. Just drop it ok." He plonked himself down next to Mary and glared into nothing.

"Prongs!" Sirius begged and swung his legs over the couch. "Tell him he's overreacting!"

"Pads... that was way over the line and you know it." James said simply. "Where'd Lily go?"

"She's having a moment. She went for a walk. Don't disturb her, she'll probably eat you." Alice replied, scribbling out a sentence. "Actually, can you guys shut up? We're trying to study here."

I raised an eyebrow at Sirius. He shook his head and didn't reply.

"I can shut up, if Padfoot over here is done with his Slytherin-esque suggestions." Remus mumbled. Mary gave him a worried look.

"Hey! That's not fair, it was just an idea!" Sirius shouted angrily.

"Yes actually, Sirius, it isn't fair! It isn't fair on me!" Remus shouted back.

"I'm SORRY for making a suggestion! This is SNAPE remember?"

"Yeah! You should be! And I can't believe you! I wouldn't wish THAT on my worst enemy!"

"Oh for the love of Merlin!" Alice screamed over the noise. She slammed her books shut. "I'm going to study with Frank."

"What happened?" I asked, at the end of my wits. No one answered. I huffed and closed my books too. "Fine. I'm going to look for Lily, she's been ages now anyway."

"I'll come." Mary said. Sirius and Remus were still glaring at each other as we left.

What had Sirius done now? I'd never seen Remus actually angry before. This was insane.

**OMG I apologize profusely! This is completely unacceptable, leaving such a long gap between updates! I deserve to be advada kedavra-ed. I was watching deathly hallows yesterday, and you know that part where Harry visits his parents grave? Well, it's never made me sad before, but seeing James Potter/Lily Potter written there I actually started crying cause I was thinking about my James and Lily. And that is what made me realize I needed to update haha. The end. As usual, reviews are generally lovely to read **

**After much deliberation, the winner of the IforgotwhatInamedit award iiiissssssssss... XxSiriuslyinluvxX for their hilarious pun of: "Jacob Black rides a motorcycle and turns into a dog... wow, siriusly original." *applause* **

**Noelle D: Thanks for the review! Lol funny story about here, she was going to be a guy, then I realized every single DADA teacher they'd had, had been a guy... actually... every single harry potter one was too... apart from umbridge. But she doesn't really count as human. **

**Jaisler: Happy New Year to you tooooo I knowwww! Stupid Remus, he's such a bum. But yes, after two years, they've finally gotten together haha. Thanks for reviewing!**

**thebritishone: Awww I hope you're not feeling too exhausted anymore. I know how much that sucks Thanks for reviewing despite that! Happy New Year to you too! OMG I LOVE THAT SONG. How amazing is Regina Spektor *love hearrrrtsss* And beeteedubs, still waiting for another chapter from you, my friend :P**

**Luli Cullen: Thanks so much And Jaycee can't heal internal wounds because to heal a Vigorater's light has to touch the wound so it can close. It's the same with her mum. She couldn't heal it because the light couldn't get through. After all, despite being her energy/soul/whatever you want to call it... it is just light. Thanks again for the review!**

**Girl-With-No-Name-x: haha finally right! And thanks so much for the very nice review :D**

**RMH RMH: Sorry I made you wait so long Thanks for reviewing, hope you liked the chapter!**

**XxSiriuslyinlovexX: Wowza! Thanks so much That really means a lot to me! And I hope you like the ending! Haha I've been going over it again and again working out plot kinks and hopefully hopefully it works well :D**

**rhapsodieenbleu: Lollllllzzzz British, the bum haha. Glad it's all good nooowww. He actually scared me so much on the phone. I was like in my mind: EMILY? DID YOU HAVE A SEX CHANGE? Anyyywoooo thanks for the review! I miss you so much duuuudeee and we STILL haven't done something looool. It's been like 3 months. Haha I thought that said "update soon or die" I was like... shiiiiit I'm screweeddd :P oh and they didn't beat up their teacher, she was somewhere else. They beat up Remus. Haha how awks if they'd beat up Professor Larson!**

**VictoriaWeasley: Thanks so much! Sorry it took so long You must update yours too! :D**

**harrypotterlover: Yeeahhh probably the worst time in the story to not update for ages at. Sozzzz about that one :P Thanks for the review! And ohh noo don't tickle me! I beg of you Dx**

**LizziePixie-Aiko: Thanks for reviewing :D I'll write quickly! (cough cough try to write quickly)**

**Night Hawk 97: I'm glad you're asking questions! She wasn't in the shack with them. Madam Pomfrey didn't want to risk either of their anonymity so Professor Larson went somewhere else. Possibly through the trapdoor on the third floor? Maybe somewhere else in hogsmeade. The room of requirement? Actually... that'd probably be pretty dangerous, maybe not there. Thanks for the review as well! **

**sexichick: Oh yeah, cliffies are the best, eh ;) Thanks for reviewing**

**ellabellabee: thanks, as usual, for your spiffing review! Isn't that a nice word? Spiffing! Actually, my computer says it isn't a word :/ awks for me. Hahah. Anywoos, I'm so happy you guessed! I was dropping little hints along the way, hoping someone would pick it up! I'm glad you had a good xmas! I totally understand your weather fiasco :/ the weather here isn't the greatest in the winter either. Rain rain rain rain rain. Hail. More rain. WIND. Lovely. Of course it's not odd! XD I enjoyed it muchly!LOL lily's a ginger biscuit tehe. **

**VampireGriffindorChick: Thanks for reviewing! I'll hurry up so you can have more! Haha **

**XxSiriuslyinluvxX: Why hello again! Haha! OMFG THAT IS BRILLIANT! I actually died with laughter reading that and then told all my family and friends. ..FRIEND.**

**Laura: Aw thanks so much, that's really nice I'm glad you like it!**

**PhoenixPatronus: It's fine! I'm glad you're back though! I'm soooo happy you're like it! I fell in love with it (ergo I wrote it lol) and I'm over the moon that others are too. Thanks for the review! And hahahaha nice pun! That's actually really good! :D**


	38. The Beginning of the End

Ch 38 The Beginning of the End _February_

Remus and Sirius literally hadn't spoken a word to each other all month. It was really dragging the rest of us down. James was torn between his two best friends. I felt really bad for him, actually. He would plan a new prank with Sirius one evening and Remus would huff and complain about how he was picking sides. Or he'd go with Rem to the library Saturday afternoon to "study" and then Sirius would be the one to act all hurt, like his best friend was abandoning him. It was the most irritating thing in the world.

Lily was still a little sore about how we'd all blamed Snivellus for her "accident." She didn't believe it had been him and when she asked him about it, the little bastard said he had no idea how it'd happened. But Lily, Alice, Mary and I were back to being inseparable. So it was ok that she was a little sensitive on the topic of a certain greasy haired Slytherin because nothing was going to ruin our friendship again.

The four of us girls had decided to take a break from the boys' drama and have, what Lily and Alice called, a pampering day. Mary and I were not ecstatic about the idea, but we both agreed that we needed some girl time and reluctantly consented.

Lily was sprawled across her bed, hair in a towel turban, wearing foam separators between her newly painted toenails, and reading this week's issue of Witch Weekly. Alice, we'd discovered, had a knack for painting elaborate nail designs. She was currently painting Mary's toenails, hers already done. I'd been given the simple job of heating up the wax so we could do our eyebrows later. Something I was dreading with every fibre of my being, but that Lily seemed rather blasé about.

"It's just like pulling off a plaster!" Lily had told me when she suggested the idea. I wasn't convinced. Alice said there was some magical potion you could use to fix eyebrows, but that it wasn't 100% guaranteed to work, so they stuck with the muggle treatment.

"This was a good idea." Mary sighed and lay back on her bed.

"Hey, stop moving!" Alice snapped and pumped some nail polish remover on a cotton swab. "You made me screw up the design. Now I have to start again!"

"Sorry, Al." Mary mumbled.

Lily let out a peal of laughter from across the room. "Jaycee! This is your quiz, alright!"

"What is it?" I asked, putting my Potions' book down.

"Jaycee! You're not studying?" Alice glared at me. "This room is a study-free zone today!"

I giggled, "Sorry. Ok, so what was the quiz?"

Lily bit her lip to contain a smirk. "It's callllllllllleddddddd... Drum roll please!"

Mary sat up and gave her a drum roll on the post of the bed.

"Is he more than just a friend?" She laughed and pulled a tongue at me.

Alice and Mary snickered. I chucked my pillow at Lily's head. "Oh shut up! You know full well that Sirius and I are-"

She cut me off and continued reading, "Is your BFF purely a platonic pal, or could he be a budding boyfriend? Question numero uno, when he's with his friends and sees you, he: a) nods and continues with his convo, b) always runs over to see how you are, or c) barely looks up."

"Oh definitely 'b'!" Alice squealed, abandoning Mary's toes for a minute.

I blushed and secretly admitted to myself that, yes, Sirius did that mostly always...

"Question 2!" She continued, sitting up. "You have been friends for a) a few weeks, you're still getting to know eachother, b) a few months, you're getting closer, or c) so long you barely remember how you met."

I sat up, spying a kind of hope. "I DEFINITELY remember how I met him!" I smiled confidently.

"Ok," Lily agreed, "why don't you tell us exactly how it happened?"

"Easy!" I said, "It was... in first year..."

All three of them raised their eyebrows.

"Yeeeeeees?" Mary asked, trying not to laugh out loud.

"On the first day..." I was struggling a bit. This was surprising even me! How did I not remember meeting Sirius? Was it on the train? Or maybe it was in the Great Hall? It may have even been in the station. Oh crap.

"A very obvious 'c,' methinks..." Lily pencilled the answer in. I groaned looked for my pillow to bury my head in, remembering that I'd chucked it at Lily. Just not my day.

She continued reading. "If you've had a bad day he will a) send you an owl saying 'cheer up', b) ask what happened and then change the subject or c) immediately floo to your house and spend the day hanging out."

"I don't know! Probably c..." I sighed. I was getting very sick of this quiz very quickly. But I should at least do him justice.

The others smiled knowingly and shot each other gleeful 'told you so' glances. I officially hate my friends.

"Oh okokokok here's a good one! This is for us, girls!" She shrieked with laughter again. "The rest of your friends think a) he's more into 'the game' than you, b) Enough is enough! It's time you two got together already! Or c) things are good the way they are- friendly."

All three of them screamed at the top of their lungs, completely in sync, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! IT'S TIME YOU TWO GOT TOGETHER ALREADY!"

By now I resembled an overripe tomato. Lily giggled and circled what I assumed was 'b.'

"Ok, one more. When it comes to dating other people, you guys a) confide in each other and ask the other's advice?"

I snorted with laughter at the very notion of Sirius asking my advice on how to handle all his conquests.

"Oi, shut up and listen to the question!" Lily shook the magazine in the air to get my attention. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, Lily dearest, continue please." I mockingly bowed my head.

"Anyway! b) get your info from other people or c) have a don't ask/don't tell policy- you don't like knowing the other is off limits." She read.

Mary raised her eyebrows. "Where's d) it's a fight to the death every time the female party even glances at another guy?"

This scored a round of giggles and a high five from Alice.

"Let's just say 'c.' It's close enough." Lily counted up my score. Once she was done she peeked over the top of the magazine, a wicked look in her eyes.

"What? What is it? Oh, just tell me before I throw the wax at you!" I said impatiently. I wanted this quiz over and done with. Alright, fine... I was a liiiiittle interested in the answer.

"You scored a 5/5 for perfect couple!" She yelled and threw the magazine at me so I could see for myself. I quickly scanned over the page. Oh Merlin's pants. She was right. There it was, in black and white. Well... actually... more like pink and purple, but whatever. I felt the familiar butterflies as I imagined Sirius and me as a couple. I couldn't help smiling to myself.

"Oooooh! I'm so telling Sirius!" Alice leapt up from the floor, sending the nail polish colours flying.

"I'm coming!" Lily pulled the seperators from her toes, stole the magazine back off me and followed her to the door.

"Me too!" Mary jumped off the bed, grabbed my arm and raced after them.

"What happened to a 'Girls only' day?" I yelled as we ran down the stairs.

"This is too damn funny not to share with the guys though!" Alice led the way up the boys' stairs and towards the fifth year dormitories. She banged on the door loudly. She received a muffled 'hang on a second, we're busy.' Mary shook her head and dragged me past Alice with her. She flung the door open and the four of us entered, one less willingly than the other three.

"What part of we're busy did you not-" James spun around from where he'd been standing in front of his seemingly locked closet , "Oh! Lily-petal! Hi!" His face melted from extreme annoyance to one of pure delight.

"Not here to see you, Potter." She said firmly. "Where's Black?"

James smirked and pointed to the closet. We girls looked at each other, confused.

"Why is he in there?" Mary asked slowly and cautiously.

"He's in there with your boyfriend." James replied nonchalantly, like two guys hanging out together in a closet was totally normal.

I raised an eyebrow and shook Mary's arm that had been restraining me off my own.

"Worms and I decided enough was enough." He gestured to Peter, who I only just noticed was sitting behind James' bed, next the closet. He had a cup pressed to the door, trying to decipher the muffled sounds coming from inside. "We locked them in there to talk it over and apologize."

"You know..." Lily said, curiously, "we never did find out what that fight was about."

James widened his eyes and looked at Peter. "Um... Lily-flower... it's probably best for everyone that... well... that you never do."

"Excuse me!" She put her hands on her hips and flicked her side fringe out of her eyes with a toss of her head.

But before she could go on I heard Remus yell from inside. "LET US OUT! WE LOVE EACHOTHER AGAIN! JUST LET US OUT! YOU'VE HAD US HERE FOR HOURS!"

Peter scuffled away from the closet and James muttered, "Alohamora."

The door clicked open and two very disgruntled boys emerged from inside. It was full moon again tonight. Poor Remus was looking worse for wear.

James grinned happily. "So you're friends again?"

"The best! He forgave me." Sirius beamed and lifted Remus off the floor in a hug. Rem weakly nodded, rolling his eyes.

"I may have overreacted a little, but Merlin, Prongs, some of your stuff could do with a very good, long clean." Remus crinkled his nose. "The smell is honestly appalling."

"GOLDY! HELLO!" Sirius noticed us and raced over to me. He squeezed the air out of my lungs with an enthusiastic hug.

I gasped for breath. "Hey Sirius... You know how breathing keeps me alive?"

"Uh huh?" He replied, but didn't let go.

"WELL CURRENTLY I'M HAVING A PROBLEM WITH THAT!" I yelled in his ear. He released me and chuckled.

"I do love you." He winked and then stuck out his tongue when I smacked him over the head as punishment for nearly suffocating me. "Oh and hi, everyone else."

"Feeling the love, Black." Mary muttered drily after giving Remus a quick kiss.

"OK! So... we decided to come and visit because we have something to show Black." Alice giggled.

"Just for the record, I was made to this against my will and dragged down here at near Avada Kedavra-point." I cut in, cheeks reddening a tinge. Lily rolled her eyes and handed him the magazine, turned to the quiz page.

"We made Jaycee do that quiz and guess what you scored?" She tittered. "PERFECT SCORE FOR A PERFECT COUPLE!"

The guys poured over the page, laughing to death at the result.

"We've all been telling you both for as long as I remember!" James poked Sirius in the stomach.

"Piss off... Me and Goldy are happy as is." He muttered and crossed his arms uncomfortably. James and Peter glanced at one another.

"I have a brilliant idea." James stated. "It's so brilliant it is sure to make brilliant things happen! All because I'm so brilliant for coming up with this brilliance."

"And, pray tell, what is this 'idea'?" Lily scorned. His smile grew and he nodded at Peter.

"GO!" James yelled and grabbed my wand. Peter, with the element of surprise, overpowered me and chucked me into James' closet. Sirius soon followed, thrown in by James and Remus once he'd realized what was going on.

"NOOOOO!" Sirius banged on the door furtively. "I JUST SPEND BLOODY 3 HOURS IN THIS CLOSET! LET MEEEEE OUTTTTTTTTT! HAVE MERCYYY!"

I joined in. "JAMES POTTER, LET US OUT THIS INSTANT! MARY! LILY! ALICE! ANYONE?"

I heard them in peals of laughter outside the closet and narrowed my eyes angrily. Oh would they be in for it once I was let out of here. Sirius huffed and sank down onto the floor. I did too. Lily yelled that they were heading out to lunch and when they got back they expected us to be a couple. Have I mentioned that I hate my friends?

"Well... hey there." Sirius said.

"Yo..." I replied.

"James is an evil bastard." Sirius complained and shifted around trying to get comfortable amongst shoes and... Merlin knows what else. "I've been in here half the day!"

"Um, excuse me? I've had to suffer through half a pampering day! And I was forced to do that stupid Witch Weekly quiz." I crossed my arms. At least I got out of the eyebrow wax.

Sirius laughed. "Sounds horrific!"

"You don't know the half of it..." I mumbled darkly. We sat silently for a few moments. The smell was beginning to get to me. What did James have in here? I moved around over shoes and clothes, trying to find a niche or something. Who'd have guessed sitting in a closet is uncomfortable?

"Hey... Goldy...?" Sirius finally asked.

"Mm?" I leaned against the back of the closet and put my feet on Sirius' lap. He picked one up and massaged it absent-mindedly. And wow, was that boy an excellent masseuse. I wanted to pack him away and take him out whenever I was stressing over OWLS, which was a lot lately.

"Um..." He began and sighed. "Nevermind."

"No, what?" I pressed. He couldn't just start a question and not finish it! I was interested now.

He didn't answer for a long time.

"Come ON! Just tell me already!" I bobbed up and down, still seated. In the dim light coming from the slits in the closet, I could see him grin a little.

"It's no big deal. I was just wondering if you'd found James' Quidditch socks yet."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah right, Sirius Black. Cut the crap and ask me what you were really going to." Then I paused, thought for a bit and added as an afterthought. "Out of curiosity... James' socks?"

Sirius snickered. "He doesn't ever wash his Quidditch socks. It's a luck thing, I think?"

"EWWW!" I shrieked and lept half a foot in the air, landing on top of Sirius and flung both arms around his neck, like he could protect me from the socks that I'm sure were walking on their own by now. He laughed louder and wrapped an arm around me so I wouldn't fall off.

"That's DISGUSTING!" I continued, mortified, "I wonder if Lily knows about that?"

"Why would Lily care?" Sirius asked and raised an eyebrow.

It was my turn to snicker. "You think she's completely immune to five years of constant perserverance? She's not completely heartless you know!"

Sirius grunted like he didn't quite believe my second statement. I playfully whacked him on the cheek.

"So... what you're saying is... she likes James?" He slowly caught on.

"Merlin, you're slow!" I shook my head and laughed. "But she doesn't know it yet, so shhhhh!"

We were both laughing stupidly when the door burst open. I immediately jumped off Sirius' lap.

"It's not what it looks like." We both pleaded, jokingly. But, to my surprise, no one even acknowledged our former position. Sirius must have also noticed the panicked look in everyone's eyes and wordlessly pulled me up with him.

"Jaycee... a letter arrived for you this morning, but you must have missed it." James spoke hoarsely and held out a black letter with decorative red vine patterns around it. I blinked, confused. Mouse knows if I'm not at breakfast to bring my letters to the dorm. Who could this be from if it wasn't Emily?

I reached out a hand to take the letter. Looking closer at the envelope, what had originally appeared to be red vines were now obviously something very different. Snakes. And not just any snakes. Dark Mark snakes. My stomach dropped like I had just fallen from 100 feet. I knew who this letter was from. And so did everyone else, clearly.

I looked around. What I had mistaken for panic was clearly fear. They were afraid. Afraid of what the letter held. So was I. Nothing left to do but open it.

Silence ensued as I broke the seal and pulled out a crisp sheet of paper. I scanned the letter. It seemed to be a sort of request to join the Death Eaters. The last sentence sent shivers down my spine.

_Failure to respond will result in dire consequences. You have been warned._

He was very bold, I'll give him that. Sending invitations to students to join his Death Eater party right under Dumbledore and the Ministry's nose.

"Well... what does it say?" Mary broke the deathly silence.

"It's... an invitation..." I muttered, still processing the threat at the end. I whipped my head up and spat, "He wants me to be a part of them."

Lily, Alice and Remus gasped. Peter sat down on the bed, looking weak. Sirius let out an involuntary hiss-like snarl. But James snatched the letter from my and read it himself. And then again.

"Merlin." He said softly, passing the letter to Sirius. "You have to tell Dumbledore. Now."

I nodded. "I know. Let's go. Let's go right this second."

I grabbed the letter back from Sirius' hand and led the way down the stairs. No one spoke. I noticed a few looks that passed between the others. They knew this was going to happen. How could it not? Why else would the Ministry be so terrified of me? Because they, like the rest of the wizarding world, knew this would happen. And they thought I'd say yes.

I banged loudly on Dumbledore's door. It had been a while since I'd been here. Lessons had sort of petered out. He was probably too busy, now that Voldemort was getting more and more powerful.

No answer.

I knocked harder. Lily huffed and joined me.

Suddenly the door clicked open, revealing a pale, worried and tired Dumbledore.

"I apologize, I fell asleep at my desk and missed your first knock. I've been awfully tired lately. Why don't you all come in and tell me what could have happened that earned me such a wake up call." He said with a smile. I tried to return it, but my face refused to move an inch from the stony, grim expression it was currently set in.

"I got a letter, sir." I managed to get out. "From...him. From Voldemort."

All traces of amusement washed from Dumbledore's face. He reached out immediately to take the letter from my hand. The eight of us stood back, huddled together.

Dumbledore sat at his desk and sighed. "I was very much afraid this would happen," he said almost to himself.

"What's Jace supposed to do?" Mary asked forcefully. "He said there'll be consequences if she doesn't reply. She can't ignore it."

I shook my head at her, unable to form words. Being rude wasn't going to help.

Dumbledore was silent for a moment. "I appreciate your concern for your friend, Mary, but there will be dire consequences no matter how we address this. I think... I think that it would be in the best interests of Jaycee to pretend like this letter never arrived."

"What!" Remus yelled. Sirius' jaw dropped. Mary and Alice looked at Dumbleodore incredulously.

"She can't!" James and Lily cried. Peter blinked rapidly, too afraid to speak back to the head.

"She must." He simply replied. "Answering no will only anger Voldemort. He'll see her as arrogant and cheeky. Replying yes is clearly not an option, unless I am mistaken. I will not tell you what to do Jaycee, I shall merely suggest."

"I'll never join him." I said loudly and calmly. I should be angry that he even considered me agreeing, but somehow, all I felt was fear. Fear that I really had no easy choice here. If I replied no, Voldemort would most definitely hunt me down and probably try to kill me. And if I didn't reply... well... I'd been warned. Something dreadful was sure to happen.

"Of course not. But I had to give you the option. Not replying, for the moment, seems your safest choice." Dumbledore looked at the letter once more. "Thank you for immediately notifying me. I'll attempt to trace the letter, though I doubt I'll get anywhere."

I nodded and thanked him for the help. The others grunted in acknowledgement and we left the office to return to the dorms. They formed a sort of protective barrier around me, like they could save me from Voldemort's wrath where the enchantments and professors couldn't. It still touched me though, that they cared so much about me.

We walked silently and slowly down the hallways, up the staircases. No one said anything until we reached the Great Hall. There, standing with Malfoy, Nott and Avery was Snivellus. I saw red and reached for my wand. James must have had a similar reaction because two curses were shot directly towards the group, no concern for the trouble we might receive if caught.

"What the HELL! Jaycee! Potter! For the last time LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily screamed at us and stepped forward.

"No, Lily, I won't leave him alone. Because he's a slimy, manipulative, lying, Slytherin, Death Eater!" I spat, more at the group of Slytherins than Lily. Unfortunately neither spell had hit Snape, but James' furnunculus had hit Nott. Boils were springing up all over his face. It made me smile.

Lily opened her mouth like she wanted to defend Snape, but he cut her off.

"You're more death eater than me, Vigorater." He sneered. But I definitely noticed his left arm twitch when I spoke.

"You going to accept you little club invitation?" Malfoy stepped forward, eyes flashing.

I thought quickly. Better to deny all knowledge of the letter. Plus, Malfoy had just completely reiterated the fact that he was indeed a Death Eater. How else could he have known about the letter? But this small victory only made me feel much, much worse.

"I don't know what you're talking about, but if you fancy the idea of keeping your nose attached to your face, STOP talking NOW." I pushed Lily aside and pressed my wand into his nose.

"Ooh I'm so scared." Malfoy mocked.

"You should be!" Sirius stepped forward, wand raised. The others close behind, Peter a little more tentatively.

I glanced at Snape, he was muttering a curse under his breath that sounded an awful lot like Sectumsempra. I ducked and it narrowly missed me, skimming by Remus' ear.

"You think you're so clever and powerful." Snape yelled at me. "But you're nothing more than a pathetic, weak, monster with nothing going for you, half-breed-mudblood."

His words slid off me like water off a duck's back, but Sirius had taken them a lot more personally. He said nothing, but something in his eyes scared me. It didn't look like my Sirius.

"That's it!" I heard a shout from behind. Flitwick. "Break it up! Detention for all of you. No fighting in the hallways!" He shooed us away, fervently. I didn't hesitate to comply, following Lily back to the dorm. Something was wrong. Sirius had never looked like that before. He almost looked evil. And it terrified me.

V V V V V V V V V V V

James sent a first year girl up to call me down when he was about to leave for the full moon. I left the Potions study session we were trying to have, thankfully. No one was doing much studying, all focused on the letter and the fight.

"I'm ready," I breathed, a little out of breath. I was mentally exhausted from the day's events, but I wasn't about to share that with James and Peter, who were waiting for me.

"You okay, Jace?" He asked, concerned.

"Yeah, come on we're really late. Where's Sirius?" I asked. A rumble of thunder sounded far away. A distant storm.

"Jaycee," James began warily, ignoring my question. "I don't think you should come out tonight."

My mouth hung open. "WHAT? Of course I'm coming! I'm FINE."

"You are not fine. This would definitely put a lot of strain on you. Just take a break for ONE night, ok." James said, exasperated.

"You must be joking. Remus is one of my BEST FRIENDS. He was my first friend! I'm not abandoning him now!" I hissed, trying not to let the whole common room overhear me.

"I can't tell you what to do, but I really think you should stay in tonight. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. Seriously!"

I quickly changed the topic. "On the topic of seriousness. Again, where is Sirius?"

"He said he was just going to talk to-" Suddenly James stopped. His eyes widened as if understanding something and he got a distant look in his eyes for a moment.

"What? WHAT?" I shook his shoulder. "Where is he?"

"He's. Fuck. He's done something really," pause "really," pause "stupid." James spoke slowly, coming out of a trance. Then he took off, sprinting out of the common room faster than I'd ever seen him run, leaving Peter and me alone.

"Peter, you better answer me right now. What's going on?" I said angrily.

"I-I don't know." He said, shakily. "Sirius went to talk with Sna-ivellus. And I d-don't know."

Sirius went to talk to Snape? Right before we were meant to get Remus? What the hell? Whatever he had to say must have been really really important. And then the penny dropped. Remus' anger at Sirius for a suggestion of a way to get back at Snape. The look in Sirius' eyes this afternoon. The fact that he didn't fight Snape after he said what he did. His sudden need to talk to him right before we left for the moon. James' panic and the fact that Sirius had 'done something really really stupid.'

I knew what Sirius had done. Another crack of thunder, closer this time.

"Peter we need to get to the Willow NOW!" I yelled and raced out the portrait hole. Peter, clearly confused, followed clumsily behind me.

Oh MERLIN how could he have been so STUPID. WHAT was he thinking! If I was right, this was deadly serious. No joke. No pun intended.

We ran as fast as we could down to the Whomping Willow, where I was sure James had been headed for. As we stepped outside a freezing cold gale whipped my hair around my face and nearly caused me to fall. But I was right. We got there, out of breath, panting, just in time to see James in his human form dive down the tunnel. But where was Sirius? I searched the grounds, squinting. Where could he be?

There. I spotted him, pale as a ghost, eyes wide, just short of the Willow, sitting up a tree. Clinging on to a precariously swaying tree branch like his life depended on it. Judging by the strength of the wind, it probably did. He'd just seen James race down the passageway, human, after who I assumed was Snape. I dragged Peter to where Sirius was.

"SIRIUS BLACK!" I screamed over the storm that was approaching quickly now, shaking with rage. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN HAVE YOU DONE!" My throat was raw from screaming, but Sirius acted as if he hadn't heard me. The moon was completely covered by black clouds. No stars tonight.

He slid down the tree and raced towards the passageway, trying to avoid the braches. And failed. He was whacked across the face and flung 10 feet backwards.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Oh my merlin, I'm so sorry." He looked at me insanely, shaking wish cold and fear. Large rain droplets began to fall, chilling me to the bone. It was snap freezing tonight. Snow had turned to slush the previous week. The raindrops were like bullets, making holes in the ground as they hit with such force.

I heard a howl from far away and a faint scream. My heart skipped a beat and I forgot how to breathe.

"What have I done!" Sirius yelled and tried to get to the passageway again. He was hit in the stomach this time by the flailing branches and was winded. The moon's eerie light surrounded one of the clouds like a yellow halo. The wind howled, muting Sirius' voice.

"WHAT HAVE I DONE!" He yelled again, almost beside himself, shaking uncontrollably.

"I DON'T KNOW SIRIUS! What HAVE you done." I screamed at him, unable to control my anger. This was too much. This was too much. I, too, was shivering. My toes were numbing as I realized I'd forgotten shoes. But right now that didn't matter.

Finally I heard something coming from the passageway. It was a low, whimpering. Like someone had lost their mind. Intensified by the break in the storm. James appeared, dragging Snape behind him. Snape's eyes were wide and his face was frozen in an expression of terror. But other than that, he was unharmed. James, however, had three lines cut deeply across his face. Blood washed down his neck by the ice cold rain and staining his shirt.

I let out a cry of relief and raced towards them. Finding a long stick on the ground, I poked the knot, freezing the tree so they could escape. James dropped Snape by my feet.

"Where is he?" He asked hoarsely. I mutely pointed to where Sirius had collapsed, so wracked with guilt, on the ground. James hollered something lost to a fresh gust of wind and ran over to him. He lifted his arm high and punched Sirius with all his might in the face, forgetting that he was a wizard and could use magic. Forgetting everything except the fact that this was the reason he had almost died. That this was the reason Remus' secret was now at risk.

"JAMES NO!" I shrieked and sprinted over, fighting the howling gale the whole way. "PETER! Get Snape to the hospital wing!" I yelled over my shoulder. Peter, drenched, who had been frozen in shock until now, suddenly nodded and levitated a still completely terrified Snape.

James lifted his fist again. Sirius flinched, but I caught his arm before he connected.

"JAMES YOU CAN'T!" I screeched over the howls.

"WHY NOT!" He glared at me, inhumanely. "That's just so TYPICAL! You, siding with HIM"

"NO JAMES! I'm not siding with anyone! But you can't KILL him! He's your BEST FRIEND!" I desperately pleaded, Sirius' nose was a scarlet fountain, mixed with rain water, but he hadn't done anything to defend himself. Either he was too far gone with guilt... or he knew he'd deserved it. The world lit up in a flash of lighting. I blinked, dots swimming across my vision. A roar of thunder almost deafened me. And the rain did not cease.

What James said next, was lost in a combination of the Whomping Willow missing our party by an inch as it whacked the ground, and the continuous storm. But it looked like his lips had mutely formed the words:

"This is not my best friend."

**Sirius sure has done something rather rash hasn't he? If only he'd think more before making impulsive decisions. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. And please remember to review! **

**Night Hawk 97: Youuuuuu guessed it! Congrats! :D *round of applause* That always makes me think of applesauce... hmmm... ANYWAY moving on! Thanks for the super nice review! **

**XxSiriuslyinluvxX: Oh you crack me up! Even your penname is a pun! Puns are, without a doubt, the highest form of humor possible! To me at least. You can always get me with a good play on words :D My favourite is, I watched a theatrical performance on puns... it was really just a play on words. XD XD XD XD Thanks for the review as well!**

**Luli Cullen: Ta for reviewing! Hope you weren't disappointed **

**Jaisler: Thanks! Haha I actually put way too much time and effort into spells lol. Number 3 spot on my most used websites (after fanfiction and facebook of course tehe) is English to latin translator. And that is officially when you know you have no life! Haha! Thanks for reviewing :D**

**Girl-With-No-Name- x: Oh how I long for them to exist! :'( That would make my life. And if transhumanism ever pans out (look it up, seriously scary shit—alliteration XD)... my equivalent to a second and third life as well! Thanks for the review as well! **

**Nemo-chan: Hell yeahs Remus is angry. This is a sirius state of affairs! Hahahahaa ok... that's done. Sorry, I've had way too much caffeine. Thanks for reviewing! **

**lovehorses13: Thanks! That truly means a lot! Hope you like this chappie too!**

**RMH RMH: Patience is a virtue, my dear :P Thankss for reviewing as well! Make sure you look at Morals too! I expect a tribute. **

**ellabellabee: Spiffing of you to review! Oh I could just use that word all day :') hahaha I totally used the word proclaim in chapter 40! It too, is a magnificent word! SNAPE _IS_ AN UTTER SLIMEBALL! I agree! I was most upset when he cursed poor Lilykins. Of course, it was me that made him do that... but no matter! It's still his fault! Hope you liked the chapter! Just wanted to tell you, you're actually one of my favourite reviewers! I love reading them! They're so funny and long and interesting! **

**thebritishone: Another of my favourite reviewers! :D It's been six days, missy. I'm expecting an update tomorrow :( *glares* haha just kidding. Take your time! Perfect it! Be an ARTIST! :D Thanks for reviewing! On the topic of Watson and Sherlock, did you know Sherlock actually never had the hat in the books? They were just drawn in the cartoons! :O SCANDAL! Also he NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson" in the books either! Just some random Sherlock knowledge right there. Lol Mary and Remus happened in 36. Don't stress, I didn't put a huge scene in about it... probs should have, thinking about it. OMG you love the wombats tooooo? They're the best, hey! I personally prefer their newer album. Love love love Tokyo. Also, take a look at the band Simple Plan if you don't already know them. I adore Perfect and Welcome to my Life. **

**harrypotterlover: oh nooo! I'm sorry! I hope this chapter was more gripping ! And yeah, I know they're getting a bit perfect. But, I just wanted to point out one thing. He hasn't risked his life for hers. It was the other way around. And it wasn't really risking her life, it was more just doing to decent thing and making sure they went to the hospital wing. Thanks for the constructive criticism though! It's always good to improve This, and of course the coming after-OWL Snape attack will definitely not put Sirius in a good light. And, as always, thanks for the review! :D**


	39. The Spring

Ch 39 The Spring _May_

"This is getting ridiculous..." I mumbled under my breath to an eyebrowless James. He sniffed and said nothing, continuing to stir what used to be an O worthy potion. That is, until it was my turn to add some ingredients.

"Oh, Jace, you'll get the hang of it eventually." He sighed and attempted to fix our now failing potion and his eyebrows. I narrowed my eyes.

"That's not what I was talking about and you damn well know it, James Potter." I hissed, trying to keep my voice down so not to aggravate Slughorn anymore than he already was.

Now that Mary was sitting next to Remus in Potions, there were TWO frequently exploding cauldrons in every class rather than the previous ONE. James had refused to sit with Sirius after what happened in February. In fact, he refused to have anything to do with him. So he'd relocated next to me... bad move, Potter. Bad move.

"It's been THREE months! Do you not realize how just how much effort it takes for him to apologize? And he's only done it... oh I don't know? Over 20000 times now!" I shook my fringe out of my eyes and scowled at my Potions partner. Said partner shrugged calmly and added some boomslang skin to the mixture.

"James!" I hissed again. "I'm dead serious. Listen to me."

"You know what, Jaycee." He snapped his head up, eyes flashing angrily. "I don't want to talk about this right now."

I blinked. How dare he snap at me! The toerag.

"Miss Evans and Mr Snape! A spectacular potion, once again, my dears!" Slughorn peered over Lily and Snape's cauldron and grinned with delight. Snape grunted and continued to stir the potion while Lily blushed deep red and beamed. I glared into my own cauldron. I was never going to get all O's on my OWLS and NEWTS if Potions was a required subject. Looks like I'd never be a Healer. It just wasn't FAIR, I was trying so hard! And Lily didn't even try at all!

"Mr. Potter, I must say, you _have_ been slipping in the last few months." Slughorn frowned slightly as he took a glance at, not a bone regrowth potion, but a 'would probably kill the drinker in two seconds flat' potion.

"You have had a bit of a hindrance, however. I will take that into consideration." He glanced at me and quickly moved on to Mary and Remus' potion, like he thought I might light him on fire if he stayed longer. I growled under my breath. It wasn't a bad idea, really.

I looked at James, who was furiously crushing mandrake leaves. He and Sirius used to be two of the best in the class. They used to be two of the best of friends, too. Though I was in no way happy about what Sirius did, I was starting to feel a little sorry for him. He was alone all the time now. Remus and Peter, too, had nothing to say to him. I must admit, for the first few weeks I was so angry with him _I _froze him out as well. But I saw how truly sorry he was for his huge mistake. How much he needed the others in his life. I knew he was feeling unbearably lonely without his Marauders. I knew this because I'd felt the same way when Lily and Alice had frozen me out. It hurt. It wasn't nice at all.

The bell rang; ending our class and James scooped up his materials immediately and stormed out of the room. I stuck my tongue out at his back.

"Very mature." I heard Mary giggle behind me. Remus, ever the gentleman, was carrying her books. Now why couldn't I find someone like that?

"Oh shut up." I grumbled. "I just wish he'd get off his high horse and speak to Sirius again. You too, Rem." I picked up my stuff and the three of us made our way to the door.

Remus opened his mouth indignantly, but I cut him off. "I know what he did was bad! Terrible, in fact. But can't you see he's miserable? And he's SO sorry. Can't you see that?"

Remus breathed out and just shook his head.

"Jaycee, Remus, I'm going to ask this one more time." Mary stated plainly. "What did he do?"

The girls were a little pissed off that no one was telling them what Sirius had done that was so bad none of his friends were speaking to him. So bad, he'd started sleeping in the common room, bathrooms, hallways, broom cupboards to avoid them, much to the disdain of Filch.

"Mary..." I began impatiently, I'd told her this so many times. "I really want to tell you, but too many people's secrets are involved."

"Fine." She huffed. "I see. Come on, we're going to be late for History of Magic."

V V V V V V V V V V V

_I was running. Fast. There was something chasing me. I had no idea what, but I knew that if I stopped, whatever it was would definitely get me. The problem was. I couldn't see where I was running to. It was pitch black where ever I was. But I kept going, knowing that there was every chance I was about to hit a dead end. _

_The thing was gaining on me. I could hear its footsteps getting closer. And then the world exploded into golden light, like the sun had just risen. I blinked, unnerved, as I recognized where I was. It was the Great Hall, only there were no house tables or anything. And it seemed to carry on forever. I stumbled, confused, but kept running. I glanced back to see what was following me. It was a someone, I noticed. A person cloaked in black robes. Even their face was completely covered. _

_Voldemort, I realized in terror. He was coming for me. Suddenly, up ahead, I saw where the hall ended. A brick wall. It was looming closer and closer. I could just make out James and Remus. They were standing on either side of the massive brick wall, waiting, it seemed. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't turn around! Voldemort would get me. But I couldn't keep going, or I'd run headfirst into a wall. _

"_JAMES!" I screamed. "REMUS! HELP ME!" _

_I delved around for my wand, but it wasn't there. Where was it? I ALWAYS had my wand. I glanced up to see it stuck inside of one of the bricks at the top of the gigantic wall. Half of it was sticking out, like a handle. But it was at least 40 feet in the air. I couldn't reach it. It was an impossible feat. _

"_JAMES PLEASE! REMUS HELP ME!" I screamed again, beginning to sob as I could no longer run. I flattened myself against the wall, hoping I could sink through it. _

_They didn't say anything. Instead, they turned around and began to fade away. _

"_NO! COME BACK!" I yelled, knowing it was no use. Voldemort was right in front of me. All I could see were his cold, soulless blue eyes. _

"_What are you going to do now, half-breed?" He shrieked in his high pitched voice and raised his arm like he was about to strike me. I couldn't see his hand or his wand because his sleeves were so long, but I assumed he was about to kill me. _

_Suddenly, with the hand not raised, he pulled his hood down. The sleeve of the other arm simultaneously slipped down. There was no wand in the hand which was clenched into a fist. _

_My heart skipped a beat as I realized Voldemort didn't have blue eyes. Voldemort's eyes were red. _

_It wasn't Voldemort under the cloak. It was my father. _

CRACK!

I awoke with a jolt, shaking. A page of the open Potions book I'd been using as a pillow ripped as I sat up. I'd had the dream again. It was a recurring nightmare, being pursued by Voldemort who turned out to be my father. James and Remus were new though.

"Bugger." I mumbled and tried to remove the page from my cheek. It took a lot longer than it should've because my hands were so wobbly. More wobbly than usual, at least. They shook all the time now, but that was because of all the energy booster spells I'd been using to keep myself awake enough to study as of late. What time was it? The fire had burned down to glowing embers and the moon was well on its journey across the sky.

And, more importantly, what had woken me up?

I glanced around the common room. No one. Sirius wasn't sleeping in here tonight. That's the reason I'd decided to get some late night OWL cramming in. Unfortunately I fell asleep around 11. Most people had seriously begun stressing over OWLS. Of course Lily wasn't even breaking a sweat. And I don't think I'd seen James open a book for weeks. However, normal people like me needed all the help they could get. Prefects were on the warpath for shoddy brain enhancers, like Gordon Phonce's dragon claw powder, that secretly, I believed was moonlighting as crushed red cap doodoo. There were at least two breakdowns a week, these days. Just yesterday, Alice had to leave Charms because she'd worked herself into such a state over not being able to perform a cheering charm. In a one hour lesson, she'd convinced herself that this charm was the make or break for a career as an Auror.

Me? I was past the point of caring about my health. Sleeping and eating took a backseat to studying. If I didn't ace these exams... I didn't even want to think about the consequences. Straight O's. That's what McGonagall asked for. And by Merlin she was going to get it. At whatever the costs. I'd paid about 30 visits this week to the kitchens for my hourly cup of double strength coffee. Lily said I was majorly over stressed. She kept trying to get me to have more to eat than a cup of coffee for meals. She told me over and over again that using energy boosting spells instead of sleeping and eating when I was tired was not going to help much in the long run. But I refused to listen. So what if I'd lost a bit of weight. I probably needed to anyway. So what if I was a bit paler than usual, or if my hands shook a little. It was NOT a big deal.

"Pssst." I heard behind me. I spun around in my chair faster than lightning, eyes wild, searching for dad or Voldemort.

"Miss Jaycee?"

It was just Nell, the house elf. I wiped my hands on my pants. That elf had frightened the begeezers out of me.

"Merlin's saggy balls, Nell, don't sneak up on me like that!" I exclaimed under my breath.

"Me is sorry, Miss Jaycee." Nell said apologetically, "But Mr Dumblydore says it is being most important that Nell delivers this note to Miss Jaycee, he says."

"Dumbledore? Oh good job, Nell! You're a legend!" I grinned. Could it be that he was finally arranging another meeting? If so, why was he sending house elves to deliver the news?

"Yes, Missus. Here it is." She proudly held out the letter. I took it and quickly unfurled the scroll.

"Is you needing anything else, Miss Jaycee? Nell would be most happy to help you." She squeaked.

I shook my head. "No thanks, Nelly. I'll probably be down tomorrow, though. Thanks again for this." I gestured to the letter. She nodded and with a CRACK, disappeared. It dawned on me that Nell appearing was probably what had woken me up.

I quickly scanned the letter, heart fluttering, praying that nothing bad had happened. There were three words neatly written in Dumbledore's curly penmanship.

_Now. Liquorice allsorts. _

Now? Surely he didn't mean... now! I glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece behind me. 1:00am. You've got to be joking. Dumbledore wanted to meet with me now? I huffed and pushed back my chair. My clothes, that a few months ago had been snug, hung loosely in all the wrong places. Maybe Lily was right...

No matter, I made my way across the school to Dumbledore's office, gave the password (obviously Liquorice allsorts) and hurried up the elegant staircase. I knocked quietly.

"Come in." Dumbledore spoke. I stepped through the door. All the portraits were fast asleep. Nigellus Black was muttering to himself.

"Morning, sir." I mumbled and took my usual seat in front of his desk.

"I apologize about waking you so early, Jaycee, but it is imperative that we discuss this now; when I know no one is listening." He said gravely. I perked up. No one listening? What did that mean?

When I asked this, Dumbledore pulled a large sneakoscope out of his desk.

"I trust you know what this is?" When I nodded he continued, "well then we both know for the moment, that we are safe to discuss whatever we need."

"Sir, I don't quite understand. What do you mean someone's listening in?" I asked again.

"Do you remember last semester, I think it was, you suspected Mr. Malfoy of knowing your secret? This is the reason we haven't been able to meet for a very long time." He stated. I nodded slowly, piecing things together.

"He was listening in at the door!" I exclaimed, aghast. How dare he! That little bastard. Oh I sure as hell was going to make him pay. "How much do you think he knows?"

"I am of the opinion he only began working for Voldemort this year. I also do not think he has been listening for every meeting. It is the fact that the Prophet article doesn't include information of your Animagus that leads me to believe he must not know about that, luckily for you. It may be useful to have a place to hide years from now." Dumbledore poked a silver instrument sitting on his desk. It started spinning and letting off golden smoke.

"Yes," he continued, "it may be the difference between life and death to have a hiding place later down the track."

I gulped. That didn't sound too pleasant.

"What are we going to do, sir?" I asked, worried this meant our meetings would have to stop.

"Be far more cautious." He said simply. "Now, seeing as we have such a perfect opportunity, I want to teach you something new. Are you familiar with the term avadae vindica?"

I sat up straighter in my chair. I loved it when we got to learn cool new defensive magic. 3am or not. "No, but Avadae, sounds a lot like Avada... Avada Kedavra, that is." I mused.

"Right you are, Jaycee! Avadae vindica is rarely used today and is seen as a myth because the population of Vigoraters in the world is so few and far between, no one has ever seen is done before." He reached behind him and pulled a large book called Fabulis et Legendas: (IX) BC- Anno MDCCLIV from off the shelf there and opened it to near the end.

"Sir... it's in Latin..." I stated very obviously. He ignored me

"Ah, here it is. Avadae Vindica." He pushed his half-moon glasses up his nose and translated for me. "Basically, what is it saying is that you, a Vigorater, have the power to create a shield with your light, for want of a better word, any size and shape you wish. This shield can protect those who stand behind it from Avada Kedavra, but-"

"ARE YOU SERIOUS!" I cut him off excitedly and leapt up from my chair. I could protect everyone I loved from Avada Kevadra! It was too good to be true!

"But, Jaycee... it could easily result in your death." He said calmly. My bubble popped.

"Oh..." Damn it. So close. So damn close. "Well, you said 'could.' Maybe it wouldn't!"

"I've done some more reading about Avadae Vindica and I've discovered that the risk is much less if you take it little by little. But, Jaycee, don't get your hopes up... I'm not convinced that this is more than a mere myth yet."

Like I wasn't getting my hopes up. They were so far up; I could no longer see them from down here.

"Shall we try it?" He asked and gestured for me to stand. I nodded vigorously and took my place in the centre of the circular room. "First, try to form the light over your whole body at once."

I took a deep breath and shut my eyes. This was definitely going to be a challenge. But before I could begin, I heard a BOOM and an ear splitting shriek from what must be just down the hall. Dumbledore and I simultaneously raced towards the door and down the stairs. Who had screamed? What was going on? I prayed with every atom of my being that it wasn't Mary or Lily or Alice, or any of the Marauders. Please. Please don't let it be one of them.

A pyjama-clad crowd was gathered in the hallway that housed the Gryffindor common room. Students were panicking, all trying to help whoever was in the middle of the circle, but it seemed that no one knew what to do. Suddenly the crowd noticed that Dumbledore had arrived. They parted like the red sea, worriedly glancing from the middle back to Dumbledore. I pushed my way through after. Please please please. Please let them be alright. But when I saw who was lying in the middle of the crowd, convulsing, eyes rolling in her head, moaning softly, I knew my pleas had been for nothing.

It was Mary.

It was Mary! What had happened to her? I wanted to scream. I wanted to force an answer from the crowd of students. But nothing came out of my mouth. I was frozen in shock.

Dumbledore was less in shock. He asked very calmly and plainly, "Did anyone see what happened here?"

"It was a Slytherin. He was tall with dark hair and a scar across his mouth. I think he was a fifth year. I saw him running away." A first year Gryffindor girl from the front suddenly spoke, stuttering a little. There was only one fifth year Slytherin who fit that description. Mulciber. One of the death eater Slytherins Lily had been worried Snape was hanging out with too much. How was it that both Mary and Mulciber coincidentally met at 3 in the morning outside the Gryffindor common room?

"MARY!" Came a voice from the portrait hole. I spun around to look, recognizing the voice to be Remus. The look in his eyes was of pure terror. He pushed through the students who were gathered around and fell to his knees next to her.

"What happened?" He asked, voice cracking halfway through his sentence. I sat down next to him and took Mary's twitching hand. Tears had formed in my eyes. Lily, Alice, James, Peter and Sirius had followed Remus through the crowd and formed a barrier around the three of us. Lily and Alice were completely in shock, looking to Dumbledore for an explanation. Peter and James looked shocked too. But Sirius... Sirius' face was as white a sheet. His eyes moved frantically back and forth like he was trying to figure something out. The head told us he was going to get Madam Pomfrey and that we should do nothing, in case of harming Mary further.

"It was Mulciber." I mumbled, sniffing.

"What... what did he do?" Remus asked me, trying his hardest not to cry.

"I don't know." I whispered and pushed my fringe away from my eyes. It was getting too long, really. I mentally slapped myself for thinking of my _hair_ when my best friend was possibly dying. What was _wrong _with me?

"I do." Sirius said, stepping forward. He was trembling and looked severely frightened of whatever he had worked out.

"Haven't you fucked enough up for one school year, _mate?_" James growled. If he was hurt, Sirius didn't show it.

"James, stop it." I spat, wiping my eyes. How could he say something like that at a time like this? Sirius shook his head at me and addressed James.

"I have. I'll be the first to agree with you. And I'm so so sorry. I don't know what else I can do to show you that. If you do, please let me know, because I'm willing to do anything. But, trust me, James. I know what's happened to her. I'm a Black, for Merlin's sake." He pleaded.

"What? What is it?" Remus asked, forgetting completely his anger at Sirius in light of Mary's predicament. Sirius crouched down next to us.

"It's Ceredere. Dark magic. The curse eats away at the brain little by little, turning off the nerves or something, until all that's left of the victim is a shell." He said, putting his hand to Mary's head.

"Oh my God!" My hand flew to my mouth. "That's sick."

"I think... I think I can stop the spell." He said cautiously, glancing at me. His pupils were dilated with fear. He didn't know if he could do this and didn't want Remus to know.

"Do it." Remus begged. "Please, do anything. Just help her."

Impatient murmurs were coming from the crowd. Dumbledore wasn't back yet. They were getting anxious. I took Sirius' hand and gave it a squeeze, telling him to try. He touched his wand to Mary's forehead and muttered something under his breath. A white mist encased her head. She immediately stopped convulsing and twitching. She lay utterly and completely still.

Sirius exhaled deeply. Lily let out a sob of relief and clutched James' arm without really realizing what she was doing. He widened his eyes, not knowing what to do to make sure this didn't stop. Remus took his girlfriend's other hand and stroked it gently.

Finally, after a long, nerve-wracking wait, Dumbledore appeared with Madam Pomfrey.

"Move aside! Move aside!" She tutted, shoving students out the way. When she reached Mary, she gasped. "This girl needs to be taken to St. Mungo's immediately!"

"Of course." Dumbledore said. He flicked his wand, removing the anti-Apparation charm, I assumed, and then turned to the ever growing group of students. "Students, please return to your dormitories. Miss MacDonald will be taken to St. Mungo's and you will be informed immediately if she makes progress."

The group dispersed quietly, everyone too concerned about Mary to do anything but whisper almost inaudibly amongst themselves.

"Tell them it's a Ceredere curse." Sirius piped up. "I cast a Torcantio, which will immediately freeze any dark magic, but it won't hold forever. Especially as it's probably not a very good one."

Dumbledore looked at Sirius, a look of... was that awe? crossing his face. "It's a Ceredere? Are you sure?"

Sirius nodded grimly.

"Thank you for that, Sirius. Now please could you all return to your dormitory. Poppy and I will take Mary to St. Mungo's right away." He nodded at us, levitated Mary's still body into the air, and apparated away with both she and Madam Pomfrey.

We were silent once they had left. No one spoke a word. No one moved.

Finally, Remus broke the silence. "This is my fault." He sounded so broken. I almost burst into tears all over again. And I had just managed to control myself.

"No! There's no way this is your fault." Alice said, indignantly, tears still streaming down her face.

"You don't understand!" Remus replied, raising his voice. "It _is. _He attacked her because she's dating me." He paused. Alice looked confused. Lily didn't. I noticed that. Lily didn't look confused.

"I'm a werewolf." He croaked, not looking up.

My jaw dropped. I don't think Remus quite understood what he had just done. Mentioning this in the middle of a corridor where anyone could be listening was just... well... stupid! James shot me and Peter a terrified look. We returned his with ones of our own.

"Does- does Mary know?" Alice asked after a long pause. Mary did know. Remus confided in me that he was going to tell her about a month ago. He also told her that I knew. She asked me if it was true just a week ago.

Remus nodded. Alice blinked and looked around. No one else looked at all surprised. Lily had guessed, I was sure of it.

"I have to break up with her." He suddenly said. "I can't believe how selfish I was."

"REMUS!" Lily and I yelled at the same time.

"No." Sirius said urgently. "You can't. Remus, listen. You're one of my best mates... well... you used to be..." His tone softened. "I've never seen you as happy as you are when you're with Mary. And Goldy'll tell you, I bet she's never seen Mary so happy as when she's with you."

"It's true, Rem. She's always going on about how happy she is. She's liked you for ages, you know." I added quickly. He couldn't break up with her. Especially not now.

Sirius continued, encouraged. "She knows what you are and doesn't care! None of us do, don't you get that. We all still care about you just as much as would if you weren't a werewolf. And I know I've made the biggest mistake of my entire life and I probably don't deserve you as a friend, but I wish more than anything I could take it back." He stopped speaking and looked from James to Remus to Peter and then down at the floor.

"But... she could get hurt." Remus finally said.

"This is a war, Remus. We're all probably going to get hurt somewhere in the near or distant future. Sirius... Padfoot... is right." James replied. Sirius looked up.

"Thanks, James." He whispered hoarsely. Finally, their fight was over. And hopefully, we'd all grown a little from it.

"Oh come here you two!" I grinned with relief. They stumbled over their feet as I yanked them towards me for a hug. Lily giggled, setting the rest of the rest of us off. Everyone piled in for a massive group hug; glad the tension of the past few months was gone for good. We were a family. And nothing was going to keep us apart.

But then we stopped. We had all suddenly realized where we were and how very serious the situation was. One of us was missing. The laughter died away. We broke apart, eyes on the floor.

It was going to be a long night. And the question in everyone's minds was: why were both Mulciber and Mary in the Gryffindor corridor at three in the morning?

It sure was the question on mine.

**Hey everyone. Wow. I'm a horrible horrible person. I'm sure some of you thought I was discontinuing! Well that's definitely not true AT ALL. I've just been really busy starting year 11 and getting back on my feet after the long (and amazing!) summer. Also, I've been writing ahead, so now I've got about 42 chapters written! Be proud! :D Thanks, as always, to my gorgeous reviewers! You guys give me reason to smile when I'm down. **

**Noelle Seren: Lily is being stupid! But, what can you do, she's blind. At the moment! Bum bum buuuuuuuum. Thanks for the review **

**Nemo-chan: No but you're right! It's AGONIZING! (For me too) I wish they could just have happy butterflies and rainbows all the time. Thanks for reviewing!**

**XxMixedXxLoverXx: Thanks for the very detailed review! I know Lily's being very bumish about this, but you have to remember she's been trying to tell everyone he's good for years! She's even managed to convince herself. And it's a lot harder to unconvince yourself than to unconvince others. Thanks again for reviewing **

**Luli Cullen: Thanks! Hope you liked it!**

**Jaisler: Aww that's nice! Thanks x100 :D I'm glad you think it's paying off. And thanks for the review too.**

**RMH RMH: Hahaha you say that every time! :P But still, thanks. Missing you **

**ellabellabee: OH MY LOL! That's funny! Hehehehe Sirius is a dog.. Oh, I'm touched! It is an honour I shall wear with pride xD ahah thanks! I thought I should add some humour before the storm (metaphorical and literal. *gasp!* I'm turning into an actual Lit student! NOOOOOOO) Oh yah, ginger nut will come to her senses soon, that's for sure. *evil laugh* Thanks so much for saying that! I know I keep saying this and saying it and it must be getting old, but it's the truth, it really means so much to me. Ahha once again, you've succeeded in making me laugh :DGood job. Awwwwwwwww *love heart* **

**XxSiriuslyinluvxX: I'm soooo sorry! It's taken me so long to update I hope you haven't been checked into St. Mungo's yet You are SO nice to me! I'm overwhelmed! Thanks so much! You're a legend **

**LittleMissDreamer7: Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it! :D**

**Girl-With-No-Name-x: hahaha you're funny. I'd totally do the same thing though! I mean, I spend my actual life reading fanfics (aren't I a cool kid? Haha) Thanks for the lovely things you said and I hope you liked this chapter! And of course you don't need to stop with the random comments. Lewis Carroll used to say random things (apparently) and look what he did! **

**Lilylucy: Wow, I cannot thank you enough. You've really given me some useful advice. I totally agree with you. It's been irritating me too, not being able to find flaws in Jaycee's character. Would it be ok if I PM'd you? I have some ideas, but I'm not sure if they'd get me out of this hole I've dug myself. And yeah, the plot's really clichéd, I know. The second book (I'm thinking at the moment there'll be three.) will hopefully be a lot more original cause they'll not be at school anymore. Thanks again for reviewing, it means a lot to me that you did so, though you said you don't review a lot. And thanks for saying I have potential **

**mykk47: Oh my lord, you've given me such a good idea! Well the beginnings of an idea. It needs to simmer for a couple of days before it can really be called an idea. But let's not get caught up in the technicalities. Thanks for your inspiring review! And don't you worry about that, Lily's in for a shock. **

**rhapsodieenbleu: (13 words cause it's your favourite number) This story will always be first in my heart and thanks for reviewing! :D**

**Phoenixpatronus: YOU TOO? I need to breathe to live as well! OMG we must be like... soul mates or something! :D Yessiree, this is that part. Thanks so much for the review! It was truly lovely**

**EmiStone: Thanks! Wow, that's really nice. Of course I'll keep writing! I hope you liked this chapter **

**Night Hawk 97: aw I'm sorry, I hope you manage to sort everything out soon. I know I hate changing schools (I've done that a lot in my life) and it sucks. I'm so glad you thought I did it well. I tried my very bestest, I promise. This was certainly a painful chapter, possibly not in the way you imagined it though. Thanks for reviewing! **

**Question Point: hahaha that's hilarious! Kudos on the awesome name! I'm glad you like this story line better lol. Hope you keep reading, though it must be awkies reading your name every time my Jaycee is mentioned! Thanks for reviewing! :D**

**SARAHBABE215: I know it's taking foooorrreeeevvverrrrr but, trust me. It's all part of the plot line. They'll get together eventually but something significant has to happen first. Hope you don't give up on me! Thanks for the review **


	40. The Suspensory Pause

Ch 40 The Suspensory Pause _May, two weeks later_

Lily collapsed on her bed. Angry. I knew this, as did Alice, because as she entered the room she tugged at her ever lengthening hair. It's an old habit from when she chopped it short. One which, whenever Lily Evans is in a 'mood,' she reverts back to.

"Ah Lillian." I sighed, putting my Potions' book, which had not left my hand in a month, down. "Whatever is the matter?"

She scowled at me, but spoke anyway. "I tell him over and over and over again, but he just doesn't listen!"

"James?" Alice asked, not looking up from her increasingly messy DADA practice essay.

"No, Alice." Lily scoffed and flopped back onto her pillow. "Sev. Why can't he SEE how vile, how LOW, the death eaters he calls friends are! I had a chat to him about what Mulciber did to Mary today. Did he listen? Nooooo! 'It was only a joke, Lils.' Joke my arse." She ranted, frustrated.

Alice and I exchanged a look. Lily still didn't believe us about the fact that Snape had been the one to use Dolorosom on her. She'd very readily agreed that it had been Mulciber to curse Mary. Poor Mary. Tomorrow she was meant to be coming back from St. Mungos. She'd been there a little over two weeks, reprogramming her brain tissue. One of the Healers admitted to Dumbledore that if Sirius hadn't done what he had, she may have been lost for good. One can only imagine how any remaining negative thoughts about Sirius disappeared from both James and Remus' minds after that little piece of information.

"Because _he's_ as low and vile as them?" Alice mumbled under her breath, just audible enough for Lily to catch.

"I heard that." She narrowed her eyes and picked up this week's edition of Witch Weekly. Trust Lily. OWLs were in _two _weeks and she was catching up on hair and makeup tips.

"How's the OWL study going, then?" I asked with mock concern. She didn't even look up.

"So apparently bobby pins are meant to face downwards when you put them in your hair... I've always done them the other way." She mused to herself, picking up one of the many bobby pins lying on her bedside table.

Alice rolled her eyes and blotted her nearly unsalvageable essay. I looked back down at my potions' book. Acids, bases, neutrals, stirring techniques, temp adjustments in accordance with time. I read the words over and over again, but nothing sunk in. OWLs were in two weeks. I couldn't even focus on the page. My vision was blurring slightly. Time for a cup of coffee and an energy boosting spell. But my friends didn't need to know that.

"Guys," I announced, slamming my book shut. "I'm going to study with Remus. None of this is sticking." I made my way to the door, trying to recite the 7 steps to a flawless Age-Reversing potion. Alice and Lily were whispering argumentatively behind me.

Suddenly Alice called out, "Jaycee stop!" I spun around, head cocked to the side.

"Ye-hes?" I sang, appearing chirpy. She paused and glanced at Lily.

"You're not going for another energy booster are you?" Lily asked, looking at me over the top of her magazine. Ah, shit. I knew I was a terrible liar.

"Of course not! Seriously, I'm going to study with Remus. I'll be back in like an hour." I promised, smiling.

Alice narrowed her eyes, "That's 11pm. We expect you in bed no later than 11:30."

I almost laughed. "Yes, mum. Bye now, and don't worry, I won't forget to look both ways before I cross the street."

Alice huffed as I shut the door. Merlin, my friends were all but taking my study material away from me! I don't have TIME to sleep. I'm sure lots of people have taken that useless waste of time out of their schedules. Especially people who needed straight O's.

I'd made it to the kitchens without another obstacle. Grinning, I tickled the pear and stepped through the entrance. Immediately a swarm of house elves descended upon me.

"What can we do for missus?"

"Does Miss Jaycee want her usual, today?"

They squeaked simultaneously. Immediately, Nell, my favourite, brought me a double shot with three sugars. I smiled at her and praised her for knowing me so well. She beamed and scuttled away to continue cleaning.

I sat on one of the counters and took a long gulp of the scalding coffee.

"Vismetum." I breathed, pressing my wand against my forehead. Instantly, I felt energized. My vision steadied and my hands stopped shaking. I was no longer tired or hungry. I felt like I was ready to run a marathon. It was nice being a witch, I thought, as I opened my book and took out Remus' carefully written notes.

"And what do we have here?" A deep voice asked. My head snapped up. Technically, I was supposed to be in my dorm as it was way past curfew. Actually... I wasn't meant to be in the kitchens at all, ever, curfew or no curfew.

But thankfully it was just the boys. Jesus Christ I'd almost had a heart attack!

"Oh, James, don't _do_ that to me!" I rested my hand over my chest, heart restarting. James snickered, pushed his glasses up his nose and leapt up onto the counter next to me. Sirius did the same on my other side. Peter rested against the opposite counter, digging into a chocolate pudding one of the house elves had brought him. Remus leaned over my notes... well... his notes.

"Are those my Potions' notes?" He asked incredulously, picking them up. "I've been looking _everywhere_ for those!"

"No! I need them more than you!" I raised my voice, gold eyes flashing, and snatched them back, clutching them close as if protecting them from the evils of the outside world.

"What exactly are you doing, Goldy?" Sirius asked, raised eyebrows. "James here reckons he heard you giving yourself an energy booster, but that can't be true because that would mean you're in _need_ of an energy booster. And is that... coffee? We don't drink coffee! We're fifteen!" He sniffed and then recoiled from the smell.

I glared at James and changed the topic. "What are you guys even doing here?"

"Don't change the subject, young lady!" Sirius proclaimed loudly and snatched my book away from me. Bloody Sirius Black. Why was everyone treating me like a child lately?

"Fine, Sirius. I'm drinking coffee and I gave myself an energy boost." I threw my hands up. "Do me a favour and don't tell Lily and Alice."

The four boys exchanged looks.

"Jace..." James began, tipping the rest of the coffee down the sink on his other side.

"HEY!" I exclaimed. How dare he tip away my source of energy! He gave me a death stare which shut me up immediately.

"I think you're over-doing it just a little." He continued and gave the now empty mug to a house elf. Remus and Sirius nodded vigorously.

"N-not even M-moony studies this much." Peter squeaked, not making eye contact.

Something inside of me snapped. Yes, my friends were trying to help me. But I'd declined their help more than once. Surely they'd got the message by now. Also, these exams were the make or break of my future! Did they not see that? If I didn't get and O in everything, including Potions, I would NEVER be a Healer. I'd not get ANY job.

"You know what!" I spat and snatched my book back from Sirius. "You guys don't understand!"

James and Peter looked at one another helplessly. Sirius pushed his hair out of his eyes and sighed loudly.

"What don't we understand?" Remus asked, with a little force. Startled, I blinked. He continued relentlessly. "That you need to do well to ensure a future? That this is it for you? Because, if that's so, I know exactly how you feel!"

"Rem, for Merlin's sake! You're cleverer than me. Don't you see that?" I raised my voice, past breaking point. "You have straight O's in the bag! And the rest of you," I addressed Sirius and James mainly; Peter knew he had as much chance of getting an O as the Chudley Cannons had of winning the league. I hopped off the counter and faced all four of them.

"YOU have nothing at all to lose from getting an E or two. Do you know what McGonagall told me? Do you want to know? O's in everything or I probably have no chance of getting a job. No E's. And certainly no A's. James, you know what I'm averaging in potions at the moment. Why not share with the rest of the class?" My voice heightened in pitch as I got more and more hysterical. I shook my fringe out of my eyes, frustrated.

James was silent.

I giggled a little maniacally and continued, "An A. Exactly. So YES, Sirius, I _do _need a couple energy boosts a day to manage to study throughout the night, every night. And actually, yes, a cup of coffee three or four times a day helps me focus better. So WHAT?" There was definitely a headache coming on from all this yelling.

"Goldy! Listen to us!" Sirius yelled back at me, hopping off the counter so he was directly in front of me. "Want to know something? Lily and Alice sent us here. They knew you'd lied to them. They're _worried_ about you!" He put emphasis on the word 'worried.' "You need to sleep! You need to eat! You can't survive on nothing!"

"We're all worried, Jaycee." Remus said softly, putting a hand on Sirius' shoulder to end the discussion. He sighed again and retreated. If left alone, he and I would probably have yelled about this all night. I massaged my temple, which was now throbbing.

"Could you guys please go? Thanks for your concern, but I'm fine. And tell Lily and Alice I won't be coming up to the dorm tonight. I have to really increase my efforts if I want to ace Potions." I finished. Remus shook his head in disbelief. Sirius opened his mouth like he was going to argue with me again, but James cut him off.

"Yeah, ok. We'll go. See you later, then." He, too, slid off the counter and headed to the exit. Sirius glared at me before following James and the others. Despite out spat, my whole left side was tingling where he'd been an inch away from me.

Why did they think I cared what they said? I've never been super smart like them. Sure, maybe I had an advantage in defensive magic because I wasn't HUMAN, but pure intelligence? I had a lot of work to do. And they could never understand that. We were on opposite ends of the intelligence spectrum, to be honest.

I shut my eyes and rearranged Remus' notes. At least I didn't have to come up with some excuse to why I wasn't returning to the common room now.

V V V V V V V V V V V V V

If Lily, Alice or the boys were sore at me, they did nothing to show it. We all gathered in the Hospital Wing at exactly 9am the next morning to greet Mary. DADA class was currently in full swing, but we'd been given time off to see our friend.

"This is why Dumbledore's the best Head Hogwarts has ever had." I was explaining convincingly to Sirius, with much emotion and the use of hand gestures. "He's compassionate, he's sympathetic. No, he's empathetic! He's-."

"I know! I didn't disagree with you, you daft bird." He laughed and shook his head. I flicked his ear in retaliation for calling me a daft bird.

"Hey! That hurts!" He pulled an exaggerated sad face and pretended to wipe a tear.

"That's what you get for calling me a daft bird." I leered and flicked his ear again. He gently tackled me and slung me over his shoulder.

"SIRIUS PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!" I squealed, thrashing madly about, much to the amusement of my fellow Gryffindors.

"If you insist, dear lady." He smirked and chucked me ungracefully onto the nearest bed.

"I'm gonna get you for that!" I rolled onto my knees.

"OH just go out and get it over with already!" Lily and Alice screeched at the same time, quoting the quiz they'd made me take what seemed like an age ago. I blushed and averted my eyes.

"Seriously, though. You guys would make the best couple." Remus said. Then he grinned evilly and glanced at Lily and Alice and then at me... He wouldn't dare. "Plus..." Clearly he would dare. "You've already kissed."

Lily and Alice's reactions were so funny, if it had been anyone other than me that was in this position I'd have snorted with laughter. Their jaws dropped simultaneously. I swear, you could've fit Bludgers in their mouths.

"Moony, that was low." James grinned at his mate. "But, oh so amusing."

"YOU WHAT!" Alice shrieked. Lily shook her head, clearly unable to comprehend the idea.

"IT WAS LAST YEAR CALM DOWN!" I yelled back. Bloody Remus. I was going to kill him.

Madam Pomfrey burst out from her office. "No shouting in my Hospital wing!" She yelled, aghast. Maybe it wasn't the best time to point out, she, herself, was shouting.

Lily gave me the 'we're so talking about this later' look.

"Sorry Poppy, won't happen again." Sirius flashed his infamous smile and wink.

Madam Pomfrey had her scolding face on and I knew Sirius was in for it. Luckily, Dumbledore and a Healer had quietly entered the room in the mean time.

"As much as I'm sure Sirius deserves it, Poppy, you'll have to save a tongue lashing for later. Mary's finally arrived back where she belongs." Dumbledore winked at Sirius, who beamed back.

"Mary!" I whisper-yelled, not wanting a, as Dumbledore put it, tongue-lashing. Everyone scrambled away from the door allowing a pale, sickly looking Mary space to limp in.

I heard Lily stifle a sob. Alice looked stony. Our Mary. Our beautiful, amazing Mary had deteriorated profusely in the past few weeks. She smiled weakly.

"Hey guys." She rasped. "I missed you all so much." Her eyes lit up as she spied Remus. He looked at Dumbledore for permission. He gave a slight nod and Remus rushed to his girlfriend's side, pulling her into a very, very gentle hug. I saw him whisper something into her ear. She leaned against his chest and whispered back.

Out of nowhere, I felt a sudden rush of what could only be... jealously. I quashed it immediately, but it did not leave my mind easily. What Mary and Remus had, an easy, loving relationship... I wanted that. I wanted it badly.

Remus led her over to the bed Madam Pomfrey'd already set up and helped her lie down and prop herself up.

"I'm sure you have a lot to catch up on," Dumbledore smiled at us, making his way towards the door. "Oh and Jaycee. I took the liberty of collecting your mail."

I crinkled my eyebrows as he handed me two letters. My first thought was that there was another scheduled training and he'd wanted to give me notice. But of the two letters, neither was a scroll tied with red ribbon. I approached Mary's bedside, where she had launched into a tale of the girl who'd shared her room at the hospital's dreadful manners.

Once there, I perched on the bed and opened the first letter. I immediately recognized it as one from Emily. Now was not the time to read it. This was a letter for after school. The second letter had no address. In fact, it contained nothing but a small piece of paper with the word: Practice, written on it. It dawned on me that this was Dumbledore's way of saying that it was too risky for another meeting, but that he still wanted me to research and practice Avadae Vindica. I crumpled the letter and envelope and stuck them in my robe pocket. I glanced at my pale, thin hand as I drew it out of my pocket. Maybe I was over-committing myself just a little... Now with extra research and practice, was I going to be able to cope?

"And then the Healer said, if you make one more noise young lady, I'm sending you to share a room with the woman that made a mistake with the tongue tying curse. She hasn't stopped talking in days!" Mary finished her story, eyes bright, dry lips stretched into a big smile.

Everyone laughed at her impression of an irritated trainee Healer. I smiled too, though I hadn't heard the full story. It was good, just for a moment, to forget all that was resting on the next few weeks and simply remember how much we eight people loved one another. How strong our bond of friendship was. How we would always be there to pick one another up when we fell. Or even just to help each other laugh in times of darkness. Now that Mary was back, the gaping hole that had been ever present for the past fortnight had disappeared. We were whole again.

**That was quicker, wasn't it? :D I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! I certainly enjoyed writing it! Jaycee's being rather stupid about this OWL thing. Oh, I just remembered. To those of you who don't know what a suspensory pause is, (it's a drama thing lol) it's pretty much just when you come to the end of a line in poetry (speaking) and you let the last syllable linger a little before you go onto the next line. So yeahhhh, hope that helped the confused **

**Jaisler: I know! It pained me to do that, but you know... have to follow the canon Thanks for the review!**

**RMH RMH: Awwww thanks Can't wait to see you (don't forget the sunnies ;) ) haha**

**Luli Cullen: Thanksss hope you liked this one! :D**

**Victorious Penguins: Hmmm... perhaps ^_^ then again... perhaps not :P Thanks for the review! It's good to know people are trying to fit things together **

**LittleMissDreamer7: OH NO! :O We can't have that! I'll be sure to work extra quickly so you don't fall off a cliff and die! That would be most disastrous. Thanks for reviewing, even though you were about to fall to your death **

**rhapsodieenbleu: Omg dude. There are other sites for that :P hahaha but thanks for the review anywooo. I'll tell you a secret. I'm writing that chapter now. (but it won't be the next one!) Shhhh don't tell anyone. Lol jk this information is open to everyone haha**

**PhoenixPatronus: No, I am very much alive! Oh, I never got round to thanking you for sending me a tribute! That story will happen eventually. I'm in the middle of writing the district 1 reapings. Also thanks for reviewing THIS story! :D Wow, that's actually so nice of you to ! And I loved your chapter! It was great!**

**Nemo-Chan: Yeah, definitely! So glad you get it Thanks for the review and I hope you liked this chapter!**

**VictoriaWeasly: Hmm you guys are very smart! ;) But we'll just have to keep going and see what happens! Thanks for reviewing! xD**

**TWHATT18: hahaa sorry about that! Hopefully there won't be such long delays in the future and thanks!**

**thebritishone: Arm grabbing, I know. Such a scandal! Never fear! Sirius and James would NEVER let Remus do that! Sirius is a pureblood, he was brought up to remain calm. Though he rejects the title as much as possible, it's still in his blood. I'm so happy you like Nell! And no, that wasn't a typo haha. She's very excited about her award. I think she actually just fainted with excitement. Oh dear. :D:D:D:D:D LOVE REGINA SPEKTOR! She's a legend, isn't she! Love her love her love her. **

**ellabellabee: hahah lol loving the initial thoughts! De rien, mon ami, de rien! :D OWL reference, niiiiiiiceeee ! haha don't fret, soon enough Jaycee will realize she should've listened to her Gingernut. LOL that's hilarious! Thank you for liking Nell! :D OMG I totally guessed you guys were friends! I knew it! Wow I'm clever ^_^ I kid I kid. Thanks sooo much for all the nice things you said! And I loved reading your review, you know I always do **

**Girl-With-No-Name-x: I'm pretty sure it was him haha. Then again... he was on drugs half the time, I'm pretty sure :/ lolsssss. Hopefully you're not! Thanks so much! I'm so glad you're liking it :D I definitely, most certainly, look forward to that! xD**

**Night Hawk 97: Thanks for the review! It was really nice. I like being shocked too haha. I'll be reading a book and then it'll be like BAM! PLOT TWIST! I'll be like O_O omgggggggg whuuuttt? Like the book Ashes. It's mental like that at the end. **


	41. The Exams

**Here's a shout out to RMH RMH for being my 400th reviewer! XD**

Ch 41 The Exams_ June_

I stood outside the Great Hall. I was a shaking, nervous wreck. In exactly two minutes, the examiners would let us in for our first OWL exam, the History of Magic written. Mary, now fully recovered, and Remus had both tried to start conversations with me in a feeble attempt to calm me down, but I had barely even registered their lips moving. All I could think was that if I failed this exam, my life was over. Literally. My life would literally be over.

I absentmindedly tried to tuck my hair behind my ears. It was at such a tricky stage. Not a fringe, but not a parting either. Over the past few months getting my hair trimmed was honestly the last thing on my mind.

Ok, think now. Ewan the Egomaniac. You know this. You looked it over last night. What did he do?... My blood froze. I couldn't remember. I actually couldn't remember. This was _History of Magic_, for crying out loud. The subject you took if you were bad at real subjects!

"JAYCEE AIGLEIGH. EARTH TO JAYCEE." A hand waved in front of my face. I jumped and urgently spun to face the person who'd woken me from my trance, Lily.

"WHAT DID EWAN THE EGOMANIAC DO?" I asked frantically, almost hopping. Lily looked a little frightened. I didn't really blame her.

"Jaycee." She said and looked at me calmly, emerald eyes wide. "Calm. Down."

WHAT? How could she tell me to calm down! I began breathing very quickly, not able to take my mind off the fact that _I was going to fail_!

"Oh, move over, Evans. Let the master handle this." Sirius chuckled, shook his ink black hair out of his face and shoved Lily out of the way. She scoffed and pushed further to the front of the crowd where the others were. Most of them had given up on the idea of communicating with me in anyway. Sirius put his hands on my shoulders and moved his face close to mine. His almost silver, blue flecked eyes bore into my gold ones. This only made me feel more lightheaded, but at least I wasn't thinking about the exams anymore.

"It's Ewan the Egotist, actually. And he stole Sir Kenzington's protective ring_._ Breathe." He whispered. I managed a shallow breath. I wonder if he knew he had exactly 9 faint freckles on his nose. He lowered his voice even more and continued speaking. "You are Goldy! You can teach three fifth years how to become Animagi. You can do this. Hell, you can do anything!"

"But... what if I can't?" I asked, only letting him hear. My voice cracked. I'd made a fuss over these exams. I'd studied like there was no tomorrow. I'd made myself sick over it. But I didn't want my best friends to know how truly, truly... frightened I was. I was really scared.

He moved his arms from my shoulders to wrap around my neck and pulled me close. His arms covered my ears and blocked out all the hustle and bustle of the corridor. I immediately relaxed and put my arms around his waist without even thinking.

"You will." He said and tilted my head up to rest his forehead on mine. I made a small noise in the back of my throat, somewhere between a grunt of disbelief and a nervous giggle. He laughed softly, still not moving away from me. I glanced at his lips. They were stretched into a smile. I wanted to put mine to his so badly. We weren't even inches apart. Suddenly, all the noise stopped. I couldn't take my eyes off him. My heart was pounding. Could he hear it? Butterflies erupted in my stomach. He moved his face closer to mine, painstakingly slowly. All knowledge of how to breathe fled me. He placed a cool hand on my cheek and tucked a piece of blonde hair behind my ear. Our lips were less than a millimetre apart... and then-

"Students!" A voice announced. We jumped apart. I could feel my face turn crimson. My hair fell back into my eyes. I peaked at him from under my locks. He was bright red too. Why was there a teacher here? I looked around. Why was everyone else here too? "You may enter the Great Hall, CALMLY AND QUIETLY. Take a seat in alphabetical order."

It was McGonagall. Shit! The exams! Now I couldn't concentrate for another reason entirely! Damn Sirius Black. What the hell was he playing at! I tried to push him from my mind and shuffled into the hall with everyone else.

All four house tables had disappeared. In their place were several rows and columns of individual desks, each with two papers on, a quill and some ink. Breathe. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Focus. His hand had felt so perfect on my cheek. No! Bad thoughts. Exams. Calm. Breathe.

The examiner stood up at the front of the Hall. He was short, almost as short as Professor Flitwick. His robes were a startling purple. Quite obviously he had been chosen to be our examiner on request from Dumbledore.

"You may begin." He said and tapped a large clock behind him with his wand. It began ticking. "You have one hour."

I picked up my quill and frantically turned the page.

_List the main Sirius of the Sirius Goblin Sirius:_

I smacked my forehead. I needed to STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM. I'd spent months, MONTHS, on studying for these exams. I couldn't let it all slip away in a fraction of a second because Sirius Black bloody _touched_ me. But, oh Merlin. I couldn't get him out of my head no matter how hard I tried! What was I going to do now?

V V V V V V V

I sat down in the library with a scowl, positive I'd just failed my History of Magic OWL. Thanks a bunch, Sirius! A group of 3rd years at the table next to mine quickly picked up their books and hurried away. I slammed my fist against the table. Merlin, why was life so STUPID? My blood was boiling with rage. Rage at Sirius for screwing up my first exam. Rage at those third years for fearing me though they didn't know me at all. Rage at Dumbledore for not having contacted me since Mary got back to school. Rage at myself for putting so much time and effort and _hope_ into these exams. Who was I kidding? I'd never be a Healer.

And then I was crying. Every emotion I'd felt since I'd begun studying for OWLs, all the sleepless nights, all the energy boosts and coffees. Everything just came pouring out. I was gasping for breath, not caring that anyone who wanted to could see me, not caring that the ink of my Transfiguration notes was currently running, obscuring my careful writing.

"Jace?" I heard Mary's hushed voice as she slid in the seat next to mine.

I didn't look up. "Uh huh?"

"What happened? You ran out of there so fast we thought someone had died!" She put her thin arms around me and stroked my hair, matted from being chewed and pulled at through the course of the exam. I buried my face in her shoulder. Her wild, honey blond curls tickled my nose, but I didn't care.

I tried to form a coherent sentence, but was crying too hard. The students closest to us had begun to glance over, irritated. Mary noticed this and said that we needed to go somewhere else.

Once outside the library, I collapsed against the wall, exhausted, but no longer crying. I sniffed and wiped away the last of those traitorous tears. How embarrassing.

"Want to tell me what happened?" Mary asked. I shook my head, feeling short and insignificant as she hadn't joined me on the floor. She raised an eyebrow and put her hands on her hips.

The tears were gone but the anger hadn't faded. Mostly anger at Sirius. I wanted to kill him for distracting me like that. I bet he did it on purpose. He knew how badly I needed straight O's. He _knew._ He was probably clearing the competition for Remus. Yeah, that would've been it. He _wanted_ me to fail.

I sat there, glaring at me knees. Neither of us moved for a minute or two. Then, completely surprising Mary, I hopped up and stalked in the direction of the Gryffindor tower, robes billowing around me.

"Where are you going!" Mary jogged to catch up with me. She quickly tired and slowed to a walk as she was still in recovery and got breathless very easily.

"To kill Sirius Black!" I called over my shoulder. My eyes were slits and my hands were clenched.

I couldn't really hear properly but it sure sounded like Mary responded with, "Snog?" I graciously ignored her.

I stormed into the common room, frightening a few first years playing exploding snap by the portrait hole. Their fault for sitting so near the bloody entrance. James sat with Remus and Peter, going over Transfiguration notes.

"WHERE IS HE?" I yelled. Peter nearly jumped out of his skin. James clutched Remus' shoulder, wide-eyed in fear. Remus, in turn, rolled _his _eyes and shoved James off him. James' chair toppled over at this and he ended up, not so gracefully, on the floor. I almost laughed, and then I remembered that I was livid at the moment.

"SHIT! Don't sneak up on people like that!" James gasped and stumbled back into his chair, glasses askew.

"Peter? Care to be more helpful?" I cocked my head to the side and gave him a threatening look. It worked.

"In the- the d-dorm." He twitched. Normally I could easily tolerate Peter, but at that moment I wanted to avada him and his splutters and stutters. He was such a weasel! Why did the others even hang out with him? It crossed my mind that they were too nice to tell him to piss off and leave them alone. Then I kicked myself for thinking like that. I was turning into the biggest bitch. And it was all BLOODY SIRIUS ORION BLACK'S FAULT.

"Thanks." I stated grimly and strode to the boy's staircase.

"DONT'T HURT HIM! HE AND I BELONG TOGETHER FOR EVER! I COULDN'T BRING MYSELF TO LOVE A BALL-LESS MAN!" James shouted, ignoring the stares of the other students in the common room. Oh, to be so confident.

"No promises." I muttered under my breath and took the stair three at a time. I shoved a few younger boys aside as I rushed the stairs. They looked a little shocked to see me in the boys' dorms, but carried on their business.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!" I yelled, banging on the door as loudly as I could. He didn't answer. I narrowed my eyes and knocked louder and harder.

Finally, _finally, _the door opened a crack. I could see one of his eyes peering around.

"Um... just a moment, Goldy, I'm er... busy." He stammered and went to shut the door. I caught it with my foot and opened it myself.

"Oh no you d-" I began but was cut off upon realizing he was only wearing a towel and his hair was halfway between lather and rinse. I screamed and whipped around, covering my eyes.

"Sorry! Why aren't you dressed?" I squeaked, only half covering my eyes now. What? Why did I ask that? He was clearly in the middle of a shower. And whoa! Where did those abs come from?

"Isn't it pretty obvious?" He spat and tried to smooth back his soapy hair. Needless to say, it didn't work. "I _told_ you not to come in!"

"I uh... have to talk to-" I began, not sure what to do with my hands. They were just _hanging_ by my sides. But crossed felt too submissive, like I would just give him the coming arguement. And they didn't fit right on my hips. Ugh... two SECONDS ago I hadn't even noticed what they were doing. I settled for wringing them awkwardly.

"Can I finish showering first, please?" I raised an eyebrow and gripped his towel more tightly, which of course, only drew my attention _there_ more. What? Where did that thought come from. Eyes up. Eyes up. This was exceedingly uncomfortable.

"Y-Yes." I said, trying to look anywhere but at him. He gestured for me to take a seat on one of the beds. Remus' was the only one that was actually made, so I stumbled backwards to sit there while he headed back into the bathroom.

I had to get a grip, I thought to myself. You're here to yell at him for... for... actually, it had sort of slipped my mind what I was here to yell at him for. RIGHT. He deliberately put me off my exams! Oooh, that bastard. I was going to rip his head off when he came out of that bathroom. I stretched out on the bed and waited. He was in for it, alright.

"So," he stated loudly, stepping through the door, less soapy, still towel-clad. "What did you want to talk to me about."

"First, I'd like to know why you're still not wearing any clothes?" I pointed out. He was doing it on purpose now, I was sure. He pulled on a top. My jaw dropped. He'd just picked that up off the floor!

"Well, I don't generally keep my clothes in the bathroom. Don't know about you though? Anyway, shut your eyes for a second." He winked cheekily and waved a pair of boxers at me, also found on the floor. Ew. I more of less willingly obliged.

"SECONDLY," I started strong, which is a bit of a feat with your hands covering your eyes. I was afraid to remove them in case he hadn't finished putting the probably filthy boxers on yet.

"You can uncover your eyes now." He whispered in my ear. I leapt nearly out of my skin!

BLOODY MERLIN'S EYEPATCH!" I yelped. How had he ended up right next to me without my hearing him?

"I wasn't aware Merlin had an eyepatch." He grinned and shook his dark, wet hair. Not unlike a dog, I noticed.

"That doesn't matter right now. What matters right now is..." I bit my lip. Crap. How had I forgotten again! He was too good looking for his own good. I mentally slapped myself for about the fifth time in the last five minutes.

"Is..?" He contained a snigger. I was not pleased with how this was turning out. Not pleased one bit. Oh yes! The exams. I jumped off the bed, hands on hips, to face him.

"YOU DELIBERATELY PUT ME OFF MY EXAMS TODAY, SIRIUS." He looked slightly taken aback at the force behind the words.

"Excuse me?" He blinked. For a second I lost myself in his silver eyes. I wondered if anyone had ever counted the blue flecks? Then I remembered myself.

"What even WAS that? Why would you try to KISS me?" I threw up my hands, confused as hell.

"Well, Goldy, you didn't seem too unhappy with the turn of events!" He stood up too, shaking his hair a little again. Water droplets hit my skin.

"How could you POSSIBLY know what I was thinking!" I screamed. How dare he! How dare he patronize me when I was yelling at him! And when I'd just lost all hope for a future, too. Let's not forget that tiny, insignificant detail.

"So you WOULDN'T have kissed me, then?" He yelled back. He had a point, actually. But I was not about to let him know that!

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT! THE POINT IS, I NOW HAVE NO FUTURE! BECAUSE. OF. YOU!"

"THAT'S EXACTLY THE POINT! AND DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT."

"WHAT? THAT _WAS_ THE SUBJECT, YOU RETARD."

I could feel my cheeks turn red with exertion. He was looking a little pink too. He stepped closer to me.

"Ok. Let's get one thing clear, right now. You are... a CRAZY PERSON!"

"Well that's nice! Anyway, WHY? Why did you do that?" I took a step closer too, eyes narrowed. He didn't reply. Just stared at me with this weird look on his face. It was almost a confused look. Not quite. There was something else there too that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"Well? Why?" I asked a little softer now. My head was starting to pound a bit from all the yelling.

And then. Then he closed the small gap between us and without any warning at all, kissed me. I was taken completely by surprise. It was a rough kiss, passionate. I, despite hating his guts at the moment, felt my knees go a little weak. I wrapped my arms around his neck and responded without even thinking. My heart pounded loudly, or was that his? This was electric. His lips were so soft and his arms fit perfectly around my waist. Like we'd been designed to fit together. For the moment, I forgot what oxygen was. This was too surreal to be happening. Any remotely angry thought melted away. All that mattered was that he didn't let go of me. Ever.

Of course, he did eventually. And whispered in my ear, "Because I think I might be falling for you."

Everything came to a jolt in my mind. The universe stopped for that split second. My heart seemed to droop with disappointment. Because all of a sudden, I knew I meant nothing more to him than another name in his book. He, speaking those words... I knew they weren't real.

Maybe I would've fallen for it. I like to think I'd be too smart for that. I like to think I would've figured it out by myself. But, I knew I wouldn't have. I would've fallen for it. If I hadn't heard him say the exact same thing, so many times, to each of his... what could you even call those girls? His sluts? His conquests? His distractions?

And I wouldn't be just another notch on his bedpost. I had too much dignity for that.

It took every ounce of pride I had to turn around. To turn around and just walk away.

After all, I'd already wasted so much study time on him.

**Uch, hate me if you like, but don't fret, things are coming. I promise. Hope you guys are still liking the story. I know it's dragging on FOREVER but there are so many things that need to happen! I legit have a checklist of "PROBLEMS" that I look over and decide which ones to focus on in which chapters. There are a lot. Seriously. A. Lot. OH and THANK YOU SO MUCH! Over 400 reviews now! THIS IS AMAZING. Thank you to the ends of the Earth! I saw that I had over 400 and I am not kidding right now, I cried. With happiness of course hahaa. Thank you all soo much!**

**Luli Cullen: Thanks so much! I hope you liked it and don't hate me too much for the ending ahah**

**Girl-With-No-Name-x: Thanks for your super nice review! I'm glad they're back together too. It makes me haaappyy! :D awwww thanks for saying that. It was really nice to hear!**

**Jaisler: And that is on the increasingly long list of PROBLEMS. Don't worry though, you'll find out sooon. But not yet. BECAUSE it's essential to the PLOT! xD Thanks for the review!**

**Nemo-chan: Wow, that means so much to me. Thanks a lot! I hope you liked this chapter. **

**RMH RMH: Patience! Haha and thanks so much for being my 400th reviewer! *love heart***

**Night Hawk 97: haha I'll definitely put more of that in, in that case! I'm glad you liked it, I thought Rem should have some fun too! And yeah, Jaycee's seriously stressing. Not good. Not good at all. I wonder what will happen because of this... Well.. actually I don't cause I've already written the next few chapters but FOOD FOR THOUGHT! Thanks so much for the nice review **

**XxSiriuslyinluvxX: Oh my lordie! I don't think I'd be able to live without fanfiction for two weeks! Wow I've become such a nerd. I'm sure my more 'cool' past self would be scoffing at what I've become. Tehehehe this is better! Much better ^_^ LOL you, my friend, are just a walking pun-machine! Even your penname is a pun! I applaud you. Thanks so much for being so amazingly complimentive. (not a word, whatever haha) It means soooo much. I can't even begin to tell you how much. **

**thebritishone: I loooved your story! It was quite lovely. And an ego-booster for me! xD Thanks for that! You're lovely. I TOTALLY understand that. If I were so lucky to be a witch and live at Hogwarts I would refuse to leave my bed. Flat out REFUSE. Hmmm possibly will leave the elephant out. Actually... I wonder if I could slip it in somehow. Hmmm *lightbulb* See if you can spot the reference! Haha I know! I've based Remus and Mary's relationship on my two friends. It's really adorable! xDxD Thanks so much for your continuous support of my fanfic. It's so nice to get reviews from you.*twitch* I know that song well... *twitch* heh heh interesting memories there... **

**ellabellabee: Oh YUCK! You do physics too? I usually love it... but with my teacher... hmm... I don't want to be sued for libel but I'm sure you can imagine what I'd like to say. I breaks mine too! :'( I want Jaycee to be better as well! But she can't yet because she needs to be silly a bit longer. Hahaha jolly's a good word. It IS jolly, isn't it? As I mentioned in thebritishone's reply, mary and remus are based on two of my friends. I absolutely adore seeing them together. They're stunning. Haha I'm random too, and nothing could possibly scare me. Honest to god ahha. Thanks for the review, it was jolly nice to read!**


	42. The Collapse of Almost Everything

Ch 42 The Collapse of Almost Everything _June_

"Did they ask you to make the pineapple do cartwheels?" I collapsed into a cross-legged position under the big tree near the lake. It was getting warmer, so we'd opted to study for the DADA exam outside. I tugged at my annoying hair. I still hadn't found time to cut it. Must remember to do that.

"I think so..." Alice yawned. She was sprawled across the grass, swirling her fingers around in the lake, mindlessly. I picked up my DADA book and opened it to where I'd left off.

"Jace?" Mary asked. She was halfway through making a paper crane. This would be number 231. She was aiming for 1000 and had been collecting since about the beginning of 4th year.

I looked up, and cleared my throat, indicating that I was busy.

"Aren't you even going to take a little break? We've just had the charms practical and DADA's not until tomorrow!" She made the last fold and proudly looked at her origami 'masterpiece.' To be fair, she was getting better. A little.

"Yeah, and Defence is your best subject. You're sure to get an O even if you don't study." Lily, back resting against the tree, red hair falling into her eyes, lazily swapped the color of the grass in front of her to purple.

I sighed and didn't answer.

"Is that GOLDY? Studying DEFENSE?"

Oh Merlin. I internally groaned, hearing his voice coming from halfway between the castle and our tree. Sirius Black was the last person I wanted to see right now.

James, beside him, joined in. He fake gasped in pretend shock. "Why, yes. Yes it is! Good gracious me!"

"WHAT on earth is the world coming to!" Sirius shook his head. Remus patted him on the back indifferently. I smiled. At least Remus had a remotely amusing sense of humour. Peter was following behind them, of course. I really wish he wouldn't rely on them so much. He was just so different. No matter how hard he tried, he would never really fit in with them. They were loud and witty and a little cutting sometimes. Peter was shy and timid. More gentle. I don't think he understood what wittiness was; let alone how to use it. And he wasn't strong like them. They were forcing him to withdraw even further into his shell. I wish he would try to branch out and make other friends. Because it's never nice feeling like you just don't belong.

The four Marauders reached our little group. And cue the end of any studying whatsoever.

"What do you guys want?" Alice murmured lazily, not opening her eyes.

"Frank's looking for you." James said simply before sitting down right next to Lily. I rolled my eyes. This would be interesting. But, to my immense surprise, Lily said nothing. Nothing at all. Not even a 'you toerag!' Hmm... Interesting indeed.

"He IS?" Alice sat up immediately, eye bright. Her almost black hair was so long now it brushed the floor when she sat.

"Yeah, he said he wanted to ask you something." Sirius smirked and wedged himself between Remus and me. "Three guesses what."

"Sirius... do you really think this is the most comfortable place to sit? Why not sit over there, for Merlin's sake! You know, where there's SPACE?" I complained. He didn't budge.

"Oh my GOD! He wants to ask you out!" Lily squealed. She always reverted back to Muggle ways when she was excited. You can take the girl out of the muggle but you can't take the muggle out of the girl. I supposed I was the same sometimes.

"Do you think so!" Alice asked, breathlessly. She was beaming.

"Oh Merlin, girl. For SURE!" Mary crawled to the other side of the tree so she could lean against Remus. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his lips to the top of her head. I felt that same pang of jealously I got whenever those two were together. Was I happy for my friends? Of _course_. I couldn't be happier that they were together! Did I maybe wish I someone would smile at me like that? Or wrap his arms around me and tell me I looked beautiful even if I had just come in from Quidditch practice?

Sirius glanced at me, noticing I had become tense. I scowled at him and looked the other way.

Alice patted her hair and smoothed her robes. "How do I look?"

"Hideous, as usual!" I pulled tongue and grinned, pushing my jealous thoughts to the back of my mind.

"Oh don't listen to her." Lily gave me a shove. Awkward. She shoved me right into Sirius.

"Lily!" I snapped and pushed myself away from him. Alice rolled her eyes at our antics and quite literally skipped back to the castle.

"Just can't keep your hands off me, can you, Goldy?" He winked. I bit my tongue and said nothing, very difficult. Very difficult indeed.

"Is it t-true then? What P-padfoot said?" Peter asked, sitting down where Alice had been before. James controlled a snort. Quite poorly, might I add.

"Is what true, Peter? What did Sirius say?" I growled, looking straight at Sirius. He gulped and avoided eye contact.

Peter stammered, trying to backtrack when he realized he'd said the wrong thing, yet again. "Uh... n-nothing important. Err... um... j-ust th-that you and he uh... kissed?" He finished with a squeak.

"WHAT?" Mary and Lily cried and glared at me.

I locked eyes with Sirius. His were wide, pleading and a little afraid. Mine were ice cold. Unforgiving. I'd suspected all along that I meant nothing to him other than a brag to his stupid mates. After telling me the same thing he told each girl he was with and now this. I knew for sure.

I didn't say anything and slammed my book shut.

"Nothing." I said. "It was nothing. I'm going to study at the castle. This is too distracting. Plus, I'm dying for a coffee."

"You're not going for another energy-boost, are you?" Sirius said softly, still begging for forgiveness.

"So what if I am." I replied with a harsh tone. "You don't give a rat's arse about me, anyway."

Everyone could feel the tension between us and knew by now not to say anything. They thought it would just blow over like it always did before. This time was different now. This time I would be relentless.

I stood up and marched, chin up, book under my arm, away from my friends. I wasn't going back to the castle. And I didn't particularly want a coffee, either. I hadn't been hungry or thirsty in over a week. I did, however, desperately need energy boost. I was feeling incredibly light headed, especially after hearing Peter's little tidbit of information. Plus, I still didn't know if everyone had been asked the pineapple question! Mine's cartwheels looked more like somersaults!

Once I felt like I'd gone far enough, I veered off course and headed towards the Forbidden Forest. Nobody saw me enter. They were all too wrapped up enjoying the June sunshine and the near end of the school year. Only the 5th and 7th years were still working now. I remember clearly this time last year. Teachers gave up attempting to teach in the end.

The forest was cool and silent, except for the whispering of secrets between trees. I reached down and pulled my old and very tatty canvas shoes off. The ground was slightly damp from all the moss. It felt so refreshing on my hot, sweaty feet. I trudged deeper into the darkness, contemplating the past week or so. Bloody Sirius. Why did he have to be in my head so much? Why couldn't I ever get him out of my thoughts? No matter what he did or I did... He was always THERE. My thoughts drifted to Frank and Alice briefly. I wondered how they were doing. Now only Lily and James needed to get together and everyone would be matched exactly as they should be.

"Enervate." I muttered, pointing my wand at my heart. I'd been using Enervate more than Vismetum lately. Vismetum had stopped working for me. I'd read somewhere that Enervate not only works as the counter-curse for Stupefy, but was originally meant to be an energy-boosting spell. It was a lot stronger than most though, and someone had the idea to try it as a counter-course. Which was sheer brilliance, to be honest. Also, pointing the spell at my heart rather than my head had proven to be a lot more effective. I momentarily felt energized again, the dizziness disappeared and I was no longer tired, before being overcome with a wave of faintness. It blinded me for a second and the world spun beneath my feet.

When I regained my sight I was shaking like a leaf. What had _that _been? I needed to sit down. I weakly rested against a boulder slightly off the trail, trodden down by countless animal hooves and paws. My vision was still swimming a little. Suddenly, nausea washed over me. I felt myself lean over and gag. But there was nothing in my stomach to vomit. Despite having taken my shoes off and rolled up the sleeves of my robes I was sweating. Only it wasn't a normal sweat. It was ice cold. My hands were shaking uncontrollably. In fact, my whole body was quivering. Vertigo overwhelmed me again. What was happening to me? I couldn't steady myself. It was panicking me and I began to hyperventilate. Breath wasn't reaching my lungs easily and I heard my breaths becoming shallower and shallower.

And then, as quickly as it began, my episode ended. I tried to push myself up, but collapsed, too weak. I held my hand out to see if the wobbliness had stopped too. No such luck. But it wasn't as bad as it had been moments ago. My hair was wet with sweat, but I was freezing. It was too cold in the forest. I needed to get back out into the sun, but my body wouldn't move. In fact, I was too weak to even reach for my wand to try sending my patronus to Mary. Tears formed in my eyes. I was a complete wreck. And there was no way to get help. Everyone thought I'd gone back to the castle. When they didn't see me in the common room, they'd assume I was in the library or vice versa. No one would even realize I was missing until I didn't show up for dinner. And even then maybe they would think I was just skipping dinner like I usually did. Especially since I'd left in anger, when I didn't seek them out, everyone would think I was avoiding them. No one would realize I was out here, weak and shaking, freezing in the Forbidden Forest.

V V V V V V V V

I must have sat there in a cold sweat for hours. And I could not stop trembling. I was regaining absolutely no strength. And it was getting dark. I was frightened out of my wits. Hot tears ran down my already tear stained, dirty, cheek. I tried to pull my robes tighter around me, but my hands were shaking too badly. All I could do was sit there. My bum was so sore from sitting in the same position for so long and both my legs had gone to sleep. I'd had several more of those awful episodes since the first and I could do nothing but wait for them to pass.

Finally, eventually, I heard someone's footsteps as they squelched through the moss and mud. I tried to make a sound to let whoever it was know that I needed help desperately but I could only whisper.

"Goldy? Are you there? Merlin, please be here!"

It was Sirius. Oh, I'd never been more relieved to hear his voice. Another tear spilled down my cheek. With relief rather than desperation.

"Sirius!" I croaked. "Please! Help me"

"Goldy? Goldy! Where are you! What's happened?" He asked frantically.

"Over here... by the rock." I coughed, fighting for breath.

I saw him round the same corner I had and come closer. When he noticed me huddled in a heap, he tumbled over his own feet rushing towards me.

"What happened? I've been looking everywhere for you! When you didn't show up for dinner…" He immediately crouched down and wrapped his arms around me, noticing how much I was shivering.

"I- I tried to d-do an energy boost an-and I- I..." I was sobbing, gasping from lack of air. I felt so sick that I wanted to pass out and just die.

"It's ok. It's all ok." He soothed, rubbing my back. "Can you stand?"

I shook my head.

"Ok, where's your wand?" He picked me up, bridal style, with ease. Once he'd retrieved my wand and put it in my robe pocket, he began back towards the castle. It was getting really dark now. The sun had almost completely set.

Sirius didn't speak. I could tell though, by the way he had pursed his lips that he was disappointed in me. It made me feel small.

"How could you let this happen to yourself, Goldy?" He finally whispered, staring blankly ahead.

"I... I had to." I sniffed. "Otherwise I'd- I wouldn't be a Healer. They wouldn't take me."

He didn't reply. And instead of angering me, it only made me disappointed in myself. We spent the rest of the journey back in silence. I was suddenly very, very tired. My eyelids were so heavy; it was hard to even keep them open. It felt like my blood had turned to lead. All I wanted was to curl up in my warm dorm bed and sleep forever.

But Sirius took a different path than that to the Gryffindor tower once we entered the castle. I didn't even have enough strength left to muster up a 'where are we going.' I just let him take me wherever he wanted.

We ended up outside the kitchens. I laughed faintly as Sirius tried to tickle the pear with his foot. He looked at me for a moment, emotionless. Then he smiled and pulled me closer to him.

"I can't be upset with you. No matter what stupid mistakes you've made." He, still smiling, rolled his eyes and pushed the door open. I buried my face in his chest and listened to the steady beating of his heart.

"I'd like a bowl of soup, thanks, Bissy." I heard him tell a house elf. I knew he was going to try to make me eat. But I didn't know if I'd be able to.

He propped me up on one of the counters, hopped up beside me and took my now only slightly wobbly hand in his firm one. The house elf named Bissy immediately produced a steaming bowl of chicken soup with some crusty bread. I recoiled from the smell. I didn't think I'd be able to do this. I shook my head. Sirius ignored me and held a spoonful to my mouth.

I felt like a 5 year old, refusing to open my lips, so I eventually let him feed me the spoonful. Instantly I felt like I was going to be sick. I leaned the other way so not to be sick on Sirius.

"No, Goldy, you have to keep it down. Swallow. Come on, it's one spoonful of soup. Just swallow it." He let go of my hand so I could compose myself. And thank Merlin he did. I couldn't focus at all with his in mine.

I managed to get the soup down. Sirius beamed and held out a glass of water another of the house elves had produced.

I gulped some down, gratefully.

"Seconds?" He held out the full spoon.

Little by little, I ate the whole bowl. It took a while, but Sirius helped me get it down. I felt so much better afterwards. It was incredible. I didn't just feel stable. I felt healthy.

"Come on, you need a shower and then you need to go to bed." He lifted me off the counter and placed me on the floor. I didn't let go of him though. Instead I hugged him close to me.

"Thank you." I breathed. He'd saved me. After I'd been so awful to him. It had been unfair, just expecting to mean more to him than his other girls. "And I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He whispered back, stroking my matted hair.

"I don't want to go back to the dorm, Sirius. I don't think I have the strength to explain myself right now." I mumbled worriedly.

"I know where to go." He let go of me and held out his hand for me to take.

V V V V V V V V V V

We were standing in front of a wall. Legitimately. I gave Sirius a look of pure bewilderment. Why had he taken me to come and see a wall?

"Um... it's nice?" I shrugged.

He let out a bark of a laugh. "We're not here to see the wall, stupid. Close your eyes."

"No." I said suspiciously, looking around. This was weird.

"Trust meee!" He whined and tugged at my arm. I rolled my eyes and complied.

"Okay!" He said happily. "You can open them now."

I blinked. Where there was a wall before, now stood a grand and majestic door.

"What?" Was all I managed to get out.

He grinned and pulled me towards the door. When he opened it I saw a cosy room. There was a roaring fire and a massive pile of cushions and blankets in front.

"Has this always been here?" I asked in surprise as I let myself get yanked inside.

"Yes! But it's unplottable." Sirius said proudly.

"Come again, now?"

"Unplottable. You can't put it on a map. That's why it's not on ours. It's the Room of Requirement. It changes to whatever the occupant wants it to be. James and I found it by complete chance the other day." He sat down in front of the fire. "Check the door behind you. It probably leads to a bathroom."

I raised my eyebrows and did so. And yes, there was a huge, grandiose bathroom. The tub was better than the prefects' tub! Lily had snuck all the girls down there one night last year to show us how cool the bathroom was. But this was better. There were too many taps to count. And rather than it being like a swimming pool, it was a bathtub for one, more like a Jacuzzi.

I turned all the taps on and let it fill up. The bathroom was infused with scents. Perfumes, oils, soaps. It smelled amazing. I double-checked that the door was locked before peeling off my sweaty clothes and stepping into the full bathtub. I sunk down into the hot water, past my ears. A sense of calm washed the events of the hectic week and awful afternoon away. I could have fallen asleep right there... then I remembered I was a Vigorater. Not a fish. I couldn't breathe underwater.

I did take my time though. If I'd been Sirius, I'd have been very worried I'd had another episode and drowned. Luckily, Sirius didn't appear to be the worryguts type as he decided to leave me be for the whole half hour I was soaking.

After attempting to dry my hair with Alice's hair dying charm, I hunted around the bathroom for pyjamas. Funnily enough, just as the thought entered my head, a small chest of drawers appeared by the sink. I opened the top drawer to find pyjama tops. Only. The second drawer held bottoms. And the third drawer, my favourite drawer of the three, held pair after pair of slippers! I had lots of fun trying on all the different pairs before settling on some fuzzy yellow ones with duck beaks. Just some sweats and a tank top for pyjamas. I wasn't too fussed what Sirius saw me in as he'd probably just seen me at my most disgusting an hour ago.

"Merlin's balls, Goldy, what took so long? I was beginning to think you'd drowned." He yawned and stretched. His t-shirt rose up just enough to give me a quick peak of his stomach. Those bloody abs. Why did he have to be so damn attractive?

"Well you'd have been a big help if I had been drowning..." I said drily and sat next to him by the fire. He laughed and pulled my duck slippers off.

"These are adorable!"

As IF that boy was wearing MY slippers. I narrowed my eyes and glared at him. "Give. Them. Back."

He tapped his chin, pretending to give it some thought. "Noooope!"

"Under any other circumstances, I'd fight you to the death... unfortunately I'm so exhausted, I can't think of a single spell besides Alice's hair drying spell..." I grumbled and snuggled into a sleeping bag.

"How very terrifying! Imagine having my hair dried! I don't think I'd be able to go on." He shuddered mockingly.

"Oh shut up..." I said shut my eyes contentedly. For the first time in a very, very long time, I was happy. I was calm. I felt strong.

"Hey, Goldy... before you go to sleep..." Sirius prodded me in the cheek. I slapped his hand and rolled over. Now was not the time to talk. Now was the time to sleep. I hadn't slept in weeks and damn it all I was going to enjoy it now.

"Waaaakeeee uppppppppp Goooolddyyy!" He whisper-shouted in my ear and continued poking me.

"WHAT?" I turned back over and growled at him.

"Oh you're up. That's lucky. I wanted to ask you something." He looked gleeful. I was going to murder that boy.

He didn't continue.

"Sirius, I swear, if you are keeping me awake for no other reason than to keep me awake, I'll- I'll... Godammit I'll.." I began, trying to think of a threatening response.

"Why did you leave before? After we... kissed?" He cut me off.

Oh Lord. Despite being SO not in the mood for this kind of conversation, I supposed he deserved an answer. You know, cause he just saved me from spending what would have been one of the worst nights of my life in the freezing cold.

"I... well... It's just that..." I stammered, searching for the right response. I sighed and looked up into his eyes. Gold meeting silver. "You said the same thing about 'falling for someone' to Greta the other month. And then dumped her two days later."

He looked dumbstruck.

"And you didn't put me in your stupid book..." I mumbled and crossed my arms.

"Wait... THAT'S what you're upset about?" He raised his eyebrows.

"NO!... Maybe... yeah..."

"Goldy! I didn't put you in there because you mean so much _more_ to me than them..." He eased my hand away from my crossed arms. "Not less."

I opened my mouth to say something else, but he squeezed my hand and told me he wasn't finished yet.

"I said those things to you because... well... this is sort of embarrassing." I noticed a faint blush creep up in his cheeks.

"You never blush except when you're around me, you know." I giggled and reached out to touch his pinkening face.

"See what you do to me?" He whispered and pressed his other hand against mine, still lingering on his face.

"Why did you say those things to me, Sirius?" I asked softly.

He sighed and continued. "Because I think I'm finally beginning to understand what they mean. They're not just nothing words. They're big. And I wanted to mean them about you..."

My face broke into a smile and my stomach swooped. I wanted to jump up and down and scream with happiness... but I managed to contain myself.

"Really?" I leaned closer to him. The combination of the fire, the blankets, and the situation were giving me a slight blush too.

He didn't say anything but nodded and kissed me lightly on the lips. Even in a second I felt the spark. There was really something here. Something amazing. Something incredible. Something-

"Beautiful." He breathed, studying my face. I smiled shyly and bit my lip. "I want you to know... what happened with Malfoy and Remus... I did that for you."

"What?" I snapped out of my reverie. How could he blame that on me?

"No! No, not like that." He backtracked quickly. "Because... he hurt you... and..."

"Yes?" Where was he going with this?

He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"I guess, what I'm trying to say is..." He paused, broke eye contact for a second. When he looked at me again, there was something in his eyes that hadn't been there before.

"I think I love you." He stumbled a bit over the words, like they were foreign to him. Then he leaned back and thought about something. "Wow. You know, that's the first time I've ever said that. To anyone... I think..."

I couldn't help but think just how sad that was. That _Sirius, _one of the most considerate people I knew, despite his bad points, had never had a reason to tell someone he loved them before.

"Thank you for saving me." I replied. Then, after a bit of a pause, I continued, a little more shyly. "I think, maybe, I might love you too... a little."

He chuckled and mussed my hair. "A little? Gee, thanks!"

"Baby steps, hun, baby steps. Isn't this better than a few hours ago?" I stuck out my tongue at him and snuggled closer under all the blankets. He laughed and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me right next to him.

"You just touched my shoulder... Things sure are getting serious now." I teased.

"Thought I'd take a risk." He joked back and kissed my cheek.

We stayed awake for another whole hour, teasing and laughing. And I'd never felt happier. Or more alive. Sirius brought out all the good in me. I supposed I'd definitely have to keep him around now that I'd worked that out.

When we finally lowered the flame and stopped talking, after he'd fallen asleep (right away I may add, the lucky git), I glanced up at him. He twitched his nose in his sleep and I couldn't help but smile. I realized I wanted nothing more than to keep him around. Preferably for a very long time.

**YAY! They're finally together! xD But I didn't want to make it too big of a thing cause this story's not entirely about the romance, it's more of a friendship story. Anyway, as always, thanks to my reviewers! **

**disler: haha bit of an oxymoron right there. So glad you're liking it though! **

**Victorious Penguins: LOL hope this was satisfactory :P thanks for the review!**

**Amanda: Yes, and she's finally realized the exact same things. Chilling out is good! (especially if it's with Sirius ;) ) It's always like that though. The person never believes it, even when everyone else can see it's so obvious. I've been on the "attempting to convince" side so many times in these situations haha. It IS annoying.**

**XxMixedXxLoverXx: loong rant there! Haha it was funny to read See, as he said in this chapter, Sirius didn't really understand what the words were or what they meant before, so he wasn't deliberately attempting to hurt anyone, he just knew if he said those meaningless words girls would do anything he wanted. But now he's starting to understand the implications, so yeah. Thanks for the review! :D**

**Girl-With-No-Name-x: haha don't die! We still have a few chapters left! DX lol. Aww thanks so much And thanks for being such a good reviewer, from close to the beginning!**

**Nemo-chan: YES! I KNOW! I felt the exact same way! I was like FINALLY! Haha thakns for reviewing**

**Jaisler: Thanks for the question. The thing is, Jaycee feels like she needs to get O's in absolutely everything for OWLS cause she knows she has absolutely no chance of becoming a Healer if she doesn't have a perfect score. Even though History of Magic isn't a prerequisite, she still feels it's important to prove that she's the best. She's gone a little crazy, as you can see. Thanks for reviewing as well! :D Hope you liked the chapter.**

**thebritishone: haha don't worry, I forfeited my French oral for this. Lol I just meant that um… that song reminds me of someone. (someone that I still know tehe) Good God I'd love it if a hot Sirius kissed me before my exams. That would be nice. Welllllll hopefully you don't get tooooo angry at "Gregory" as he's FINALLY done his job! Hahah Thanks so much for the nice things you saiiiid I'm so glad you're STILL reading after so long! I shall look for that song right away!**

**Annerizu-san: Yeah Sirius has a lot to work out. But NOOOOWW Jaycee can help him work it out :D I've got some vague ideas floating around in my head. I'm pretty excited cause the story's almost at the climax! Which… funnily enough… is the end. Ok, I'm ranting now. Sorry. Glad you're liking it! :D And thanks so much for the review**

**ellabellabee: No you don't need History of Magic, but Jaycee's worried if they look at her owls and see anything less than an O they might not accept her. Yes, she's getting completely neurotic. She's way too tired and overthinks everything already. Don't worry though she'll be better soon. Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm so glad you still managed to read the chapter! Hahaha funny puns xD I'm a sucker for those! **

**Night Hawk 97: Thanks so much for the review. Yeah, I know… I've already started freaking about my own exams :/ they're coming up next termmm ahhh! I WISH some hot fictional guy would screw up my concentration! Haha I feel the same way. Dignity? What is this dignity you speak of? Things are going to get better, briefly. I promise. And then, since they're in the middle of a war. Probably a lot worse. And maybe better. I know how it'll end but… spoilers ;) **

**Ludmilda H: I don't know if you've gotten to this chapter and are reading this response. I can't contact you in any way because the email you gave me was just a space. There were no words. Also, you don't have an account so I can't PM you. I'll try to post a message in a previous chapter and hope you get to it. **

**LilyLucy: Thanks for all the help. I've tried a bit to reduce some feelings stuff. Unfortunately this chapter is the one where all the feelings come out so… yeah. But I'll definitely keep that in mind in the future. Yeah, I know it may seem a little unrealistic. I'm also seeing that. But I have seen this sort of obsession happen to someone before, so it isn't completely impossible. Thanks again for the constructive critism, it's always helpful **


	43. The Apple Cart

Ch 43 The Apple Cart _End of June_

_Conclusively, protego remains one of the only shield spells available to wizardkind despite the fact that it has its limitations. We still use it today because there are few options human wizards have in this day and age. Protego is a reliable spell that reacts to the strength of the caster. Therefore it follows that the stronger one is, the more effective the spell would be. Protego reacts in the same way each time it is cast, another reason why wizards still use it now. In my opinion, the world would be very lost without this particular shield charm. _

I put my quill down and leaned back in my chair. Finished! With five minutes to go. I felt great about my final answer, too. I glanced around the hall, watching my fellow fifth years.

"Five more minutes." Flitwick called as we walked down the aisles, checking for any signs of cheating. He walked past James, who yawned and ruffled his hair. I shook my head and smiled. He always did that. I wonder if he even realized he was doing it now. Sirius flashed him the thumbs up and then sought me out to shoot me a wink. I responded with one of my own. I wanted to laugh noticing that both he and I were resting on the back two legs of our chairs. I was learning more about us than I ever had before.

We'd been "an item" for only a few days now. Much to the utter disappointment and horror of the rest of the female population. It felt so... _right_ being with Sirius. Nothing had changed about our relationship except now he could kiss me whenever he felt like it and I wouldn't punch him in the face. And vice versa. Though I very much doubted he would ever punch me in the face. He may be arrogant arsehole sometimes, but he was still the sweetest boy I'd ever met. Aside from Remus.

"Quills down please!" squeaked professor Flitwick. "That means you too Stebbins!"

I saw Sirius gleefully whip his head around searching for the culprit, Stebbins. I rolled my eyes. So immature. Then I smiled. But I loved that about him.

"Please remain seated while I collect your parchment. Accio." He flicked his wand and my paper, along with everyone else's, flew off their desks and into Flitwick's arms. The whole Hall stifled a giggle as the force of all the exams knocked Flitwick backward off his feet. Evan Doyle and Wesley Quentin, Hufflepuff, from the front row helped him back up.

"Thank you... thank you," Flitwick panted. "Very well, everybody, you're free to go."

I hopped up from my seat and sought out Mary. She was talking to Brianne Bell, who had been sitting near her. I pushed through the crowd to join them. Lily and Alice, too, had made their way over. Brianne said goodbye to us and left to join her friends when we arrived.

"Well?" I asked. "How'd you reckon you went?"

"Merlin... I'd be surprised if I scraped an Acceptable for that one." Mary ran her hand through her hair.

"Oh come on. I'm sure you did great." Alice scoffed as we headed towards the door. The marauders were just leaving. Now where did James get that snitch from? I watched in amazement as he made some utterly stupendous catches. He definitely needed to try for seeker next year. Ria Bellary was considering giving up Quidditch for her OWL year, I'd heard.

"Let's go to the tree. We should celebrate! No more pesky exams. And for the love of Merlin, Jaycee, let me cut your hair! You look like a shaggy dog." Lily tugged at my ponytail and rolled her expressive eyes.

"Fine..." I conceded. It was getting much too unkempt and LONG, it was halfway down my back. But I wanted to keep my side parting. I was sick of the fringe. Lily beamed.

"I think I may have confused geminio with Gemini in the second question." Alice brooded.

"Who cares now!" Lily sang happily. She twirled around as we crossed the grounds towards the lake. "I'm so happy OWLS are over forever! And we don't have to worry about marks until the summer!"

We couldn't help but get swept up in Lily's excitement. We linked arms and skipped the rest of the way to the tree, laughing and giggling over all the mistakes we possibly had made in this exam.

"Let's go in." I said suddenly, looking at the cool blue water. Alice looked at me, horrified.

"No thanks!" She said.

"Oh cooome ooon!" Mary pleaded, already taking her shoes off. "It'll be fun!"

"Well.. but... I wanted to go and see Frank." She looked warily at the water. Frank and Alice were officially going out. And they were an incredible couple. Anyone could see that. Alice wanted to do nothing but spend time with him. And him with her.

"No." Lily said, putting her foot down. "We haven't seen you since you started going out. It's time for some girl time! Now strip!" We all laughed at this statement.

"Not that kind of girl time." Mary giggled, taking her robe off and revealing her uniform. Black skirt, significantly shortened, white dress shirt and Gryffindor tie.

"Oh, Lillian." I added, pulling my socks off and letting my hair out.

"Merlin," Lily joked, "You're all such prudes."

We held hands and counted backwards from three. On one we jumped high into the air and landed in the lake with a SPLASH!

It was absolutely freezing! With my head under water I felt as if the cold would implode my brain. But I fought against the pain and opened my eyes. Everything was as clear as crystal. I could see all the way to the bottom, where the Merfolk supposedly lived. It was over 50 ft deep. It really was a whole different world under the water. For a second I wished I could hide here, safe and sound with no war or Voldemort or Vigoraters or… anything. When I could no longer breathe I surfaced, screaming with the others at the cold. We quickly doggie paddled back towards the shore.

"Th-that w-was such a b-b-bad idea!" Alice stuttered, shivering as she climbed out of the lake.

"You know you loved it." I grabbed her and gave her a wet hug. Lily and Mary joined in, all grinning, all shivering.

Suddenly there was a shout from nearer the castle. Then the sound of cruel laughter. We looked up. James and Sirius. Of course. Merlin what was it with those two? Why couldn't they stay out of trouble for two seconds when they were left unattended?

"Oh no. It's Sev! I'll kill James Potter!" Lily snarled and angrily dashed towards them. Mary, Alice and I followed, less upset, for we honestly didn't give a damn what happened to Snivellus.

We arrived just in time to hear Lily shriek, "You think you're funny! But you're just an arrogant, bullying, TOERAG, Potter. Leave him ALONE!"

Sirius glanced at me. I tried to contain a smirk. He grinned and raised an eyebrow, asking me if I was proud. I was indeed. Snape was frozen with soap bubbles pouring out of his mouth. People had surrounded the little scene and were all watching intently. If it had been anyone else, I would have said something. But Merlin, Snape deserved everything he was getting.

"I will if you go out with me," James grinned, looking hopeful. A bit like a puppy really. Mary smacked her forehead. Alice groaned. I must say, I shared their feelings of incredulity. Was James actually that thick? Did he honestly think wearing her down this way would work?

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid." Lily said coldly. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and turned to walk away. Before she could, however, the Impediment Jinx holding Snape had seemingly worn off.

Just as Sirius rolled his eyes and said, "Bad luck, Prongs," Snape whipped around and shot a curse at James. A large gash appeared on his face.

"OI!" Sirius yelled. James growled and quick as a wink had Snape up in the air, hanging by the angle. The crowd cheered. Sirius was on the floor with laughter. Peter and James had doubled over. I, also dying with laughter, searched around for Remus. There he was, sitting a little way off, shaking his head at their antics. He clearly disapproved.

Lily's face twitched. For an instant, I thought she was going to smile. I was clinging to Mary in desperation, I was laughing so hard.

"Let him down." She said.

James beamed, wiping the blood of his face, and replied, "Certainly." Snape fell to the floor in a crumpled heap. He tried to stand up, but before he could Sirius shot a Locomotor mortis. He went rigid as a board and fell over again. Someone clapped.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily screamed, at her breaking point. She yanked her wand out of her waistband, with some difficulty, as she was still wet. I just realized all four of us, actually, were still soaking. I subtly cast a drying spell at Lily, noticing her very pink bra on display to the entire student body.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you." James joked. He knew he was no match for Lily Evans in a rage.

"Take the curse off him, then."

James turned to the crowd and sighed deeply. Sirius came over to me, touched my dripping hair and looked at me questioningly.

"Went for a swim." I shrugged and cast the spell on myself too. He smiled and gave me a quick peck on the lips. I slipped my hand into his.

I'd missed a little of the big argument, but heard Snape say very loudly and very clearly, "I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

My jaw dropped. I was spitting with rage. How DARE he. I widened my eyes at Sirius. He looked ready to kill too. But I held him back, this wasn't our fight.

"Fine." Lily said, calmly and coolly. If she was hurt, she wasn't letting it show. "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."

"Apologize to Evans!" James roared, holding his wand out threateningly.

"I don't want YOU to make him apologize! You're as bad as he is!" Lily spun round to face James again. I could see her now. Her eyes were flashing with rage and her fists were clenched.

"WHAT?" James yelped. "I'd NEVER call you a... a you know what."

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just go off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down the corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK." Lily's pitch and decibel level was rising with each sentence. She turned on her heel and hurried back towards the castle. Mary and Alice immediately rushed after her. I squeezed Sirius' hand and gave him another little kiss before following suit.

"Evans!" James shouted after her. "Hey, EVANS?"

Lily had already gone, though. Merlin James, you really have made a fool of yourself this time, I thought as I followed Lily up to the Gryffindor common rooms. Everything was going nicely for a change. Why couldn't it ever stay that way with the Marauders? Bloody James. Upsetting the whole apple cart, AGAIN. I sometimes wonder if it would be nice to have a peaceful life.

V V V V V V V V

Lily was rifling through her bedside drawer when we crashed through the door after her. Mary and Alice collapsed on her bed and leaned over the side, trying to see what she was doing. I tentatively sat on Alice's bed, next to Lily's. I didn't like my personal space invaded so much when I was upset.

"What're you doing, Lils?" Alice asked, peering over her friend's shoulder.

Mary touched her hair comfortingly. "Are you ok?"

"Severus is a little swine, isn't he Lils?"

"Don't worry. I'm sure he didn't mean it."

"Lily, you can cry. It's ok, we're here."

"Why are you going through your drawer?"

Lily finally found what she was looking for: a photograph, a pressed flower, and a scrappy looking bunch of letters tied with string.

"What's that?" Alice and Mary asked, almost simultaneously. Lily was getting more and more frustrated with them, I could tell. Although it seemed as if they were still a bit oblivious to the fact that she wanted some breathing room.

"Can you guys just LEAVE, please!" She yelled, slamming her fists against the window above the drawers.

Mary and Alice looked hurt and backed away a little. I stood up as well.

"Sorry..." Mary whispered.

"We were just trying to help." Alice spoke indignantly.

"Just go... Please." Lily said more softly, not looking away from the window. She was crying and didn't want us to see.

I nodded towards the door when it looked as if Alice was going to say something else. That girl had no perception of when to quit while she was ahead.

"Jaycee?" Lily asked as I was shutting the door.

"Yeah?" I glanced towards the stairs where Mary and Alice had already begun gossiping away. I crinkled my eyebrows. Mary wasn't a gossiper. When had she changed?

"Will you stay?" She turned around. Her eyes were puffy and her nose was red. She had the photograph crumpled in her hand and had tossed the flower and letters on the bed.

I nodded and stepped back inside.

"I'm so sorry, Lily." I said quietly and held my hand out. She took it and I gave hers a comforting squeeze.

"I-I j-just don't kn-know what I d-d-did that m-made him ch-change!" She sobbed and crumpled in a heap on the floor. I sat down next to her and put my arm around her.

"You didn't do anything at all. This is him! And now you never have to worry about him again." I eased the photo out of her hand to see what it was.

"But... that's just it." She hiccoughed and then looked at me in the eyes. "H-how can not worry about him n-n-now?"

It was of them, of course. I'd inferred that much. Together, before Hogwarts. Snape was much skinnier wearing what looked a bit like a smock and trousers that were much too short for him. He was caught in mid sentence, talking animatedly about something. Lily was looking at him in complete awe, like she'd never seen anyone quite so incredible. I'd gotten so used to moving wizard pictures that seeing the frozen ripples of the lake behind them, the long grass bent sideways in what must have been a light breeze, was strange and almost unnatural. Something from a long, long time ago.

"He was telling me all about Hogwarts. And magic, really. That's mostly what we talked about. All the time. I wanted to know everything. And he wanted to tell me everything." She said sadly, also looking at the picture. "Tuney took this. She was trying to use it as evidence or something. Wanted mum to know who I was hanging out with. She never liked him much, Tuney. Dad didn't really approve, either."

She reached up onto the bed behind her and grabbed the dried flower. It must have been beautiful when it was fresh. She played with the petals a little, enchanting them with her wand to open and close. They began to crumble in her hand. I saw some tears drip onto her skirt from behind the veil of red hair that had covered her face.

"He told me I'd saved him, you know." She whispered, still not looking up from the crumbing flower. "Said he'd have turned out just like his dad if I hadn't been around. That he knew we were going to be friends from the moment he first saw me fly off the swingset in the park. You know the one I'm talking about. Up the top of our street."

Then she closed her fist angrily, the flower turning to dust. "Guess I didn't help him much at all, in the end. He turned out just like his dad. If not worse."

Lily stood up, as if deciding something. She struggled a bit opening the window with one hand, the dust from the flower still in her other. A warm gust of wind lifted the photograph up off the floor and it landed on the other end of the room. Lily's hair gently fanned around her face. She held her hand out the window and let the flower go. The dust drifted upwards and away. It had an almost magical feel to it. Then Lily, on a mission, marched across the room, picked up the photo (now face down), ripped it into halves, quarters, eighths. Then she let it go too. The scraps were whisked away on another gust of wind.

"Help me with these." She untied the string from the letters gave me half. "Light them, like this."

I watched her ignite the corner of one with her wand. They began to smoke as the fire spread. She laughed a little and tossed them out the window, the flames quickly swallowing them and turning them to ashes in midair. I smiled, it looked pretty cool. I copied her. We watched the last of the letters burn and turn to ash, drifting up into the blue sky.

"I feel better now. He's gone from my life. I'm never letting him in again. Mudblood my arse. I'm _proud _of my heritage. Of who I am." She took my hand again, smiling now. "Of who WE are."

"Yeah. We're just as good as any pureblood, if not better than some. Hell, you don't even have to try to be twice as good as most of them!" I sang gleefully. I took her other hand and we joyfully danced and spun around the room.

"We're mudbloods and we're proud!" She laughed.

"We're mudbloods and we're proud!" I repeated, still spinning around.

"We're mudbloods and we're proud!" We sang, laughing and laughing.

"Come and get us Oldy-Mouldy- Voldy, cause we're ready for whatever you've got! Need to get up earlier in the morning to catch us!" Lily beamed at me. My face fell a little with the mention of Voldemort. There was something I needed to tell everyone. And Dumbledore. Something important. Unfortunately, Dumbledore wasn't at the school right now. He'd had to leave again for business unknown to the students and probably the teachers too.

Lily noticed my change in mood and tilted her head to the side. "What's up?"

"Nothing..." I lied. She raised an eyebrow. "Well... it's kind of something I wanted to tell everyone. Something I can't handle alone."

"Let's go get them. Right now!" She let go of me and rushed towards the door. I smiled a little and followed. Lily'd changed so much, too, in the past few years. I remember the first day on the train when she didn't want me to sit with her. I guess we were all changing. For the better? Hopefully. For the worse? Very possibly as well.

V V V V V V V

They looked at me, shocked. Well, at first. Then I was rewarded with a plethora of emotions displayed on each of their faces. Concern. Fear. Sympathy. Worry. Horror.

Sirius wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my face in his jumper. It smelled like him.

"We have to tell Dumbledore!" James said, hopping up. He'd had the gash on his face healed. All that remained of the incident was some ash, travelling due west with the wind. And of course, the fact that Lily would no longer even look James in the eye. Any feelings of tolerance had been not so much washed away as completely annihilated.

"Reality check, Potter… He's not here right now." Lily spat viciously and crossed arms. James sat back down, slightly put out.

"Can I see it, Goldy?" Sirius whispered in my ear. I nodded and fished through my pocket for the letter. He took it from me and opened it, holding it in front of both of us.

The others gathered around Sirius and I, wanted to see too.

_Jaycee Aigleigh, _

_You have been warned. And warned again, now. Failure to respond to this letter will result in the direst of consequences. For everyone. _

It wasn't signed, but it was pretty obvious whom it was from. Sirius had gripped me so closely; I could feel his jaw tighten as he finished reading.

I extricated myself a little from him so that I could address the whole group, "What do I do? I want to ignore it… but…"

"You don't want anyone else to get hurt." Remus said softly. I looked at him, thankful he understood. He gave me a sad, half-smile.

"He could go after anyone! Any one of you. And then what would I do? I'd never forgive myself if something happened and it was all my fault. And we're going home in two days! It'd be so easy to pick one of us off. I'd—I'd… I don't know!" I was losing just a little with the prospect of being to blame for one of my best friends' deaths.

"It's ok, Jace. It's ok." Mary soothed. "Nothing's going to happen. We're all going to be fine. I promise"

"You can't promise that." I contradicted.

"Nothing with ever separate the Marauders and Goldy, remember." Sirius breathed into my ear, so softly, I only just picked it up. He'd said the same thing to me months and months ago. I smiled at him gratefully.

"I can!" Mary said, indignantly. I giggled a little and pushed my hair out of my eyes. Lily'd given it the cut it so badly needed yesterday. It felt strange having short hair again, but I definitely felt much freer.

"So you'll ignore it." James decided.

"I guess so." I glanced across the room at Remus again. He shrugged, noncommittally. I sighed, "I guess so…"

I stared blankly at the letter Sirius was still holding. What would this mean for me? What did it mean for the world?

**WOW god sorry guys. This took a while and a half to post. I've just been soo busy and I know that's not an excuse and blahdiblahdiblah. Anyway. FINALLY. Haha**

**A big thanks to rhapsodieenbleu, **Nemo-chan, **xLoveHarryPotterx, **RMH RMH, **Girl-With-No-Name-x. **LizziePixie-Aiko, **Night Hawk 97, **LittleMissDreamer7, **XxSiriuslyinluvxX, **Luli Cullen, **Noelle Seren, **THWATT18, **Disler, **young-lovers-eyes, **AngelicScream, **Phoenix Patronus

**Sorry I didn't respond to each and every review like a normally do, I've completely run out of time and can only answer the questions. Sorry. But thanks to everyone who reviewed I love love love reading them! They make me want to keep writing :D  
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**XxMixedXxLoverXx: Thanks for the review, to start with To answer your question, I'm taking this up until either the middle or the end of 6****th**** year for part 1. I know it's a weird place to stop but there's something very important that happens then and it's just a good place to end. **

**LilyLucy: Thanks for the help, I was just wondering if you could help me improve by maybe finding some examples of what you didn't like so I can fix it and stuff? Thank you and I'm so glad you found last chapter more realistic.**

**Annerizu-san: Thank you for reviewing! As I said in XxMixedxXLoverXx's review, I'm taking this part up until the end or middle of 6****th**** year. I haven't decided yet, we'll see what feels right at the time. But then I'm doing a part 2 and a part 3. It's based around and begins and ends with the three divisions of Jaycee's life. Hope you keep reading!**


	44. The Last Mistake

**GUYS I HAVE A BOOK COVER NOW! xD Excitement! And yikes it's perfect too! I almost DIED (not kidding) when I saw it! Longer A/n with apology for super late update at the end D: **

_A REMINDER OF WHAT HAPPENED LAST CHAPTER: Owls finished, Jaycee and co swam in the lake in their uniforms, the infamous Snape scene, James cursed him, Jaycee wasn't particularly fazed, neither was anyone else. Except for Lily of course. Lily gets hell devs when Snape calls her a mudblood. Alice and Mary don't give her any space and get all gossipy. Jaycee realises they're changing and so is everyone else. Jaycee and Lily rip up Snape mementos and relish in their muggle-birth. Jaycee remembers that she was sent another letter from Voldemort and tells the rest of the group. They all decide she should ignore it. The end. _

Ch 44 The Last Mistake _Two days later_

I'd made a decision. It was a hard decision. But I wasn't going home these holidays. I wasn't. I was sixteen years old now. It was time to step up and decide what I wanted to do in my life. Spending two months trapped in an empty house without the comfort of the magical world, well, I'd realized I couldn't do it this time.

Sirius told me, in private, that I was doing the right thing. That I shouldn't have to put up with what my father puts me through. That leaving was better for everyone. James also had told me this. He'd begged me to stay with him, Remus and Peter this summer. Sirius wouldn't be going, unfortunately; his parents wouldn't let him. I'd said no at first. But somehow… somewhere along the line, James had managed to wear me down.

But something about this decision felt really wrong. Every argument I made for leaving seemed repetitive or insignificant next to the only one for staying. Emily. This meant I wouldn't be seeing Emily this summer. But she was almost 11 years old now. That's how old I was when I first learned to fend for myself. Guilt. That's what I was feeling. But from the sound of it, Emily wasn't spending much time at home these days either. Fed up with Dad's neglect, she'd all but moved into a girl from her school's house.

I sat on the train, on my way to James'. I held Emily's most recent letter in my hands, rereading it for the 20th time, trying to reassure myself that I hadn't made a mistake.

_Dear Jaycee, _

_Guess what! Today my class went on a field trip. They took us to a museum. Remember when you took me to an art museum? And I said it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. That was before I knew about magic, of course. But this museum was on history. It was really wicked. I learned all about King Henry VIII. Do you know he had 6 wives! And killed 2 of them! He reminds me of that bad wizard Sirius Black and you told me about before. Just killing people like that. And being so powerful. _

_How is Sirius Black? How are you, too? Haha don't worry, you'll always be my favourite. It gets kind of lonely around here when Dad's not around. Well... it's better than when he is around, but that doesn't matter... I'm glad you're going to have fun with your friends these holidays. Actually, you don't have to worry about me because I don't get so lonely anymore now that I'm at Christie's house most of the time. We had another sleepover yesterday. I told you about Christie, remember. She's super nice. You know, her Dad's never hit her. Ever! Can you believe it! _

_Do you still miss Mummy? Because sometimes... I do. A lot. That boy that I liked laughed at me for crying last week when the English teacher handed out peppermints for a treat. Do you remember that's what she always smelled like? Peppermints and rose petals. I remember. I don't like that boy anymore. Christie hit him when he laughed. I'm so glad she's my friend. Do you remember when before, I though she was scary? She was just shy. Like me. But we have eachother now. _

_Your last letter didn't tell me a lot about what's happening at your school. How were your last few days? Are Lily and James Potter dating yet? How's Mary? Did you do well on your big tests? We have a big test tomorrow on what we learned at the museum. I should be studying, but I wanted to write to you instead. Mouse is being funny. He's pecking one of my socks to pieces! And then when it doesn't taste good he hoots and looks at me like it's my fault! Christie loves Mouse. She thinks it's so cool that I have a pet owl! She asked her Mum if she could have one too. If she gets an owl we can send each other letters all the time!_

_Have fun at James' house! I'm going to Christie's house for a few weeks this summer. So we'll both be at friends' houses! See you at Christmas. You can meet Christie! _

_Lots of kisses, _

_Emily_

I felt a tear leak down my cheek as I read. Emily didn't need me anymore. That should be my reassurance. But… well… it just hurt.

"Goldy?" Sirius whispered, flipping his dark hair out of his eyes to look at me properly. "What's wrong?"

He wiped away the tear with his thumb, watching me. The others were loudly discussing the last match of the season. Slytherin vs Hufflepuff.

"You dumbass! Of course Malcombe cheated! Did you not see him swipe Reeves across the face?" James scoffed at Peter. Lily looked around for someone to roll her eyes at. But Mary was preoccupied with Remus in the corner of the compartment and Alice had disappeared with Frank minutes before.

"Goldy?" Sirius asked again, tilting my head gently to face him.

"Nothing… It's stupid." I mumbled, pushing his hand away.

"It's not stupid if you're upset about it." He pulled me close, right by his side.

"I hate you…" I whispered in his ear.

"Feeling's mutual." He winked. "But really, what is it? Are you worried about Emily?"

I sighed and looked back at the letter. "No… the opposite." My hoarse voice grew and softer with each syllable. "I'm worried that… that she doesn't need me anymore."

Sirius looked at me with those deep, silver eyes. A look I could only describe as emanating love.

"She'll always, ALWAYS need you." He kissed my forehead tenderly. "You don't ever have to worry about that, love."

I didn't believe him. He could probably tell because he continued with, "Maybe she's growing up a little now, but she'll always need her older sister. I mean, you practically raised her. She won't forget that if she lives to be 100."

"Really?" I asked in a raw voice, holding onto Sirius like my lifeline. He didn't say anything but nodded and gave me an eskimo kiss. I responded by leaning in for a real one. I was going to miss him so much these holidays. And him, I _was_ worried about. The lifestyle of a pureblood was cruel and cold. And Sirius was neither of those things.

"I love you." He whispered in my ear and shut his eyes. "I love you. I love you. I... love you." And opened them. "I love you."

He spoke as if he was savouring each syllable. Understanding the words more than speaking to me. I pushed away some hair that had fallen back into his eyes.

"I love you too." I grinned and, again, pressed my lips gently to his. And I meant it. At least, I thought I did. What was love, if it wasn't this? Isn't love the feeling of wanting to spend every single moment with him. Knowing that you'd happily take a hundred Crucios or even death before giving him up. Needing to touch him, hold him, kiss him and never let him go. Putting him before everything and everyone. Being surprised each day by something he does for me. Or tells me. Or shows me. Looking into his eyes... and seeing your own soul reflected there.

V

"Ok Jace… just a warning," James began as the four of us waited by the exit of the station for his parents. Sirius had disappeared on the platform with Regulus and a stern, aristocratic-looking woman a few moments ago. To say he didn't look happy would be an understatement.

James scanned the parking lot. "My parents can be a bit…" He paused and glanced at a tiny purple Bug screaming into the parking lot. The brakes screeched as the car nearly took out an old lady with her trolley. Instead, it backed into a "no parking" sign while trying to pull in beside us.

"Well…" James looked a bit nervous. Remus and Peter glanced at me with smirks on their faces. "I'll just let you meet them yourself, then."

Remus opened the back door and scooted in. James pushed me in, following after. Peter trailed behind, squeezing himself into the tiny car too.

"Hi mum, dad." James smiled as he struggled with the broken seatbelt.

"James! Oh, honey we missed you! But you're not going to be able to sleep in your room. Your father lost control of a bludger and it smashed through the roof. Sorry, dear." A youngish woman with jet-black hair and bright blue eyes chattered. Her grin reached from ear to ear.

"DAD!" James groaned and smacked his forehead.

"Son, how's it going?" James' father turned around to face us too. My breath caught in my chest. He looked identical to James. from the laughter lines at the edge of each eye, I could have been seeing double. It was… there was no other word for it, mind-boggling!

"Your mother accidently sacked the house-elf too. Gave her the washing to fold, bloody woman. But don't worry we've asked her to stay on, knowing how the whole house would fall to pieces without her for two seconds." He continued and rolled his eyes at his wife. She smacked him around the head.

"Peter, Remus! How nice to see you boys again!" She beamed at the boys who greeted her warmly like old friends. "And who's this?"

"Hi Mrs. Potter. I'm Jaycee, James' friend." I smiled, trying to make a good impression. I loved James' parents already.

"This is theeee Jaycee, mum. Remember, I told you she'd be coming." He gave his mother a meaningful look when she looked blank, "Jaycee is Lily's friend."

"Oh Vigorater Jaycee Aigleigh, of course! Hello, dear. So nice to meet you. You must help me with some healing spells. I'm absolutely useless. I'm Belle, by the way." Belle nattered to me as she floored the clutch and shifted into first gear.

"And I'm Harry. Merlin, it's hard to get a word in edgeways with this one." Harry laughed and poked his wife in the stomach.

"OI! No touching the driver. It's rule number ONE, Harold David Potter! Merlin." Belle lurched forward about an inch before stalling. Peter was clutching onto the armrest like his life depended on it.

"Buckle up, everyone." James hissed out the side of his mouth.

"Here we GOOOOOOO!" Belle shrieked happily as she punched the accelerator. I gripped Remus and James, on either side of me as the car lurched again. Straight into a large sign advertising the opening of a bank. The car stalled. Again. James exchanged a look with Remus and rolled his eyes.

"Oh well," Harry sighed, opening the Daily Prophet, "No one cares about banks anyway."

"True, sweetie, very true." Belle agreed.

"Yes, but all the same let's try to get home without destroying anything else, ok Mum. And don't encourage her!" James complained, burying his head in my arm. I patted his head in mock sympathy.

Somehow we managed to get home unscathed. I learned on my journey that Harry was an Auror and Belle was an interior designer. They'd met at Hogwarts "yonks ago" and had fallen in love in seventh year after a nasty incident of Harry accidentally cursing his arm off and Belle, trying to fix it, vanishing the other one. They told us stories about James' childhood, which had all of us, apart from James, in peals of laughter. The Bug was their idea to blend in with the muggle world. I didn't try telling them that getting a bright purple Bug was hardly the way to blend in. James had told them repeatedly that it was a deathtrap, but they refused to get rid of it. 'It's our second child.' Harry liked to say.

I felt so at ease with these eccentric people. It was no wonder James was so easy to get along with. I watched Harry reach over the front seat to ruffle his son's hair and felt a pang of longing shoot through me. That would be nice. I wouldn't mind having a father. Belle tutted at Remus and Peter's shared story of ways James found to torment Lily. I noticed the small smile playing at her lips and the hole in my heart where a mother should be widened.

"Annnnndddd…. Here we are!" Belle chirped, pulling into the driveway and managing to squash a few of the flowerbeds completely. "Oh dear, Weely just fixed those roses."

James sighed, but couldn't contain his smile. It must be hard leaving these people at the end of each holiday.

"Ok, everyone." Harry said, unloading the boot of the car. He'd placed an undetectable extension charm on it so all our bags managed to fit. "Grab what's yours and Belle and I share whatever you forget."

I giggled and bunny-hopped my trunk down the long driveway. It was a beautiful house. More like a mansion really. But unlike my own house, it was clearly a home. Little things like potato-headed gnomes running around the garden, strange beds of flowers mixed in with some Muggle species, a faded red Quaffle sitting forlornly in the bushes, mud crusted shoes left on the front porch, a half painted door, and of course, half of the ceiling caved in.

"Merlin's balls, Dad, look at the roof!" James cried, dropping his trunk on Peter's foot.

"Owwwww!" Peter shrieked and hopped around in a freaky war dance, holding his sore foot. Remus rolled his eyes and flicked his wand to levitate our bags.

"Oi," Harry said, "is that underage magic I detect? Remus, surely not from the prefect."

Remus bowed his head in mock repent.

"Hmmm I think we'll let it slide just this once." Harry winked.

"He says that every time he sees Moons doing magic." James explained, ignoring Peter's pain for the moment and raised his voice to address his father, "BUT NOT ME RIGHT DAD?"

"Son, if you were as responsible as your friend, we may consider it… however… you seem to have taken—let's call it the 'Belle route' in life." Harry grinned as Belle shot a curse at him from the car. It missed and smashed through the front window.

"Good to be home." I heard James mumble under his breath.

_2 weeks later_

I plopped down on one of the comfy chairs in the lounge; called affectionately by the Potter family, the Hovel. Being such a big house, there were scores of rooms. And many lounges. This one was by far the least formal. Not one piece of furniture matched, the carpet was decorated with years worth of spills, rings where scalding hot cups had been placed adorned tables and the mantelpiece was dusted with green Floo powder, never bothered to be cleaned up. It was by far my favourite room in the house.

"Hiya Jaycee." Peter yawned and stretched on the couch.

"Hey, Pete. Where's the others?" I asked, peering into a half-finished cup of hot chocolate that was on the table next to me.

"Moony's reading some book he dug up in the library the other day. Prongs, I think he's gone to bed?" Peter replied. I preformed a heating spell on the hot chocolate and took a sip. Tasted fine. The one rule about the Potter home was that we were allowed to use magic as long as it was never used against someone. Harry had made that very clear from the very start.

"Where'd you go?" Peter asked curiously.

"Decided to do a bit of Quidditch practice. Couldn't find James so I had to enchant the Quaffles to fly around." I indicated to a large bruise beginning to grow on my face. I hadn't bothered fixing it yet, too much effort and I was shattered as it was.

"I think he went to the city. Said he had to get something, he wasn't very specific." Peter scratched his head, trying to remember. "Well, you know James, he's generally rather vague." Peter glowed as he said this, clearly very happy that he did know James.

"Okie dokie, Pete. Well," I downed the rest of the hot chocolate and placed it back on the table. "I think I'm going to get ready for bed. You should do the same. It's getting pretty late. James'll probably be back soon."

I climbed the endless stairs and made my way down the rabbit warren of passageways until I found my room. There were enough bedrooms that we each got our own, all connected by doors that we'd decided to leave open. Belle had called in a specialist to fix the roof the second day of holidays so we'd only had to sleep on sofas and floors for one night. This was the life and I sure was living it.

"Hey, Rem." I called, spying him studiously reading away on his bed in the room next to mine.

"Hey Jace, come here! I've found something pretty fascinating." He replied excitedly. I smiled to myself and crossed through to his room, much neater than my own. I glanced through the door on the other side of his room as I sat on the bed. Sirius' room. So neat and tidy. So obviously not occupied by one Sirius Black. I missed him. We all did.

"—which provides protection against Stupefy completely if used correctly! And according to the book, it doesn't even require much skill to execute." Remus read from his Charms book enthusiastically.

"Oh yeah," I leaned over him to read, not really paying much attention.

"Check this out…There's so many" He flipped to the index and ran his fingers down a list of spells under 'Defensive Charms.' My heart leapt instantly as I spied the words 'Avadae Vindica.'

"REMUS!" I grabbed the book out of his hand and flipped to the correct page.

"What? What is it?" He sat up and craned his neck to see what I was looking at.

"Ok, you can't tell any of the others this," I explained as I searched the page for the reference, "It's top secret, but I trust you. Aha! Avadae Vindica, first recorded in 212 BC. The debate among Magical Historians is currently still very much alive to whether the enchantment exists or is mere myth. According to legend, the half-breed 'Vigorater' has the ability to harness its power and create a shield against the Killing Curse—"

I paused. The book then went on to discuss the Killing curse in greater detail. Understandable, as 'Unforgivable Curses' was the title of the chapter.

"Wait." Remus' jaw dropped and snatched the book back, rereading the passage. "Are you saying that you can—you can… stop… Avada Kedavra?"

"Um… well, no. It could all just be a myth. Dumbledore doesn't even know, I mean, he told me about it, but he isn't—" I mumbled, trying not to get his hopes up.

"Dumbledore told you about this?" Remus interrupted.

"Yes…" I said, unsure where he was going with this.

"Well that settles it. It must be true!" He sang happily. "Ok, who wrote this book? We need to find as much information about the spell as possible."

"Remus, seriously. You don't think I've been looking?" I said, exasperated.

He completely ignored me and flopped backwards onto his pillow. "Dr. Nihan Verma. We'll have to do some digging on this guy. Hard, but not impossible."

I opened my mouth, not completely sure of what I was going to say to stop Remus in his tirade, but knew it would be along the lines of something rather discouraging, possibly sarcastic to really get the message across. James, however, picked that exact moment to scream at the top of his lung that HE WAS HOOOMEEE! Bloody Potter. Remus smiled knowingly and left me to my thoughts to go and greet James.

Scowling, I trudged back to my bedroom and climbed into bed. I shot a spell at each connecting door to shut and lock them. I'd learned on the first night that James was something of an insomniac who liked to have three in the morning chats with the people in the closest proximity to him. I, on the other hand, didn't.

Pushing thoughts of Avadae Vindica and Remus' involvement aside, I couldn't help thinking about Sirius. He hadn't replied to my letter asking if he got home safely. And then he hadn't replied to my letter asking if he got the original. I dearly hoped he was ok. No one had heard from him in two weeks. I don't think I'd know what to do with myself if something had happened to him.

I lazily shined the light through my index finger, primarily to heal the bruise, but also because seeing my soul lighting up the room reminded me of Sirius. Could I really protect him from the worst fate? If I could… well… I needed to do everything in my power to learn how. It was with that thought that I felt a new determination surge through me. I was going to do this. The first thing to do would be to contact this Dr. Verma person. I'd be damned if I let something as trivial as a wizard spell harm any one of my friends.

"JAYCEE AIGLEIGH GET YOUR ARSE OUT HERE THIS INSTANT!" Someone was incessantly banging on my door.

"WHAT?" I screeched, finally sitting up in annoyance. Hair wildly standing up, pyjama shorts twisted around uncomfortably, squinty eyes. I was a mess. Definitely not a morning person.

"It's morning! And you locked your doors again!" I now recognized the voice as James. I should've known. This was something of a daily ritual at the Potters'.

"Really? Did I?" I moaned and pulled the covers back over my head.

"We're coming in in three seconds!" He yelled. "THREE."

Pause. I was so not falling for that again.

"TWO."

Uh-uh not going to happen.

"ONE!"

"Ok ok, I'm coming! And by the way, I lock those doors for a reason!" I tumbled out of bed, into my slippers and stumbled towards the door, muttering about interrupted sleep patterns as I opened the door. He got me every time.

"Jace!" James grinned and pulled me into a bear hug.

"Ifshonoatgudfarulefmelone." I mumbled into his woolly jumper.

"What?" James asked, ignoring my threat completely.

"She said, 'if you know what's good for you, you'll leave her alone." Remus, who looked rather groggy himself, sighed and pulled James off me.

James looked at Remus with reverence and awe. "You're incredible. How do you do it?"

"How are you so happy?" I asked, annoyed, "It's like 8am. But every morning it's like friggin' Christmas."

"Let's go eat! I decided last night that we're going to London today. We're going to see a Mooby" James announced, looking pleased with himself.

"I'm sorry, we're going to see a what?" I asked, bewildered.

"A Mooby? It's a muggle thing, you should know about them." James looked wounded. I stared at him for a moment. When it finally clicked I couldn't help but break down into a helpless fit of giggles.

"A-a.. you m-mean a-a—A movie!" I screeched with laughter. James looked to Remus for confirmation that what he had said was indeed wrong, who shrugged but gave me a wink. Peter began giggling too, finally understanding what was funny.

"REMUS YOU HAVE A PRESENT!" Belle shouted with glee as we descended, in varying degrees of hysterics, down the grand staircase. She was waving a large cardboard box around her head excitedly.

"Ooh, why?" James asked, doing his best to direct the attentions away from his embarrassing mistake.

"It's probably from my uncle. Belated birthday present. He lives in America and has to send stuff through Muggle post so things take ages to arrive." Remus took the box and sat down at the breakfast table where Weely had prepared, as usual, enough food to feed a small army.

"Aren't you going to open it?" Peter asked, also sitting down.

"Mm not yet. I'm hungry." He smirked, knowing he was keeping everyone on tenterhooks, and piled a large amount of scrambled eggs on his plate and drowned them in ketchup.

"Oh for the love of Merlin, Moony. I want to see what it is!" James cried, more excited than Remus about the surprise present.

"James. Shut up and eat your breakfast. He can open it whenever he wants." Belle smacked her son around the head and forced him to sit down with the rest of us.

"Muuum! That's called child abuse. I'm going to report you." James complained. Belle rolled her eyes and took a massive bite of a hash brown. I bit my lip, trying to ignore James' ignorance.

"Remus, open the bloody present or I will. James is giving me a headache." I glared at James who looked slightly injured.

"Ok ok, I'm opening it." Remus smiled and slowly, deliberately eased off the tape. Just as James looked ready to burst with excitement, a video camera fell out of the cardboard box. Everyone looked very confused at the gift. I'd forgotten they all came from Wizarding families.

"How does it work?" Belle asked with fascination. Remus turned it around in his hands and shrugged.

"Rem, pass it here." I took it from him and pressed record. I pointed the camera at Remus. "It's called a video camera. They're really, really super high tech in the muggle world. This is how they make Moobies, James. You press that button and it's like wizard pictures and a pensieve combined. Say hi Remus." I addressed the camera, "This is his first look at a video camera. The beginning of what I imagine will be a long and beautiful friendship."

He was looking more and more impressed with the black camera as I showed him each intricate detail of how to work it. Little did I know how attached Remus would become to that thing.

"Oh there's a card." Belle grabbed the piece of paper. " 'Dear Remus, Happy Belated Birthday, make some memories for your old uncle. We all miss you over here. Love, the Lupins.' Aww that's cute," she cooed.

He took it from me and introduced each of the people in the room, recording as we ate our breakfast. Needless to say this did not go down well.

"Say hi to the camera everyone." Remus hopped up from his chair and cantered around the room, waving the video camera in all our faces.

"Holy shit, Uncle Lupin's created a monster." James looked at Remus in fear.

"It's July, 1977, at the Potter house. Here sit the Marauders, minus Padfoot, who'll I'll introduce later, Jace and James' mum. Harry's at work at the moment. We're all eating breakfast." Remus commented, panning and zooming around the room. He zoomed in on my face. "Jaycee, looking…er… lovely this morning."

"Remus! Turn it off!" I jumped up and tried to wrestle the camera away from him.

"Oh no, you're not taking away my baby that quickly!" Remus fought back.

James and Peter shouted encouragingly to me, James banging his spoon on the table

"KIDS!" Belle yelled. No one stopped shouting.

"Remus, put that bloody camera down!"

"Jaycee! JAYCEE!"

"CHILDREN! You need to STOP YELLING!"

"OW, Jace, that's my face!"

We were all shouting so loudly that no one noticed the fire turn a startling acid green. No one noticed the bedraggled and severely beaten boy step out from the fireplace.

"Hello?" He asked tentatively. And we turned to face him in horror. Blood-soaked shirt. Ripped and tattered. His arm hung funnily by his side. No shoes. Hair matted with sweat and blood. Broken nose and the darkest black eye I'd ever seen. And, most terrifying of all, one long thin cut across his neck, like someone had pressed a knife to his throat briefly.

"JAYCEE AIGLEIGH YOU LET GO OF MY BABY RIGHT NOW!" Remus yelled. And then he turned too. And then. Silence. No one spoke upon seeing Sirius. Belle gasped and rushed over to him. I released my hold on the camera to cover my mouth in shock.

"And that's… that's Padfoot." Remus whispered. James grabbed the camera and turned it off. Remus did not protest.

"Sirius, what happened?" Belle cried, pulling him into a hug. I rushed over too and joined their hug. This caused everyone to join in, crushing poor Sirius in an enormous group hug.

"Ok, everyone, back off." James announced, pulling Peter, the closest to him, back. Everyone immediately gave him some room. Except me. I refused to go take one step. I slipped my hand into his and gave James a look that clearly said, 'try to make me move, I dare you.' I felt around his wrist a bracelet. It was the gift I'd bought him for his last birthday. I'd found it in a tucked away trinket shop in Saturson Alley. When I'd touched it, I'd known it was perfect. I touched it and felt safe, like there was no Voldemort. There were no death eaters. I touched it and felt warm. Like I'd swallowed a mouthful of the soup that Sirius had fed me after I'd collapsed that one time. My saving grace. When I touched it I felt loved. Like Sirius was standing right there beside me. And I'd known it was perfect for him.

Sirius looked at me and gave me a weak smile.

"What happened, Pads?" Remus whispered.

"I—I did it. I left them. Forever this time." He spoke in a shaky voice, but I could hear the strength behind it. This had been probably one of the most difficult things he had to do. And he did it. I noticed James out of the corner of my eye. He was knowingly smiling at Sirius and nodding, like he'd won a particularly nasty argument. He didn't look shocked at his best friend's injuries in the slightest. And suddenly, I knew where he'd gone yesterday.

He'd gone to save Sirius' life.

**Oh my god! You guys are all legends. I don't even know how to apologize for this agonizingly long almost month of no updates. I don't know about you guys but for me, it's been like a barren desert of misery and devastation. I've been studying and writing exams and they ended last week. FINALLY. Anyway, I immediately sat down and wrote two lengthy (hopefully good) chapters for The Healer. It's so great to be back with Jaycee, and you all of course! Your reviews are honestly one of the only things that kept me going over these long and writing-free weeks. I LOVE YOU ALL. **

**A Big thank you to:**

**Lilirox187 **Luli Cullen** onedirectiionxx **Night Hawk 97 **RMH RMH** Nemo-chan **XxSiriuslyinluvxX **rape so die in bluh (lol you) **Girl-With-No-Name-x **The Almighty Pyro **Soaring Pandas **XxBookXxWormXx **totallyobsessed123 **Annerizu-san **youhadmeattoast** Summer Leah **Pipa6991 **Lollypops101

**Sorry I can't answer every single one of you like I used to. I've been rereading the guidelines since my Hunger Games story got removed for having URLs or something I'm actually not too sure about and super long A/N are actually not allowed. AWKS. So yeah. REALLY don't want this to get removed too. Sorry**


	45. The Mooby

**This chapter is dedicated to jesskalynn4.**

**I'm going to apologize properly at the bottom. For now, a quick refresher because it's been so long even I don't remember what happened in the previous few chapters :/**

_Sirius and Jaycee are going out._

_They finished their OWLs_

_The whole Lily/Snape/"I don't need help from a Muggle" scene happened_

_Jaycee got a second letter from Voldemort which was a little more threatening that the last_

_Oh! And we mustn't forget about Avadae Vindica which may be a myth, Dumbledore's not sure, but Vigoraters can harness their power to create a shield against Avada Kedavra. _

_Jaycee's not going home for the holiday's, instead she's staying with James. _

_Emily sent her a letter and she has a friend called Christie. Jaycee's sad because she thinks Emily doesn't need her anymore _

_We met James' parents, Belle and Harry and they drive a purple bug and accidentally crash bludger's into the roof. _

_Remus got a video camera from his uncle and he loves very much and has begun to record absolutely every aspect of the Marauder's and Jaycee's lives. _

_Remus and Jaycee found a book by Dr. Nihan Verma that mentioned Avadae Vindica and are very excited. _

_Sirius left his parents after James gave him a talking to and has just shown up at the Potters looking pretty worse for wear. _

"_**What happened, Pads?" Remus whispered. **_

"_**I—I did it. I left them. Forever this time." He spoke in a shaky voice, but I could hear the strength behind it. This had been probably one of the most difficult things he had to do. And he did it. I noticed James out of the corner of my eye. He was knowingly smiling at Sirius and nodding, like he'd won a particularly nasty argument. He didn't look shocked at his best friend's injuries in the slightest. And suddenly, I knew where he'd gone yesterday. **_

_**He'd gone to save Sirius' life. **_

Ch 45 The Mooby

No one said anything for a long time. We moved Sirius to the lounge and sat him down on the couch. I sat next to him, refusing to let go of his hand.

"Jaycee?" James said gruffly, like he was holding back tears. He nodded towards Sirius and I immediately caught on. In shock, I'd forgotten I could heal.

At once golden light sprung to my fingertips. I briefly recalled how much effort it had taken me to achieve this a few years ago. It gave me hope that one day I may also perfect Avadae Vindica too. I touched Sirius' arm first, the worst of his injuries. He winced and then I watched as the pain seeped away. Slowly, gently, I healed each of his injuries. I couldn't clean away the blood, but a hot shower easily could.

I realized, as the light dimmed and vanished, that I was crying.

"Don't cry, Goldy. Please don't cry. Thank you." Sirius begged and pulled me close to him. "I'm ok. Just please don't cry. I hate it when you're sad."

"Sorry… I'm just—just so p-proud of you. And s-so s-sad for you." I sniffed. He stroked my hair softly. I felt Remus join us on the couch and his hand's weight comfortingly on my shoulder.

"We're all proud of you, Sirius." Belle's voice shook a little too, like she was finding it hard to remain strong for the rest of us. "Ok, kids. Sirius probably needs a shower and a proper meal. You look like you haven't eaten in days. Sirius you know where your room is. Everyone else, breakfast is getting cold."

I didn't want to leave him. I truly didn't, but I knew Belle was right. I glanced at James as we walked back into the kitchen. His face was emotionless. I grabbed him back, away from the others.

"Thank you, James. I know what you did yesterday. You probably saved him." I said.

James smiled. "Someone needed to do it. He just needed a little push. It's been coming for years you know."

"What—what did you say to him?" I asked tentatively. Something I'd been wondering. Sirius was stubborn. It would take one hell of a conversation to get him to leave Reg, who I knew he still thought he could save. Who was I to tell him his most desperate desire was a useless fantasy.

James didn't say anything for a while, but continued smiling. Finally, just as I'd assumed the conversation was over, he spoke. "I asked him what you would tell him to do. From then on we were away."

"I'm so glad he has you, James." Was the only thing I could think of to say. James enveloped me in a bear hug.

"I'm glad he has _you_, Jace."

V

Sirius was looking much better as he re-joined us in the kitchen slash dining room. We had attempted to go back to eating normally, but it was a bit of a challenge to forget the severely abused teenager just upstairs.

"Sirius, you must be absolutely starved!" Belle remarked, pulling back the empty chair next to her. "I made breakfast, come eat something."

"You made breakfast?" Sirius asked, a little confused. James cracked up, probably imagining what the meal would look like if his mother had indeed cooked it.

"Ah, you caught me! It was Wheely. No points though, you've seen my real cooking." Belle giggled, summoning a plate.

Sirius laughed too and piled his plate with everything he could find. Clearly he didn't want to discuss what had happened and just to continue as normal. We were happy to oblige, not particularly wanting to remind him of what must have gone on. We could all imagine fairly well. Me, perhaps a little better than the others.

I watched wide-eyed as he shovelled food into his mouth, not even pausing for breath. How could one human being fit that much food in their mouth at once?

"This is normal for around this time of summer." James hid a smile by shoving a few rashers of bacon in his mouth.

"I've always said he goes through a major growth spurt once a year." Remus interjected.

"But I disagree. I say it's his old hag of a mother and complete ass of father starving him half to death." Belle said grimly.

"Mum." James hissed. "Jaycee's here."

"Oh I'm sure she hears worse from you boys." Belle threw her napkin at her son.

I nodded. Fair point.

"I think it's both." Peter said seriously, missing the joke a little.

"Oo guysh luff food ash smell." Sirius mumbled, looking grave.

"All I got there was 'food.'" I pulled a tongue. Sirius pulled one back at me, displaying half chewed egg and toast. Charming.

"Oooh lovely Sirius, just what I needed this early in the morning." I covered my eyes in mock disgust.

James snorted in amusement.

"Well, hate to break up the reunion, but if you remember correctly Jace, we have to go into the city." Remus gave me a look that plainly said, 'Dr. Nihan Verma.'

"Oh. Yes." I widened my eyes in response. "James wanted to see a movie, that's right."

Remus looked bemused. Clearly he assumed we were leaving the others behind. I agreed. There was no way I was dragging all of them into this. But we needed an excuse. And James' desire to act like a Muggle was perfect. I aimed a kick at him under the table.

"Oh right! The movie." Remus gasped in pain.

James, oblivious as always, began chatting about how amazing Muggles were and how excited he was to see a real live movie! Sirius, on the other hand, definitely noticed our little exchange. He didn't look too pleased at being left out of the loop.

We helped Belle clear up, quickly changed and met in the entrance hall within an hour. James was getting more and more excited at the prospect of heading to Muggle London. He'd only been for the first time yesterday, when he'd convinced Sirius to run away. This was where he'd seen an advertisement for a movie, Close Encounters of the Third Kind. 'It's about aliens!' He told us with glee.

"Be home by six! Wheely's making lasagne! Your favourite, Siri." Belle called from the kitchen as we each grabbed a handful of green Floo powder.

"Siri-poo." I winked and gave Sirius a peck on the cheek. He blushed crimson at the mention of his most hated nickname. Oh, how I love tormenting my boyfriend. Merlin, it's so weird calling him that… my boyfriend. We'd been friends for so long it just sounded so funny! I supposed I'd have to get used to it.

"The Leaky Cauldron." James said and disappeared with a flare of the flames.

"See ya on the other side, sexy." I elbowed Sirius in the rib. He grabbed my hand and spun me to face him.

"Not if I see you first." He, then, dipped me and leaned down to passionately kiss me, just like a cliché movie. He was such a retard sometimes. Even so, I felt the tinglies start in my stomach and work their way up to my head.

"You're a loser, you know that right?" I whispered in his ear.

"I'm your loser." He nipped my ear and pushed me towards the fireplace with a smile.

Still tingling a little from our first real kiss all summer, I stumbled into the fire and stated my desired destination as clearly as I could.

Luckily, when I finally stopped spinning through grates and emerged, there was James waiting rather impatiently for the rest of us.

"Merlin, you took your time didn't you!?" He scowled as Sirius appeared behind me. "Ohh…" He said, suddenly smirking.

I whipped around to face Sirius. "What!"

"Nothing, love, nothing at all." Sirius grinned and poked me in the side. I squirmed away from him, barging right into Remus as he appeared in the grate. We both tumbled back into the fireplace, Peter joining us on the floor as finally, he too Floo-ed in and stumbled over.

"Doggie pile!" James yelled and dive-bombed Peter. "Pads, you should feel right at home!"

He stuck his leg out and hooked Sirius' ankles causing him to trip and land face first on the top of our mess of arms and legs. We all lay there; laughing so hard I was a little worried about bursting a blood vessel. We were all together again. The Marauders and Goldy. Never separated for long, just as Sirius had promised so long ago.

"Can I help you children?" The barman cautiously approached us, raised eyebrows.

"Nup. Thanks for the consideration though." James grinned and pushed himself up. The sight of him, standing there, not ashamed at all of his messed up hair, askew glasses, and soot covered face made me burst into another peal of laughter.

"Okay…" The barman said, not entirely convinced he shouldn't throw us out right now. "We don't serve minors."

"Actually I am pretty thirsty. Willing to over look the rules?" Sirius quipped and grabbed onto James' shirttail to help him up. Remus pulled me up with him and I managed to drag Peter to his feet too.

The barman shook his head in disbelief and returned to the bar where I could see a younger man, probably a trainee, desperately trying to contain his amusement. The older man exited with some plates and glasses.

"Hey, names' Tom." The trainee said as Sirius ordered a glass of water. "You kids are hilarious. I've never seen the old man look so shocked."

"Well, that's kind of our thing. Shocking adults." James swung into the seat and reached over to grab a few glasses from behind the bar. "We'll all have a glass of water thanks."

"So where are you kids off to?" Tom asked charming a glass to fill with something that didn't look much like water for him.

"We're going catch a movie." James said, clearly trying to be cool.

"Which he only stopped referring to as a 'mooby' quite recently." I smirked, taking him down a peg of two.

"Hah! That's gold." Tom snorted.

"Easy mistake…" James grumbled under his breath.

"Mooby? Are you serious? That's fucking hilarious! Why do I always miss the good stuff?" Sirius mocked his friend.

Tom gave me a pretty obvious once over. "What's your name then, cutie?"

"Er.. Jaycee." I replied, flattered, as Tom was pretty cute himself, but a little creeped out. This guy was like 20. "And Sirius, for the last time, watch your bloody mouth."

Sirius, after glaring at Tom and putting his arm possessively round my shoulders, offered a silent apology with his puppy dog eyes. I'd only just begun to understand how so many girls could fall so in love with him. It was that look, I swear it. That look could achieve world peace.

"You kids ever need anything, I'm your man. Don't worry about pops back there. I can get you whatever." Tom smiled and wrote his number down on a napkin, which he handed to me with a wink.

"Awesome!" James grinned with awe. Lily had better watch out. She had some competition, it appeared. Remus and I exchanged a look. Brilliant. Now they had access to alcohol. They'd done plenty of stupid things without its assistance so far.

"He was such a creep. He tried to chat up Goldy!" Sirius complained once we'd left the pub.

"Well, he was a bit of a looker. I reckon you've got some competition Siri-poo." I teased and tossed the napkin at James.

"Hey. No." Sirius said plainly and slipped his hand into mine.

"Don't panic. You know I'm yours and only yours. Forever and ever." I blew him a kiss to which he responded with a smile.

"Ewwwwww." James yelled in my ear, pushing the napkin in his pocket. "Anyway, he was cool! He's going to provide firewhiskey for your and Sirius' birthday this year!"

"Is he now?" I asked.

"We're here!" Peter interrupted, saving James from another verbal beating about controlling others' lives.

The movies, for me, was a rather blasé event. But to the boys, it was the stuff of dreams. There was a bit of confusion at the cash register, which included a misunderstanding about actually needing to pay for tickets an angry security guard and James. Luckily I managed to smooth it over, insisting James was dying of a rare disease and had never been allowed out of the house before today, which excused his lack of knowledge about… well… everything. He managed a few fake coughs and a groan. James and Sirius spent an age in the candy store trying to decide what to buy to eat and ended up buying half the store each anyway. They were very perplexed about the whole paper money situation. James could not get his head around the fact that no muggle had ever confused it with regular paper before.

The movie, itself, wasn't actually too bad. It probably would have been better if James had allowed me to watch it without three million interruptions about how Muggles made movies without magic. I missed a good half of the plot while hissing explanations to him under my breath.

"WOW! That was incredible!" James said, mouth full of popcorn as the lights came up. There were a few scattered snickers from the other people in the cinema.

"Yes, James. Now let's go before we get thrown out. We've done pretty well so far." I sighed.

"Um, Jace… " Remus nudged me. Right! Dr. Verma.

"Yeah, um, guys. Remus and I are going to leave you for a bit. We want to—uh shop for some books we read about in one of your dad's Auror training books, James." I improvised. Peter and James nodded like this made perfect sense. Sirius, however, noticed my little delay between 'We're leaving' and the explanation. He shot me a confused look and raised an eyebrow. I responded with an uneasy smile. If Avadae Vindica existed, I would tell him, I told myself. But there was no need to raise his hopes only to have them plummet. He didn't need that right now.

"Let's go, Remmy." I hooked his arm and pulled him off in the direction of what hopefully was the Ministry visitor entrance.

V

We squished into a red telephone booth, a bit of a tight fit for two 16 year olds.

"Are you sure about this? It says out of order…" Remus stated the obvious looking a bit dubious.

"Um. Yes. I'm sure." I lied. It was only a little lie. After all I knew for sure that the entrance was an out of order telephone booth somewhere around Covent Garden. Actually, thinking about it… it may have been _the_ Newington Garden_s_. Which, you know, wasn't too far away… in a high powered racing car.

"What are we even meant to do?" He picked up the receiver and listened for a dial tone. As I expected, he looked at me with much doubt in his eyes once he found it dead.

"Oh give it here." I sighed and shoved him out of the way. What was the word again… I held the phone, desperately racking my brains for what the bloody number had been. M-A-G-I-C. 62442

"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and business." A cool female voice sounded in the telephone booth itself, rather than the actual receiver. Remus nearly leapt out of his skin, not at all expecting the voice. He banged his head on the door with a loud groan.

"Please repeat your name and business in a clearer manner." The voice sounded again.

I stifled a laugh and mumbled, "Jaycee Aigleigh and Remus Lupin… er…" I had not though this far ahead. I couldn't very well say we were popping down for a quick reccy of the secret archives.

"We're meeting my father who works in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes." Remus improvised. Impressive. I hadn't even told him the real reason we were here. I'd left it as a simple, 'ask no questions and I'll tell no lies' thing.

"Thank you," stated the voice. "Please take the badges and attach it to the front of your robes."

I jumped back, right into Remus, as there was a click and rattle. The place that was meant for collection of change now held two square, silver badges. I glanced at Remus. He shrugged and reached around me to grab his. I did the same. It read, _Jaycee Aigleigh (Listed Vigorater) Visitor to: Dep of A+C_. I felt a bit like a criminal, knowing that the Ministry felt they needed to warn people about my species.

"Visitors, you are required to submit to a search and present your wand for registration at the security desk, which is located at the far end of the Atrium."

The telephone booth shuddered and began to move down.

"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic." The voice spoke coolly and calmly. I peered around the booth door, searching for the security desk. There it was. I simultaneously pinned my badge on and practically dragged Remus across the Atrium. We had no time to lose.

"Hi." Remus said awkwardly. The one security guard was dozing with a sugar donut resting on his rather large belly. He woke up with a great snort and grunted in acknowledgement at us.

"Hello. Please present your wand and… Merlin. It's you…" He said, eyes widening at my pin. Well, on the up side, at least he was awake now.

"Yes. Yes. It's me the terrifying Vigorater who's going to 'suck your soul'" I quoted one of the Prophet articles. "Just a note: that's Dementors… Here's my wand now let me go with my friend to visit his Dad."

The guard cautiously glanced at Remus' wand and mine before shakily telling us to have a good visit.

I rolled my eyes and led Remus over to the elevator.

"Good Godric, I hate people like him!" I ranted as the doors opened and reminded us we were in the Atrium, just in case we'd forgotten. "Boneless, weak, propaganda-eating, clones who can't think for themselves!"

"Calm down, Jace. You're going to have to get used to it—"

"Get use to it! Why should I?" I shouted. "It's NOT fair."

"I know, Jaycee. I know. But life's not fair. Especially for us." Remus said sadly. His voice deflated me immediately as I realized he was right. There was nothing we could do about prejudice other than not holding any ourselves. It was an unhappy thought.

The elevator doors began to close, but someone stuck their hand in, stopping them. I involuntarily took a step back as I saw whom it was. Wild black hair, aristocratic features that reminded me of Sirius, and a stride that clearly emanated confidence.

"Bellatrix Black!" I hissed under my breath.

She shot me a confused look. "Actually, I'm Andromeda Tonks… Who the hell are you? Nymphadora, come on, sweetie!"

A little girl with lilac hair and a wicked grin whipped into the elevator with us and the doors finally shut.

"We're Sirius friends." Remus said, rolling his eyes at me. "He talks about you all the time. I'm Remus Lupin and this is Jaycee Aigleigh. It's really nice to meet you."

"Hi… Sorry I mistook you for Bellatrix… you kinda do look the same." I muttered apologetically.

"That's ok. It happens all the time, actually. Oh, Remus and Jaycee! Of course. I know all about you." She grinned, her laughter lines deepened. Once I saw her smile, I knew beyond any doubt that she was definitely not Bellatrix Black. "This is my daughter, Nymphadora. She's coming to work with me today, aren't you hun."

"Yes yes yes!" The little girl shrieked with joy, hair turning a spectacular orange.

Remus and I must have looked taken aback because Andromeda laughed and explained, "Dora's a metamorphmagus. She's a young one, so hasn't really got control of her powers yet. It can be a little unnerving. Can you say hello to Remus and Jaycee?"

Nyphadora smiled and hid behind her mother's skirt. "Hello Remuth and Jaythee." She lisped.

"Level Two. Department of Magical Law Enforcement." Stated the elevator.

"Bye, Andromeda. It was nice to meet you. Bye-bye Dora." I waved, grinningly. Remus muttered a strangled goodbye as I pulled him from the lift.

"Why are we in such a hurry, Jaycee. For Merlin's sake!" He shook his arm out of my grasp.

"Because we don't have heaps of time!" Was all I said. How long did he think it would take for Sirius and the others to get suspicious? Or even leave! How long did he think it would take for Crouch discover and inform the Law Enforcers that there was a Vigorater in the ministry? I was no fan of politics, but only a complete vegetable wouldn't be able to see who was really in charge at the moment. And it wasn't Bagnold.

"Ok, that's it." Remus stopped walking with a huff. "If you don't tell me where we're going and why we're here I'm going no further."

I grinned. "That's good because here we are." I knocked on the door of the office Remus had conveniently halted in front of.

"Dorcas Meadowes? Wasn't she head girl a few years ago? Why are we going to see her?" He asked, curiosity piqued.

"If you read the placard," I rolled my eyes expressively, "she's in charge of the archives."

"That's really interesting actually because rumour has it that she's actually working in the ministry as a political ploy and…" Remus began, spouting off information as usual. And then the penny dropped. "The archives? Jaycee Aigleigh tell me you are not planning on sneaking into confidential ministry-"

He was cut off in mid rant by the opening of the door.

"Jaycee? I didn't expect to see you again! What a nice surprise. And who's your friend?" Dorcas chattered amiably, gesturing for us to come in.

"This is Remus Lupin. Want to say hi, Remus?" I stifled a snicker. Upon seeing Dorcas, he had been reduced to nothing more than a blithering, bumbling, tongue-tied, awestruck male.

"H-hey."

"So what brings you two down here, then?" Dorcas said, flicking some paperwork into their respective files with her wand.

"Actually… um… well…" I began, losing the power of speech for a moment, not unlike Remmy dearest. I nudged him in the rib. He had this glazed look in his eye that I recognized as the look James had whenever Lily was within a 5-mile radius. Dumbstruck.

He came to his senses startlingly quickly and cleared his throat, clearly a little embarrassed. I must say, I'd never wanted to laugh harder. Remus? Remus Lupin? Speechless upon seeing a _female_?

"Jaycee-er… wants to…" He glared at me accusingly as if to say 'why do I always have to do the dirty work?'

I sighed and cut him off. "Dorcas, do you know anything about a Dr. Nihan Verma?"

"Verma, Verma… Verma… Hmmm…" She flicked her wand to open another set of drawers and summoned the papers inside.

Remus and I looked at one another with bated breath. If she knew who he was, there was no need to sneak into confidential government archives.

"I may have heard the name… It rings a bell." She tapped her fingers on the desk, deep in thought. "What does he do?"

"He wrote a book called _Defensive Charms: Fact or Fiction_. First published in 1974 in London" He spouted. And Dorcas' eyes lit up.

"Of course! Fact or Fiction! I knew I'd heard Verma before. He's under Ministry watch at the moment because—" She suddenly stopped herself, knowing she'd given away what must be top secret information.

"Why…" She asked suspiciously.

"Uhmm." I shot a look at Remus. To lie or not to lie? He tilted his head ever so slightly indicating a firm NO. And he was right. The fewer people who knew about this the better.

"It's really, really important." I stressed. "And Dumbledore told me about it." Remus tried to hide his smile. Bringing Dumbledore up was a sure way of gaining information from most people.

"Mm.. Okay. Well I suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell you this. You're hardly Death Eater spies." She laughed. "Dr. Verma is a false name. A select group of people, including myself, know him as Dr. Ray Shah. Verma is under close Ministry watch for the release of some classified information in his most recent book. I believe it had something to do with a spell of some sort the ministry were testing at the time. The book you were talking about. I'm surprised you found a copy. Most were found and destroyed."

"So this imaginary Nihan Verma is under surveillance while Dr. Shah isn't even registered as a wizard?" Remus asked, clearly impressed.

"Yes. The ministry think they've got a cover what he's up to. And of course, Ray is always publishing something or other, papers etc, under his false name to keep them happy. Really, though, he's doing all his real research right under their noses! It's brilliant!" She replied.

"Well, we really need to find him. Do you know how we could do that?" I asked, excited. We were really getting somewhere now.

"I guess I could give you his owling address. He's in Egypt at the moment researching a new myth, I've heard." She scribbled something down and held it out. Remus and I both jolted forward to grab it, knowing this could be the answer to Avadae Vindica. We laughed and I let him take it. The more responsible of the two, being completely honest.

We said thank you to Dorcas and left the Ministry quickly, managing to avoid most people. We headed back the way we came. James had told us they were going for a walk around London and then to get some lunch and if we didn't want to miss out we must be at 'this restaurant Lily talked about once with big yellow arches in the front' by two. McDonalds? I had asked, containing a giggle. That's the one! He replied and then asked if this McDonald was the same one in the Muggle children's song about a farm? That was when I, with shock that he honestly didn't know what a McDonalds was, left for the Ministry. That boy.

"This is fantastic!" I sang and leapt in the air with joy. I was finally going to solve the mystery of Avadae Vindica. Maybe… just maybe… I could protect them all from Voldemort's most final weapon.

"Don't get too excited…" Remus mumbled, not wanting to burst my bubble. I could tell. "It might all be for nothing."

"Thanks Remmy old boy. Where's your sense of adventure? Or Perhaps!? What happened to the curious Remus we all know and love?" I poked his side playfully, still grinning like a fool.

"I just don't want you to be disappointed." He sighed, rounding the corner. McDonalds' came in to view. So did the others. I ignored Remus and dragged him towards them, sitting outside, enjoying their… happy meals? Sirius was laughing so hard for a second I thought he was having an attack of some kind.

"You do realize those are meant for children under the age of 10, right?" I asked, eyebrows raised.

"GOLDY!" Sirius jumped up from the chair and leaned over the plants enclosing the McDonalds area to give me a huge, passionate kiss, right in front of everyone! I must have been bright red because James pulled a tomato from his burger and reached across to hold it next to my face causing Peter and Remus to crack up. I giggled into his lips and pushed him off me.

"Sirius! Not in front of the entirety of London, please." I scolded jokingly.

"Why not? I think the entirety of London need to know you are taken." He said, also in a joking manner. But was I the only one that noticed the little side-glance he gave Remus? Surely, _surely_ he couldn't think…. that?! That was absolutely ridiculous. Almost topping rumours that the Canons were going to be representing England in the World Cup this year.

I went up to the counter to order for Remus and I, keeping one eye on the table. Maybe I was just imagining things, but was Sirius purposely blocking Remus out of conversation?

I must be making things up in my head. Because even the _thought_ that I was cheating on Sirius with one of both our best friends… well… actually, that can take 1st prize for most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Surely he trusts me at least that much.

Surely…

**AN: Hello. I am feeling rather ashamed of myself right now as I have been very much alive and not updated this story since June or July last year. Jesskalynn4's review got me back on my feet again. No the story is far from over. Yes, I have had a very VERY bad case of writer's block. I kind of stopped loving this story and the characters. But I went back over it today, reread the whole thing and suddenly decided that, actually, I love my characters. I'm not ready to give them up quite yet. So I wrote some more. It was difficult, but I've been feeling so guilty for just abandoning you guys like that. You deserve an ending. (Plus I want to prove to myself that I can actually finish something I've started too :P ) I realize I've probably lost more than half my reader's, but that's ok. Even if there's only one person left, I'll keep writing for them :) Sorry again and I hope this chapter sparks some interest. This is where things start happening. **


	46. The Issue

**A quick recap: (also I'm sorry this is late again)**

_Remus got a video camera from his uncle and he loves very much and has begun to record absolutely every aspect of the Marauder's and Jaycee's lives._

_Remus and Jaycee found a book by Dr. Nihan Verma that mentioned Avadae Vindica and are very excited._

_Sirius left his parents after James gave him a talking to and has just shown up at the Potters looking pretty worse for wear._

_The Marauders and Jaycee went to the movies- James made a fool of himself_

_Jaycee and Remus went to the ministry of magic to talk to Dorcas Meadowes about Verma_

_They learned that Verma is a false name and his real name is Dr. Ray Shah and that he's in Egypt researching_

_Sirius is becoming suspicious of Remus and Jaycee's relationship_

_**I went up to the counter to order for Remus and I, keeping one eye on the table. Maybe I was just imagining things, but was Sirius purposely blocking Remus out of conversation?**_

_**I must be making things up in my head. Because even the **__**thought**__** that I was cheating on Sirius with one of both our best friends… well… actually, that can take 1st prize for most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.**_

_**Surely he trusts me at least that much.**_

_**Surely…**_

Ch 46 The Issue _July_

I watched Sirius closely over the next few days. Of course, I would never say anything to him when he was in such a fragile state. But I watched. And what I saw not only supported my suspicions, but also practically proved them. It seemed that whenever I spoke to Remus or even looked at him, Sirius would tense. He would abandon whatever he was doing and join our conversation. This, of course, made discussing Dr. Shah particularly difficult. Remus didn't seem to notice anything, or if he did, ignored it completely. I suppose everyone was giving Sirius a state of grace for the moment. James didn't even say anything when Sirius cruelly scoffed at James' persistence with Lily. We were trying to understand and help. But they couldn't ever understand what it was like to be abandoned and despised by your family. Kicked around so much and told you're worth nothing so often… you begin to believe it.

"Sirius… can I talk to you for a second?" I knocked on his door tentatively. The gaps between his difficult or silent moods became shorter and were occurring less often. He looked up at me from where he was lying; face down, on the bed. It was pretty late. Belle and Harry had gone to bed early after Remus had gone on his usual video-camera tirade. James and Peter soon followed leaving poor Remus with nothing to video but an empty house. Sirius didn't even come down for dinner. We were all at a loss for what to do. No one wanted to confront him. No one wanted to say anything. But we could see he was miserable. He was wallowing in desperation and turmoil.

He grunted in response and I quietly stepped inside, closing the door behind me.

When I didn't say anything else he asked gruffly into his pillow, "What do you want?"

"What do I want?" I repeated, confused by the question. What did I want? I was his girlfriend. I was probably the only person who even came close to loving him as much as James! What _did_ I want? I wanted him to be happy again. I wanted to hear his voice, carefree and full of life again.

He said nothing. I sat down on the end of his bed. He sat up, his face closed-off completely. I couldn't read him at all, for the first time in years.

"I- I want you to talk to me. Please, please! Just talk to me." I begged, choking up a little.

"Talk to you about….?" He asked and raised an eyebrow.

"What the hell do you think!?" I asked, losing it a little. How could he not see that we were dying with worry about him? Was he so selfish he couldn't even see the effect he was having on the entire house?

"I think you should piss off and mind your own, that's what I think." He turned his back to face the wall.

"Oh my God! Can you not see what you're doing? Can't you see how worried everyone is? You can't just bottle things up like that!" I raised my voice. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

He whipped his head around, eyes flashing with rage. "You have no bloody idea. None of you do. You have no idea what it's like to feel… feel so… USELESS. So NOTHING. Completely worthless! A disappointment." He sneered.

"Excuse me?" I asked, hands shaking now. "What is that supposed to mean? What the _hell_ do you mean by that? Are you belittling my problems because… because they're _Muggle_ problems?! Is that what you're trying to say? That your parents are much much worse because you're a bloody pure-blood?"

"No! But come on Jaycee, don't pretend you know how I'm feeling right now. Your dad was never as bad as mine." His voice broke, giving him away, but he had gone way too far.

"You know what…" I started quietly and got up off the bed, hands on hips, looking right at his still seated form. "I don't even know who you are anymore. The old Sirius would never, EVER have COMPARED our problems. What even is that?! You're being so… _selfish._ What's wrong with you?" My voice grew in strength and volume, "Yes what's happened is awful and unfair and NO ONE should have to go through that. But you got out! And I got out. And every single one of your friends is supporting you right now. You have no right, no bloody right to act this way. We LOVE you and you're just tossing us aside."

He stood up too, still furious, to face me. "Really, Jaycee? Really? You're supporting me? You love me? I thought you and _Remus_ bloody Lupin were an item now."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" I yelled in his face. Was _that _what was bothering him? That was the core of this sulky attitude. He was just jealous?

"You know exactly what it means, Jaycee Aigleigh! It's always been him and don't even try to deny it. You see. I am worthless! To them and to you! SECOND BEST. SECOND CHOICE. ALWAYS." He screamed back.

I was seeing red now. How dare he, how DARE he accuse me of that?

"IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW, SIRIUS BLACK!" I began, red-faced, clenched fists, "YOU'RE INSANE. THIS IS MENTAL. MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. MAYBE…" I paused to take a breath and to deliver the final blow. And saw him. Broken. Twisted on the inside by circumstance and crazed exaggerations simmering in his mind. Feeling alone and misunderstood. Too proud to stoop for help.

"Maybe what?" He said, voice thick with anger, hatred and… anticipation?

"Maybe…. We should go for a walk." I ordered more quietly and summoned his jumper. He took it silently, not looking at me.

We crept down the stairs and to the front door, avoiding surprise objects scattered around like odd boots or books no one had bothered to put back on the shelves. We didn't speak. Or touch. The door creaked a little as it opened, but I knew Belle and Harry wouldn't really mind if they realized we were out.

I took him through the garden, right to the fence at the edge of the Potter's property.

"Sit down." I said softly and sat leaning against the fence for support. He obeyed, still not looking at me.

"Why are we here?" He croaked.

"I thought you needed a break." I replied honestly.

"Maybe you were right…"

"Maybe." I touched his hand. "Please talk to me."

"I- I don't know… what to say." He struggled to find the words. But it didn't matter, I knew what he meant.

"I love you, a lot. You know that, right?"

He looked at me like he didn't believe me. His nose was red. I could see he was trying to be strong and not cry.

"_You're_ it. You've always been it for me. Not Remus. Not anyone else. You. You're not worthless. Not to me. Or James or Belle and Harry. Not to any of us." I rested my head against his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his unsteady breathing.

"Why me. Why are you with _me_? Merlin knows I don't deserve you." He whispered. I almost burst out laughing. Him? He was the more undeserving of us two? What a joke! Godric only knows how _I _got so lucky. And I told him so. He didn't reply, but I caught the faintest smile playing on his lips illuminated by the crescent moon.

We didn't move for… it must have been hours. And I knew I hadn't miraculously fixed him. That the next few months or even years were going to be hard. And that this strange jealously he seemed to have of Remus was long from gone. But for now, for this one night. We were ok. It was funny. The two unwanted children had found each other. It seemed like we were destined to be together. There was nothing really we could've done to stop it. But it couldn't be more perfect. If we put in the effort, like any relationship, we could be something. Something special.

V

"Jace? Pads!?" What the hell are you doing out here? We've been looking for ETERNITY!" James shouted across the garden. I blinked and slowly sat up, disentangling myself from Sirius' arms. He grunted in sleep and shifted slightly.

"Oh my MERLIN." He looked at me, eyes wide. "You didn't… you know… do-"

"NO! Merlin no! James! Mind out of the gutter, if you please!" I felt myself turn bright red. Even Sirius hadn't been able to sleep through that outburst.

"Wazgoinon?" He mumbled and sat up. "Oh shit… did we fall asleep?"

"Looks like it." James snickered. "What exactly _were_ you doing? You know… if you weren't doing… that."

"James shut up. We were talking, if you MUST know." I pulled myself up using the fence. Sirius followed suit.

"Is Belle really worried?" He asked, concerned. It was obvious to anyone that Belle Potter was so much more his mother than Walburga Black.

"She thought something like this was probably the case. Only… mummy dearest doesn't have the cleanest mind either." He winked and slapped a quickly reddening Sirius on the back.

"What's this?" I asked, giggling. "The great Sirius Black? Embarrassed by the idea of sex?"

"No…" He said indignantly as we began walking back to the house. "It's just… I- NO! I'm…"

"Oh, so you're embarrassed by the thought of _me_?" I teased. James was thoroughly enjoying the conversation, it seemed. He was laughing to no end at his best mate's utter discomfort.

"No! I'm not embarrassed by you, but—" He began, trying to find the right words. He wasn't doing too well. Sirius would never have a promising future as a politician.

"So it _is _sex then? Or is_ your_ sexuality?" James chimed in, trying to contain his giggles.

"NO! I AM NEITHER EMBARRASSED BY SEX OR MY SEXUALITY!" He screamed.

"Er… Good to know, sweetie." Belle said from the table in the corner of the room we had just entered. It looked like she was working on an interior design for a spa or something. Clearly not concerned at all that two of her charges had been found missing hours earlier.

Sirius slapped his forehead while James and I howled with laughter. Remus and Peter tumbled down the stairs in fits of giggles upon realizing Sirius and I had been found. They had most definitely heard Sirius' last outburst. Remus had the camera… of course. Merlin I was getting sick of that thing already.

"So Sirius," He asked in a newsreporter voice holding the camera right in Sirius' face, "Would you say that sex doesn't embarrass you, then?"

"Oh Godric! Guys leave off!" He groaned and covered the lens with his hand.

Luckily for Sirius, just as James opened his mouth to make what would undoubtedly be a hilariously witty and remarkably clever retort a large, tawny owl swooped through the window Belle had smashed at the beginning of the summer with her poorly aimed curse.

"Ooh OWLS!" Belle squealed, jumping up from the table and tried to remove the five letters attached to the owl's leg.

"Mum, you're hurting it." James sighed as the owl hooted indignantly at Belle's attempt to untie the letters.

"Sorry, dear!" Belle leaped back, a look of pure devastation on her face.

"Let me do it." James untied the letters easily and chucked one to each of us. He stuck his tongue out at his mother who flicked his ear in retaliation.

My heart pounded. This was it. I was finally going to get to see how my results went. I didn't want to open mine. I was too terrified by what I might find inside. Sirius and James high-fived as they compared marks. Obviously having achieved abnormally amazing results.

I fingered the piece of paper, building up the courage. Slowly, slowly, I peeled away the seal and opened the sheet.

ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL RESULTS

Pass Grades:

Outstanding (O)

Exceeds Expectations (E)

Acceptable (A)

Fail Grades:

Poor (P)

Dreadful (D)

Troll (T)

Jaycee Aigleigh has achieved:

Charms: O

Defense Against the Dark Arts: O

Divination: E

Herbology: O

History of Magic: A

Potions: E

Transfiguration: O

I scanned the list again. Four O's. Not… bad. I wish I had gotten that O I'd worked so hard for in Potions though. And I knew from the beginning I wouldn't have done well in History of Magic. Bloody Sirius. I had very mixed emotions as I looked, for the third time, at my results. I had failed. I hadn't gotten my straight O's that would give me at least a chance of being what I wanted to be most in the world.

"How'd you go, Goldy?" Sirius peered over my shoulder.

"Oi! No peeking. They're supposed to be private." I scowled at him. He reached around to grab them from me, but James was too quick and whipped them out of my hand, quick as a wink.

"Four O's and and two E's. That's bloody fantastic, Jace! What the hell are you so down in the mouth about?" He exclaimed.

"I'm not down in the mouth." I sulked. How could I expect them to understand that without all O's I'd most likely end up unemployed? Only one of the four had the slightest inkling of what this meant. And luckily for him, no one knew about his condition yet. I looked at Remus, silently asking him how he'd fared.

He shrugged and mouthed, "Alright."

Sirius glanced between the two of us, but chose to ignore it. Thank Merlin. Hopefully he'd taken what I'd said last night to heart.

"Pete, how'd you go?" Remus turned away from me to ask the shorter boy.

"Not too bad. I got an E in Potions. And three A's!" He grinned, clearly proud of himself.

"Any T's? Remember last Charms assignment?" Sirius laughed. Peter's face visibly drooped.

"Sirius, don't be an arse." I said at the same time Remus said, "That wasn't very nice."

Peter hid a smile, but Sirius looked a bit put out. I entwined my fingers with his, reminding him I would always be his. He squeezed my hand tightly and twisted his arm around my waist.

"You did amazingly well, Goldy." He whispered in my ear. He knew. He always knew exactly what was wrong. I closed my eyes and leaned against his side.

"Well!" Belle said happily, still looking over James' results. "I'm going to pop off to Diagon Alley to get these books. Anyone want to come? No? Good, because I have a spa booking as well."

Belle kissed James on the head and ruffled his hair before grabbing a coat from where it had been flung over a chair.

"A lovely display of mother-son bonding." Remus commentated, zooming in on James' increasingly reddening face.

"Turn that thing off." He mumbled.

Belle grinned wickedly and blew her son a kiss. "Goodbye. Be good. Listen to Remus. Don't blow the house up. Your father's already done that twice this year and the repairmen are getting a bit sick of this family."

I felt Sirius' chuckle vibrate through my chest. It made me smile even more than Belle's, probably very true, comment.

Once she'd apparated away James gave me a look that I knew all too well.

"No." I said firmly.

"You don't even know what I want to do!" He protested.

"Mate. It's you. Let's be real here. It's going to end in disaster, whatever it is." Sirius made a face at James, earning a laugh from Remus and Peter.

"Actually, from what I've heard, paintballing is fully above board and totally disaster-free in the Muggle world." James replied snippily.

"That's expensive, James. Plus, do you even know what it is?" I asked.

"Yes I do. Dan Griffin from Ravenclaw told me about it when we were in a group for Charms. And it's not expensive if we don't leave the house." He grinned and pulled his wand out of his pocket to conjure a paintball gun.

"Oh shit." Sirius buried his face in my hair. "This is something I do not want to see."

"I vote yes." Remus grinned and conjured two guns. He tossed the spare to Peter who looked like Christmas had come early.

I nudged Sirius in the ribs to get him off me. "I'm in. As long as we don't destroy the house."

"Where's the fun in that?" Sirius asked mischievously, a gun already in his hands.

"Oh mother of Merlin." I groaned as James shouted WAR. Suddenly paintballs were flying. Purple, red, yellow, and blue paint splattered every surface.

When the first lighting fixture shattered, I managed a smile and conjured a gun of my own. If you can't beat 'em. Join 'em.

**AN: Sweet Jesus, I know I know. It's happened again. Writer's block is a killer. It really truly is. I'm not going to make up excuses because let's be honest, they're going to sound pathetic. Sorry again about how late this is :/ I will try harder in the future, but not the immediate future because ERMERGERD exams! DX **


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